*Mrs Warren
*Ivan Milatt
*i told them that my name was habib borsowstokski. he said i didnt look ethnic. i called him a racist and asked him if it was because i was black
* HR Snuffnstuff
*colonel clink
*Queen Elizabeth II, cops didn't believe me, i even went to the trouble to grow a moustache to look just like her.
*Liam Tobin and i used it yesterday so watch out
*eminen
2. What sex are you?
12% girls
12% not sure
12% all of the above
64% guys
3. If you were a porn star, what would your name be?
*Mrs Warren
*buck naked
*kaizer troman or jonny santozo ( that guy should be in the porn industry)
*Greasy Axel Foley
*charlie mavis
*Queen Elizabeth II
*big red rocket
*what do you mean if? In my under world life i am referred to as machine, this is not because i preform like a machine but i have a pump up penis as i find it hard to keep an erection.
4. What type of music do you prefer, Too Tired To Riot or Too Tired To Riot?
*Huge fan of TTTR
*N*sync
*honestly anything by tttr usually does me fine
*Um, that's a hard one... But i'll take (A) Eddie
*tttr, just cos theyre so damn sexy
*The handsome and talented quartet that is Too Tired To Riot
*TTTR is not a type of music as they have yet to create or play any music.
*At the moment nicki webster is my fav.
5. In 10 words or less say why TTTR are the greatest band ever.
*10 words will not be enough to state my love
*coz
*no amount of words can describe the endless amount of talent that those 4 ruggedly handsome chaps posess
*The word sex machine is ambiguous to TTTR
*evry member may eventually b a pornstar
*they're not
*To try and confine such a talented band to 10 words is an insult
*Because of the fans.
6. How much money would you pay a band member to have sex with you?
*top dollar, anything for one of those guys..
*they give it for free, they have no shame, they go all night on a glass of milk
*honestly more interested in band members parents and pets
* Depends if they were as good in the sack as they are a band.
*jeez, u didnt tell me u guys charge now
*get it for free... mates rates
*none i get enough off their mums
*Depending on the member but i wouldn't pay them i would just make them my toy boy and spoil them with all the fruits of the world.
7. What is your fave. TTTR song?
*The one about jocks...i hate jocks! and also that one about running away to the circus, thats cool...
*griffo
*i hate dimensioning
*None stand out-- THEY'RE ALL SO FANTASTIC
*its griffo the maths man, hands down
*Summer and Pluggas
*do u actually have songs??
*The next one, because you can never get enough of tttr.
8. What''s the best way to get rid of an angry rash on someone''s genitals?
*Talk to my mum....(shes a nurse)
*rub it off with other peoples genitals
*i honestly am not sure u should ask dave i believe he has knowledge on such areas
*I dunno but Dave's mum always seems to clear up pretty quick so ask her
*u cood avoid the angry rash completely by steering clear of blyto's mum
*Get a princess to cover her middle left toe in vinegar and stroke it ANTICLOCKWISE around the offending genital
* using a gerbal and a high pressure hose
*Not the least painful way but i once saw a man set his balls on fire because he got a rash of a 45c hooker in L.A.
9. If you could sleep with a TTTR band member, who would it be?
*Dave and i have history...haha
*All of them at once
*oddy ... could there be a sexier man... he so curvaceous
*Dave, so that i could compare him to his mum
*dave
*Odd or blyto, they both got pretty big tits... but tobes is an excellent drummer (wink wink)
*is dave's mum part of the band??
*What do you mean if don;t you remember the other night.
10. How much money would it cost a band member to have sex with you?
*you cant charge an act of love..
*nothing more than about $2000
*i believe we should be able to obtain these sorts of favours for free and at any number of innappropriate times and places
*Depending again
* i dont usually charge, but i dont know tobes so i gess i'd b askin $20
*mates rates..
*why are you asking this?
*nothing i never charge a tttr member.
11. Which band member is likely to wax his whole body?
*hmmmm dunno?
*Blyto, it starts at the ankles, then spreads
*all ive got to say is im half man half wolf (blyto)
*Oddy- in a fit of drunken stupor would do it without question
*blyto
*no idea, but blyto is getting damn hairy these days
*i dont want to know
*I was told that a cermonial wax down happens every time the gang get together.
12. How come you tightarses haven''t bought the first TTTR album, Lard Factory?
*i think the answer lies in the question
*because you tightarses arent worthy of its glory
*as stated above im a tightarse
*Sadly, my local Sanity does not stock it yet but as soon as it does...
*cos dave is a big girl and wont burn me a copy
*I got it
* cause you cant play instruments
* I am the lard factory.
13. Which band member is most likely to have sex with a teletubby?
*ummmm Dave?
*any of them with some common sense
*tobes... sorry mate i had nothing
*Dave, cause he and Tinky Winky both seem the type to carry handbags
*dave
*no idea again, but odd does look like one
*Dave
*None because i sleep with the teletubby's on any day that ends in y, and i have forbidden them to go near any of the tttr members and fans because they are a wild bunch.
14. Which Simpsons character does each member remind you of?
TOBES
*hans moleman (that little old guy that is bald with glasses...kiss him marge! its like kissing a peanut!)
*calls ralph coz he's the best
*otto ?!?
*Principal Skinner
*Mr Burns
*Mr Burns
*apu
*moe
BLYTO
*Milhouse
*maggie (I'm running outta ideas here)
*Moe
*Milhouse
* Barney
*Barney
*ralph
*barney
ODDY
*Troy Maclure
*ghunter (don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate)
*Nelson
*Homer( the fist shaking)
*Nelson
*Nelson
*barney
*karl
DAVE
*Lionel Hutz (he's corrupt and a freeloader!)
*marge (height)
*Mr Burns - ur a schemer
* Troy Mclure (He sleeps with water creatures)
* marge
*Mc Bain
*the tall guy who drove the mini and said "do you find somethiong comical about the way i look when im driving in my automobile"
*lenny
15. What is your fave sesame street character?
*elmo
*elmo
*BERT
*Snuffylupagus
*Snuffylupagus
*Elmo
*kermit the frog
* Big bird cause he would have the biggest, you know
16. Write down where each of the band members will be in 5 years.
Odd
*Giving me directions to J-Lo's party....still
*pimping somewhere
*in rehab
*Gaol
*in kurri, making animal porn
* He and loz will have opened up a pet day care centre
*dead or close to it
* At my house
Blyto
*cult leader
*in rehab
* technicolour spewing expert
*Gaol
*rehab
*Will be in the guiness book of records for the most number of different colour spews in a 24 hour period
*dead or close to it
* At my house
Tobes
*Comedian maybe? hahaha ummm or probs a brain surgeon or maybe just a bum....oh no! he would be a champion on 'pass the buck' cos he knows big words and is scary that way...
*in rehab
*hobo that finds things that sound like drums to whack
*Gaol
*dunno
*Gyno
*dead or close to it
* At my house
Dave
*Organising our year 6 reunion and is under the name of Brett Lynch (theres a fine line between reminiscing and obsession)
*in rehab
*still in yr 12 waiting for a score big enough for his elaborate dreams
*Gaol
*ruling the dark recesses of the underworld
* Rich, handsome, living comfortably off investments
*dead or close to it
* At my house
17. Guess which band member is importing afghans for a healthy profit.
*Dave....i reckon he would do anything for money and they go unnoticed in Telarah cos almost everyone looks like a terrorist, but then again it could be liam cos metford is the same deal...
*Well, it cant be oddy, no one would want to go to kurri
*i dont think its me but i have been recieving strange shaped packages in the mail...
* Dave- cause he's the only one that could fit Jim in certain cavities to evade customs
*must b tobes, i doubt that ne one else in the band is smart enuf to pull this off, and dave is busy with his bootleg cd biz ne ways
*I have no idea, but i'll will find out... i want in on the profit, 2 importers is better than one
*Tobes he looks afghani
*All of them because none of them would be dumb enough not to include everyone as a team.
18. Guess which band member IS an illegal afghan.
*tobes, cos he's dark and looks at people weird, hes upto something
*ME! (Tobes) it explains the tan
*tobes...hes the scrawniest and has darker skin than all ... it all matches up
*Tobes- no question
* blyto
*Odd looks too healthy to be an afghan and so does blyto, but he is hairy like an afghan, i have no idea
*tobes
*Tobes because his dad is to weird to be an aussie.
19. Does your chewing gum lose flavour on the bedpost over night?
*ummmmmm yep, my cat josie steals it
*yes
*yeah, ive worked out that to gain a more flavoursome experience the morning after the night before to stick it behind ur ear!!!
*Nope- its special
*no, cos i swallow it then regurgitate in the morning
*yeah, they should fix that, and have cockroach repellent in it too coz the little buggers always go for it at night and make it taste funny the next day *yes
*I wouldn't know because i get my dogs to lick it every morning to freshen it up.
20. Which band member is most likely to wear frilly undies and a bra?
*does bernard count?
*Blyto
*that manager is looking mighty suss!!!
*Oddy- no question
*blyto
*Both odd and blyto have enough cleavage to wear bras... but again no ideas... there are too many secrets in the band... who wrote this anyway?
*Blyto
*They all do.
*I cant reveal that (but I hear it was dave at oddy's place)
*THE DAMN TIM TAMS... DAVE IT WAS ALL DAVE
*Everyone except Dave for stealing his mum's virginity the second time around
* i neither know nor want to know
*Hang on, i'm calling the others to find out...
*I don't want to know.
22. Which band member spent so long looking at porno that it took the doctors 10 hours just to remove the smile from his face?
*liam..i reckon its always the quiet ones
*Dave
*oddy
*Dave- why else is he so tall but to compensate for what the doctors had to cut off
*oddy
*know this one... has to be blyto, not 100% sure but i reckon it is
*It would have to be dave and the doctors got the operation wrong because he is still smiling.
*Dave
23. Which band member would you most like to be sexually harassed by?
*been there, had that
*Dave
*dave is so tall and well i know he would be keen for it
*Oddy - he'd be rough
*dave does it to me all the time, but only cos he's the tallest
*oooo tobes please
*Dave
*All of them constantly
24. Which band member has done back up vocals for Bardot?
*Oddy, cos he's blonde and curvy
*Oddy
*dave ... hes the gay one
*If any of them do they won't be alive when i find out
*dave
*me, (dave)
*liam
*Liam, i heard he was sleeping with there manager that paul bloke.
25. Which member still sleeps with a teddy bear?
*Blyto i reckon, and bernard if daves mum counts as a teddy....
*Blyto
*tobes... he always was a little that way incline i thought
*Blyto
*blyto
*again no ideas, but i sleep with a life size replica of Queen Liz (dave)
* Blyto
*They all do because they are all teddy bears themselves.
26. Which member sleeps with Dave''s mum (Dave is not an acceptable answer you sick monkeys!)
*if bernard counts then bernard, if not definantly blyto
*All of them
*dave matey its not just within the band
*All of them as well as the many thousands of the bands religious followers- why do you think they have so many with dick all in the way of musical talent
* i think a more appropriate questions is who doiesnt sleep with daves mum
*Did anyone ask how i would feel if someone wrote this crap, i'm having a hard enough time trying to deal with it as it is... if you all must know mum is with all members as well as the manager, and this groupie called steve we met last year and the craig, the back vocalist, also there's Tim the stage manager....
* anybody would
*i haven't seen daves mum but if shes half decent i would sleep with her
27. Can you think of a good excuse for when we face court next week charged with possession of Child Pornography?
*Just cos we are small and look a few years younger than we actually are does not mean we are children
*"He was my son, its my right to abuse him!"
*i'd just like to say i have no part in this section of the bands activities and who's to say daves sister didnt want to do the photos !?!
*They aren't porn they're my little brothers class photos
*say u were taking care of them for the mayor
*we really need your help here... these are serious allegations
*a priest gave it to me
*"He asked for it judge, it was written all over his face!"
28. How do you think Oddy contracted lysdexia?
*is it contaigious? probly from me coughing on him or something
*STD
*irruk irruk its all ive got to say
* He lives in Kurri- no more has to be said
*eating carrots from the wrong end
*When he was young the planet Krypton exploded and he flew to earth in a small pod...
*reading too much
*Sucking pinapples
29. Whats the best way to get someone elses blood out of the carpet?
*something by big kev should do the trick
*move house
*well im not sure .... best bet - burn down the house... yes that should fix up the problem
*Again ask Dave's mum she always gets it clean quick
*just put newspaper over it, big daddy style
*i need help, this annoying door to door bitch came in and was so boring... i only meant to tap her with the sledge hammer...
*cut it out with a lawn mower
*Rub there bains into it.
30. In 500 hundred words or less, write our next hit song.
*Ode to Mrs Warren....(theres the title)
*I've written most of them already, its someone elses turn
*i got the fuck kicked outta me by mr lantry
* La La La I fucked her in your car. (Repeat 53 times)
*do a cover of the radiators "give me head"
*Your not the same, you've changed, i don't need you anyway
*this one is aimed at the hi-5 market
ive got my fingers up my nose
ive got my fingers on my toes
ive got my fingers round my hose
ive got some fungus guess where it grows
(at this point the children yell out a body part, just like who stole the cookie from the cookie jar.if the children yell out anything other than "on your grandma" you say no and repeat the song at which point they guess another body part and so on)
the actions for this song are pretty self explanatory
*No way your the best do it yourself
31. Which band members mother is most attractive?
*i dunno but daves dad is fiiiiine, always loved science with mr L!
* They all look the same upside down
* no comment (daves)
*Not Dave's- i started insisting on a paper bag from the start
*dunno, but daves dad is pretty good.......
* piss off with these goddam questions
*at which end?
*They all look the same in the dark.
32. How long can you hide a body in the car until it starts to smell?
*if its in emilys mazda....not long, 2 days tops but if its in Aarons volvo which i adore....probably a solid few months..
*apparently no longer than 5 days
*approx 34.5 hours depending on size
*Front seat or back?
*in summer or winter? u only get a coupla days in summer, but 2 weeks is achievable if the temp is around 10c or lower
*oh i know this one... bout a week and a half
*it depends. the best way is to cut them up into six pieces and feed them to pigs. a pig can consume 2 pounds of uncooked flesh in two minutes if it hasn't been fed for 3 days.
*In my refrigerated trunk as long as you want.
33. What do you know about lead?
*its a tasty after dinner snack
*dick all ... something about my dads initials or somethin
*Isn't it the person at the front of the band?
*heavy, like pantera
*pb is its periodic symbol... bloody heavy, quite lethal if you mix it in someones drink or hit them over the head with the solid version
*very little
*Its a good lubricant.
34. If you became the new TTTR member, what orifice would you use to play your instrument?
*ummmmm my ear! i can use my ear...
*a private one
*we already have a nose recorder player ... no ideas ok
*Recorder from the nose- im already quite talented
*i wood play the kazoo by urinating thru it
*hahaha i'm already in
*the gaping hole i had slit in my throat when i was asked to be in such a shit band.
*All of them.
35. What instrument would it be?
*i would attach a cow bell to my tragus piercing and swing it
*Mel Burns' "vase"
*nose
*nose
*kazoo
*i play with my hands
*kazoo
*A cuban cigar.
36. Do you know any remedies for a bent weiner?
*Call the deli you purchased it from cos thats damn pathetic, all weiners should be perfectly straight in order for good hotdogs
*a car door and a strong pain threshold
*drink as much as possible within 24 hrs preferably about 4.5 cartons then find a hammer and well... use ur imagination
*Lots of wanking
* electrical tape. dont ask how, but it fixes evrything else
* find some bicarb soda... mix it with a good drop of red and some cheap vodka... drink as much as you can, then you'll be so drunk everything will be crooked and you wont notice your genitals
*ask dave's mum she has fixed up many bent weiners
*Chop it off and put it in the oven for 45 minutes max.
37. Which band member do you think like to be spanked at least 3 times a day?
*Dave
*none, its at least 5 times a day or nothing
*dave
*Not Dave cause his mum would be tired from doing it to everyone else
*blyto
*not telling
*yet again ask dave's mum
*only blyto because i havent picked on him yet.
38. How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
*i reckon a good 50kgs...
* none, Daves sister cooked it for our tea
*fisher said that the wood chuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood
*What's wood?
*dirty little woodchuck...................
* i think someone's chucking something else besides wood
*this much
*About 10 woodies in 27 minutes.
39. When are you going to shout us a drink?
*when i get made manager
*when you are old enough to get in the bar!
*yes i am a little thirsty
*When someone gives me some to pass around
*hahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaha. oh, u werent joking?
*waiting....
*when you give me the money for it
*When i keel over and die and you com to my wake.
40. Will you pose nude for our next album cover?
*will mr larkman be there?
*against all advice, yes
*when do u want me to take my clothes off??? im there
*Can't- Certain features wouldn't fit on one CD cover and unless you're planning on going vinyl... *as long as u alter the pic so my doodle looks bigger
*depends how hot the chicks are...
*you wont have a next album so it doesn't matter
*Nudity is the only art form, so in a word ? yes.