Strange lights in the sky! Beings from another world! Abductions! Mutilations! Transplants and Unearthly goings on!
But what is it all about? Our investigator Allan Oiyouforages finds out.
It was a quiet cold and miserable night, and I was with 23 people out in the wilderness of  the Nevada desert, hoping to glimpse some strange etherical activity.
Stan D. Feardman, Ufologist and former Nasa rocket scientist was leading the "saucer watch" in what was one of the most active UFO 'hotspots' in the states.
I asked him what he was hoping to find there that night.
Well, I'm hoping we will all find a little something in ourselves."
He told me quietly. "Maybe we will see some distant lights. Maybe we won't. The main thing is that we came. And , Hey! We're together!"
I threw my guts up in Stan's flask!
I had been stood there, shivvering in the cold night air for almost three hours without even a slight glimpse of any space ships or Marsians, when I became suddenly irritable so I decided to take it out on the weakest of the group, Mrs Taylor of Michigan. There stood the pathetic figure of an old woman in the dim light of the moon. Sipping from a flask, she turned to me and smiled. I knocked the flask from her hand and proceeded to kick it into the camp fire.
She bellowed and cried as I pushed her tent into the flames and we all stood staring at the rising fire. Cinders rose and danced in the dark air like many firefly. Stan emptied his flask into Mrs Taylor's face to calm her down. Nice!
Five hours had past and we were about to pack up for the night when an almighty rumble tore through the blank darkness!
We instinctively looked up and saw an amazing light beam down upon us. We were the ants. The lighted craft was the ten year old boy. We stood there silent, jaws agape, for this was truly our moment of glory! Our vigilance had paid off! There was the sighting of a lifetime! Only, it wasn't. It was simply a military helicopter checking out the reports of a fire in the dusty bowl!
We were arrested and spent much of the next morning in a county jail situated next to White Sands.
Stanly and his group were bailed for $3,000. I had to spend the week in a cell because the authorities refused to accept the existence of my homeland in England!
"Yorkshire?"The sherrif asked. "There ain't such a place as Yorkshire! You're pissing me off boy!"
He then bathed me in his own fluids!