Disclaimer: This newsletter contains explicit language and adult situations, and is sent to more than forty subscribers with great hair, fresh breath, and winning personalities. The views expressed in this newsletter belong solely to the editor and the writers, who are all completely insane. If you would like to stop receiving this newsletter, email Warren Brookes at unitedwk@yahoo.com because his coat is really big on me.
In this issue:
Cat's Official Week
Topic 1) Lunchtime Politics the Second
Topic 2) Replies to Last Issue
Topic 3) Top 15 Ways . . .
Topic 4) Song Lyric of the Week
Topic 5) Webpage of the Week
Topic 6) Quote of the Week
Cat's Official Week:
It's Spring Break! For most of us, anyway.
Topic 1) Lunchtime Politics the Second:
By Me
This week's question: Agree or disagree? Children of illegal immigrants in the United States should not be offered free public education.
Cat's opinion: Can we say disagree?
I think we need to be practical here. Like it or not, these kids are in our country. The least we can do for them is give them an education so they can find their way back home or something. More likely than not, though, they'll end up staying here. People whine about a low literacy rate and then want to deny people of elementary education? Hypocrites, I say!
I don't even think I need to bring up whether these kids were born here or not. I say that anyone under the age of eighteen should be given the right to a free and public education. Educating the kids will give them more self-esteem and help them learn the language, which in effect, will help them be successful later in life. Giving the kids an education may even motivate the parents to apply for citizenship or do something else so that they are not illegal.
I don't think immigration to the America is a bad thing either. Immigrants help our economy in many ways and they expand our understanding of their culture. And we've got loads of room to accommodate them. Heck, this country is made of immigrants! We can't be too nationalistic here since most of our families haven't even been here for two hundred years, right?Topic 2) Replies to Last Issue:
By Shannon Mylander
While I do think that seeing homosexuals kissing, holding hands, etc., in public is somewhat, let's just say, disturbing, I most DEFINITELY think that teachers, or any employees for that matter, should NOT be fired for their sexual preference. That is the employee's business and no one else's. I'm sure I have been around homosexuals, some of whom I've even talked to! I have no problem with others' sexual preferences, as long as it, or at least the "gruesome" details, are kept to themselves.
(that's an underscore ( _ ) after the soccergal part in case you can't tell). Include name, age, grade, and why you think I should pick you for my 2002 prom date. Also, just for my self esteem's sake, why don't you include why you would like to go with me. Hehe! Thanks! ~Shannon
Oh! I, too, am holding auditions for prom dates. WANTED: young male (preferably high school age--NO FRESHMAN!), straight, single, and really fun! Send all resumes to soccergal_50@hotmail.com
Topic 3) Top 15 Ways You Know Your Spring Break ?99 Sucked:
By Div and Me, Way Back When We Were Freshmen
Yep, your spring break sucked as much as ours if you have . . .
15) Been online more than outside. (i.e. actually visited "www.bobiscool.com")
14) Got kicked out of Wal-Mart vicinity for loitering.
13) You're over the age of 12, and willingly played "House."
12) Tried "www.joeiscool.com" when you found out "www.bobiscool.com" doesn't exist.
11) Actually proved the day's pollen count to be accurate.
10) Concocted over 40 ways to make fake vomit.
9) Main thrill of day: Shared personal life story with phone solicitor.
8) Discovered how fun it really is to sing along to Dad's old 8-tracks using hairbrush microphone.
7) Dent in couch. (Couch cushion stuck to butt.)
6) Found yourself to be hallucinating sounds of the ice cream truck.
5) Mesmerized by actions of trash compactor.
4) Weighed the pros and cons of being one of Bill Clinton's mistresses. (i.e., Pro: instant fame; Con: must fit unseen behind presidential podium.)
3) Wrote a theatrical play and performed it for stuffed animal crowd.
2) Your biggest accomplishment: Waking up before 3 PM.
And the #1 way you know your SB99 absolutely SUCKED...
1) You found yourself making up a stupid list like this one.
*This stupid Spring Break '99 list has been brought to you by . . .
Cat's & Div's lousy Spring Break experience!
Note for 2002: DO NOT let your Spring Break amount to this! We're older, more mature, and heck, we can drive cars! There's no excuse!
Topic 4) Cat's Song Lyric of the Week:
I wish I could tell the world 'cause you're such a pretty thing when you're done up properly; I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm body.
--Alanis Morisette, "Hands Clean"
Topic 5) Webpage of the Week:
Tests! Fun ones too! www.teststeststests.com
Topic 6) Quote of the Week:
"Why don't you write books people can read?"
--Nora Joyce-- to her husband James Joyce
Closing:
Val added a message board on the website if you wanna discuss Lunchtime Politics but don't wanna write a cohesive article. Discuss other things, too! Visit it (pretty please?): http://www.oocities.org/thelitterboxnewsletter/involved.html
Have a great week y'all, especially those Spring Breakers who are traveling and whatnot. I'll be in Disney World with my Girl Scout troop for the meat of the break. Stay sober and chaste (harder for some than others, I know) and I'll see you all next week.
And don't forget that I'm still taking Prom Date applications (ahem!).
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