Lucky was sitting in a rocking chair in the baby girl’s room, slowly rocking her to sleep with the same song he sang his grandson when he was born. Her eyes were closing slowly and she was holding her father’s hand tight. Tears were falling down his face and he was wiping them before they reached the baby’s face. For the first time since he brought her home 5 months ago, he actually wanted her to fall asleep fast, so he could be alone with his thoughts. Normally he hated that time of the day, when he was losing Lani to her sleeping play date, but tonight, he needed to be alone. He needed to think, and put the last touch to his latest song. Finally, he heard her sigh, and he kissed her forehead. He put her in her crib and watched her sleep a little more. He loved her so much, and he couldn’t believe she was really his to keep. His own daughter, his flesh and blood, the love of his life. Little Luke held a special place in his heart, too, but no one could make him smile like Lani could. She was so full of joy, the innocence still intact, and the slightest thing would make her smile. The weirdest sound, the smell of her father near her, her big brothers voices, her sister’s, and even the sight of her couple-of-hours-older-than-her nephew was enough to put her in the best of mood. Lucky would give his right arm to find that kind of peace of mind again, if only for one day.
But it was wishful thinking, and life showed him through hard lessons that these things never happen, and thinking about it was only worth a bleeding heart. But the problem was, his heart didn’t have tears anymore, neither did his eyes. He cried enough for three lifetimes, and he didn’t have the strength to do it anymore. He was older, wiser and bitter than he was at 17 years old, when his dreams were whole and he saw the world through a child’s eyes. Whispering his eternal love to his youngest child he walked out of the room and down the stairs, where sheets of papers were waiting for him. Elizabeth’s latest and only letter to him since she left 7 months ago. He sighed and sat back down, taking the sheets in his hands, smelling them. They even smelled like her. For the second time in only 10 minutes, he sighed and started to read, putting a wall of indifference around his heart. He looked at the letter through Robert’s eyes, the stranger.
"Dear Lucky,
By this time, you probably figured out I wasn’t coming back. I’m sorry to have left like a burglar but it was actually the only thing I could do not to break down. I know Lani is living with you now, I know you changed your name back. I’m sure it gets confusing with your son being named Lucky too, but I know you’ll figure something out. You always do.
You must wonder how I know all of this. Well, it’s simple. A friend of mine actually goes to Port Charles once a month, and he brings me back news about my family. Although I’m sure you don’t consider me a part of that family anymore. Not that I would blame you, the last year I’ve been horrible to you, and my children. That’s why I am writing this letter. To let you, and everyone else know that I am not coming back. I won’t say where I am, because I think it would be better for everyone involved not to know, but I owed you to know I would never come back and claim Lani from you. She was never really mine anyway and I know if you do only half as good as you did with Kiara, she will be a wonderful young lady.
Be happy for me, please Lucky. I found someone, who loves me, who I don’t have to be someone else with. He doesn’t have to take care of me, which would’ve been what you would’ve done. I can walk on my own now, I’m not afraid anymore. I don’t need you to come and get me out of a dark closet, where I am so scared all I can do is stare, unable to walk because my legs just bail out under me. Please Lucky, I beg of you, let go of me. Set me free.
You’ll always have a special place in my heart, right up there with the children, but my life is here now. There is nothing I can do about that, no matter how much you must hate me for twice forgetting about you so fast. But I don’t need you to take my hand and help me to walk right back in the rest of my life.
Elizabeth"
Lucky shook his head, wondering where and when she got so cold, using so many pieces of their history together to make sure his heart was breaking. To make sure his heart was in pieces, broken beyond repair. But he wouldn’t cry. Not anymore. He was done crying for Elizabeth Imogene Webber-Cassadine.
He took his guitar and scratched it, before taking the other sheets on the couch in his hands. The song he wrote the first time he read her letter. It was almost done. He wrote the last part, and put the sheets back down. He didn’t need them to sing the song. He knew it. His heart was singing, so he didn’t need his head to remember it.
"I thought that you’d be loving me
I thought you were the one who’d stay forever
But now forever’s come and gone
And I’m still here alone
Cause you were only playing
Cause you were only playing with my heart
I was never waiting
I was never waiting for the tears to start
It was you
Who put the clouds around me
It was you
Who made the tears fall down
It was you
Who broke my heart in pieces
It was you, It was you
Who made my blue eyes blue
I never should’ve trusted you
I thought that I’d be all you need
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven
And now my heaven’s gone away
And I’m now in the cold
Cause you had me believing
You had me believing in a lie
Guess I couldn’t see it
Guess I couldn’t it see it
Till I saw good-bye
It was you
Who put the clouds around me
It was you
Who made the tears fall down
It was you
Who broke my heart in pieces
It was you, It was you
Who made my blue eyes blue
I never should’ve trusted you
Cause you were only playing
Cause you were only playing with my heart
I was never waiting
I was never waiting for the tears to start
It was you
Who put the clouds around me
It was you
Who made the tears fall down
Only you
Who broke my heart in pieces
It was you, It was you
Who made my blue eyes blue
I never should’ve trusted you"
Lucky looked around his living room, and nervously passed a hand on his head. He put the guitar beside him and slowly passed his hands on his face, and cupped his mouth with both of them. He was staring right at the picture on his mantel. Kiara took it the day they played hockey in the street. The day they made their relationship official in front of her second son. He was dressed in his play clothes, his roller blades causing him to be much taller than her. He had his hockey gloves covering his hands, and he was holding his hockey stick. He was nearly half bent, and his lips were brushing hers slightly. Even though they were taken from the side, you could see the smiles that were taking over their mouths, and their faces were lighted up with happiness.
"-I never should’ve trusted you." Lucky repeated in a whisper, before his hands went from his mouth to wipe his eyes, as he silently started to cry.
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