It was a dark and stormy....afternoon, Blyto and Tobes were wasting time instead of working in tech drawing (as was the attitude of the course) and Tobes was saying how while working at Australia's favourite discount department store, BigW, the shelf technicians were fed up with the late working hours, but were too fatigued to run amuck in protest....Blyto paraphrased this as being "too tired to riot". The two boys looked at each other, and realised that this would make an awesome name for a band...and so it began.
Tobes bagsed the drum work, as he had been hitting anything within reach for years....even without owning a drumkit. The Lanky Good Doctor was acquired to be our bassist, as he was the tallest guy we knew, therefore would have the long arms needed to play the long instrument.
When it was discovered that both of these musicians had absolutely no instruments, it was decided to recruit Oddy, as he had actually played the guitar before, and being a dyslexic living in Kurri Kurri, he would provide the band with an easy target for ridicule, and blue glasses.
The band seemed complete, until we realised that Blyto was left without an instrument. This dilemma was pondered for numerous seconds, and it was decided to hand our half man half wolf a recorder, and jam it up his nose, as it was his second most talented orifice. (customs officers were to realise later what his most talented orifice was...but thats another story)
The band was now a fully fledged quartet. Even though the four boys failed to provide enough combined talent for a solo act, this did not faze them, as they took solace in the fact that Bardot neither played instruments, nor had talent to scratch themselves with. So when pondering fame and fortune, replied with "hey, it worked for bardot"
The band then began churning out the hits like the playdough fun factory. The initial hit "I hate dimensioning (it sux arse)" set the scene, showing that it was much easier to rewrite the lyrics to other peoples songs than to write your own...and that it was easier to rhyme arse with arse, than to think of other words.
While this release received moderate interest, it was the bands later ode to "griffo the maths man" that earned them real acclaim. This song was snapped up by a young diehard fan (Lanky's little sister..) And instantly the band won her heart. This lead to the band being interviewed infront of a year 8 english class, the 30 or so little rockers hanging on the 5 boys (our manager feeno snuck in as well...although as a manager he sux, as he never got us shit, and has since been replaed many a time. I think our current manager is Amber) every word. The best things to come out of this interview were the realisation that we could fool people into thinking we were a real band, Oddy's grimace hat, and the fact that the experience was inspiration for another classic radio hit "the interview".
These 30 instant fans were a mere indication of how the TTTR fanbase was taking over the world...spreading all the way to canada in some cases. This dramatic influence also lead to basketball teams being named in our honour.
The band then took their propaganda one step further, as they blackmailed the touring writer of sain magazine, demanding that the band be put in the next edition under the tour rumours section. While the deal was never sealed.....and confirmation was never given as the boys failed to collect the next edition of the magazine, we'll assume that it went ahead in any case as it looks better on the CV.
But the best marketing exercise was yet to come. With the last day of year 12, came around 60 free tootiredtoriot stickers of various design. These were then distributed, and spread like absolute wildfire. The fans lapped them up, kids we'd never met lapped them up and wore them with pride, even the office ladies placed a signed sticker in the school office, showing their unwavering allegiance.
Along the way the songwriting fun factory continued to exude rocking good tracks, including the ode "butts by name, butts by nature", "oh great! Ill fitting undies" and the ever useful "guys guide to relationships". These musical gems let their powers combine to form the ever incredible debut album "lard factory". If you only buy one album this year...you should probably buy some millencolin because they rock, but if you have any money left over, you should buy lard factory.
That pretty much brings you up to date....except for the 4 or so websites, needing to be replaced every time we refused to pay a damn cent.
In any case, thats the history behind the band, or at least as much as the witness protection agency allowed us to divulge.