Hi, my name's Pen and I'm happily married to Trisha, who's been a transvestite for all of his adult life. When we were first together I didn't know about his transvestism, and for the first few years of our marriage he suppressed it and didn't dress or have any sort of TV lifestyle, but after a while the strain of trying to ignore this side of his nature became too much for him and he started cross-dressing again and occasionally meeting other TVs for sexual encounters (you can read the full story elsewhere on this site).
Eventually I discovered his female clothes, wigs, etc., at which point he confessed the whole thing to me with, I think, a great sense of relief at not having to keep it a secret any longer, and since then we've managed to work out a lifestyle which we can both live with and which meets both our needs, we've met some good new friends and have had a lot of fun in the process.
So what is Transvestism?
Most people who've never met or had very much to do with transvestites on a personal level have a vague idea that it's some kind of sexual perversion, a kind of fetishism, and that TVs do it purely because it gives them a sexual thrill. Well, there is certainly a sexual element to it in many cases, but it's usually a whole lot more than this, especially for slightly older TVs who've been cross-dressing for several years.
There doesn't seem to be any one widely-accepted explanation for why a man becomes a transvestite, although there are various theories, which range from emotional trauma during childhood to fluctuating hormonal influences on the developing foetus in the womb. What does seem to be true is that transvestism almost always begins in childhood or early adolescence, when a young boy discovers that handling or wearing female clothes feels good to him and, after he's hit puberty, is exciting and arouses his new sexual urges. So it becomes linked to his developing sexuality, and at this stage will often be used as an aid to masturbation, thus reinforcing the link.
This isn't the whole story, however. As the young TV matures, he frequently discovers that his cross-dressing has become much more than just a sexual thrill. Most TVs have a fairly strong female side to their personalities, with well-developed emotional instincts, sensitivity and a strong nurturing streak - all of the so-called 'feminine' personality traits. As he gets older, he'll often find that his cross-dressing provides him with a way of expressing this female side and escaping for a while from the stresses of his everyday masculine life, with all the 'macho' characteristics - aggression, competitiveness, a 'go-getter' mentality - expected of him as a man in today's society. This may - and in very many cases does - become deeply important to him, in many cases much more so than any sexual buzz that he may get from dressing and imagining himself a 'girl'.
Many TVs say that they are able to be nicer, gentler, kinder people because of their transvestism - that, because they are able to express the sensitive feminine side within them in this way, they find these gentler aspects of their personalities developing and growing even when they're presenting as men. When they're 'en femme', they feel relaxed, calm, and peaceful, it relieves them of the strains of masculine existence, and helps them cope with the world more easily. For many, many older TVs, this eventually takes over as the primary motivation for continuing to cross-dress.
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