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Setting: Some time after the episode “Fractures”, all spoilers included.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All rights to the Farscape storyline and its characters are owned by SciFi Network and Henson Co. No profit or fame of any kind garnered from this fan fiction. Archiving to Farscape fan fiction sites is OK by me. No beta-reader was used, so all the mistakes are also the property of Henson Co. >g
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Part 1:
Crichton may very well have always been the last to know, but this time he never even suspected.
Slumped against the iron wall of his prison cell on the command carrier, it was all he could do to remain conscious. Dried blood clung to his cheek, puddled like caked mud in his collarbone. The pounding in his head had ebbed to a dull, persistent ache – better than the nauseating throb he had awoken to less than an arn earlier.
The pain was the least of his problems. Where the hell was Aeryn?
The mental image of her fighting, screaming in agony, fighting harder still to no avail – he closed his eyes to try to erase the picture from his mind, but instead it grew stronger. Scorpius’ new device, over a cycle in the making, had made the Aurora Chair seem like a bad day at the dentist. John had spent over two arns stretched out flat, strapped to a cold table that could’ve come straight out of Frankenstein’s laboratory.
When Scorpius was through, Crichton was once again drooling and bleeding from his nose and ears, and was returned to his cell completely disoriented. His grand and noble mission to find and destroy all the research on wormhole technology had been appallingly short-lived. They’d been captured before they ever got close.
Crichton didn’t have a clue as to the fates of his crewmates, but he and Aeryn had been thrown into the same cell, surprisingly. Knowing they were being monitored, they hadn’t discussed any part of the mission. Instead, he had pushed in another direction.
“I wish now I hadn’t let you come.” He hadn’t looked at her the entire mission until then.
Aeryn scoffed at his concern. “You’ve deluded yourself into thinking you ‘let’ me come. I make my own decisions now, and they’re not based on your opinions.”
Even as accustomed as he was to her sharp tongue, Crichton was still taken aback at her venom. “I see. So that’s how it is. All bets are off. All ties broken. No partnership, no talking, no…no love lost between us. Is that it?” This might be wading into deep waters, but it might also be now or never.
“That’s it, Crichton.” She didn’t bother looking at him.
His lips twitched, pursed tightly together. That cold shell – man, did that feel like old times. Longing to shatter it, he reached for the sledgehammer he’d put down a thousand times before. He was too angry to think about the consequences.
“What’s the matter – did he disappoint you that much?” She wasn’t quick enough to hide her surprise at the crudity of his question. It encouraged him to dig deeper. “Or is it just that you’re a coward?”
Her jaw clenched, but she hadn’t taken the bait. It only infuriated him more.
“Well, come on, it’s one or the other, Aeryn. Either you don’t have the guts to live your life, or you discovered that he just wasn’t worth the effort!”
He’d wanted her to fly across the room at him in mutual rage, tell him she hated him, tell him anything. Instead he’d managed to turn her eyes colder. She was paler than he’d ever seen her. Too late, he bit his lip and berated himself in anguish. “God, why’d I say that?”
When she didn’t speak, or move, he began to mumble. “I’m sorry. I’m angry. You didn’t deserve that. I don’t want to hurt you more. I…I just want…to be able to tell you…that I’ve missed you. I’ve been waiting for you. I still love you.”
It took all his courage to look up at her. She just stared at him, unresponsive. For the first time, it truly frightened him.
“And you don’t want to hear that.”
It had seemed like arns before there was any sign of life from her. When she spoke her voice was flat.
“You don’t know the place I went to after he died. I don’t mean Valdon. I mean the place inside myself.” She looked away from him then, far away. “I came back from that place once. I couldn’t make it back again.”
Crichton thought about letting it lie, but he had to say something. He had to. Before they came for him.
“You think I don’t understand. I do. It takes more courage to let go…and live.”
While he was still waiting for something, anything, from her, the guards had come to take him. He was totally out of it when they’d thrown him back onto his cell floor, after Scorpius had played the first round of his latest game. When he woke up, she was gone.
Every time he pictured her on that table, her mind being probed and dissected, he felt like he would vomit. Why did Scorpy want her, anyway? She couldn’t help him with wormhole. Crichton was beginning to hate his obsessive chase for wormholes, beginning to hate himself for risking everyone else in the process. Why had he allowed this private war between Scorpius and himself to hurt everyone he had come to love and care about, as well?
Scorpius’ various methods of torturing Crichton didn’t compare to his own.
The guards came for him again, much later. Without a word, they led him not to the interrogation room again but into Scorpius’ personal quarters. Still in chains, Crichton didn’t even flinch when Scorpius hissed from behind him.
“Welcome back, John. I hope you’ve rested well.”
“No rest for the wicked, Scorp, you oughtta know that by now,” Crichton sneered. “Where’s Aeryn?”
“She’s unharmed.”
“That doesn’t tell me where she is.” Crichton’s bloodshot eyes narrowed. “Where – is – Aeryn?”
“I’m here, Crichton.” Aeryn’s voice drifted from a darkened corner of the room before she came into the light, where he could see she had no restraints on her wrists. “And Scorpius is correct, I’m fine.” She actually smiled, slightly. The hair on the back of John’s neck began to stand up. ‘Hoo boy,’ he thought. ‘What’s he done to her?’
Slithering round his prey, Scorpius circled between Crichton and Aeryn, benevolently explaining the situation. “John, Officer Sun has made a decision – of her own accord, I might add, that will not only once again save your life but also eliminate my need for your brain, enjoyable as the pursuit has been.”
Crichton snorted in derision. “Sure, whatever.”
“I’m quite serious, John. It’s a wonderfully simple arrangement that benefits all of us, for once. Very rarely does anything work out to such a delightful conclusion.”
John’s stomach began to turn. “Careful, Scorp, you’re beginning to drool,” he chided, but Scorpius ignored the barb as if he’d never spoken. “I’m not sure I know quite what to do next, being so inexperienced at happy endings.”
It always made Crichton extra nervous when Scorpius licked his chops. “Well, let’s have us a party, man!” he drawled, sardonic as usual. “I’ll get the beer, you run and fetch all your spare cooling rods – got to have ice-cold beer or the neighbors will talk, you know.”
Scorpius seemed to know just how to counter Crichton’s bravado. He paused, standing uncomfortably close to Aeryn and leering, just enough for Crichton to notice. Before Crichton could draw another breath to react, she interrupted.
“You might begin by having the guards escort Crichton back to the pod and allowing him safe passage to Moya. That is a crucial part of the arrangement.” She didn’t look at Crichton. She didn’t have to.
He walked purposefully to within inches of her face. “Aeryn, I’m not going anywhere without you.” She knew he meant it.
“That, of course, is your choice, John,” Scorpius began, but Aeryn would have no part of it. “No, it isn’t. You’ll have no cooperation from me without his immediate return to Moya.”
“WHAT cooperation?! She doesn’t know anything at all about wormholes, Scorpius, she’s just playing you to get me released. Forget it, Aeryn!”
“Ah, but that is where you are once again wrong, John,” Scorpius corrected him. “Officer Sun has been very helpful already, and will continue to be – as a reinstated Peacekeeper officer under my command.”
Aeryn stared straight ahead, refusing to meet Crichton’s eyes. Those eyes….
She closed her own, much in the same way she had closed John’s on that awful day. This was her own death, of a sort. Once again, there was no other option.
Crichton barely heard Scorpius explain the deal Aeryn had cut with him. Crichton, Moya and the crew, in exchange for information on Furlow and John’s module. And herself, of course. She had even convinced Scorpius she knew the approximate location of the Ancient’s home world.
A bluff. And Scorpius was buying it. Why?
When she opened her eyes, Aeryn’s breath caught. Crichton stood directly in front of her again, his blue eyes boring into her own. And she knew, in his eyes, that he didn’t believe it.
She took a deep breath. “I am what I was born to be, Crichton. I am a Peacekeeper. It is my choice.” She stared at him as coldly as she possibly could. “If High Command needs wormhole technology, then as a Peacekeeper, I am bound to use whatever methods at my disposal to fulfill my duty.”
For once, the Human was at a loss for words. When he found them, he might as well have used a sword.
“I guess I have my answer now, don’t I? What was I thinking, anyway? A Human, and a Sebacean – what a joke. Can’t have inferior blood infecting a superior being, now, can we? Obviously he – I – wasn’t worth it.” Aeryn had never seen Crichton so bitterly resigned.
Crichton turned to Scorpius. “Turn out the lights, Scorp, the party’s over. Take me to Moya.”
The pod pulled out of the docking bay of the command carrier. There was no communication from John Crichton, but Aeryn knew he was on board. ‘Well,’ she mused, ‘that was easy enough.’
“Safely away, Officer Sun, as requested.” Oh, yes. Scorpius. Absorbed in her own thoughts of how quickly Crichton had believed her admission of betrayal, her attention had been diverted.
Only momentarily, however. Scorpius was never one to be ignored for long. “Your ruse seems to have succeeded. It will be interesting to see the results of this little experiment you’ve set in motion.”
Aeryn stared straight ahead at the screen as the pod faded from view. So, she wasn’t as clever as she had thought, after all. But what did Scorpius mean by experiment? A knot began to grow in the pit of her stomach.
Scorpius’ tone was condescending. “Rather disheartening, isn’t it, to know he’s so eager to accept that you’d return to the Peacekeepers rather than succumb to his charms?” Scorpius sidled up next to her, immensely enjoying the prospect of her impending torment. “Or is he? Our Human is a stubborn fool. You don’t know John Crichton as well as you presume.”
Aeryn itched to subdue his arrogance. “Neither do you,” she sneered.
Nothing she could say would crack his self-assurance. “Perhaps. But I know that your performance was intended to send Crichton crawling away from you, defeated and broken hearted. Glorious, I must say, watching you tear the spirit from his chest and trample it beneath your boots. But enough basking. It’s time for truth.”
“Wasn’t a performance. Furlow does have wormhole knowledge; she successfully created and navigated a wormhole. I am…a Peacekeeper. Whether or not I am truly reinstated is up to you.”
“And the location of the Ancient’s home world, Officer Sun? A diversionary tactic only.” Scorpius’ eyes bored into hers, the warmth of his breath on her face and sweat beginning to drip from his brow. Fascinatingly repulsive, she found him. And terrifying. “Let’s speak frankly, shall we? Or is it on to the interrogation room?”
Aeryn shuddered internally, and quietly marveled at how he could issue a threat as benignly as a dinner invitation.
She hadn’t been aware she could feel fear again, until she’d seen Crichton, pale and bloodied, barely breathing after they’d tossed him like a corpse onto the cell floor next to her. It had been only then that Aeryn realized, no matter whether Scorpius ever succeeded in getting what he wanted from John Crichton, he would never tire of the hunt.
She steeled her resolve. “It served the purpose. Crichton is out of your grasp once again.”
“Oh, yes, your great and noble hero wasted no time in abandoning you,” he taunted her. “Unfortunately for him, it will be temporary abandonment only. He will come for you.”
Aeryn’s blood turned cold. She tried to convince herself as much as Scorpius. “I’ve betrayed him. He won’t come.”
Scorpius always did enjoy making his prey squirm. “Have you forgotten the chip? I know things about the inner workings of Crichton’s mind that you will never begin to understand. If he does not believe your profession of allegiance to the Peacekeepers, he will come for you. If he truly believes you have betrayed him, I assure you, he will come for you…with a vengeance.”
D’Argo had experienced many things because of John Crichton, but guilt was becoming too familiar.
Crichton was running from Command to the docking bay on Moya, with D’Argo not ten steps behind, trying to conduct a rational conversation with him – unsuccessfully, as usual. Crichton turned and practically snarled in D’Argo’s face. “If you had listened to me in the first place and let us take your ship, it would’ve gone down exactly as planned!”
D’Argo rolled his eyes and huffed, “John, when has it EVER gone down exactly as planned?”
Crichton was in no mood for humor. “D’Argo, I’m going to get her. I’m not going to let her do this.”
In the docking bay, Crais paced impatiently, pondering how he could have ever believed that this band of ill-begotten miscreants could pull off infiltrating a Peacekeeper Command Carrier, and cursing himself for throwing in his lot to try it again.
Crichton and D’Argo reached the bay at the same time as Chiana and Jool. D’Argo cocked his head at them. “Where do you two think you’re going?”
“Oh, we’re going along to watch three big, strong, warrior heroes – that’s you guys – rescue Aeryn,” chirped the Nebari vixen. “Just drop us off on Talyn. Then Jool and I will come and get all four of your butts out of the hole you dig for yourselves.”
Arms crossed, Jool chimed in as well. “With any luck, Pilot, Rygel and Moya will be back in time to save all our butts.”
Crichton looked at Crais, who shrugged his shoulders in resignation. They all turned to the Luxan. He growled once and placed his hand on the control panel to open the hatch.
Crais picked up a load of extra weapons, climbed the stairs and disappeared into the back, scowling as the women trailed after him. John packed up the extra ammunition and followed the others. D’Argo stood in the bay, hesitating to say what he was thinking. “John…”
Crichton stuck his head out of the hatch. “WHAT?”
“What if…she wants to do this?”
“She doesn’t! Anything else? No? What are you waiting for?”
D’Argo sighed heavily, mounted the steps and sat in the pilot seat of his ancestral warship. He knew exactly what Aeryn was doing. Why couldn’t John see it? “If she does….”
Crichton set his jaw, a gesture D’Argo knew all too well. He wished he hadn’t asked.
“She’ll have to kill me to do it.”
Aeryn studied her image in the mirror. Dressed in full Peacekeeper officer uniform, with the notable exception of a pulse pistol at her side. Trust was hard won with Scorpius, and yet, he had entered her full reinstatement into the databanks and sent the communication to High Command. Whatever his game was, he was convincing at it.
As she would have to be, also. While on her way to her assigned quarters, Aeryn had passed a security detail unit, escorting a prisoner to the cells in the lower levels. How many thousands of times as a Peacekeeper had she witnessed the same scene, or been one of the officers assigned to such a detail? She couldn’t count. But this time, Aeryn found herself staring. The prisoner was Delvian, and all Aeryn could see was Zhaan.
At the time, she did nothing more than reflect momentarily on the bitter irony of life and death. She had looked away from that prisoner to find Scorpius studying her, not so much suspiciously but rather as he would a lab specimen.
Aeryn knew he would test her, try to trap her. What a waste of time. She’d made her decision and sealed her own fate. What did it matter what her motivation was?
Her only concern was that Scorpius was right about Crichton. The last thing she needed was for him to come charging to her rescue. That was the last thing she needed. Right. The last thing.
And he wouldn’t, she told herself. Even if he wanted to, the others – Chiana, Jool, Rygel, perhaps even D’Argo – they would all convince him to let her go. He would listen to them. She was sure of it. Right. Sure.
“Contemplation….”
Aeryn jumped at the sound of Scorpius’ voice from her doorway.
“…will drive you to distraction.” He motioned for a tech to bring in a food tray and set it on Aeryn’s bunk. “Of course, it also works to the advantage of anyone who wants to catch you…off guard, shall we say?”
Aeryn decided forthrightness was her best defense. “Frell you, Scorpius!” He shocked her by laughing out loud at her outburst, delighted with such refreshing honesty. She turned from the mirror to face him.
“No wonder the Human couldn’t resist you, Aeryn, with that shrewish tongue of yours. He’s constantly seeking torment, and you provided it for him much more deliciously than I ever could!”
“And I succeeded without even trying, as opposed to your best efforts which failed time after time, in front of a full audience of Peacekeeper Command.” She smiled serenely while Scorpius’ smile faded slightly.
“Yesss, well…thus far, at any rate.” Aeryn’s smugness was diminished a bit, as Scorpius had wanted. How she loathed him!
“Be careful, Officer Sun. My favor will evaporate like a mist if you are treacherous.”
“Where would I go, sir, in my treachery? Back to those who already believe me to be a traitor? The only reason I have to fear you is for my own life, which I hold in low esteem; therefore, your threats carry no weight with me. I think it is you who should be careful.”
“Why is that, Officer Sun?” Scorpius was enjoying this far too much.
Aeryn’s smile vanished. Her tone was flat. “The only thing I have left is ambition. I want you to answer to me one day very soon…sir.”
“Ha! It’s a match, then! How delightful. You may actually prove a challenge, and a charmingly distracting one at that.” He turned to leave her room.
“Scorpius,” she started. At her door, he turned his head only slightly in her direction.
“Remember what you advised me about distractions.”
Crichton stared at the red and gray walls of Talyn’s docking bay; the control panels of D’Argo’s ship, none of which he could read; Winona; his fingernails, badly in need of cleaning. Anything for a distraction, to take his mind off of her.
He didn’t want to be there, where they’d been together. Where they had connected. Where he, the other guy, had died in her arms. Crichton had never felt comfortable on Talyn before all this mind-bending dren, but now…well, now being aboard Talyn was like walking across a grave that bore his own name.
And whereas Moya was soothing and calm, Talyn always seemed like he’d had too much caffeine. Everything was always revved, ready to rumble, pulsing with energy. Moya was graceful, but Talyn was…sensual. No wonder he and Aeryn….
‘Nope, don’t go down that road,’ Crichton scolded himself.
She had loved him, that was obvious. She’d finally let herself love John Crichton, and then she lost him. What if she never let herself take that chance again?
What if she did want to return to the Peacekeepers? What if she DID? Unless Scorpius was lying, this was the first opportunity she’d had to have the charges against her dropped. The mood she was in at this point, maybe she truly believed this was what she wanted.
What would she do when he tried to stop her?
‘Ah, shut up, man! What are you doing, changing your mind about this? Not gonna happen, pal.’ Crichton could actually visualize a little winged John in white on his right and a little Scorpy John on his left, duking it out over who’d win this battle. Enough of this crap! He commed D’Argo. “What are they doing, redecorating? Let’s go!”
“On our way, John,” replied D’Argo as he and Crais headed from Command. “Try to stay out of trouble, please,” D’Argo reminded Chiana. “I will if you will,” she retorted.
As the warship pulled out of Talyn’s bay, Crichton remained unusually silent. The Luxan studied him. Regardless of his lack of enthusiasm for this entire plan, which had turned into a fiasco, as expected, D’Argo had never entertained a thought about abandoning his friend. John had proven himself loyal and honorable; his dedication to his cause, and to Aeryn, could not be faulted.
D’Argo only hoped that Aeryn would once again prove worthy of Crichton’s faith in her.
Aeryn went nowhere without the presence of a guard unit. Not one, but two very young officers came to her private quarters to escort her to Command.
Not that it mattered to her, but Aeryn noticed these two seemed to hold no opinion of her, or at least not the contempt she’d seen in so many other officers’ eyes. They were casual enough to hold a conversation with each other, as though she wasn’t there. One was in pilot training. The other was obviously envious.
“I don’t understand it; my marks were as high as yours,” complained the young male soldier to his female companion.
“It’s more than marks, and you know it. It takes an intuitive feel for the craft, an instinct for it. You’ve either got it, or you don’t. You might as well withdraw your application.” The pilot seemed to be unaware of her own conceit, it seemed to Aeryn, until she recalled having a strikingly similar conversation with a fellow officer several cycles past.
In fact, as Aeryn remembered it, her remarks had been even more cutting and abrasive. In a flash, she was out on that ledge with Xhalax again. ‘We Peacekeepers think we are so remarkable, and yet I’ve realized…we do nothing for love.’ Not even for kindness, she had to add now. But what does kindness get you as a Peacekeeper, anyway, where everything is about superiority?
They passed a female tech working on a conduit. Without warning, the female officer reached out and struck the tech, forcing her into the sharp side of the conduit door. As the tech fell to her knees, dazed, the officer viciously kicked her side twice, sending her sprawling on the floor in pain.
Aeryn bolted to the officer and pinned her to the wall. “What the FRELL are you doing?!” she demanded, but the male guard had by then grabbed Aeryn’s elbows behind her to subdue her. Aeryn shoved him off of her, immediately defensive. “I SAID, what’s this all about?”
The male soldier snarled at her. “Officer Sun, surely you know better than to interfere in a disciplinary matter!”
“Where in regulations does discipline include an unprovoked attack and beating without Command authorization?” Aeryn countered.
The female officer glared at Aeryn. “If you’re so concerned about one tech, perhaps you’re not as ready for Peacekeeper duty as Command thinks. Why don’t you discuss it with Scorpius? Now, back off!”
The officer turned back to the tech and grabbed her by the collar to bring her into a sitting position. Blood oozed from a gash on her brow. The officer hissed in the tech’s face, something about how slow the tech had been last time preparing a prowler for flight. With one last shove, the young pilot resumed her guard duty, and marched down the corridor with renewed vigor.
Aeryn glanced back at the tech, who struggled to get to her feet. Just a tech. Aeryn herself would have shown little mercy for any tech, until one had taught her something about selflessness and courage. Perhaps this tech was another who would go to extraordinary measures to save the life of someone who had not earned such a sacrifice.
Aeryn quickly closed her mind and heart to such memories. She was silent the rest of the way to Command.
Lieutenant Braca was one who could not hide his contempt every time he looked at Officer Sun. Ever since her defection over three cycles ago, he’d regarded her as the ultimate traitor. It rankled him that Scorpius had exonerated her, dismissing all charges and reinstating her full commission as officer. He’d been bold enough to protest the action with Scorpius, but he’d also learned to not argue with his commanding officer once his mind was made up. Instead, Braca dealt with his frustration by snubbing her every chance he got.
“Sir, I don’t believe she has security clearance for this area,” he began when he saw Aeryn by Scorpius’ side as they entered the Wormhole Bay Laboratory. He was cut short by Scorpius’ raised hand.
“I’ve upgraded her security clearance, Lt. Braca, as your reports would inform you if you read them on a regular basis. Officer Sun’s presence here is acceptable for as long as she has relevance to this project. Please become accustomed to that fact.” Scorpius’ tone finally silenced Braca’s protests. The lieutenant knew he’d pushed as far as he could on the Sun issue.
Aeryn couldn’t resist. “Please, Lt. Braca, let’s be civilized about this. After all, we’re on the same team now. If I prove to be the traitor you presume, I’m sure Scorpius won’t hesitate to throw you the bone before the rest of the dogs are released.” She smiled ever so subtly. As predicted, Braca bristled but remained silent.
Scorpius sighed in exasperation. “There is no point in making things more difficult for yourself than they already are, Officer Sun. I strongly suggest you refrain from giving your fellow officers further reason to plot your demise.”
Aeryn’s brow raised in mock consternation. “Sir, I had no reason to suspect any of your officers would disobey your direct orders.”
Scorpius didn’t miss a beat. “They wouldn’t.” His lowered tone made the threat all the more sinister, and she took a step back, properly subdued for the moment.
Satisfied, Scorpius placed a gloved finger under her chin and lifted it slightly. Running the finger along her jawline, his breath once again warm on her face: “On to our work, then, Officer Sun?” Aeryn fought the urge to shudder in revulsion.
A young lieutenant interrupted. “Sir, the recognizance team is returning. They report the Leviathan Moya has starburst away, but there are still signals of another Leviathan in the sector. We haven’t been able to get an accurate reading, but we believe it may be the hybrid, Talyn.” Aeryn started, only slightly, but cursed herself for showing any reaction.
Scorpius seemed only mildly interested. He glanced at Aeryn. “And Crais?” Before the lieutenant could reply, Aeryn offered the information. “Crais was aboard Moya when I left, sir. His part of the plan was to back Crichton up with Talyn, but I don’t believe Moya would starburst away without Talyn.”
Scorpius nearly always knew when she was not saying something. “Really? And why is that?”
Aeryn swallowed hard. This was more than she’d wanted to tell him. “Crais’ control over Talyn has been strained recently, sir.”
“Now that IS interesting.” Scorpius’ eyes widened as he contemplated this development. “The prodigy outgrowing the master, you say? Perhaps the youngling needs a new master.”
Aeryn’s stomach nearly convulsed at the thought of Talyn in Scorpius’ hands, but she was becoming flawless in her portrayal of cool indifference. “Sir, if I may, I believe that pursuing Talyn at this time is not in line with your priorities, as you have explained them. Talyn has been bonded with Crais, and would take considerable time and training to bond with a new captain….”
“Unless that captain was someone with whom he was already familiar, such as yourself,” Scorpius finished for her. Aeryn was genuinely surprised, and didn’t hide it.
“Me? I mean, sir – me?”
“Oh, I’m sure you’re quite correct that Talyn is nowhere near this system, so we’re speaking hypothetically, but as you’ve had experience with Talyn since his birth, it would seem logical that you would be the one to command him – under my leadership, of course.” Scorpius let the import of his remarks sink in with her, while Braca boiled silently in the background.
Aeryn struggled momentarily to hold back the memories of Talyn. Scorpius mistook it for suspicion. “You’re correct in thinking I don’t trust you, Officer Sun, because, of course, I don’t. Not yet. But you will have ample opportunity to prove yourself before any of this theoretical plot thickens. Now, can we concentrate on the ‘priority’ at hand, as you have reminded me, Officer?”
The docking bay doors closed with a deafening roar several microts after the last prowler landed. Pilots disembarked, growling orders at Maintenance Techs, who scurried to get repairs and refueling done.
“I tell you, she’s not here to rejoin the Peacekeepers,” one dark-haired male tech whispered to a small group of his coworkers. “There’s no way.”
“Oh, and you know that for a fact, eh? Such good friends with her you know her every motive?” asked a female tech to the first.
“Why else would she try to help a tech, putting her own neck at risk? Sazcha said that soldier might have killed her if Aeryn Sun hadn’t stopped her.” He looked around the group, waiting for one of them to offer a reason why an officer would defend a tech. No one could explain it.
He looked back to the female tech. “Gilina wasn’t wrong, Zandran. She believed in these people.”
“That may be,” argued Zandran, “but it doesn’t explain why she’s working with Scorpius. Look, Ephron, just do your work and forget about Aeryn Sun. She’s not part of the plan and probably never would be.”
Another young tech chimed in. “I agree with Ephron. Everything they’ve done in the past two cycles alone tells us she’d never come back willingly. Perhaps Gilina convinced them to help us.”
“Gilina was already long gone with them before we even started planning any of it,” said Zandran.
“I think I’d know better than any of you what Gilina would do,” said Ephron. Duly chastised, the others grew silent. Ephron continued. “We don’t know enough yet. Let’s just keep our eyes open, shall we? If an opportunity presents itself, we’ll take it.” The group returned to work.
No one noticed an extra pair of officers make their way through the bay to the interior corridors of the command carrier.
Aeryn relaxed for the first time in forty arns as the steaming water pounded her shoulders. Her private quarters included her own washing facilities – a luxury usually afforded only to the highest ranking officers.
She knew Scorpius was waiting for the slightest hint that she was being duplicitous. The mental image of cooling rods overheating in anticipation made her actually smile. Crichton. His quirky sense of humor was second nature to her, in spite of her best efforts.
The game she played was exhausting. Resuming the stances, gestures, duties of a Peacekeeper officer; concealing enough of her motives and thoughts to keep Scorpius’ suspicions at bay while truthfully revealing some of her experiences aboard Moya and Talyn; providing enough information to keep Scorpius interested.
Traitor, she was. She’d told him as much as she knew about Neeyala’s wormhole research vessel. She’d given him enough information to track down Furlow. She’d maneuvered her way around revealing everything, though, about Jack, and….
Well, it was enough. Enough to keep her in his good graces, at least for now. She couldn’t let her real plans, her true emotions show through, couldn’t even think about them while in his presence. The strain of controlling her thoughts had taken every bit of her strength. Aeryn had been trained to deal with battle fatigue, few rations, no sleep. But this game – this was all strategy.
She would never understand how Crichton could enjoy his strange game of chess this much.
Aeryn scrubbed her skin and hair, determined to get the sickening stench of blood and flesh out of her nostrils. The look of that pilot, with his face splitting open, his lungs gasping for air and choking up blood as he stumbled from the cockpit of the test prowler – her shock and dismay was matched only by Scorpius’ complete lack of concern for the welfare of the dying wormhole pilot. He’d been angrier about the time and effort wasted on yet another failed wormhole experiment.
It had taken monumental effort to keep the disgust from showing in her eyes. She hadn’t wanted to remember how expendable a Peacekeeper’s life was to High Command, to a Commanding Officer, even to fellow officers who saw death as one less competitor in the race to a promotion, a coveted detail unit, a distinguishing mark on a report. But how could she have forgotten in only three cycles how cutthroat and callous a Peacekeeper’s life could be?
Until she realized she hadn’t forgotten anything. She no longer saw a Peacekeeper’s life through the same eyes as she had three cycles ago. Everything had changed. Aeryn had changed.
She’d been raised as though blind to kindness, compassion; as though the instinctive yearnings for family and friendship didn’t exist. Those instincts were drilled out of a Peacekeeper from an early age. Giving in to those yearnings meant weakness, vulnerability – death.
As her muscles eased, Aeryn’s mind wandered also. She’d never known a gentle, maternal touch until Zhaan’s soothing ministrations had healed and restored her, too many times to recall. In Unity, Zhaan’s peaceful spirit had wrapped around her own to breathe life back into her body. And when the time came for Zhaan to release her own life, she had done so with grace and forgiveness.
Aeryn remembered the sharing of meals in the warm cocoon that was Moya. The joy on D’Argo’s face when he realized his lost son was found at last. The burgeoning elation that came with the sweetness of John’s kiss, when she knew she could bear his child.
As empty as John’s death had left her, Aeryn could not force herself to forget everything she had learned.
But what a curse such knowledge bore, also. It had opened her eyes and her heart to the possibilities of life, and made her long for them. Her mother had also yearned for love. Reaching for that bounty while still a Peacekeeper had cost her everything, and had made her bitter and twisted.
Reluctantly Aeryn turned off the water. Unbidden memories of the last shower she had shared with John flooded over her. His fingers running through her hair, his teeth gently nibbling at her neck while the water had streamed in rivulets down their entwined bodies….
Frell, this would never do. Not if she was to keep it together long enough to….
What was that? Aeryn grabbed a cloth as cover and stepped from the shower. She was sure she’d heard something from the next room…damn that Scorpius, no pistol, nothing to – again, the slightest shift of muffled footsteps. She had nothing, not even her boots to use as defense.
A shadow fell on the wall. Instinctively, Aeryn attacked, knocking the intruder to the floor. She fled towards the door, but her assailant grabbed her ankle and she fell hard onto her bunk. Before she could turn over, he was upon her, pinning her face down.
She knew who it was before he even spoke. “Aeryn, it’s me! It’s me! Stop fighting before we bring the entire brigade down on our heads!”
Of course. She groaned. “Oh, no. Ohhh, NO!”
“Missed me, didn’t ya?” As he released her, she flipped over underneath him to come face to face with those brilliant blue eyes. Damn him.
“You IDIOT!” Why was her heart soaring at the same time her stomach was sinking? “I don’t know how the frell you got in here, but you’d better be able to get yourself out the same way. I’m watched constantly, monitored everywhere I go. I think Braca himself has taken to sleeping under my bunk.”
“As long as he’s not in it. Then I’d have to kill him, which I’d just HATE.” Crichton was always Crichton: a grinning idiot.
She told herself it was the chill of her wet skin and hair that made her shiver. “Did Scorpius remove most of your brain along with that chip? You still have the neural clone, didn’t he tell you that Scorpius is just waiting for you to do this?”
“Yes, he did. But I haven’t listened to Harvey since D’Argo tried to make mincemeat out of what’s left of my brain. Now, as much as I enjoy the view from here, grab your clothes so we can get out of here.”
Aeryn shoved him off of her, pulling the cloth over to cover her bare skin. She flew from the bed to her clothing and pulled them on without a word, fully aware he was watching unabashed the whole time. When she turned around he was standing, the smile gone. Something else had replaced it: longing. Oh, how he looked at her!
“I’m not going with you, Crichton. This is where I belong now.”
He took a step toward her. “Remember what you told Pilot? ‘Take the journey with me,’ you said. Why’d you say that?”
The memories of that event flooded back to her, but only registered externally by the slightest twitch of her brow.
He took another step closer. “You wanted to take the journey back then because you didn’t want to go back to where you were before. Maybe you didn’t know it could get this hard. It’s not something anyone else can get you ready for. There’s no getting ready for the hard part. You just take it when it comes.”
How stupid this Human could be! “It’s not your place to instruct me in ‘taking’ my pain. This IS how I ‘take’ it.” She reached far down within herself to maintain control. Her voice was low but unsteady. “John made a choice. He chose to sacrifice himself so that others could live. I know that you would do the same. Well, now the choice is mine. I want you to live.”
Crichton’s heart leapt. She wanted him to live! He knew she was struggling. He was very careful when he answered her.
“I want to live, too. But I want to live with dignity, honor – love. I want to live trying to do what I know to be right and true. Anything less than that is no kind of life at all. And you wouldn’t be able to love any John Crichton who could settle for anything less.”
“High ideals, Crichton. Are you the only one allowed to die for his principles while the rest of us must live with your legacy? You came for me, willing to sacrifice yourself to ‘save’ me from my own choice. It never occurred to you to honor MY sacrifice!”
Their voices grew louder. “Did HE have any other option? I fight for my life. I can’t believe he gave up his life, and you, unless there was no other way. What you’re doing isn’t fighting for life, it’s surrendering to it!”
Her eyes flashed. “You are arrogant, Crichton, and always so. Why must my choices be determined by what you want for me?”
The sting of that truth hit him full in the face. Momentarily stunned, his expression changed to confusion, and then sorrow as he thought about the answer to her question. “You’re right. I am arrogant. I made the assumption that you needed me as much as I need you. Was I wrong?”
Aeryn remembered needing John. Showing Talyn they needed each other. Her eyes softened. He saw the tenderness, the conflicting emotions. He took another step toward her.
Before she could answer, the door to her chambers flew open and soldiers fell on Crichton with rabid vengeance. She stood, motionless, as they chained him and dragged him out into the corridor.
