My Morning

an OrsiniFamily.net site!

 Sit at the edge of my work desk and

 take a look at yet another

never-quite-ordinary day!

Chapter 2

All morning long, on the way to work and during my early morning routine, I had been considering a difficult choice. As I thought about it, I kept vacillating between one idea and another, and finally, I choked it down and said to myself, “I’m going to do what’s easiest, and that’s that. God is not calling me to do this or even to make this decision right now. It would be too disastrous if I carried it through to completion. He will provide me a clear path when he’s ready for me to act.” Then, I removed the weekend pages from my little inspirational daily desktop calendar and read, “It is an achievement for a man to do his duty on earth, irrespective of the consequences.”

I could have thrown a hammer at God right then. Can you imagine it? Me? Tossing a tool at my Lord and savior, the one who bled and died for me? He is worthy of worship and honor. But, at that moment, he was asking too much. I couldn’t do it, or so I thought. So I did what I had to do. I got to work on completing God’s assignment for me. (groan)

Who am I to hear from God? Who am I to listen to his call? He has so many greater people in this world to sound a horn to. He could pour out his wisdom on any other creature and find a better representative. I didn’t even do my daily walking this morning – or the six months’ worth of mornings before today. I am, in short, a failure. Need more proof? Read on!

This morning, I woke up tired. My bathroom was dirty. There was a small pile of fresh laundry on the floor in front of the closet. I couldn’t find the toothpaste. Quickly, I dressed and braided my hair into the same austere look I wear every day because it’s quick and easy. My scalp is itchy and I probably have dandruff. It’s another lovely day.

I got to the kitchen and realized I had not done the dishes the night before. They were piled up, and my hubby would not wash them. He would, instead, ask my daughter to do them, and at 15, she’s a lovely child. I don’t want to make her rebellious by shoving ALL my responsibilities upon her, particularly when she asks so little of me. So I filled the racks of my lovely machine and loaded the tray with soap before leaving. It was about 10 am when I realized I had never turned on the dishwasher.

I ate too much for breakfast, starting off with a brownie, adding crazy oatmeal, and finally lunching at 11 am, which is my regular lunchtime. Since I wouldn’t eat again until 6, I really loaded up at lunch, too, so I have had heartburn all day. A cheery thought -- I am not alone. Heartburn keeps me company, providing me with that inner glow and contorted expression that makes passersby wonder. LOL

This evening, I plan to finally clean my bathroom, but at 3:48 pm, I tend to think that way. By 7, that thought has fled, and in its place is, “Rest, since this is going to be my only chance for it.” Later, I plan to pluck my eyebrows. Thank God they aren’t bushy, or I might have flocks of deer hiding out in there, since I haven’t plucked in over two months. Finally, I hope to school my kids, even if only a little bit for a few minutes. (In my head, a resounding Ha! has echoed in that cavernous space, reminding me that I have that thought every day, too.)

Why do I keep calling myself a homeschooling parent? Won’t liars be barred from entrance to the heavenly kingdom? (grin) Actually, I have now begun telling people, “My kids are homeschooled.” How’s that? Better? In the end, I don’t stop believing in my choice. It was a good one. I don’t doubt that my kids will be fine. Those momentary months, weeks, or years of panic are only an aberration. In reality, I know in my knower that everything will be fine. I trust God. And that’s what keeps me going.

~Stephanie~

aka. The Story Making Mother

www.oocities.org/storymakingmotheronline

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