I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute.
The best thing about being schizophrenic is that I'm never alone.
Psychiatrist to his nurse: "Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying
'It's a madhouse'.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a woman?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, a man is already there!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I' invisible.
Who said that?!
Doctor, doctor nobody understands me.
What do you mean by that?
Doctor, doctor, People keep ignoring me!
Next!
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.
Don't answer!
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you are multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional we know who you are and what you want just stay on the
line so we can trace your call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number
to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionaly hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you
are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
10- You wake up at 3a.m. to go to the bathroom, and check your email on
the way back to bed.
9- Your firsborn is named dotcom.
8- You turn off your modem and are suddenly filled with a feeling of
emptiness, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
7- You spend half of a plane trip with your laptop in your lap and
your child in the overhead compartment.
6- You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just
for the free Internet acess.
5- You find yourself typing "com" after every period.com
4- You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
3- You move into a new home and decide to netscape before you landscape.
2- You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
DRUM ROLL PLEASE
AND THE NO. 1 SIGN THAT YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO
JOIN EMAIL ANONYMOUS:
1- Immediately after reading this list, you email it to someone.
