Ape Man Sightings:

Ape-Like Creature Man has been sighted rummaging through the streets of Winfield! With help from viewers like you we can put an end to this violent, yet somewhat cuddly creature. CLICK HERE

Rocket Launches:

Ok, Ok. We know you miss the Rocket Launch section of Tractor Control. This site would be nothing if it weren't for the "Control" part of Tractor Control, so the least we could do is update it more frequently. Well, the latest pics from ground zero are up, so have at it.CLICK HERE

Thunder Squeal:

If you like peanut butter, chances are you've heard about the Thunder Squeal. Peanut butter conventions across the nation are buzzing with the latest gossip about "the squeal heard 'round the world."CLICK HERE to take a listen to what the New York Times dubbed as "Nearly Tolerable."

About the Creators:

Whether you love the site and you want to know who to congratulate, or you hate the site and want to know who to blame, you can CLICK HERE to read about the creators of Tractor Control. Maybe you can even catch us online and send us an instant message.

Ape-Like Creature Man

Ape-Like Creature Man has recently been spotted in the Putnam County area roaming the streets of Winfield. If you happen to see Ape-Like Creature Man, please do not attempt to photograph him. Only the most trained professionals, like David or Pat, should ever try to take a picture of Ape-Like Creature Man. Ape-Like Creature Man seems to be frightened by flash photography and he is quite capable of charging when angered, rendering you dead. Do not let Ape-Like Creature Man's cuddly appearance mislead you. Ape-Like Creature Man is not a benign being. He is a ferocious beast. Be careful. Ape- Like Creature Man is a herbivore AND a carnivore!! Several attempts have been made to capture Ape-Like Creature Man leaving some seriously injured. Ape-Like Creature Man often responds to the names Hey You, Dad, Mister, Sir, and Grandma. Specifications ( based on eye-witness accounts) Last seen: Sipping a BIGGIE Coke at Wendy's Height: 8 feet tall Weight: 500 lbs. Eye color: red Shoe size: 12 Favorite song to break dance to: Magic Carpet Ride by Steppen Wolf Favorite quote: "I'd like one funnel cake, hold the sausage." Here are some eye-witness accounts of Ape-Like Creature Man encounters: "He was standing by the pay phone. He just stood there, You know? I mean-- I looked, and there he was, standing!" Bewildered Pharmacist, Lucille Young "I reckon he was a good two, three hunderd feet from where I was standin'. He walked funny. A type of walk like he had been bailin' hay all the live long day." Farmer Brown "Yeah, I saw Ape-Like Creature Man alright. When I went up to him and asked for his autograph, he bit me. Can you believe that? Now I think I have rabies or something." Tracey Smith "He had a peculiar aroma to him. Not the same aroma as those pretty ladies with the ‘Please ask me about my scent.' stickers who stand around in fancy department stores spraying people with perfumes and colognes. No, not like that at all." Jessica NoLastName More information will be released as soon as we receive it. Thanks for your cooperation. And remember: If you see Ape-Like Creature Man, play dead. This won't keep him from clawing you to death, but you won't die exhausted from running away, and your corpse will look twice as nice without the fatigued expression on your face. Have a nice day. If you have had a close encounter with Ape-Like Creature Man, please feel free to sign my guestbook describing the event or send me an IM. My Aol Instant Messenger Screen Name is: PHB156 David's is: DSKarastury Ape-Like Creature Man Pictures: NEW: NOT NEW: Picture 1 Picture 2 Picture 3 Picture 4 Picture 5 Picture 6 Picture 7 Picture 8 Picture 9 Picture 10 Picture 11 Picture 12