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.......... It's gotten to the point that I needed a place to keep track of all the polls I throw on here so I cobbled this page together so that I had a quick reference and if any of you would like to cast your votes for polls you may have missed, here is your chance.
.......... Yes, I already know they're all stupid. If none of them offend you or make you laugh, then I'm not doing my job well enough.

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Drama Queen?
Am I really a drama magnet?
No. Drama just follows you.
Yes. You always seem to be starting shit.
Who are you? What are you doing in my house?

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I was talking to Lucas today and mentioned how someone told me I had a flair for the dramatic. I think it's untrue. I believe I'm pretty darned stable. Low maintenance and all that. You know what? Lucas laughed in my face and said I was a veritable drama queen. I told him to cite some examples of some dramatic mess I was responsible for. He said "The whole Holly thing". I'm not positive that I know what he was talking about but he started to list some other crap before I demanded to know what the hell he was talking about. The whole holly thing??? He conceeded that I may not have been -directly- responsible but I was smack dab in the middle of it. I was just trying to play damage control in the one situation I can think of. So, I put the question to you. Those of you who know me at least. =) Am I really a cause of drama?
Bukkake!
If manchowder could taste like anything you wanted, what would you like?
Strawberry
Chocolate
Vanilla
Honey
Chocolate covered Stawberries
A peanut butter and jelly sandwich (no crust)
Nachos with cheese and/or salsa
A Taco Supreme
Steak with A-1 sauce
A #6 Value Meal from Wendys
Moo Moo Gai Pan with an egg roll and a Coke
Chef Boy-R-Dee spaghetti and meatballs
Pussy
Jesse

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What can I say? Some people like to ponder strange stuff. I happen to be one of them. I frequently enjoy letting my mind wander and see what strange and bizzare things it leads me to. It's the sort of strangeness that can lead to some fun conversations when everyone is sitting around -really- drunk. Sometimes it can be pretty offensive. Oh well. It's no fun wearing a crash helmet and pads just for conversation, right?
Mawwage?
Would you marry me?
Fuck no!
Let's be clear on this... No. Absolutely not.
Maybe.
I was just kidding. I'd never marry you.
I'm a chronic liar and would love to marry you.
Do I get fries with that?
What was your name again? I gotta go...
I think you would be an ideal, if not bizzare, husband. Sure.
I've been stalking you for years! We are destined to be together! Gimme dem babies! Call me Joyce.

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Don't be alarmed! It's not real. It's a test of public opinion. You know, like the survey of all the people who would enjoy having nails thrust through their heads. A surprising amout of guys responded positively on that one. Hopefully I won't get similar results. From guys. Anyway, I was talking to my grandmother today and she asked when I was going to settle down and get married to a nice young lady and make her a great grandmother. I explained to her that my generation works in reverse. First she becomes a great grandmother, then I get married, then the divorce, then I find a nice young lady. At least that's the way I have perceived the relationships of my peers. Still... That got my mind wondering. Imagine, if you will, that we were living in an alternate reality or that this was all just a movie so there were no consequences of your actions. In that case, would you marry me? Heh, I think I'm going to memorize that last bit and use that if/when I actually do ask someone. Again.
Ball Slap?
When having sex with a guy, does the balls slapping against you during a thrust make it better?
Yes, I kind of like it.
No, I can't say that it does anything special for me.
I can't remember the last time I felt a man during sex.
Oh, I -love- it when his balls slap against mine!
¿Que?

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I was just reading through the literature that came with my NRA membership card and filling out the form for the free hat when Lucas started laughing hysterically. I asked him what he was so jubilant about and he read me a snippet from the latest Maxim magazine. Ladies wrote in to talk about various things they like about sex and one woman said that she really enjoys it when the balls slap against her during thrusts and it sends her right over the edge. It was obvious that neither he or I had put much thought into that aspect. So, I put the question to you.
Cartoon Frolic
Which cartoon character would you rather hook up with?
Betty (from the Flintstones)
Wilma (from the Flintstones)
Fred (from the Flintstones)
Barney (from the Flintstones)
Natasha (from Rocky and Bullwinkle)
Boris Badinov (from Rocky and Bullwinkle)
Daphnie (from Scooby)
Wilma (from Scooby)
Fred (from Scooby)
Shaggy (from Scooby)
Scooby Doo (from Fred and Shaggy)
Wonder Woman
Zan Wondertwin
Jana Wondertwin
Captain Caveman

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Fun with polls! The last one earned me several emails and since I love getting email so much I decided to try another one to continue with a conversation we had the other day (while drinking) and see what the sober world thinks. I tried to offer a wider variety of choices since a similar poll offered on another page earned a comment of 'Geeze, a girl's got shit options' from Holly.
To Look Or Not To Look
On the topic of looking at your partner during sex...
...I like it when they look at me.
...I don't like it when they look at me. It's kinda creepy for some reason.
...I don't mind if they have to close their eyes and pretend that I'm Fabio.
...I have to close my eyes and pretend THEY are Fabio.
...I like to close MY eyes and pretend that I am Fabio.
...I can't believe it's not butter!

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I was talking to a few friends yesterday and the subject of sex came up. Imagine that! Specifically, we were discussing looking at your partner during sex. The answers and reasons were fairly varied but we didn't have a woman's perspective at the time. Not exactly the easiest thing to work smoothly into a conversation. It would probably be something like this; 'Oh cool, I love this song! Say, while we are on the subject, when you are having sex with a guy do you like to look at him or just close your eyes?' Why do women almost always close their eyes and the guys almost always don't? I understand that most women do not think of themselves as being attractive and that is why they do not like having lights on during sex unless they like watching in a mirror placed by the bed so they can watch themselves having sex. It seems common enough to me, but I go to great lengths not to date women who are shy or dainty. As for looking at your partner during sex, I must admit that I rather enjoy looking at my partner. I watch for tale tale signs that I'm doing something well or poorly so I can adjust accordingly. However, when my partner looks at me it is like kryptonite. I can't read their expression and the question of why they are looking at me screams for answers in the back of my mind. What are they looking for? Expecting me to make some sort of wacky faces while she's not looking? If that's the case then they're out of luck since I'm so stoic during sex. Another reason perhaps... One guy said that he likes it when the women look at him since he knows they are not thinking of anyone else. I suppose I'll never know unless I ask but that's not an option until I find another woman who likes looking. So, I put the question to you. Do you like it when your partner looks?
Personality Survey
From what you have read thus far, do you think I am:
a slacker?
a punk?
a loser?
an asshole?
jaded?
a really nice cute guy secretly hiding behind a mask of evil?
gay?

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Everyone wants to know what people think of them at some point or another. Even if they don't care what the other people think, curiosity drives us to do some crazy things. I can't remember when I made this one. Probably a looooong time ago. It's seen a lot of use, and at the time of this writing there is a tie in the results. I'm sure that'll change very soon. Pffft! The nerve of some people.
Dream Date
Who would you rather go on a wet and wild date with? Women, you know you want to vote too!
Batwoman
Catwoman
Mr. Roper

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This is probably my first poll. Not much to do here.