Elizabeth didn't make it to the dance. I spent all night staring at the wall, waiting for her to come in, and put my out of the misery that my evening had been so far. Sarah had been a pain all night, always talking about nothing else than Nikolas, there were more teachers than students, and, of course, Elizabeth wasn't there.
After the dance, Deannie, Sarah and I went to Kelly's for a piece of pie, and Sarah put that song on the jukebox, the one she listens to over, and over and over again that gets on my nerves, and she talked about how Nikolas was too old to do kids' stuff like go to dances. I tried to talk to her about Elizabeth, make her see that I was worried, but she didn't care. That's when I saw Chad. He told me he never called Elizabeth, that he didn't even knew her. I told Sarah I thought it was weird that Elizabeth would make up a story about a guy she didn't know, but Sarah took back the conversation to Nikolas, once again. I got up and I left to find Elizabeth. I didn't want to call, because she might not answer, and, to tell you the truth, I was glad to get away from Sarah. Never thought I'd say this, or even think it, but I actually believe I liked to be with Elizabeth more at that point. Sarah was getting on my nerves and I was kicking myself to have let Elizabeth for her.
I was walking in the park, near Kelly's when I heard a sound behind me. I turned around and I saw someone crawling out of the bushes. I asked who was there, and when the person looked up, my heart just stopped. I said something silly, like "oh my God what the hell happened to you" like I didn't already have an idea. I got close to her and she got scared. When I said "Elizabeth, it's Lucky" she seemed like she recognized me and let me help her to the nearby bench. She kept saying that her shoe fell off, and I told her I would fix it. When I put it on her foot, I saw bruises all over her legs, her shoulders, everywhere. My eyes were full of water, and she was looking like a frighten animal caught in a trap. She said she didn't know who did this to her, and she started saying how she lost her bracelet, the one her grandfather gave her grandmother, and I promised her I would find it. And I will, if it's the last thing I do, I will find it. I told her I was going to take her to the hospital, but she didn't want to hear it. I was nearly crying when I told her "somebody slapped you around a little, that much I can see", but she didn't want to go anywhere, not even home. I then told her I would take care of her, and took her home. My home.
I left her alone while I went to get my aunt Bobbie, that was the only compromise she would make. While I was gone, she took a shower. I really wish she didn't do that. How the police is suppose to find evidence now? When I came back, my dad was there, and Elizabeth was terrified, I could see it in her eyes. I told my dad she got jumped in the park, and he looked horrified. Bobbie took Elizabeth upstairs, and I poured my heart out to my dad, and. For the first time, I cried. I cried on her lost innocence, on what she lost, on the expression of her eyes. Her eyes were empty. Of emotions, of thoughts, like she locked herself from the reality, like something so terrible had happen and she couldn't bare facing it. I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what and it was driving me crazy. My dad told me I was doing something, by being there for her, listening if she needed to talk, not pushing her to say things she wasn't ready, by letting her find her own way, but letting her know she wasn't alone. Dad said she would have some tough days ahead, and he turned out to be right.
Elizabeth didn't show up at school the next day, not that I blame her, but when I tried to call her, she didn't answer. I went to see Bobbie, I needed to talk to someone who knew. She told me I shouldn't force Elizabeth in talking if she didn't want to, and that we would never catch the guy who did this if she didn't want to press charges. She told me basically to let it go, because it didn't happen to her, and it didn't happen to me. She said that what Elizabeth could stand right now was the most important. Then it was like if Bobbie knew what I was thinking, when she said Elizabeth isn't wrong if she wants to keep what happened to herself, she wasn't wrong to be alone, in that park and I wasn't wrong to have changed my mind and spent the night with somebody else.
I was actually starting to believe her when Mrs. Hardy showed up. She told me how much things didn't turn out for Elizabeth like they did for Sarah, and then she said she wasn't saying anything I didn't already knew, and then she said " So to see her as excited as she was about going to that dance with you. I helped her agonize over what to wear and then pick out the right jewelry to go with it. And I wasn't worried about her staying out late, or coming home safely because she was with someone trusted". Just imagine how I felt at that moment. I wanted the ground to open and suck me right in all the way to hell. Bobbie interrupted her at that moment, and Audrey put salt in the wound one last time, when she said "I'll hush, but Lucky I wanted to make sure you knew how important last night was to Elizabeth". I just blocked myself from all comment at that moment. Nothing would get in the way of me helping Elizabeth. She is my friend, and I would do anything for her. She is now my top priority. When Bobbie said she was sorry and she knew it must have been awful for me, I just told her "If she and Elizabeth think I'm such a great guy, why don't I just try and be one?"
I went to her house and knocked and knocked and knocked again, but she wasn't answering. I shouted her name again and again, but still, nothing moved inside the house. I kept shouting "Elizabeth, I just want to see if you're OK. Please open the door". I was shouting louder and louder. I probably just scared her, but I needed to see her. At that point, I was just fighting the tears to prevent them from falling, my voice was cracking up, but I kept saying her name, until I realized she wasn't going to answer me. So. heartbroken, I went home.
She wasn't going to get rid of me that easily. I went back the next day, and I took her homework with me, although it was just an excuse and I told her. She thanked me for what I did that night, and she said I probably saved her life, but she didn't want to talk about it anymore. She said she just wanted to forget and I told her she couldn't forget something like that. Elizabeth looked at me right in the eyes and told me I didn't know what happened and I told her I did. "No you don't, you can't!" Was what she answered me. I was facing her back, and she passed a nervous hand in her hair. "He grabbed me, he threw me down on the ground, and he pinned me down. I couldn't even move. God he was breathing so hard I thought he was going to die. I wish, I wish he had died. He raped me Lucky." She said, looking in my eyes. I slowly moved towards her, and I took her in my arms, one hand in her hair, her head resting on my shoulder.
I knew she had been raped, I knew it since the second I saw her eyes but still, having her admit it to me, was like thousands of knifes in my heart. I just wanted to take her pain away, and it was killing me to know it was all my fault. I told her I would do anything to help her I was stunned by her request. She wanted me to help her with her math. So I did, and I told her I meant it. Anything she needed, anything at all, I would provide it. After she did her homework, I tried to talk to her again about telling somebody, but she gave me the shirt I lent her that night and she basically threw me out. She opened the door, clearly indicating she wanted me to go. I turned around to talk to her as soon as I was on the porch, but she just closed the door in my face. I can take a hint, I won't push her to talk about it anymore.
I went to see my dad at the club to give him the mail, and he saw the shirt I had in my hand. I'm so glad I can talk to my dad. He is truly the coolest guy in the world, and he gives great advice. I told him how much it was killing me that Elizabeth wasn't even fighting to find that jerk, and I asked him how a man can live with himself for doing that to a woman. I told him I wanted to kill that guy. You can't even call him a man, he's a coward. I told him Elizabeth wanted to forget what happened, but how could she? I can't, and it didn't even happened to me! Each time I talk about it, or think about her terrorized faced when she crawled out of those bushes, I just cry. I never thought I could feel so helpless about something, someone.
I think it's about time I stop writing for tonight, my eyes are so full of water, I can't even see the sheets, and I'm messing the ink with all the tears that are falling on the journal. I'll keep you posted, and I will try and look for that bracelet first thing tomorrow.
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