The Ball
You speak, I suppress.
The hurtful things you spit at me get locked away.
Those words, the hate, anger, fear, and mostly tears get rolled in to a ball.
The ball is the black center of me, I can't escape it's pain.
It's nauseating, sitting heavy at the pit of my stomach.
Because of you I have built walls, hiding my tears.
I refuse to cry for you, I am to strong.
Why must you be so cruel to me, what did I ever do?
The ball is waiting, waiting to be released.
It must wait longer, I will not cry for you.
You ask why I am shy, I answer with a glare.
You did this to me this nauseating mass is your fault.
You realize not what you have done to me.
I don't want you to be pounded upon on your judgment day.
I want for you to feel what I feel know my pain.
Another day passes, I hold back my tears.
You must leave me know, I am building another wall and this ball's about to go.
Instinct
I walk in an open field, protection is not found.
I stand vulnerable to all.
My instincts set in.
I am now aware of all movement.
I hear the moving grass.
I smell changes in the weather.
I fell the wind and sun.
I am no longer so vulnerable.
Heart's Rain
To you I speak, from my heart, true feelings are revealed.
You say to meet you later on, so we can be together.
At that moment my soul fills with joy, you put it there for me.
Later on I wait, yet my love I do not see.
Home I trudge after grasping your intent, seeing the point of your game.
I cry the cry of a lost child, unsure of what to do.
Tears stream down like a great waterfall, this is the hearts rain.
This rain cannot be blocked, it must heal.
The rain is from a cut in the soul a slash in the heart.
You may as well have stabbed me, the pain would be far less.
I am engulfed by a monsoon all thanks to you, you and your game.
It is because of you that I learned the pain of the hearts rain.
Entrapped
Intelligence is within
it burns bright as a star.
She is held back.
Stuck in a world with no challenge.
Stuck in a place with no change.
Surrounded by ignorance.
Surrounded by self made walls.
Trapped in a four year hell.
Trapped in a place where correcting superiors is wrong
Afraid to show her true self.
Afraid of having to stay longer.
Wondering what she did to deserve this sentence.
Wondering why she is here.
Shot down by words of hate.
Shot down by standardized tests.
Thinking this place is not fair.
Thinking there must be somewhere better.
Knowing she is misunderstood.
Knowing one day she will be free.
Knowing, she is me.
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