> recent entries > previous 10 Entries > next 10 entries > My Website > RadkePICS > My Movies > My CDs > Strong Bad! > friends > profile > 1st Caption Contest Winner > 2nd Caption Contest Result > 1st Randomness Cartoon!!! > 2nd Randomness Cartoon!!! > 3rd Randomness Cartoon!!! *NEW!* > Radkussions > Birthday POEM!!! Take this kid and subtract one spleen and you would get what he is today. Wednesday, October 13th, 2004 03:54 - What a week...WHAT-A-WEEK. Hey everbody!!! It's time to check up on your favorite Radke...JONATHAN Radke!!! (unless you're IN the Radke family or know my sister or mom or dad or any of my family members better) ANYWAYS!!! Back to updating...man...why do i wait a long time before i update again. Lemme see if I remember what I did after the last time I updated...let's see...OH YEAH!!! Tuesday was the day upon us, and it was another day of classes...I wake up and go to Speech as usual, after getting about 3-4 hours of sleep. After Speech, I go home where i PLANNED to study for my microbiology test. Too bad I didn't plan on FALLING ASLEEP. The next thing I know, is that I'm waking up, and it's 16:45. "FUCK!!!" is what I think as I looked at my clock in awe. I get out of my Speech class at 11:20, and i get home at about 11:30-11:45. FIVE FUCKING HOURS?!?!? IT'S RIDICULOUS!!! That night I studied for the MB (MicroBiology) test AGAIN. I fell asleep late...AGAIN. Ah Wednesday...you are the only day during the week where i can ACTUALLY sleep in without feeling guilty about skipping a class. Too bad I didn't wake up until 14:00. Too bad I skipped AGAIN (Chemistry II). I mean, I'm not callin' myself a bad student, because i really DO learn more on my own, but DAMN! Can't I go to ONE FUCKING CLASS?!?! At least I use the time to it's fullest (studying MORE for MB). Of course, I have to watch Smallville, and then it was back to the books. Sleep hit me late again...damn this fucking test. Thursday rolls around again, and I ACTUALLY go to ALL my classes!!! You hear that?!?! EVERY CLASS THAT DAY!!! Micro went alright...we got another sample test which was good. Stats was another story...I go in, and the professor says we have a QUIZ!!! excellent...this quiz was over the stuff we did on tuesday, but unfortunantely for me, I was measuring the probabilty of taking a nap. So, I write my name on it, and leave it blank. It was such a shame...I look right next to the name blank, and it reads "QUIZ # 3." Seeing that shocked me. This was the first quiz I've taken in there. OUCH. My day just got MORE PISSY!!! I get out of class, and it was off to work with me (after gettin' some grub at the mall). I worked 19:00-23:00, and then it was off to Lauren Kay's for our usual hang out place. I get there roughly at about 23:30 with a twelve pack of Coronas and some limes. YUM YUM!!! Can't beat Coronas!!! It was either two six packs of Pacifico or a twelve pack of Coronas...which ever was cheaper. Guess what? Ashley was here with her friend Amber!!! I get there, and I start drinking my Coronas. Ashley, Lauren Kay, and Amber all leave to go eat at Katz's (BLAH!!!) while me and Mike both hang out with the random guys that go to Lauren's a lot (Jeff, Orin, Josh<--he lives there, and othere). The girls get back about an hour and a half later, and they just come in to say a few words and then leave. They didn't really want to drink that night...FRIDAY was the big night of drinking. Ashley only had half a Corona, and being the DRUNKARD that I am, I can't let a good beer like that be half wasted. I ended up having about 7-8 beers that night. YOYSAS. and i had to be at work at 10:00 that next morning. FUN STUFF...except when you get home REALLY drunk at 04:30. So, I wake up, and I leave for work with alcohol still in my system. I'm not drunk, but I'm not sober...the limbo phase of drinking. I'm gonna call it "Drinkbo." So, I was in Drinkbo until about 12:00, and then the aftermath set in. I was dragging myself through the "difficult" tasks of being a bedfinder. Well, the business office was celebrating the coming of Fall, so I didn't have to pay for any food. IT WAS FREE!!! Well, I clocked out at 18:00 ready to go to the Langham Creek homecoming game!!! JOHNNY CAME HOME FOR THIS!!! So, I get off work, and it's off to Mike's because he volunteered to drive the both of us. We arrrive at the game rough around 19:00-19:30, and I started feeling low IMMEDIATELY upon entrance. "2 pounds of Skittles STAT" is what I was thinking, and luckily for me, I bought Skittles earlier that day for just the occasion (of having a low blood sugar). I scarfed down a lot of those Skittles, and then I was better in no time. Mike and I sat in the stands waiting for the phone call from Johnny/Emily (let's just call them "Johnily")...we were waiting for the call from Johnily because we were suppose to meet them up there. Waiting took place while ass kicking took place. Not by Langham...by Cy-Fair High School. Yeah...more about that later. So, FINALLY Johnily calls me, and tells me where they are. We didn't actually meet up with the whole other group (Christina, Vince, Johnily, David, and Mr. & Mrs. Salinas) until after half time. But in the mean time, we were chatting it up with c/o 99ers Mark Gutierrez and Jeremy Guidry. I also see Krystal Hennigan, the fellow c/o 01er that transferred to Cy-Springs from Langham Creek our juinor year. She looked like she was doin' good though...good for her. After the game (LANGHAM LOST 31-6<--SAD< FOR A HOMECOMING GAME, LANGHAM CREEK HIGH SCHOOL...JUST PLAIN SAD), Mike and I take a trip up to Lauren Kay's again to be the life of the party and stuff like that. ha-ha-ha. Well, we get there, and I have one beer. I start making drinks for everybody, and OF COURSE, they are delectable. Not FOAMY at all...more like uh, well, no foam whatsoever. I don't get drunk this night...I get a LIGHT buzz, and that's it. I only drank about 4 beers throughout the entire night. We had a big day planned for Saturday! i got home at about 05:30 and I crashed on my bed immediately. Langham Creek High School Homecoming Game Pictures HERE Saturday we all decided to go to ASTROWORLD!!! Me, MIke, Johnily, Christina, Vince, David, and Jackie!!! Mike and I get there earlier than the other group, and we got to ride three rides while waiting for them. When we met up with them, it was about an hour after we got there, but it was ok. The park was EMPTY, and it was GREAT. Hardely no waiting, and hardely no little kids getting in the way. We rode the new ride SWAT later on that day and OH MAN...I haven't felt a rush like that in AGES!!! I don't know if it's an actual rush, or if it's just the feeling of you head almost EXPLODING...it was fun. We left Astroworld when they closed at 22:00, and then preceeded along to Mike's to get his cell phone and figure out what we're doin' for that night. We ended up meeting Lauren Kay & Co. at the new location of Star Bar, the sheesha bar. We hang out there for a bit, and then it's off to the apartment again. After hangin' out a bit, and drinking some WATER and DIET COKE, we were on our way home...once again at about 05:00. I get home at about 05:30, and i just crash faster than I did that previous night. I was just so fucking tired. I mean, it WAS immediately that I fell asleep. Astroworld pictures HERE Sunday sunday sunday...I planned to study all day today, but I just didn't feel like studying...I know, bad right. Well, it appeared also that Lauren kay did not feel like studying either, so I decide to go buy the movie Saved! and watch it over there. It's Lauren, Josh, and myself watching this movie, and after it was done, Josh asks me to go to the store with him to buy some beer. We buy a 12 pack of Coors Light, and three Steel Reserve Malt Liquor. Now, I have never had the "Steel Reserve" before so I was inclined to try it. 24 oz. can and 8.1 % alcohol. WOW...i finished one can and I was already drunk...I shouldn't have drank it that fast. OF course, I continue the night with some beer. Mike comes up there later and hang out a bit with Lauren, Josh, Orin, Jeff, and myself. We watch Rose Red and then it's off to the casa again. 03:00 I got there THIS night. Sober if you can believe that actually. If you start drinking at about 20:00, you CAN be home at a decent hour (well, decent for ME at least). You can say it...i wasted my weekend of studying for having fun and drinking. I KNOW I DID. Monday morning wasn't a very eventful morning. I just went to class, and then skipped my chemistry lecture. I had to make up some studying time for my MB test. So, I had read 5 chapters at this point,and i had three more to go. I decided to stop by at Emily's to have some studying silence. Too bad I fell asleep on her couch until abou 17:30. I awoken a few minutes before Emily got back, and then I said bye and then it was off to the house for me AGAIN to attempt to study. I actually, DID study this time, getting through one and a half chapters. That means I had read 6.5 chapters and all that was left was the last 1.5 chapters. I said screw it. I didn't want to stay awake anymore. I had to be on my A-game for that next day (THE day of the MB test). So, I get into bed at about 03:30. I then wake up to go to Speech. I get back home, and i try to cram reviewing 6.5 chapters in TWO HOURS. Not a good idea...I cram a good bulk of it, but not all of it. It's finally crunch time...I'm getting out of my truck at 14:25 with my MB notebook in my hand, doing last minute studying for the test. When I get in there, everyone is seated with one seat in between each of them. We're suppose to sit like this, but too bad there weren't enough seats. I took my whole fucking test on the floor. I don't think I did too bad though...I knew MOST of the test. After the test, I go get something to eat at the UC, and then it was off to Stats. I'M UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE DOING!!! After stats, I drive to the hospital, and then home...and then back out (to Lauren Kay's) with get this...my ORIGINAL Nintendo w/ games, my Super Nintendo w/ games, and my Nintendo 64 w/ games!!! I know they'll get better use from them than from me. I hardely ever play my Nintendos anymore. I just sport the style. Well, when I got there, Debbie was there, and we were all excited about playing old school Nintendo. I hook it up, and then we start playing. Why are video games so damn addicting? We play Nintendo until about 01:00, playing games like "Super Mario Brothers 3," "Duck Hunt," "Burgertime," and "Dr. Mario." Now, you would think that after playing for about 3-4 hours, we would be tired of it. But NO...I break out the 64 with Dr. Mario 64. Lauren Kay, Mike, and myself play that a little bit, and then we have a rather invigorating game of Mario Tennis. Debbie left us at about 01:30, and Mike left at about 02:15. It was Lauren, Bentley, and myself playing the 64 still. "Chef's Luv Shack" we play. I am the undefeated champion. Good try Bentley and Lauren Kay. I leave at 03:00, and arrive home at 03:30 after getting the mail. Oh yeah...I get my cingular bill, and guess who made 433 text messages this month? ME!!! That was 43 FUCKING dollars added to my bill. So, my cell phone bill is 100 dollars. Lesson learned? UN YEAH...i THINK...and HOPE. Well, that's all you're getting out of me tonight, so I bid you GOODNIGHT!!! Website: Family Guy Referances - This is a site that shows EVERY SINGLE Family Guy referance in the show...FREAKIN' SWEET! ShoUt out: Johnny Salinas - It was a lot of fun hangin' with you again man...can't wait until Christmas '04 and Summer '05!!! This will be our time, old friend...it WILL be our time. current mood: I'm kinda tired actually...I blinked once, and it felt like it took ten minutes to open them again. current music: Everclear - Sex With a Movie Star (Good Witch Gone Bad) Current Word/Phrase of the Day: "I know it's wrong daddy, but it feels so right!" ~Lauren Makazooli Kay Comments Tuesday, October 5th, 2004 01:38 - Jonathan Radke: Great Friend, or Diseased FREAK? Hey everyone...don't be fooled by the "dark" entry title. It's just the little bit of agony that I have been thinking about recently so don't feel sorry...PLEASE! Let's see...the last time I updated was about a week ago at around nine o' clock (PM). Well, stuff has happened since then, and I'm about to spill my guts!!! Well, everything I remember anyway. Wednesday was here, and so was going to Chemistry (my ONLY class on Wednesdays). I found out that I got a big fat 12 out of 20 on my first test. AHHHHHHH!!! I DID NOT LIKE THIS!!! AND I STILL DON'T!!! I DO NOT KNOW WHY I SPOKE IN PAST TESE THAT FIRST TIME!!! I'M DONE SCREAMING!!! Anyway, after I got out of Chemistry, I proceeded back home to estudiar or something like that. I THINK that's what i did. yes...I spent 6 hours SLAVING over that fucking Microbiology book, and I only completed ONE chapter. Our test is a week from today, and it's over 8, count 'em EIGHT chapter...OUCH. I hope I'll do ok. I seem to be taking rather thourough (<-- did i spell that right?) notes. After studying, I layed in my bed and watched a few episodes of Family Guy to give my brain a little rest. Family Guy is PERFECT for that type of thing...no thinking required!!! Thursday was upon us, and so was speech/microbiology/statistics. I went to speech (woke up pate that is), came home, did something i forgot, left for UH to go to greek teacher day, got more confused by trying to understand what they're saying, and then it was off to work. Now, I forgot my scrubs, so I had to do it all up in borrowed TEAL scrubs that surgery wear. It worked out perfect...not only did I forget my royal blue scrubs, but I forgot my blue adidas too, so I was wearing my GREEN laced New Balanced, and my green wristbands!!! I looked like a field of grass, and i was hot. Maybe. After work I went to Lauren Kay's to hang a bit with Mike and the Apartment Crew (Lauren, Lise, Bentley, and Josh). I had good clean fun. Funny story: I arriveed at Lauren's at about 23:45, and I go around, saying "hi" to everyone since it's been a while since I've seen Bentley and Josh. At about 23:50, Josh and lauren ask me if I can go out and get them beer (with their money). Lauren said shewould go with me. So, I say sure not realizing what time it was. I look at my watch, and it hits me that we only have 10 minutes to go out and buy the shit!!! Mike asks us where we're goin' and then he volunteers to drive. Me and Mike DASH to his truck, and drive around to pick Lauren up at the stairs. We raced out of the apartments to the Corner Store, and the time now is about 23:54. Well, gas stations seem to stop selling beer earlier, because once we ran in, the guys at the register say, "we're not selling beer anymore today." We take a step back and re-examine the situation trying to understand why they stopped selling so early. It's 23:56, and we still have no beer. Problem. We all SPRINT back to Mike's truck, and rush to H-E-B, right across the street. Mike parks the car, and tells us to stay..."i'll be right back guys" is the last thing we heard from mike before he went to buy it. The time now is 23:58, and I have no confidence in Mike getting it in time. Oh how wrong I was. While he's in there, me and Lauren are hangin' out inthe truck talking, and then i ask her if she has any food at her apartment. NOPE!!! So I get in there to buy somu CORN DOGS!!! I see Mike at the self check-out, with a panicked look on his face, still trying to beat the time. I look at my watch, and it says 00:00. So I assume he didn't get it. I grabbed the corn dogs, paid for them, and then tit was back outside to the truck. What do I see in the bed? A 20 pack of Coors Light. It looked as if there was a light radiating from it. Mike tells us that he ran his ass into H-E-B STRAIGHT for the beer section. Grabbed a "lady drink" for Lauren, and grabbed the 20 of Coors. He then ran with all this alcohol in his hands to the self check-out line. He told us that there was a crisis at the check-out, involving not being able to scan it. After a few tries, it scans, and he was able to get it. When we look at the receipt, the time reads, "00:01." We're confused, but happy that our purchase was made. I didn't even drink that much. I DID help myself to 4 corndogs in about 2 minutes though. MMMMMM-MMM!!!!!! Gotta love those corn dogs (with yellow mustard)!!! We left Lauren's at about 03:00 or so, and then I got back home (at this time i was sober) at about 03:30. Thursday ended!!! Friday...day of work, and then partying at night. Well, as you know, I worked but only one job (the easy one). During work I was studying my ass off with more microbiology while helping James with courier duties. After work, I went to Meracio's friend, Fernando's house because he was having a little par-tay. I got pretty buzed that night, with the Jager-bombs and bud light. I was feeling real good, but I didn't get to the point of drunkeness. Funny, huh? I made some drinks that had daquiri mix, bacardi limon, and mccorrmick's...not as good as my usual drinks, but still good enough. Well, we left the party at like 02:30, because Juan had to be home at 03:00. I got home, talked to a few people about my exciting night, and then it was off to bed with me (i had to work on Saturday). Woke up late, didn't shower, left for work. Today I was courier, and I HATE it when I work Saturdays at 15:00. Ya see, there are suppose to be volunteers on weekend mornings that they're SUPPOSE to get pumps and shit like that for the units. Unfortunantely, al our volunteers do is walk around in groups, and pick up MENUS from the patients. They dont' grab pumps, they don't grab specimens, they don't grab charts (LIKE THEY'RE SUPPOSE TO)!!! So, I get there, and it is like PUMP-CITY. Seven or EIGHT pumps at EACH station. Bags of poop and piss at each station. Charts, chaRTS, CHARTS GALORE!!! I have this dinky little cart that only allows me to hold at MAX, 18 pumps at one time (that is if there are no specimens or charts). I do my first round, and take TWO trips for each SIDE of our orthopedic floor. Great, one floor to go...7 more to go. YIPEE!!! So, I don't actually catch up with everything until about 20:00, and THAT'S when I get called by medical records people (these people are my friends), and they tell me that they have PIZZA!!! Of course, being a diabetic and all, all that exercise made my blood sugar low, so I HAD to eat. If you're asking yourselves, "why doesn't he work earlier on weekends to avoid all the pile up of shit?" I have an answer for you!!! My boss gets mad because volunteers complain they have nothing to do. GOD!!! THIS PISSES ME OFF. THEY COMPLAIN THERE'S NOTHING TO DO WHEN THERE'S PLENTY TO DO, BUT THEY JUST DON'T DO IT!!! Fucking teenagers...they should actually do a good job since the hospital IS giving them their fucking NHS hours. I want to kill them all...especially the asian ones. Hahaha...jk about the asian part. I really wanna kill every last one of them. So, when I get off work, I hear about this party over at Andy's, and of COURSE i have to be there to be the bartender!!! You can't get Margaradkes or Daquiradkes anywhere else!!! I go to the party and meet up with the usual crew plus a few other people...ya know, Lauren, Karla, Tiffany, Andy, Nick, Brittany, Ashley, Christina, Juan, and Meracio. The new ones were kids I met at the party on friday night. A c/o '01er (Tyson), a tall dude (Josh<--not apartment Josh), and Fernando. Well, I make my drinks and they're a success...OF COURSE. I only have three beers this night, and I don't get drunk AGAIN. I'm doin' good aren't i?!? Sunday is here, and so is my work day. Yes, that's right...I worked on Sunday in order to go to Astroworld with the Salinas Crew and Co. on Saturday. Fun stuff!! Same shit...volunteers are there, but they don't do shit, and I don't sit down until about 19:00 or 20:00. After work THIS day, I went immediately home to get ready for school tomorrow. I had to finish up my chemistry lab and check some shit in it. I fell asleep at about 03:00 after watching Eurotrip. THIS IS A GOOD MOVIE!!! MADE ME LAUGH MUCHO!!! GO SEE IT!!! That's pretty much all that happened on Sunday. Monday sucked...chem lab let out early, and I didn't feel like waiting an hour and a half for my next class. No one was picking up there phone, and I didn't have any money to buy a lunch, so I just left. I went to the hospital hoping that my mom didn't eat lunch yet so that she could pay for MY lunch too!!! I'm such a good son, aren't i? Well, it turned out, that she DIDN'T eat lunch, and she DID give me 20 bucks to get me and her some stuff. I love my mom. I bought us lunch, and then I left the hospital at about 14:05. I wanted to go see my old high school teachers, so I took this oppourtunity to do it. I got to Langham at 02:29, RIGHT before the bell rang, so I didn't have to fight stupid high school traffic. So, I take this visiting oppourtunity to ask for money for the JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) walk. I walk around, and it's nice (but weird) to see where you once went to high school. I got 30 bucks from my teachers!!! 20 from Mrs. Attaway and 10 from Mrs. Mitchell!!! Thanks a bunch guys!!! McAdow didn't have his checkbook, so he said come back when he would have it (which i dont know when it will be). When I was walking to my truck, I passed by these students that looked as if they were really young. In fact, they were. They stopped me and they were like, "do you drive?" Being the guy that fears NO ONE, i stop and say, "yeah". They pretty much BEG for a ride home, because some shit like they missed the bus, and they had to babysit their 1 and 2 year old siblings. So, being the NICE guy I am, I say yes to them. So, while we're walking to my truck, I ask them what grade they're in. One says, "I'm a sophomore and they're freshman...you're a senior, huh?" I respond back, "juinor" she says, "oh" "...in college" I add to it. So, they ask me all about college and that shit, and I took them home! I'm too nice sometimes. I go home, and then meet up with Juan to give him an experiment and Chris' (the original guitarist for II) guitar. After he leaves, I start talking to some people, and TRY to attempt to start studying. My belly aches at this time, and i was craving some meat...and not just meat...GREASY meat. The best kind there is. I see a commercial for Popeye's, so that is what I wanted. I go and get the chicken, and them come back to eat it while watching TV with my sister. At about 19:00, I go upstairs to start studying, except for the fact that I keep falling asleep every FUCKING 20 seconds. So, I decide to take a fifteen minute nap. Too bad for me, that 15 minutes turned into 2 and a half hours. I was woken by my cell phone, and it's Brie. She asks me to help her get into the hospital because someone near to her is dying. So, I tell her that I'll meet her at the hospital. I get up, drive there in the rain, and help her out. I hang around with her until she leaves, and then I start walking around with Stacy. I leave the hospital at 22:45, and it's on the way home AGAIN. When I got home, I started to study IMMEDIATELY until 01:30 (which is when I started updating). Who would have thought that it takes me a fucking HOUR to update my WEEK? I think the readers are getting angry at this ridicuolously long update, but stuff HAS occured. But, I am now done, and I wish you all goodnight. Oh yeah!!! MAN!!! I COMPLETELY forgot to explain the title of this entry. Well, as you all know it, I have talked about a girl named Jaci, who I was hoping to start a little fling with. Well, it turns out, she doesn't want a relationship with me because it scares her that I have these four diseases. She doesn't wanna get too attached to someone who might not be here in a few years. The thing is, I don't like this at all, but I can understand it. It would be different if she didn't go out with me because i was ugly or fat or boring or anything else that i would be able to change. Actually, I would rather have it THAT way then the way it is. But the fact that it's something I can't control keeping her from me really bums me out. It made me think of those days back in '97 or '01. I got it in my head that no one would ever want to date me because of my illnesses. I thought that no one would love me because I have too many "risks". I was scared to get close to someone, because if something WERE to happen to me, it would make them feel extremely sad. Those thoughts were gone for a while, but this just like put them back in. I'll get over this shit like I always do, but I hate it whenever it happens. I hope you all have an excellent day/night/morning/pass out. NIGHTERS!!! Website: JDRF WALK!!!!!! - This is a site for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, and it would be AWESOME if you contributed!!! Even a little would help!!! ShoUt out: ME!!! - I did a lot today for my friends and strangers!!! I'm allowed to give myself a shout out, right? current mood: Right now, bummed from my diseases, but it will relatively soon. current music: Sugarcult - Bouncin' off the Walls Current Word/Phrase of the Day: "BIZARRO" ~hotpinkchick512 Comments Tuesday, September 28th, 2004 21:00 - Parents are back...and so is going to school and studying Well hey everybody!!! As you all may know it, my parents were out of town for an entire week, and i must say...there were happenings happeNINGS HAPPENINGS!!! Not too many, but enough to entertain me for a while. I last updated that Sunday, after the party... Well, all of Sunday, I pretty much cleaned up and did shit around the house that I had to take care of. Ah yes...MONDAY was here. I woke up on Monday at about 09:30 ready to to my chemistry 2 lab (little would i know this is one of the only classes i attended this week. I got out of lab, and then went home (without going to chemistry 2 lecture (stupid me i know). On Monday night I um hung out with Mike i think. We just hung around and drank some brewskies while watching The Simpsons. I passed out at God's knows what time, and I woke up at about 11:20 (late for my Speech class). So I just went to sleep, and then woke up again at about 15:00 or 15:30 (late for my Microbiology class) so I decided not to go up there for one fucking class...not worth my time nor my gas money. I didn't do anything that night. My sister was not home this night, so I invited a few friends over (Brie, Juan, Michael, Brian, Karla, Lauren Kay, etc.) just to chill (and record some voicemail messages with my beautiful piano skills. Call either Michael's or my cell phone to hear 'em!!! On Wednesday (my sleep in day) I woke at 1300 and didn't feel like going to school so i didn't. Eh...it's my fault that I didn't want or choose to go. So I just hung around the house...i think. Dammit...why can't I remember what the fuck i did. All this drinking is affecting my brain. Actually, I haven't been drinking a lot when I AM drinking. I haven't been drunk in a long time. I didn't even get drunk ONCE while my parents weren't here. I got pretty buzzed, but not drunk. I know...surprising. Thursday was here, and it was time for speech/ greek teacher day. So, i skipped...until my Statistics class (test). So, the test consisted of four questions, and i KNEW how to do two of them, but the other two i semi-knew what the hell was going on. I know...it's bad, but it's over. After the test, it was time to for work and then chillin' at the house with Mike, Lauren Kay, and Karla. Friday was a day of being off work and taking a test (chemistry 2). I thnk it's so stupid that I signed up for a Monday/Wednesday class and I get stuck with this test on Friday shit?!?! IT'S RIDICULOUS!!! Well, I took my test, and I think i did O.K. (hoping in anxiety). Well, after the test, I just had another get together!!! With a FEW more people that I wanted. But it was ok. Night full of watching people getting drunk. Not just drunk...DRUNK drunk. I cleaned up just a shade under 06:30. I went to work at 15:00 that night, and stayed until 23:00. After work, I went to get some Starbucks with Brie and Jaci (some of my new friends). They're both way cool, but I kinda have a thing for Jaci. Brie is trying her hardest to play matchmaker, because Jaci seems interested in me too. YAY for being me!!! After going to Starbucks, i went to Denny's with Andy and Meracio. After chillin' around for about 10-15 minutes, I just HAD to leave. Nothing against the people I was there, but the place was filled with fucking Cy-Springs band people, and I just felt SO out of place with being 21 AND a Langham Creek Lobo Alumni. I went to Lauren Kay's after Denny's that night, and watched Mean Girls with her and Mike. We both left after that, and went home. Now this week, I vowed to myself that I wouldn't miss a class this week, and I planned to stay true to that. So I went to school on Monday (Chemistry 2 Lab and Lecture). After class, I went to Emily's to give her her cooler and beer bottles (she collects them). After that, I went home and went eating with my parents at Los Cucos!!! Shout outs to Christina Salinas and the Los Cucos crew!!! While at Los Cucos, we ran into David and Jackie!!! Props go out to David for getting a promotion!!! MANAGEMENT IS GREAT!!! After Los Cucos, there was a little tiff between my father and I about my debt. Let's just NOT talk about that. I passed out for about 2 hours, and then woke up to read some Micro. This morning i woke up at 09:30, and had to RUSH to get to class. BUT i DID go. I got home and watched Heavyweights (Ben Stiller!!!) I then went to class once again. I actually went!!! Slept all through Microbilogy, because i can't understand a word that is coming out of his mouth. I went to Statistics after that, and then went home. And now i'm updating. GOOD BYE!!! Website: CHEESE STICKS!!!!!! - These are probably the best things to eat ALWAYS!!! ShoUt out: Jacquelynn L McKee - Hope that start hangin' out more!!! current mood: Good mood...school at 14:30 tomorrow, and that's all!!! current music: Chevelle - Vitamin D Current Word/Phrase of the Day: "It means that you're a sex pistol and i think you're hot" ~Brieanna Michelle Chambers Comments Sunday, September 19th, 2004 18:00 - KA-RAZY PARTY WEEK!!! Wow...what an eventful past few days...not really, but i can dream right? Well, on Wednesday I went to class at 1430 and fell asleep once again. This teacher doesn't really know how to teach, and he makes mistakes, and his handwriting is too small. I'm understanding the material though...I THINK. It's Cbemistry II, and it's only an hour and a half, and it's my only class on Wednesdays. So, when I was let out at about 16:00, there was SO MUCH traffic, and that didn't really go well with me. That night I um hung out at Lauren Kay's with Mike and the other various people that were there such as Karla and Lise. Funny story...not really story, but thing: my dad comes home from work at about 21:00 with a six pack of Newcastle Ale and says, "I'm on vacation!" Mike says, "you gonna start that right now?" He says, "i will in a few minutes" So, while we're waiting for Lauren Kay's call to go over there, Mike starts out early and downs four beers in like 45 minutes. I only help myself to two. We get downstairs to say bye to my dad because he was leaving in the morning to go to Delaware, and all the beers are already gone. I have an extra two Saint Arnold's CRAPPY ASS Octoberfest beer, and he downs that one right in front of me and mike. It took my dad less than an hour to finish 8 beers, and i think he went out to get more. I've just realized that this must be a tradition for my dad to get plastered the night before his 0800 flight. It's happened the past like EVERYtime. Oh well, he's not an alcoholic...he's a professional drinker. So, I get back home at like 0330, and notice another two bass ales there, so i KNOW he went back out to get more beer. I pass out in my bed for class at 10:00. FUN!!! YES, I got up for my class, and YES, i stayed awake most of the time. I went back home after i went to speech, because there's a big two hour gap between the time i get home and the time i have to leave for UH. I wanted to skip SO BAD that day, but i decided not to, because i need to learn things from my Greek professors that I can't even understand. So, I went to class, and then went to work. After work, I went to Lauren Kay's (our usual Thursday nght hang out place). I was off the walls that night, and the alcohol didn't help...well, it made me more off the wall, but I'm a good mood, funny drunk. It was just me, Mike, and Lauren hangin' out, watching TV. There was another drunken catch phrase that was created that night, but I don't really remember it. OH WEL...i'm sure SOMEONE does. Lise, Bentley, and Josh joined us, but we left pretty soon after they got there, because they passed out after we went to get some grub. I went home and passed out...ONCE AGAIN. Friday was here, and I had work at 1300, which I didn't show until 1330. I was watching a movie called, uhhhh, I Love Trouble with Julia Roberts and Nick Nolte. I enjoyed it, and that's why i was late for work. I was courier SLASH bedfinder, and these are the days that I hate the MOST. I hate those nurses that think that I'm there JUST FOR THEM, and that I'll do ANYTHING if they ask. Well, I AM diabetic, and i AM good courier. So, if they wanna ask me to take a break from my dinner break to get them a damn pump, they're stupid. I mean who does that? When they're on their break, a patient could be dying, and she or he would expect someone else to take care of it. Nurses are so selfish sometimes. Not all of them, but there are a little more than a few. I didn't do ANYTHING after work that day, mainly because i was so damn tired. PLUS I had to take my mom to the airport early EARLY that next day. On the way home, I started to feel REALLY low, and I had to pull over at a gas station to buy some candy stuff until my blood sugar regulated again. I got home at like 23:45-23:55, and said good night to my mom. Later that night, I realized that there was a bottle of wine in the garbage that wasn't there earlier in the morning. I guess my parent share the same tradition. I stayed up for a LITTLE BIT, watching Sister Act 2. I don't know what it was, and I dont know why it happened, but I was getting REALLY emotional at the end. I even sheded a few tears it was so bad. I only caught the last 45 minutes too!!! I guess I'm a sap at heart. So, I can say that the only movies that have made me cry are 1. Patch Adams 2. Life as a House 3. Sister Act 2 4. Envy <--that movie was just SO BAD!!! Hahaha...thanks for that one, Lauren Kay. I fell asleep at 02:30 and woke up at 05:30 to bring my mom to the airport. Well, I let HER drive there and I had to drive back. Since it was so early, I didn't want to go back home and then leave for work again at 10:15. I decided to work 07:00-19:00, so I could get ready for my party also. OH YEAH!!! My party was scheduled for this evening at 22:00-23:00. I got off at 19:15, and I IMMEDIATELY hit the stores for the best deals on everything... 1. Spec's for Tequila, Vodka, Hot Damn, and a random ass beer (Abita Beer: Purple Haze <--it's a raspberry wheat beer) 2. Randalls for the best deal on a 20 pack of Miller Light (12 bucks!!!) 3. Wal-Mart for cheapest Totino's Pizza (83 cents!!!) 4. H-E-B for the cheapest drink mixes (99 cents for strawberry daquiri and 53 cents for limades!!!) & dos Equis VIP beer 5. Krogers for bags of ice (1.25 for a 7 lb. bag!!!) So, after I was all completed getting all the shit for my party, it was about 21:15, and i had to clean the house up so that nothing that could be broken was out in the scheme of things. At about 22:00-22:30 Brie adn her friend Jaci came. They're both real cool, and we decided that we should hang out more. Oh...Brie is one of my best friend's fiancee (Chris Pratho, who is in the Air Force). Well, we started the night off with shots...tequila and Hot Damn. I got pretty toasty before anybody else got here, and the party had begun. Juan and his Cy-Springs crew came soon after, more GAP people appeared, the salinas kids & co. were here, hospital people were here, and other various people came too. I didn't know a lot of them, but it's been worse than that. The party FINALLY died down at about 04:30 or so. This is when everyone left. I turned off the music, and all the lights, and i just sat down next to my piano and played in the dark for about 30-45 minutes to relax myself a little bit. If you can play in the dark, it's a lot of fun...especially when you're buzzin'. Well, I got to bed at 05:15, and watched a few episodes of the Simpsons before i passed out from being tired. Remember I only had 3 hours of sleep the night before and a 12 hour day of being courier. I was fucking tired as shit. I woke up this morning...or this afternoon at about 15:45, and looked around and realized that I didn't clean ANYTHING last night. I had to make my rounds around the house and pick up any beer bottles or cans that I found. Cleaning up tok me about an hour to an hour and a half. The only thing that is still there are the numerous red marks on the kitchen counter, which I plan to clean later tonight. The kitchen floor is also hella sticky. Showering went on after the cleaning, and now here I am, updating my RadkeJournal while listening to LOUD ASS MUSIC. So, that's about it for me!!! You all have a wonderful day!!! Website: Oxiclean!!! - I REALLY need this shit right now ShoUt out: Lauren Kay - I hope Sadie is doing better. current mood: Regretting not cleaning up mixed drink spills RIGHT when they happened. current music: Inactive Ignornace - The Pain of Freedom Current Word/Phrase of the Day: "Beer...the Cause AND Solution to life's problems" ~Homer Jay Simpson Comments Wednesday, September 15th, 2004 02:29 - Randomness, Volume DOKKEL: The new car Taste So, it's been another few days, and LOOK!!! I'm actually updating again!!! HAZA!!! Well, it hasn't been an exciting four days, but it's been four days, AND...something has been created in these past four days. What has happened will be discussed later, when I discuss it. Well, let's see...the rest of wednesday, i pretty much did NOTHING. I went to class at 14:30, and then I took a pit stop at the hospital to chat with some friends of mine (Emily, James, Stacy, EVERYONE, et cetera). After stopping at el hopital, I came back home to um, came back to uh...dammit I can't remember!!! Oh well. I know what I did on Thursday though!!! I went to all my classes, and after I got out of school at 17:30, I stopped at Lauren Kay's to get her Elementary Math Modeling book, so I can review it at home before I start tutoring Lauren Kay. OH YEAH!!! I'M A TUTOR NOW!!! I think I'm pretty good in math, since I DID make it through Calculus II with a B. *PAT MY SELF ON THE BACK...BUT NOT TOO MUCH...BECAUSE I GOT A 'B'...NOT AN 'A'.* After working with Stacy and trying to getting Chelsa's FUCKING calculator to stay on, I went back to Lauren's to start up the tutoring. Well, Mike picked up some Heineken & Heineken Dark lager when he went there at 2200. If you remember, I get off at 2300. So, when I got to Lauren's, Mike was already buzzing pretty hard, and we got on the books right away. As I was trying to explain math to Lauren, Mike kept on coming in an putting in his two cents. The more he drank, the more cents he put in. Ultimately, we didn't really get anything done. Mike was being funny, and I was drinking a little too. It was pretty fun I might say. So, Friday was here, and I had to work at 1300-2300, but you can't really do that if you wake up at 1245. So, I arrived at work at about 1355-1405, and did my round. First round, and then helping mom with stuff bringing to her car, and then second round, and then helping James with HCC stuff, and then doing second report, and then "helping" James with the rounds, and then clocking out. Notice it doesn't say ANYWHERE in that whole speil, "studying." Yeah...Fridays are the days where I shouldn't worry about anything and get caught up with the week with my studies. And you might have noticed the word "helping" is in quotations. This is so, because I was actually, just being courier for James. As he walked around doing SHIT. But enough of that. I don't wanna get start on James right now. He's my only filipino boy, but he ain't all there right now. After work, I went back to Lauren's...AGAIN. Just to chill though with Karla, Sergio, Yatanya, and Lauren Kay. Lise, Bentley, and Josh joined us a little bit after I got there. I was making my drinks as well as trying to explain more math to Lauren Kay. Get this...I ONLY HAD TWO BEERS...IN THE COURSE OF THREE HOURS!!! Sergio got pretty drunk though. I had fun. When Karla, Sergio, and Yatanya left, Lauren and Josh also left to get some cigs. So, I was in the apartment with Lise and Bentley in her room. I see this thing on the coffee table that says "Cutex," and being stupid old Jonathan, I unscrew it and take a BIG WHIF of it to see what it is. To my surprise, IT'S NAIL POLISH REMOVER!!! I get a little buzz off the fucking remover. It sort of took me back to the Brasso days in the drum room in high school...good times, huh Pratho-->"I CAN FEEL MY BRAIN CELLS DYING!!!" Ahhhh...good times. Well, that little nail polish buzz went away in like 10 minutes, and then soon enough, I was out the door...SOBER. I came home, and passed out after watching an episode of The Simpsons. So, Saturday morning wasn't really a morning after all. I was SUPPOSE to work from 1100-2300, BUT waking up at 1115 doesn't really accomplish that. All day, I was courier, got food for me, Emily, and Jason, and then came, well, HOME!!! OH!!! I also made the third randomness cartoon, with a cameo by a very pretty lady. CHECK IT OUT!!! Just click HERE to check out. Oh...it will be the current link also. Next. WHAT AN ABRUPT ENDING!!! Website: Randomness, Volume DOKKEL: The new car Taste!!! - The third randomness cartoon!!! ShoUt out: Matt Muskiet - No matter how long we go without talking, we can pick it up where ever we left off!!! Best Friends ROCK!!! current mood: Surprised that I didn't drink anything tonight!!! current music: 311 - Come Original Current Word/Phrase of the Day: This one is a NAME...MAKAZOOLi (lauren Kay's MADE UP middle name) ~made up by me, Jonathan Robert Radke Comments Wednesday, September 8th, 2004 12:04 - This madness must STOP!!! WOWSISES PEOPLE!!! This might have been the LONGEST time I have ever gone without updating the ole journal!!! I mean, I went an ENTIRE month not doing this. Well, the sad truth is, is that I have been having way too much fun over the summ, being 21 and all. There are times where I wish I hadn't turned it (like when I have negative 45 dollars in my checking account because of beer buys. Oh well...it's just a phase...I HOPE. Well, to be completely honest, I really don't remember what I have done over this 1-2 month hiatus, and there fore, this update will not be chronilogically correct in any way. So, her it goes!!! The last time I updated, I was still trying to patch things up with Ashley, and I'm proud to say, that things are back to normal, and it's all cool between us. I'm glad that we resolved our problems and are able to hang out again with no resentment. Basically, throughout the summer I stayed out late hanging out at different places: Emily's apartment, Lauren Kay's apartment, the salinas house, Michael's house, or Slick Willies (290 & Hollister<--WE GET A HOOK UP THERE SO OUR UNDERAGERS CAN DRINK!!! THANKS JENNIFER!!!). I was working too on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, earning some extra cash for beer and food, the two necessities of life. Now, I can't think of any milestone of the past month other than getting four forteen years old drunk...oops i mean, getting four people drunk. hehe. yeah. Johnny and Emily are still doin' good, and we're just waiting for him to come for thanksgiving, so that we can all hang out one more time. I started putting her pictures up, and HERE they are!!! I have gotten to the last straw with my fucking CD burner. I mean, I can burn one CD just fine, and then the next one I put in ALWAYS errors. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Then the next one i try after that completes without any errors!!! My burner is a tard, and some day I will put it out of its misery. Aside from going out and working, there has been pretty much nothing going on in the life or Radke. Inactive Ignorance is practicing again (Tuesday nights @ 21:30<--COME IF YOU WANNA LISTEN TO US SQUEEZE OUT A SONG!!! We could actually get pretty good, but for right now, we're just jammin' what we got (Glass, The Pain of Freedom, and Goo Goo Dolls - Iris). Well, as you all know, SCHOOL has started, and I'M BACK AT THE UNIVERSITY OF HOUSTON WITH MIKE, LAUREN KAY, JUAN, AND A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE I DO NOT KNOW!!! HOORAY!!! I'm also taking ONE class at Cy-Fair still (all of those classes were taken at UH) Here is my schedule: Chemistry II Lab M - 1100-1400 Chemistry II Lecture MW - 1430-1600 Speech (@ Cy-Fair) TTh - 1000-1120 Microbiology TTh - 1430-1600 Statistics TTh - 1600-1730 There it is!!! MY SCHEDULE!!! So, no one call me at those hours. PLEASE!!! Well, Johnny left back to Chicago on July 27th, and it's been cool without him, but there is always something missing when we all go and hang out now. He'll be living here in a year, so it's all good. The only reason I remember that date, is because that day is Ashley's birthday, and DID we get drunk at that party. Oh yeah!!! I got my truck back, looking sharper than ever. Don't you love it when you get your vehicle back, and the entire inside is all armor alled up? IT'S THE GREATEST!!! It's been running fine, except for the gas gauge is kinda fucked up. Oh well...beggers can be choosers. So, school is going ok, and I'm hoping that I don't get any C's this semester, so keep your fingers crossed for ole Jonathan Radke!!! Ya know what? I really have nothing else to say, but if you guys or girls remember ANYTHING that has happened to me since the last entry, don't hesitate to tell me (I'm VERY forgettful). I forgot something!!! I'm currently working on my Third Randomness Cartoon..."Randomness, Volume Dokkel: The New Car Taste." Hopefully, it will be up before the next month. ALRIGHTY RADKEFANS!!! THIS IS THE END OF THE ENTRY!!! Website: 3gupload.com!!! - Download FREE ringtones!!! ShoUt out: Karla Johnson - Thanks for always being the one to eat with when we're drunkenly hanging out!!! current mood: Relieved that I FINALLY updated this thing current music: Shinedown - 45 Current Word/Phrase of the Day: Father: Son, what's wrong? Son: I wanna drink goat's blood!!! Father: But son, it's only Tuesday!!! Son: Arghhhh....... *sound of vacuum cleaner in back ground ~REJECTED Comments Monday, July 12th, 2004 22:40 - APOLOGY I'de like to take this oppourtunity to adress a certain someone named Ashley regarding my update two times ago... I wrote those things because I was upset at the time, and I had to let them out...somehow. In our casual conversation online, some things were said on my part that you thought shouldn't have, but like I told you, those weren't meant to be condescending towards you. Just making small talk like how we use to. I would apologize a million times if you were willing to take the time to listen to them all. This is my apology right now, and if you don't accept it, then that's your own choice. But I do hope you do... I'm sorry Ashley Nicole Alderman for saying things resulting in you being resentful towards me. That was the last thing on my mind when I wrote what it was that I wrote. I just would like things to be like they were pre-dating. Be like, "I like sausage" days at Denny's...or "triflin' hoe biotch" days at the Taco Shop...or the "check your blood sugar" days at the Astros game. Those days were great, and I would love to make more of them. I hope you accept this apology, and I hope you have a great life if you don't. Thank you. ~End Entry Monday, July 12th, 2004 02:08 - Jonathan Radke: Happy Camper Hey everyone!!! The date is Monday!!! July the twelvth (<--did NOT spell right), 2004!!! If you don't know that, you can look at the date on this entry...ya freakin' retards. This past week has been ok...that Thursday was kinda shaky, thinking about the previous night, but that was expected out of me. After I got off work, I went to go see my friend Sam Medley model her hair and outfit at ToC Bar. She's real pretty, and it was fun seeing her up there. After the club, we went back to Mike's (it was me, Johnny, and Mike that went to ToC), after making a pit stop at Wal-Mart for some beer. We watched Wayne's World 1 & 2 that night, and then I passed out in my bed at like 04:00. Friday kinda sucked at work, but some things were said to me by some close friends, and I was feeling better when I was getting off work. Actually after work, Me, Johnny, Andrew, Michael, Emily, and Emily's brother, Brandon went CAMPING!!! Yeah!!! It was actually sort of fun...before leaving for the actual camp site, we made a stop at Kroger to buy plenty of food and other shit including a Gazebo and lighter fluid. We FINALLY left to the camp site at about 23:30, and didn't get there until like 02:30-03:00. When we first got there, it was all dark, and us in the Frontier, were just blindly following Emily in her little Kia. This was kinda creepy but we got through it once we got camp set up and shit. We were FINALLY set up at like 04:30-05:00. Me, Michael, and Brandon put a dent in the 40 beers we bought, and got pretty trashed, chillin' and talkin' by the fire. Me and Michael had like 9-10 beers each while Brandon had only like 4-5. We watched the sun rise, and then it was off to bed. We slept from 06:30-09:30. After being crutially awoken by the sun beaming its ultra-violet rays on us, we got up and put together the Gazebo that paid off later (i'll get there in no time). When Michael and I woke up, we were still drunk, and it was not good. It's a lot different going to sleep drunk than waking up drunk. We ate breakfast (egg, sausage, adn bacon toquitos that Emily made on our camp fire), and then it was time to chill. We just sat around the fire talking and shit. We went into town to buy stuff like playing cards, ice, and more beer (a 12 pack of long necks). When we returned, we sat around the fire, and then it started to sprinkle. THANK GOD for the Gazebo. We went under the Gazebo, and started playing games like bullshit (i won BOTH games), poker, and blackjack. After we got tired of that, and it was clear outside, we started throwing around the football and baseball. We did that for about an hour to and hour and a half, and then rested before having to go to Emily's cousin's for dinner. We left for their house, and we were there in minutes. MAN OH MAN...the BEST briskett of my life was there. If there was a way I could have made love to that meat without it being weird and freaky, I woul DEFINENTLY do it. So juicy and tender...so mouth watering pleasurable...so salivary glands in overdrive delightful...SO GOOD. We stuck at that house until like 23:00 listening to me play piano and watching TV, and then it was back to the camp site. Our fire was still going, but not as good as earlier, so Mike and I went to get more firewood. We started the beer-sca-pade again, but something happened at the EXACT same time as Emily, Brandon, and Johnny went back to her cousin's house for something. My blood sugar started to drop. Drop fast it did. The only problem was that there was no quickk acting sugar to raise it. They were in Emily's car, and that's which car they used. So I couldn't drink anymore, and I passed out in my tent until they arrived again. I gulped down a bottle of Coca-cola, and in like 15 minutes, I was back to my normal self...and DRINK I DID. Emily's dad came over later to chill out, and drink beer with us. We finished the rest of the beer this night PLUS three cans of Miller Lite Emily's dad gave us. We crashed in our tent again, and I awoke by someone taking a picture of me (I still don't know who took it, but I have a pretty good idea.) That night, we got more sleep than the previous one, which was GOOD. I got up, and looked at my pump clock...it was 09:30. I was up, Johnny was up, and Emily was up. We started to pack up our shit while listening to music. I thought I would start off the cleaning music with The Goat Song by Adam Sandler. Good song. We were done cleaning up at like 10:30, and then it was back into town for breakfast for a place called The Doll House. Excellent breakfast food...that place reminded me of a small little coffee shop with regulars and shit like that. It was really homey (Homey as in like it felt like a home...not like "wassup homie!!!").After going around the town with Emily and her dad, we FINALLY left for Houston at like 13:30-13:45. Stopped by at Whataburger, and then came home. The rest of the day, I went home, took a shower, put my clothes on, and got zonked out for two hours until 19:30. Thalamus had a play date at 21:00 at my house, and we all were here when we said we would be (which is NOT normal). Me, Juan, and Andrew is what is comprised in Thalamus. We went to Brian's to show Andrew what he has to be like (just kidding Drew). We went to bounce off ideas and chill out. So, it was back to my home to do my laundry and fall asleep...oh yeah...and to update RJ. Well, that's all for my update!!! If I forgot something, it probably wasn't worth talking about!!! KADOOSE!!! Website: Kolh's Website - I bought two shirts from here on Wednesday!!! ShoUt out: The three people that have taken me to work since the accident. Oh shit I didn't talk about the accident...I'll talk about that later. Melissa Joy Johnson, Juan Homberto Martinez, and Kristina Jayne Radke. THANKS GUYS!!! current mood: a WHOLE lot better than last time, that's for sure current music: Adam Sandler - The Goat Song Current Word/Phrase of the Day: "Why did I drink all that beer, and coffee, and watermelon" ~Homer Simpson (4th season) Comments Thursday, July 8th, 2004 02:33 - I know it will pass, but right now, I am REALLY hating my life Life is a bitch, and I seem to experience this more than I think I should. I have bad luck with every part of my life except my family and friends. I'm not physically atractive, i'm not very smart, i've been hit with the disease stick 4 times causing a lot of pain, and the relationship part of my life is pathetic. Right now, I'm REALLY wishin' I wasn't me. As you can tell, once again, my "love life" has ended, and I have been hit hard. I was told she wasn't in it for a long term relationship by her, but I stayed in denial...over and over again. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I set myself up to get hurt? Why the FUCK do I act like me? I'm just one big mistake that needs to live in a box without having any contact with the outside world. Another thing is that I recently got into a little fender bender with a 93 Toyota Tercel, and my parents keep riding me with that. I also have a mother that is constantly on my ass about reading a fucking pharmacy book that puts me to sleep, and my dad is riding me about money. When does this shit end? When do I get my time? I know I'm only 21, but for only living only twenty-one years, I've experienced a whole lot. I even bought her a birthday gift, and I'm still gonna give it to her, because i DO still care about her, and i DO still have feelings. I wish it was easier to just stop those emotions I had, but the thing is, I'M HUMAN. I'm Jonathan Radke...the guy that makes a habit out of getting hurt. I dunno what I'm thinking...it's the same way I felt after me and Emily broke up. What's wrong with me? Why can't someone actually think about being wit me more than a month? Why is it that those certain people get bored with me so fast? Is it my NINTENDO? Is it my DIABETES? Is it my "grasp of understanding"? I JUST DON'T FUCKING KNOW. All that I know is that right now, I'm hurt, and right now, I'm sad. All my friends being supportive telling me, "don't let it get to you"...I'm glad I have friends to watch my back like that and help me through my tough times. But this journal is where I really let loose. This is where I vent all my problems. This is the real me...so, I go hang out at Michael'searlier today, and I haven't seen Ashley since Saturday when we saw the Astros. Well, I start to miss her, and all I wanted to do that night was see her and spend some time with her. Well, there was a problem right there already...Ashley was irritated about some dialog mix-up that occured, and I place most of the blame on me for not taking the matter into my own hands. It was my fault this friend called Ashley, and it was my fault she was irritated by it. I irritated her. If I knew there was ANY WAY this would come back to bite her in the ass, I would have taken care of it earlier. But no...I tried to ignore and it with hopes of it just blowing over. I'm stupid...those things just don't happen. At about 11:15-11:30, I receive a call from Ashley, saying that we need to talk about something. I knew what it was the second I heard her say that, so I tried to get myself ready for it. Today's drinking day was not a very cheery drinking day. I didn't enjoy myself because I was stressin' about Ashley the entire time. I could enjoy myself because I knew it was gonna happen since she has been getting more and more distant lately, not talking to me as much, sounding like I irritate her (although I know that was just me over think it). So it happened, and I was just really depressed. There's really nothing more to say other than I still like her, but she can't return the favor so it's for the best. As much as I despise saying that, it's true. So now, I'll go weep myself to sleep, because this is what I do after I put so much more into feelings than the other person. I guess I'm just not a "catch." I guess I really have nothing to offer to anyone. All my diseases, and a great relationship history to go with that. Dammit I hate being me. Good night. No more connection for me. P.S.: If this entry is a little too dramatic for some *cough* *cough* then deal with it...this is how I am. If this makes me creepy, then so be it. But it has to be said...or written. GOOD NIGHT. Oh yeah...i'm 21 now...woo hoo. Website: who the fuck cares...no one looks at these anyway ShoUt out: My spleen - For knowing what to do from early on...getting the fuck away from me. current mood: Depressed, Melacholy, just plain sad current music: Thalamus - Glass (I guess we know how it ends now) Current Word/Phrase of the Day: "...the..." ~someone, some time, some where Comments Thursday, June 10th, 2004 02:47 - Who are we? Hey all your Radkians out there (the four or five of ya)!!! I haven't been keeping my promise of updating everyday, mainly because I either go to Juan's to practice, and get home too late, or I stay out late, enjoyin' my youth. So, here I am, updating you on the past week and a half if I can remember everything that happened. Well, I have to start out by saying, that that little "funk" I went into was yet, another day-temporary episode. I wish I could remember what I did on that wednesday, but I can't...oh i know...I'll just check up on Ashley's Xanga, because it's all been about the taco shop crew this past week. People, I'm really getting a blank page when I'm attempting to think of what I did on this Wednesday (the 2nd). Geeze this is bothering me. Well, FUCK IT...i'll just write about what we did on Wednesday night. Wednesday night, OH SHIT!!! I just remember what I did on Wednesday...Wednesday morning or like middle afternoon (when I got up and out of my house), I went to go get my inspection done at the inspection place. The only problem about getting this inspection done was that it didn't pass. Suddenly, out of no where, the check engine light comes on...not when I drove it, but right when the guy started it up. When the check engine light is on, it automatically fails and you have to get a print out that costs ten dollars that tells you what the fuck is wrong with it. So, my day had already started out kinda crappy. After that disappointment, I headed to cingular to see if I could get another cell phone because mine didn't even work (no reception...ANYWHERE). Well, as it turns out, I haven't had my phone for 21 monthes, so I would have to pay full price for any phone instead of getting a replacement phone. Complete BULLSHIT. I mean, if your phone doesn't work, shouldn't the company supply you with a new one not for free, but cheap enough to afford. 100 bucks is just not in my budget right now. So, that angered me some more, and this day had already had two wooden spoon smacks to its ass. I call my mom and bitch about my cell phone problems, and ask her if I could use theirs (my old one). But, as luck would have it, my dad was fishing all day with it, and he wasn't picking up his phone...BECAUSE THEY LEAVE IT OFF ALL THE TIME. it sort of gets annoying, but hey...they're old fogies...they don't need a cell phone. Their motto is, "if it's an emergency, page us...then we'll call you back." So, I'm still pissed about the phone/inspection, and I head over to the Salinas house to ask Christina if she had an old cingular phone that i could use temporarily until May 2005. No luck. I bitched out my problems to them also (Christina, Andrew, and Vince). After the Salinas scene, I get back into my truck, and head back home to call our mechanic to see if he could fix my problem, and maybe chill with Ashley since I would have been on that side of town. Well it turns, that the only thing wrong with my truck was that this one thing wasn't plugged in, and all the mechanic said was, "you see this wire here? it goes here" and he plugged it in. He told me to drive it around for a little bit so that the computer could check out all of it, and I would be fine. So, I give Ashley a call (or text), and she was watching a movie with her friend Brian and other various GAP people. I thought I might as well see if I can kill some time here so that my chances of chillin' would be greater. So I went to Hollywood video and checked out the games and shit, and then I went to Kroger, just to walk around. Those chicken legs just looked so good, that I had to buy two. But I needed some carbs, so I bought a loaf of bread (that's STILL in my truck) also. I munch down on the chicken and bread in the krogers parking lot, and then I realized that Ashley wouldn't get back in the next 30 minutes (she was in rush hour traffic from downtown) so I just headed home. A little disappointing, but still fine. Oh...I went to Walgreens too to buy a coke. During this whole time of driving up and down Mason, I was looking for another cingular store to see if what they say is any different than the one close to me says. I finally find one right now Mason and I-10, but it was no luck...they wanted me to either take my phone to a service station on NASA Rd. # 1, or buy a phone a full price (nothing cheaper than $100). So I'm still like, "fuck it" with the whole phone thing, and I start asking everyone if they have an old cingular phone. When i got home, I decided that i should do something nice for my dad since he's been taking out the garbage lately. So, I MOW THE YARD. Yeah I know...ME...mowing...thought it would have never hapened, huh. Well, it did so BACK OFF!!!(<--classic Billy Madison quote). That night, I went to chill with David for a little bit, before we went to buy some drinks. He's really been having a tough time with his new baby girl, and I felt kinda bad asking him to do this for me. I went to Juan's after that, and chilled out with him for a little bit, but not too long becasue he had to study for a test. We "left" Juan's at about 23:15-23:30 but only to drink in front of his house, in my truck bed. At about 00:20-00:30, we leave to go to Alan's driveway and get even more drunk because we didn't want Juan's dad to find us in front of his house, boozin' it up. We finally make it to Alan's after spending too much time at a STOP sign...all for looking for a damn radio station for the next ten seconds in her car. Although it was confusing to me why they were taking so long, later when I found out, I laughed. There was even a guy that went around both of us at the STOP sign. There are just too many assholes on the road these days. Well we arrived at Alan's and, we're all feeling pretty toasty. We hang out there until like 02:30-03:00 talking about political stuff. I wish I had more things to talk about it other than, "our president is George Bush." I've never really been interested in politics or anything like that, but I should try to keep up since I AM part of the voting population and all. We say bye, and then it's off to home with me (with the extras). I come home, and pass out on my bed from being "tired." The next day has arrived, and I have to be at work...YAY.it's a bedfinder only day though...THANK GOD. Work goes good, and I'm home by 21:00 to get ready for Bar Houston with Ashley, Lauren Kay, Juan, and Alan. I looked all spiff, and stuff, and guess what?!?! NO NINTENDO!!! Someone should have taken a picture of us guys dressed all "pimp"-like. Before we entered Bar Houston, we finished off the remaining beers and malt liquors (there were only 9 buds and like two Smirnoff Twisted Raspberry left. We got a pretty good buzz before entering though. I actually had more fun at Bar Houston than I thought I would. I ATTEMPTED to "freak-dance," but I'm sure my whiteness shined through even though nobody said anything...I could tell I was bad. But hey...among friends, right? After Bar, we were all so tired, and we relieved that Lauren kay was driving...THANKS LAUREN KAY!!! I felt like I should have gone to bed right away that night, but I still just stayed up, talking to my various friends. It's this damn habit of staying up late, even when I don't have to. Oh well...summer is upon us. Friday...another work day, but an ok day...full of empty beds and crazy patients. Emily was there, so that made it a little more tolerable. After work, I um, I uhhhh...well SHIT I'm having another brain fart. After work, I THINK I went to Juan's but I'm not so sure. Hmmm...dammit...I can't remember...must have not been important. On Saturday, I woke up late, and did something. I can't really remember that day either. Man...I really should update each day so that I remember what the fuck I did. Oh shit..it's 04:00, and i have work tomorrow. So I'll finish up my updating tomorrow...PROMISE. Website: Countdown - It's getting closer and closer ShoUt out: David Salinas and Jackie - Best of luck to Lilliana...I'm living proof that things will get better current mood: Tired, and dreading work tomorrow current music: Blue october - Calling You Current Word/Phrase of the Day: "ha HA!" ~Juan Martinez while having a sudden understanding of a joke Comments > recent entries > previous 10 entries > next 10 entries > top of page