Thoughts

fo shizzle, my dizzles

August 31, 2001

"jab thujhe meine dheka nahin taa.....is tharha meine socha nahin thaaa......jab thujhe meine dheka nahii thaa.....is tharha meine sochaaaa nahi thaa......koi bhi kuch bhi aisa nahii thaaaaaa.......koi bhi therey jaisaaa nahiiiii thaaaaaaa............jab tujhe meine dheka to jaaaaaaanaaaaaaaa...............khhhhhooooobsurat hai kitna zamaaaaaaanaaaaaaaaa......khoobsurat hai kitna zamaaanaaaaaaaaaaaaa."  been in my head all day...sung it outloud on the way to school...and back.  anyhoo...we had a pep-rally today...it SUCKED!!  ................the cheerleaders, today, put britney spears' mtv awards performance to SHAME!  ok..here's where my confusion and dumbfoudness lays.......the cheerleaders can dance like a bunch of hookers in a strip joint (yeah, it's cool if they get down with their "bad" selves.........but they seriously went WAAAAAYY too far this time...) and grossly arouse all the teenage males in the school for the sake of school spirit, and they get no punishment......yet, if one of us sharif people has our shirt un-tucked....it's detention.....???????????  would someone like to explain why this is???

August 30, 2001

I'm sleepy............"pyaar ishq aur, mohabbat.................Pyaar ishqqqqqqq aur, mohabbat"......best part of the song= "hum ko bhi rog lag jayee agar.......aisa ho, to ho kya, aisa kyu ho magarrr...jis ne bhi yeh dil diya...jis ne bhi yeh gham liya.......kuch na poocho iske baate, lambe lambe kaali raate......us ki aaaaanko mein neend rukhsath...ho jaaaathiii haiiiii.......PYAAR ISHQ AUR MOHABBAT!"

August 29, 2001

ok...........................................i'm still in shock.  car wrecks......wastebaskets.....highways....  (oh my!)  i woke up rather happily this morning.  i dreamt that it was the last day of school......and i was passing by mr. campbell's room to say ta ta bye bye (i have no idea why...perhaps because i spent the most time studying for that godforsaken class)..... then my alarm clock went off!!!!!!!!!  imagine my dissapointment to learn that i had to go back to school after my lovely dream!  but i wasn't in a bad  mood, however, due to the fact that i had a great song in my head.........."jaana suno hum tum pe marte hai......tum se mohabbat kar tey haiiiiii...........chahat mere haseeen.....koi gunaa hi nahii......yeh jo mohabbat hai.....yahi to ibadat haii.............to phir aaaauuuuuu.....pyar mein jalaeyy dilll...........jal ke bhuj na payee dil...hai upne manzil.....yahi pe aa, ab kahin na jaaa.....tum kahi bhi jaaao yahi pe hai aaanaaa......ke dil ka dil hai, tikaanaaa........jaana suno hum tum pe martey hai"  i repeated this in the depths of my head throughout the day, singing it on the way to school......in comp apps, and on the way home from school.  the day was as usual.  the cal quiz was easy.....and i passed my test with flying colors.... :-D  came home, ate, and watched some of dil kya kare.   :-D  plus, since we had quiz in cal= no homework for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  hahahahahaha!!!!!!! ............................................................this has been one of those eye opening weeks......when God kinda like slaps you upside the head and goes, "wake up, stupid!"  the death of aaliyah.....coach black's lecture on life in current issues(which, surprisingly, had great depth and insight)........and the car wreck/wastebasket/highway/Azzi thing......all combine in God's plan as he woke me up.....  :-D

August 28, 2001

This has been a SLOOOOOOOOOOOW week.  my day=pakore.  in chem II we did chem I......in computer apps, finished typing in 5 min, then slept the rest of the time.  i didn't really sleep, i just thought.  what i was thinking of, i shall not disclose because i know that people actually read this.  :-D  (nothing bad, just so stupid it would make me look even dumber than i already do!).. in current issues, we learned some life lessons.....in lit.....hmm.....what did we do.....we got our essays back...heehehee, all the happiness i felt in that class yesterday was shattered as i saw my essay grade.  :-(  we made line graphs in physics.......and no quiz in calculus....we (when i say we, i include the entire class, as well as the teacher) just played with the TI89 calculators like all math geeks with free time do.  nhs meeting as well......so now i'm sitting here.  kambakth is my new favorite word........no matter how big you think your problems are...they are ALWAYS miniscule compared to those of others......my biggest problem as of now is my itchy eye.....caused my that damn mascara i wore yesterday! :-( i feel like a jackass.....i'm breaking out with a rash on my arms and neck......

 

August 27, 2001

Almost september...yay!  so...here's my day:  in chem II, we weighed pennies.....in keyboarding, we typed on, get this, MICROSOFT WORD!!  wow, we're getting REALLY advanced now  ;-)  In current issues, we watched a video on people dying...in lit, we analyzed the syntax of a passage about a lopsided girl...and my teacher said "boobs."  :-o  we also got our test for jane eyre back.....guess who got the highest score in the class...........the same person that had one of the lowest grades on the last one :-).....(dat's me) ......reading the book helps a lot. :-D  in physics...we did physics......and in cal...we all got confused.  :-D  same ol' same ol'.  i must go take my stupid pictures today at 6.....then i must mourn the fact that i'm gonna fail the ap cal quiz which is not wed, but tomorrow..............(about 5 hrs later)........ok, back from everything...i must say, i have a newfound respect for models, actors/actresses/etc.....i've never felt like a bigger ass than i did today.....the photographers put me in the gayest little poses...i shall burn the pictures at their arrival. anyhoo...reguardless of my picture-taking experience.....i'm in a good mood. why you ask? because i did my cal hw.....and get this....it was EASY! plus, i just finished some pringles...and the sour cream and onion goodness is fermenting in my mouth as bad breath :-D  

August 26, 2001

You really don't expect people like Aaliyah (the singer) to just die...that's just wrong. I don't wanna go to school tomorrow.....and i don't wanna take my stupid pictures either...and i don't wanna go to the nhs meeting on tuesday, nor do i want to take a quiz in ap cal on wednesday...nor do i want to go to the godforsaken pep-rally on friday. However, i do get to stay home next monday :-)

August 25, 2001

Ok, so i figured if i saw yaadein again for the 2nd time, i would like it better, since the first time there were too many distractions, and i couldn't really concentrate on it.   but no...it still sucked.  Of course it's not as bad as all the critics say it is...but come on...kareena kapoor being chased by an alligator.....that's just pathetic! Shoo, i'd rather watch pyaar ishq aur mohabbat! :-D People still stink like poo, in my opinion.  

August 24, 2001

Another day of sheer poop.  Nothing else...just poop.  Going to bed last night, i coulda sworn that the next morning was gonna be a saturday....but when my damn alarm clock went off...it poisoned the rest of my day.  :-(  i still don't like people too much...but i guess going to a school full of morons who don't know how to walk (the ones that throng to the beginning of the math and language hall...and just STAND THERE!!1)  helps my level of tolerance.  I need to go watch an indian movie. i forgot to mention my depressing thoughts in ap lit today. so i was sitting there while mrs. shrout was talking...she spoke of how the girls in jane eyre starved at lowood...and how most american kids couldn't handle it.....that got me to thinking of the morning that i was in kalam pakistan. It was a sunny day...warm, yet not hot...the sun actually felt welcome to me (this is not a normal thing for me, i always get sunburned!) anyhoo...i got up...walked around with my little cuzs and took pictures. Then the whole family had breakfast outside...HALWA, PURI, AND CHOLE!!! damn....just imagine eating halwa puri and chole outside in the fresh, warm morning air with your family...amongst glacier-topped mountains...an icy, clear, silvery river rushing mere feet away from you, cutting through emerald green valleys....damn! imagine my immense sense of dissapointment when i woke up from my dream-like memories, and was suddenly aware of my reality...sitting in a gray, cold classroom while mrs. shrout spoke of diction and style in our worthless essays. :-(

August 23, 2001

Hmmm............"aate jaate" from maine pyar kiya is the greatest song.  Anyhoo......my day was rather pleasant and interesante.  I normally feel trapped and sad at school...but today.......had a jane eyre test.....going into it, i felt like this(the reflection in the eyes being a manifestation of the beast that is ap lit!) ........but i think i did ok!!!!!!  :-D  in ap calculus......we were actually TAUGHT SOMETHING!!!!!  I  never thought i'd be saying this, but it was superbly groovy to be taking NOTES and being TAUGHT stuff that actually started to make SENSE  in my brain. :-D  Here's me during ap calculus today...and here's my expression driving home from school.  So now, i'm just jolly  :-D

(if for some reason those links don't work.....come here, and here, and use your imagination)

August 22, 2001

It's been one of those days where nothing happened...nothing phunny, nor sad, nor bad...just NOTHING!!!.  I'm tired, but i can't sleep.....thank god it's wednesday, and only 2 more days left!!!!!!!!!!!..............some folks are "worry warts".......i suppose that would make me a worry CYST!!!!

August 21, 2001

Hmmmmmmm......all i can say is that i can't WAIT to get the hell away from these animals called "people." i eating pakorae...now i'm full.  i full, and i prolly failed the ap cal test today.  :-(  but thank god for homework grades and ap curves  :-D  i'm dizzy, and i wanna sleep.....but everytime i try, i just end up looking at my bedroom cieling and singing desi songs in my head  :-( ........................................the enourmous weight of that monsterous beast entitled school is currently crushing my mind to a fine pulp, changing my whole existence. The uzma that we all know and love...or i should say hate...will return come May 18th, 2002 :-D

August 20, 2001

My breafth stank cause i juss had a sandwhich with onions......anyhoo, i don't think i've ever felt as stupid in school as i did today.  All through school, i've had confidence in lit class.....now,  all of that confidence in me...is ripped apart...stomped on .....and bled to death on the floor.  HMMPFH!!!!!!!  get the hampster dance remix on kazaa, it' s TIGHT!!  not to mention ap calculus...i don't know why the hell i took an ap math class considering i've sucked at the damn subject all my life.  anyhoo...nothing phunny happened today.....hmm...no....nothing.  i think i will go pop a tic tac now  :-D  speaking of which, i found a coupon for tic tacs in the sunday paper.  yay  :-p

 

August 19, 2001

"Apni yaaaadooooo ko chooor na jaaanaaa........apne vaadooooo ko thooor na jaanaaaaaa....jaanaa mein hu theraaa dewaaana......dewaaanaaaaaaaa......ashiq pehla puraanaaaa......"   great song.  homeboy that sung it in the movie shall become the new salman khan.  :-D  i've figured out why i like indian movies so much......i spend all days during the work week at school around the non brown folks.....indian movies help me remember who telli am.  so leave me alone now!

August 18, 2001

I was up till 12:30 am doing my damn essay for the class from hell. while most kids my age go out and party on friday nights, i stay at home watching indian movies and doing essays for school. 0:-) "pyaaaaarr ishq aurrrrrr, mohobbbattttt......(repeat)". it's a good movie

August 17, 2001

I knew I was right about it being the 17th in physics!!!!  i had a (as my current issues teacher would say) "Outstanding" day.  why was it outstanding......i don' know.  i wasn't even in a good mood half the day.  i took an ap calculus quiz today that i know i failed. anyways, i had to stay after like a couple min to finish it up...so leaving school, i was stuck in traffic for a good 30 min.  anyhoo, i was wearing a tennesee t-shirt that sib gave me...and i went to subway......and the dude working there gave me a discount because he was from tennessee  :-)  but here's the freaky thing.......he was born in johnson city.....and that's where sib used to live  :-o  i go watch movie now...download beautiful by lifehouse cause it's a good song :D ok, i juss saw it. i'm so proud to see how far indian movies are advancing...dil chahta hai was great....it had me laughing out loud...like every 5 minutes...so watch

August 16, 2001

This is what i currently feel like

August 15, 2001

i live off disgusting granola bars and lime-water...on a darker note, i shall fail my ap lit test tomorrow, for teacher told me that i will :-o

August 14, 2001

Today while teacher talked about the satirical impact of the novel Invisible Man, i thought in my head...." kambakth ishq hai jooooo.....saraaaaa jahaaaaa hai vooo.  kab aaataaa haiiiiii, kab jaataaa haiiiiii.  par rehta hai jab tuk yeh kambakth...janath dikatha haiiiiiiiiiiiii...................."

August 13, 2001

aight, so today was a good day.  i didn't get to revolve around in computer apps...instead i learned how to type "dad go lass; jill eel; hah; asdfjkl;eh"  perhaps tomorrow, i can get real advanced and start working with the q's!!!  :-o  there was a cricket in current issues...we put him in the hallway..poor thing prolly got run over during class changes...i figured out how to turn a sea shell into a plant in art...and in calculus, while the teacher said to the class, "the absolute value of y of x is the cosine function.......blah blah blah..."  i thought in my head, "hum ko humise churaalooo...dil mein yuhi thum chupaalooo...hum akele, kho na jayee.  duur thumseeee ho na jayee...." etc etc.  i think i learned a lot today. school is so constructive. :p

August 12, 2001

hmm.....i'm not currently listening to anything...lemme turn some stuff on...wow, it's actually an angrezi song "truly madly deeply."  it signs like a desi song, though.  anyhoo, i'm tired.  i won't be getting rest till...hmm....may 19th!!!!!!!!

August 11, 2001

"is dil ne sapne kya kya sajaaye.  in sapno ka, kya karooooooooo?"  still listening to zoom boombura.  i can't seem to get tired of this song.  ok, so as i watched the home video yesterday, i figured my parents like threw away the camera when i was born cause i had no fun videos of me as a toddler, doing cute things like stabbing my foot with a fork.  but then i did find myself in the movies, so i felt a lot better :)  it's too early in the morning to talk about this day, so i shall pick up later.........ok, well...today we went and got some stuff...then, i wrote an essay for lit, then...we went to hafsa's house and went online :) i really have no thoughts in my head right now. school drains it all. now, i'm listening to "ey dil dil ki duniya mein, aisa haal bhe hota hain. bahar koi hastha hain, undher koi roota hain.....(then we break it down, desi style)"

 

August 10, 2001

"mujhe saajan ke ghar jaana hai......la la la."  dont' know the rest of the song....even though i'm listening to it.  anyways....i had a decent day.....anything funny happen.......no.  first period...we did a worksheet on stuff we did in middle school...second period, i tried to figure out how many times i can revolve my rolly chair with one push of the feet, i'm at 2 revalaions now, by monday, i think i can get up to 4. third period...we read the movie reviews in the paper. whoop di do. all my nice classes start off my day, then the hard ones at the end. but come 6th period....i feel like a complete moron...AP CALCULUS!!  but anyhoo....i watched another home video right after school today...and THAT was fun.  the REALLY freaky thing was seeing my future sister in law and my brother on the beach as toddlers.......  : O

August 9, 2001

Haha...still listening to zoom boombura....i dont' know what i was afraid of...all my classes are awesome, with the exception of ap calculus.  man...i don't think i've ever had a better first day.  being a senior kicks butt...but then again...soon this guppy will leave her protective fish bowl and enter the sea which is real life...but that's a year away.  for now, let me talk about my day.  new homeroom teacher...first period chem II (awesome teacher, awesome class, EXTREMELY interesting subject...we get to do forensics! and our homework for tonight is to watch CSI!!!!!!!!), next....keyboarding (kindygartener stuff for me), next= current issues with a teacher that does nothing but pace back and forth across the classroom trying to be funny....he also wants to take us to a jail for a feild trip...seriously!  next....hmm.....ap lit.  very intimidating, but i'll do fine.  nice lit teacher as well.  good lunch....next, i had the same art class that i had last year...so i'll be forced to take physics...and i'll be FORCED to take a trip to six flags if i do so...next....the dirty spot of my day= ap calculus.  all the words that came out of mr. teacher dude's mouth seemed foreign to me.  but i think i'll be able to cut it.  i think the greatest part of my day was the fact that i didn't think about certain situations going on outside of school...i was totally emancipated from all that useless crap that i don't need right now.  :)  so now, i'm happy...after what seems like a long period of junk

August 8, 2001

Still Zoom Boombura-ing...oh yeah...thanks to all the bastardos that ruined my summer  :D  i appreciate it

 

August 7, 2001

Zoom boombura...it's hard to type while eating a popscicle........uzma needs a hug

August 6, 2001

"Dhekte hi dhekte dil ko gayaaa, (repeat) dil kho gayaa to pyaar tumse hogayaaaaa!" i'm not trying to sing this to anyone in particular...this song is just in my head, and on the computer. open house is in bout..hmm...40 min.....:(.........ok, i juss got back from open house...and i think i'm gonna cry :( i didn't think i'd be so depressed going back...it's just that the whole atmosphere of that damn place makes me wanna cry...it's like school is the interruption in real life...and i'm depressed already :( i need cheering up...i think i shall watch another song from my current favorite movie. :) ...didn't work! even news of hrithik roshan coming to atlanta isn't cheering me up...now that's bad! .............. Growing up…ain’t it a bitch! For so long, various people that I respect have been giving me the same advice: “don’t trust anybody, people will only disspoint you.” They’ll be proud to know that I’ve finally understood why those words are so important. When you’re younger…you have so much trust in people…but then that faith and trust slowly weathers with time, and well…the outcome is pretty sad. What’s the point of opening up your fragile self, only to be trampled upon? Hmm…perhaps it makes you a “stronger” person…but stronger for what? Another beating when you let down your guard? No thanks…I’d rather be a cold hermit as opposed to a tender-hearted fool. :p

August 5, 2001

Currently, i'm watching Zoom Boombura from Tum Bin on the realplayer. you know, it's sad when you can watch clips from a movie on the internet...and it's actually clearer on your computer screen than on a tv set. hmmmph! those damn indian movie store owners always jip us. anyways, open house is tomorrow...i'm not scared of school..i juss don't wanna go!! back to all that pointless crap...worksheets, essays, MATH! when will i ever need to graph a quadratic function in real life? yah, college, but who gives a damn about that? ok, now, i'm watching the song Tum Bin from the movie Tum Bin. i can't get enough of these songs, they're awesome. in fact, i suggest you come here. damn school, damn school, damn school.............

August 4, 2001

Since i may not get time at the computer tomorrow...and it's almost tomorrow anyways, i figured i'd make saturday's entry now, since there's nothing else to do. izzatullah and i were conversing about how in about 10 years or so...a bunch of the cousins will already be married...and everyone will be split up. :( it's sad to think of such a thing...because yeah, we all do live in separate states, well, some of us...but the whole marriage thing may play a factor in an even greater separation of us Ansari kids. hmm....but thass just life. i think that the people we shall all eventually wed will only become new characters in the Ansari clan...and they will help to diversify and enhance our already 

i screwed up somehow...and accidentally deleted half my thoughts from the 3rd and the 4th  :-(

August 3, 2001

actual clothes instead of mini skirts and tank tops...(but then again, the movie was mostly set during fall/winter in Canada, so that may have had an influence on the wardrobe) :) go watch it. other than that....i have no life, so there's nothing else to speak of. in about a week, however, i'll be complaining about how much i abhor school. i juss saw Rush Hour 2....hilarity at it's best...especially the part where Jackie Chan says to Chris Tucker, "I'll BITCH slap you back to Africa!!" :)

August 2, 2001

I don't like people very much....and this time, there is no lighter note to speak of.

August 1, 2001

Everyone hates me.......:(.............on a lighter note, i just ate some cookies and chocolate milk for breakfast :D

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