Lizard home for the elderly deranged......part 7!

With the onset of night and the failing light, LK and LQ stopped in their aeroplane games and had a pang of guilt.  Maybe they should let the residents in.  Momentarily wavering on thier resolve, a howl from outside renewed their worries.  A quiet night in the home  for a change they thought.  Although still with slight pangs of guilt they threw out lots of blankets and sleeping bags.  LK started to throw out torches, but a reminder from LQ stopped him.  With a flick of a switch LQ turned on the floodlights, how fortunate!

Lava Lamp Queen was readying his troops.  Those LK home for the elderly deranged people wouldn't know what had hit them.  He couldn't actually remember why he was mounting the attack, but stuck on the impetous of preparations, he'd decided to do it anyway.  Hopefully they'd be back in time for breakfast.

Kimmie was still sat under the tree, looking up in awe at the huge beanstalk that had sprouted from the acorn and margherita.  She was also looking at the prone figure of Lioness sprawled at the base of it.  Paints were spattered everywhere, giving Lioness a spooky Wildboys look.  Unfortunately in her haste and excitement of being chief banner creator, she had failed to see the beanstalk and had run into it at full pelt.
Slightly inebriated from the margheritas whilst waiting for the acorn Kimmie found she couldn't help Lioness at all.  Although the paints and paper that were strewn around started alarm bells ringing in her head.  Was the now painted Lioness trying to usurp her position as chief banneress?  Slightly miffed Kimmie pressed her nose against Lioness' and waited for her to wake up.

Crystal Tears was still dragging Richard Simmons on her leg.  she'd tried reason and even smashing him on the head with a rock but his springy hair just bounced it back up.  Finally she got to the pool, Gemini Girl was still flashing her butt cheek with the Milt tattoo.   Momentarily forgetting her own misfortune, Crystal Tears said,
"What the hell is that?" as she pointed to Gemini Girls tattoo.
"My tattoo? Do you like?" asked Gemini Girl as she stuck out her butt even more.  Richard Simmons grip loosened on Crystal Tears.
"Get that off you silly girl!" said Crystal Tears as she handed Gemini Girl a towel to rub it off.
"Awwww" pouted Gemini Girl as she reluctantly smudged off the "tattoo"
"Kimmie painted that for me" said Gemini Girl
"Well Kimmie should've known better, I shall be having words with her" said Crystal Tears sternly.
"Spoilsport" muttered Gemini Girl.
"Um...isn't it a bit cold to be wearing a swimsuit?" asked Crystal Tears pointing at Gemini Girls hi-cut swimsuit.
"No, course not, this is fiction silly!" said Gemini Girl, "But hey, I'll put on these handy jeans anyway, kinda unnerving being semiclad near him" she said pointing to Richard, his grip now tightening back on Crystal Tears, now Gemini Girl was clothed.
Just then, due to popular demand, the boy with the red ball from the ITSISK video ran past.  When it seemed neither Crystal Tears or Gemini Girl were going to follow the boy stopped and said,
"Awwww, come on!"
"Oh alright then" they both sighed together.
Unfortunately Crystal Tears had forgotten about Richard Simmons, but a quick waft of a wholemeal tofu omelette frappe had him scurrying off, his lust for Crystal Tears momentairly forgotten.
Quickly they ran after the boy with the red ball  Annoyingly he shinned up the beanstalk and into the clouds.
Passing Kimmie, still with her nose pressed against Lioness's, Gemini Girl raised an eyebrow in query.
"Best not ask" said Crystal Tears as she jumped up onto the first big leaf and started to climb.  Gemini Girl followed.
Unknown to them, Kevin Spacey was following them, although he had no idea why.

Back at the pool as TLM caught the lifeguard and NYC Girl was moonbathing, neither noticed the cracks in the pavement appear.
Nearby Lava Lamp Lady smiled smugly.
Suddenly all three of them crashed into a subterranean world.
Small children dressed in white robes ran around, a large cage lift chugged up and down at the far end, with birds flapping around in it.
"What the...?" said TLM as she unceremoniously dumped the lifeguard on the floor,.
"Who nicked the moon?" wailed NYC Girl, lamenting at her moon tan.
Just then all three of them were whisked off by small children, where they found themselves dressed in dusty jeans, leather jackets and enough belts and cuffs to sink a ship.
"Ha ha, you look like a biker chick" laughed TLM pointing at NYC Girl
"Well you look like Cher"  said NYC Girl back.
"Touche" pouted TLM.
The lifeguard was now in dirty denims and leather too, funnily enough his hair had grown and had become a dirty blond.
"Heeeeey" said the lifeguard as he clicked his fingers.
"You are not the Fonz!" snapped TLM, resenting her Cher look.
As they moved further in they could see the pipes, the scaffolding platforms, chains and rags, all swirling with dry ice.  Although underground they also noticed large stained glass windows, where shafts of light pierced the gloom, dust motes swirled in the light. To their left were holey tents, more pointy haired children flitted this way and that.  A figure sat at a desk at the end of the cavern.  A juggler tried to entertain them, but TLM stole one of his balls and he ran off in tears.
Rummaging through plans and maps on a sand swept desk, sat LadyBlu.  Glancing up, she was horrified to see intruders in her domain.
"No room!" she shouted flapping her arms.
"But there's loads of room" pointed out TLM.
"No, no, no room, move on please" LadyBlu said still waving her arms frantically.
"And what if we won't?" said TLM defiantly as she crossed her arms meaningfully.
"But noooooo" wailed LadyBlu, her agitation of being found overcame her, with a quick flurry of rolling maps and putting them into a cane like tube, she scurried off amid a swirl of robes and dry ice.
"Friendly girl I see" said the  lifeguard dryly.
"Oh shut up!" snapped both TLM and NYC Girl.  An adventure was beginning and they had a non-swimming, no chance taking lifeguard tagging along.
Not looking to see if he followed, they both swished, or in TLMs case with new leather, squeaked, off after the frantic LadyBlu.  Or failing that a damn good explore.

Since writing about omens and bad portents in her version of an Almanac, Rain had a flash of inspiration.  She ran over to Crevette and Jez, who had given up plotting a kidnap plan and were just twiddling their thumbs waiting for something to happen.
"Right! I have a plan!" said Rain waving her Almanac.
"Yeees?" asked Crevette and Jez warily, they'd heard about Rains plans before.
"Well since I'm God, I'm going to give you both new jobs" she smiled broadly.
"But we're retired!" the replied in unison as they stepped back slightly.
With a wave of her hands Rain transformed Crevettes and Jezs appearance.  They both now wore black cloaks, Crevette now had an hourglass tied to belt around her waist and carried a scythe, Jez had unhealthy looking organisms in jars that clinked together on a belt, a rat scurried from one shoulder to the other.  Nearby two black shadowlike horses quietly huffed into the night air.
A strange mist had sprung up giving everything an eeire and mystical glow.
"Crevette" said Rain turning to her, "You are now Death, treat it wisely and no culling willy-nilly"
"OK!!" squeaked Crevette, clearly excited by the turn of events.
"Jez, you are Pestilence" said Rain
"Awww can't I be Death too?" she asked.
"No, there's only one Death" said Rain.
"Can I be Death then and Crev can be Pestilence?"
"NO!" said Rain becoming irate, "Now, here's a rule book each, I suggest you read it to save yourself from getting flamed or anything, I'm off to find a Famine and  a War" Said Rain triumphantly as she disappeared intot he fog.
"Ahem" coughed Crevette looking at Jez then the horses, "What now?"
Jez shrugged, her jars of pestilence jangled in the silence and the rat washed it's whiskers with an air of indifference.

Antartica was totally bored.  She'd spent the whole of her time running up and down with a pushchair, which only seemed funny for the first half an hour.  Since being outside she'd been strollerless and she had toyed with the idea of going over to Zoids home, just to see if they were having more fun, plus she'd heard they got to be boss everyday!
As she started to walk away from the LK home, she was perturbed to see that the ground beneath her feet was becoming decidely sandy.  Looking back, she could just see the line where the grass had stopped and the sand begun.
Facing forward again she saw a large sand dune now looming in front of her, parked at the base of it was an empty truck with both doors wide open.
Why wasn't anything easy anymore? she grumbled to herself.  With a heavy sigh she began to climb the sand dune.  Just as she neared the top, LadyBlu popped out from a bizarrely out of place tube.  Standing up and dusting herself off LadyBlu scowled from the memory of the the intruders.  She'd been in that underground bunker for years, she'd known there would be trouble as soon as they'd started to dig the pool.  Add to that letting people walk around it, what was the world coming to?  At least she'd managed to save the plans of the place  so she could always build another one, preferably without a curly haired juggler in it!  Now all she needed was a new spot.
"Um....hello?" called Antartica.
"Who?" squinted LadyBlu as a sandstorm whipped up around them.  Just then Rain arrived from nowhere, gleefuly she shouted,
"AHA!"
"Take on meeeeee" sang Lava Lamp Lady hidden nearby.
Before either LadyBlu or Antartica could reply, two black horses appeared sneezing in the sand.  Black cloth and chains clinked from the bridles and saddles.
"YES!!!" shouted Rain as she punched the air in triumph, the air grumbled slightly, but thought better of questioning Gods punching of it.
"Now read the rule books carefully and go and find Crevette and Jez, I think I have a plan!" said Rain enigmatically as she then disappeared in a flurry of sand.
"Oohh, look at you!" giggled Antartica at LadyBlu as she pointed out LadyBlus suit of armour and sword.  LadyBlu disdainfully looked at Antartica and replied,
""Well you look kinda thin"
"Now you mention it, I do feel hungry"  said Antartica, looking at her new slimline self.  Her cloak began to billow around in the wind that picked up again as Rain reappeared,
"Oh, by the way, you're War" she said pointing to LadyBlu,
"And you're Famine" pointing to Antartica.
"Just so you know" she chuckled as she disapeared again.
"Oh, so that clears up everything" said LadyBlu sarcastically.
With the sand storm ending they both grappled with the horses and led them back towards the LK home to look for Crevette and Jez.

Yasmin had been trying to get her troops to march more symmetrically, but when limbs kept dropping off it was proving difficult.  It was as they marched around the pool, avoiding the big hole that had appeared that Warren, over eager to please, dropped his ear into the pool.  Everyone ground to a halt.
"What is it now?" stomped Yasmin, angry at this disbanding in the ranks.
"Oooohhh" cooed the zombies as they watched Warrens ear float to the middle of the pool and then sink.
"My ear!!" wailed Warren.
"Look, you'll just have to leave it" said Yasmin as she peered to see it now sat on the bottom of the pool.
"B-b-b-b-but" stuttered Warren, tears welling up.
"Look!, we can't get it, you're too porous, you'd sink and well.... I don't do pools" said Yasmin.
"Bu...."started Warren, but a stern look from Yasmin had him back in line.
"We have a possible battle with Zoids home lot and we NEED to be ready!" yelled Yasmin as she set them off marching again.
Unnoticed by anyone, the ear at the bottom of the pool was beginning to jump about in a maelstrom of bubbles as it appeared to be breaking up into other fractions.  With a million tiny "pops" and sprays of water, a million little three inch high Warrens scurried for the dark corners.

Tigertiger and Christine C were sat drinking on the steps of the LK home when a small object scurried past them, then another and another.  With lightning quick reflexes both of them grabbed a little beast.
"Oh my God!" said Tigertiger.
"What?" grumbled Rain, yet again interupted, she really wished people would stop bandying her name everywhere.
"Oh, nothing" said Tigertiger guiltily, "Sorry to have troubled you"
With a sigh, Rain left again.
"Oh my!" said Tigertiger more carefully this time, "Have you seen what we've caught?" she asked Christine C.
"No, I'm too scared to look" replied Christine C, "It keeps tickling my hands"
"It's a little Warren!" squealed Tigertiger, "Look!". She put her opened hand up to Christine Cs face, there sat happily and cooing was in fact a mini Warren.
"Have I got one too?" whispered Christine C as she opened her hand.  There sat in her hand was another mini Warren, with huge fluffy ears and big eyes, as she looked, it tentatively smiled at her.
"Oh look, it's purring!" smiled Tigertiger as she tickled the appreciative mini Warren behind its big ears.
Just then, Tigertiger taking a sip of her drink, didn't notice the drips of water drop onto the mini Warren, with a scream it began to roll around as if in pain.  As quickly as it had started it finished with five furry balls popping off the mini Warren, who now lay exhausted on Tigertigers palm.
"Shit!! What have I done??"  whispered Tigertiger, Christine C held her mini Warren protectively from the careless water spilling Tigertiger and said,
"Don't know!"
Just then the five furry balls that had popped off Warren unfurled to reveal more mini Warrens!  But with a baring of sharp teeth and a five tier raspberry, they ran off into the night cackling, one with a white stripe stopping to drop its trousers to moon at them.
The two pet Warrens looked on sadly and cooed forlornly.
"Oopsie!" said Tigertiger as she took another swig of her drink, being careful not to drip water this time.

Kian was loving her new found powers courtesy of CCG.  with the Chauffeur a quivering mess on the floor, she now had to deal with the chicken dance non-boobies girl.  But it was proving difficult, every time Kian thought she'd catch her, she'd manage to do a little wiggle and step out of the way.
It was as they continued this dance move that Kian found herself at the base of the beanstalk, laying flat on the ground looking up as the non boobie girl showed her excellence at climbing.  (Well she had to be good at something and it certainly wasn't dancing!)
The reason for Kian being flat on the ground was that in her unerring quest to zap the non boobie girl she'd not seen Kimmie and Lioness and had tripped over them.
Picking themselves up, Lioness now awake although slightly disorientated, Kian decided to follow the girl up the beanstalk.  Kimmie realising there was more to life than banners decided also to go up with Kian.  Lioness, free from the glare of Kimmie, happily set about painting some anti Zoid home banners and pennants for the rumoured uprising.
Arriving at the top, Kian and Kimmie were stunned to now see that everyting was giant size,  a distant booming thundered in the background.
"What now?" whispered Kimmie.
"Must seek and destroy non boobie girl" said Kian automatically.  The booming was getting closer,
"Maybe we'd better hide" said Kimme looking for somewhere to hide, a giant rabbit hole nearby looked a good place to start.
Just then then booming was on top of them now, a giant non boobie dance girl stepped through the trees.
"Oh shit!" said Kimmie as she tried to drag the defiant Kian to the rabbit hole.  As the giant non boobie girl moved towards Kian another giant emerged from the trees behind her.
"SHIT!!" screamed Kian, now doubting her powers on two giants, as a giant Chauffeur leered at the tiny Kian.  Screaming they both dived into the rabbit hole to escape.
After they had been falling for about ten minutes both Kimmie and Kian realised something was amiss.  A white rabbit falling with them muttered,
"I'm late, I'm late for a very important date"

Gemini Girl and Crystal Tears had been following the boy with the red ball so doggedly that they hadn't noticed how giant everything had become.  It was only after the boy had called a pitstop, that they realised just how scary a place this was.  Looking up into the distance they could just make out the top of the tree trunks, highly carved tree trunks at that and very symmetrically placed too!  Looking down they saw they were on a checkerboard floor, in the distance a huge oven loomed in the corner.
"Oh-oh!" said Gemini Girl looking around.
"What?" asked Crystal Tears with a new found bravery.  she wore Colourstay lipstick for Goodness sake, that made her invincible didn't it?  A booming sound began to shake the floor.
"OH-OH!" called Gemini Girl not sure if Crystal Tears really realised the gravity of their situation.  A huge pair of sneakers appeared next to them.  Hairy tree trunk legs disappeared off into space.
"Ooooh, I can see right up his shorts!" giggled Crystal Tears.
Giving her a shove Gemini Girl went to run, but a giant hand reached down and picked them up.  Leaving the boy with the red ball on the ground.
"Awwww, dammit, not again!" he whined as he wandered of with no one chasing him.
As Crystal Tears and Gemini Girl got nearer the face a cold sweat began to trickle down both their backs.  A pair of shorts, a lycra vest top....springy hair?!
"OH MY GOD!" screamed Gemini Girl
"Stoppit!!" yelled Rain from her armchair, she'd only just sat down with a cup of cocoa for whoevers sake!
"It's a giant Richard Simmons! Crystal Tears what have you done??" screamed Gemini Girl.
Richard Simmons smiled and took them to a cage on the table, fully equiped with a multi gym and steps, and grapefruit with sugar on!

The fight ball had been rolling around for hours.  Miss November Tuesday and Greylady7609, the actual original instigators of it all, had in fact given up ages ago and were now swapping make up tips each time they passed each other as they rolled.  Lady Interference fed up of being upside down for most of the time decided now was the time to act.  Seeing a flash of blond hair she grabbed out and used all her strength to stop.
With a slurping sound Lady Interference dropped out of the fight ball onto the grass and someone was with her!  With a groan her companion stood up, it was Nick!  Jubliant, Lady Interference tried not to do a happy dance, she had to be cool and besides dancing might scare him off!
"Where are we?" asked Nick,his head full of chopsticks and reeling.  Looking around they seemed to be in a forest, a faint glow was emanating from a clearing nearby.
"Lets go there" said LI taking control, as they drew near they could hear voices.
"When shall we three meet again?" said one.
"When the hurly burlys done and the battles lost and won" said another.
"Where the place?" said yet another.
"Upon the heath"
"Paddock calls"
"I come Gramalkyn"
"Fair is foul and foul is fair, hover through the fog and filthy air" all three chorused.
As they finished in stumbled LI and Nick.
"Oh, hello" said Charl embarrassed at being rumbled.
"Hello?" said LI looking at her fellow LK home residents.
"Hi" mumbled NoBel and DD3Some as they shuffled their feet and tried to hide the bubbling cauldron.
"What are you doing?"  asked Nick.
"Ooh,...um....nothing" said Charl hastily.
"Weather predictions" added Nobel,
"Yeah, weather" said DD3Some enthusiastically.
"Riiiight, so why's it bubbling greenly like that?" asked LI as the bubbling contents began to grow taller and taller.
"Bad weather" said Charl sternly.
"Yes, really bad weather" added DD3Some.
"Thuderstorms" said NoBel ominously.
Just then the figure that had stepped from the bubbling mass said,
"Oh please, weather indeed, I am your favourite neighbourhood hellraiser!"
"Eepp!" said LI.  Nick fainted again.  The other three shuffled away quickly, they'd seen fireworks elsewhere in the forest and they thought now might be a good time to go take a look,  their weather predicting over for the night had gone slightly awry.
"Hey!" called LI, "It's your being....don't leave me here!" she yelled after the retreating figures.
"Be right back" they called as they pelted off into the distance.
"Don't worry my dear" said the cauldron person almost cheerfully, "Here, let me introduce myself" it said holding out it's hand.
"I'm Runemistress!"
"Oh SHIT!" said LI as she tried to wake Nick and get away as soon as possible.

Running away, Charl, NoBel and DD3Some were each trying to figure out what had gone wrong  It transpired that Charl had thought they were baking cookies, NoBel though they were predicting weather and DD3Some had thought they were making soup.  Hence the conflict in ingredients had summoned Runemistress.  Now when they'd meant to summon someone they'd ended up with smashing cakes.
Arriving at another clearing they came across Nuk with a welders mask on making some weaponry.
"Yours didn't work then?" she asked her three visitors.
"weeeeell....in a way" said Charl.
Lifting up her visor and stopping her welding Nuk smiled, saying,
"Well I did say magick wouldn't work, just look at the date for a start!"
"Why?" asked NoBel having lost all track of time since she'd moved to the LK home for the elderly deranged.
"You didn't realise?" asked Nuk incredulously, "No wonder you went wrong, it's the third day of the third month, well known for its magical properties" she finished knowingly.
"Oh" said all three, "Oopsie!"
"Anyway, come and help me with these,I've heard rumours of a possible attack from the Zoid Homeworld home"  Said Nuk as she whisked off her welders mask and began to dance, leg warmers appearing as she pirouetted through the glen.
"What's she doing?" hissed Charl.
"God knows!" said NoBel.
"Sheesh...Have I got to tell you everything?" asked Rain as she appeared floating in the clearing, "I was busy you know" said rain pointing to her face pack and rollered hair.
"Sorry" mumbled NoBel, "But DO you know what she is doing?"
"Flashdance" replied Rain simply as she disappeared mumbling.
"Oh" all three replied as  they watched Nuk fling herself around and perform high kicks.

Meanwhile the fight ball began to slow witht the loss of two of its participants.  Just as everyone thought, yes, the hell would be over, they suddenly fell down the hole that TLM, NYC Girl and the lifeguard had gone down earlier.  with a crash, the fight ball finally fell apart.
David Sylvian, aghast at spending so much time with so many people scurried away to be on his own.
This left Miss November Tuesday, Lady Xanax, Greylady7609 and John.  Stunned they looked around at their surroundings.  the pipes still spewed dry ice, the cloths still hung haphazardly.
"Oooh, I recognise this!" said MNT
"Do you?" asked John, he personally had no clue whatsoever.
"Oh please!" said Lady Xanax, incredulous that John didn't even recognise his own video.
"Sorry, am I missing something?" he asked, getting huffy at his companions obvious loftiness.
"Best look for a way out then" said Greylady, she hated subterranean areas, not something people from the 21st century should be doing.
As they walked along, they watched the pointy haired kids mill around as they had lost all direction with the loss of LadyBlu.  The four of them reached two tunnels.  One went off to the left and the other to the right.  the left tunnel showed lots of footprints and scuff marks.  In some bizarre reasoning they elected to take the untouched second tunnel.  after half an hour of tunnel, they began to doubt their choice, each blaming the others for their "lostness"
Just as GreyLady was about to suggest turning back, they came to some stairs leading upwards.  Double doors lay across the top.
"Here goes nothing!" said MNT as she walked up the stairs and pushed open the doors.
They opened onto a cobbled courtyard, it was still nighttime, but none of them recognised the area.  Just then a horse and cart rumbled into the street followed by someone on a motorbike.
"Oh no!" said John, he remembered this one!  Looking down at himself he saw he now had on a heavy long coat, the others too had on thick woolly coats and scarves.  Fireworks began to go off overhead and suddenly, against their wishes they found themselves jumping up and down, arms linked and waving flags.
"Help!" shoulted Lady Xanax, MNT and Greylady, John on the other hand had resigned himself to reliving the video from hell.

Fairys Midwife was looking desperately for people to stamp, if she didn't get someone soon the ink would dry out on her!  Seeing that quite a few people had gone up the beanstalk she thought she'd follow.  As she climbed, the date stamp clenched firmly between her teeth, she thought about the warmth of her beloved library.  Hopefully LK and LQ would let them in soon, she missed her books, although she didn't miss the fools that came in.
Reaching the top she saw everything was giant sized.  Seeing the footprints leading one way, she decided to  go the opposite way.  After walking for a while she came across a huge lamb, it smiled sweetly and said,
"Helloooo....Baaaaaa"
"Um, Hello" stuttered Fairys Midwife, it seemed friendly enough but who knew what made good lambs turn bad?  Just then Rogsbabe arrived,
"Oh hello" she said jubliant at some company.
"Big lamb!" pointed Fairys Midwife.
"Oh yes, I see you've met my lamb,...Bourgini?"
(Thanks to an ex boyfriend for that joke,.....well he had SOME uses!)
Groaning at the pun Fairys Midwife stamped Rogsbabe on the forehead.
"Ooohh, does that mean we're pals now?" she asked.
"Maybe" said Fairys Midwife cagily, Rogsbabe had an odd glint in her eyes.
"Follow me!" said Rogsbabe suddenly as she jumped up into the saddle on Bourgini and hauled Fairys Midwife with her.
"Where are we going?" yelled Fairys Midwife as Bourgini started to run down the hill towards a huge building.
"You'll see" said Rogsbabe enigmatically.
Arriving at the building they jumped down and left Bourgini to chomp some grass.  Opening the huge door with a flourish Rogsbabe stepped back to let Fairys Midwife in.  It was a huge library, books stretched for miles as far as the eyes could see.
"Oh my God!" whispered Fairys Midwife
"Oh, for goodness sake!!" said Rain, mid washing off her face pack.
"sorry" whispered Fairys Midwife and Rain disappeared again.
Stepping into the hush of the library, Fairys Midwife spied a whole line of new date stamps, with that she fainted.  Rogsbabe looked down at her and said,
"Don't want to play travel scrabble then?" as she whipped out a box that rattled with plastic tiles.
"I'll set up then" she continued as she sat and waited for Fairys Midwife to waken.

As Simon opened the shed door NicksViper tumbled out.
"Thank you!" she screamed as she grabbed Simons legs.
"Damn" said RioDNCR as her tete a tete with Simon seemed to be slipping away.
"Hel-lo!" smirked Simon, girls falling at his feet again, how blissful.
Stepping out from the shed Spy Matthews was scowling, he reached out to help NicksViper up but she jumped up and hid behind Simon.  Naked horse guy, not keen on all these people seeing his nakedness, like NOW he should worry, scurried off to find a stable to lie down in.
Spy Matthews grabbed NicksVipers hand, Simon not wanting to let go either, grabbed the other.  Hence NicksViper found herself being pulled in a tug of war.
RioDNCR tapped her fingers in boredom as she waited, just then Roger saw her and walked over eagerly, trying to hide, Roger found RioDNCR in the rose bushes.
"Oh yes, now roses..." started Roger, Wailing RioDNCR yelled,
"God help me!"
Rain popped up again,
"What now?" this being omnipresent was quite tiring and besides,she had the four horsewomen of the apocalypse to organise.
"Help me....anything" yelled RioDNCR.
"Anything?" asked Rain mischeviously.
"Yes, yes!" wailed RioDNCR.
With a "pffptt" Rain swished her arms around  then disappeared again.
"where'd she go?" asked Roger bewildered as he turned this way and that.  Unable to find her he wandered on through the rosebushes and out the other side.
RioDNCR meanwhile was still there, but being only three inches high Roger hadn't seen her.
"Oh great, just great!" squeaked RioDNCR.
"God? God??"  she called.  Rain appeared momentarily,
"You said anything, so you've got anything! don't worry it'll only last 24 hours" with that she left again giggling.
Sighing RioDNCR wandered off careful not to get trodden on by Spy Matthews, Simon or NicksViper.  As she passed Simon an idea formed,  maybe she could climb!  She thought giggling.  Just as she was thinking on the "how" of climbing Simons legs a gang of five mini Warrens grabbed her and held her aloft as they ran away with her.
"Noooooo!" shrieked RioDNCR. 
The mini Warrens carried on regardless.

Meanwhile, still being the rope in a tug of war, NicksViper was trying reasoning for the men to let her go, seeing as abuse and kicking hadn't worked.  But neither of them seemed to want to let go.  Getting ready to pull herself out of their grips if she could, she pulled hard away from Spy Matthews, but as she did so, Simon also pulled with all his strength, with nothing to balance things NicksViper found herself flying  through the air.
"Oh God I'm flying!" she said.
"Yes it is rather good isn't it?!" Said Rain as she flew past.
Simon and Spy looked up in to the air at the now airborne NicksViper.  Realising they'd both lost, Simon turned to Spy and said,
"Oh well, fancy a beer?, I stashed some in the shed earlier"
"Yeah ok" replied Spy amiably.
As they went to get their beers NicksViper continued to fly through the air.
It was as she was still flying that NicksViper thought something was going horribly wrong.  she'd already lost her hat and here she was flying through the air when she should have crashed ages ago!
"Oh well, never mind" she said to herself as she settled back to enjoy the ride.
But as she did she noticed the ground rushing up to meet her.
Landing with a bump, NicksViper stood up and dusted herself down.  Looking around she could see that the surrounding area was divided up into squares like a chess board.  Little brooks and hedges divided each square.
"Curiouser and curiouser" said NicksViper.
Just then she was joined by a talking and very informative flower, possibly a dog daisy but who could tell these days with genetically modifying going on.
"Get to the other side and you will be queen" said the daisy.
"Pardon?" said NicksViper astounded as she turned to the flower.
"Get to the eighth square of the board and you being a pawn will become queen, I hear they crown in a pink fuzzy cowboy hats!"
At that last comment, NicksViper shot off to the eighth square to be queen of the pink fuzzy hats.

CCG still springing around everywhere was beginning to get motion sickness, she wasn't sure though, but it did seem as if she was slowing down.
"Hallelujah!" she said.
Doing her last "ping" she unfortunately landed on the sulking horse boy.  Finding himself now with a rider, he grabbed CCG in a piggy back and galloped off.
"NOOOOOO!" yelled CCG as her motion sickness returned with a vengence as they careered round the grounds.
She'd get the nurses for this, just as soon as they stopped that is.

Hex had been badgering Vasari for so long now he was starting to get a headache.  Just then Roger stumbled from the bush behind them muttering to himself about disappearing people and flowers.
"Oh God!" yelled Vasari, he just wanted a sleep and now he had two people to contend with.
"Right! that's it!" yelled Rain wrapped in a towel as she had been just about to get in her bath.  With a flourish of her hands, careful not to let the towel fall, Roger found himself on his own again.  Hex and Vasari had gone.
"Oh" he said to Rain, but she had already left in a fit of giggles.
But Rogers downcastness was short lived when he heard Hex and Vasari shouting,
"Hey! where are we?"
Looking around he couldn't see anyone, it was with a sinking realisation as he walked away that he appeared to have them both in his mind. 
Shaking his head as if he had a buzzing in his ear, Roger wandered off to look for some help.  Maybe Charl, NoBel or DD3Some could help him he thought.

Tigress, Georgeschick and Andy were in a heap, 26 volumes of the encyclopedia Britannica were strewn around, pages were torn from their homes and they flapped around in the air.  Tigress' stash of smiley face stickers from her pocket had spilled out and were now adorning everything.
"Sorry about that" apologised Georgeschick.
"Can't be helped" smiled Tigress, or was that just a smiley sticker on her face?
As they righted themsleves and sat Andy, still tied to his chair, back up, They noticed Andy had lost his shoes in the fall.
"Awww, no shoes" pointed Tigress.
Georgeschick on the otherhand, noticed something else, having had first hand experience of "hairy" she saw that Andys feet were in fact huge and very very hairy.
"What?" she said pointing at Andys feet.
Embarrassed Andy blushed,
"I was hoping no one would notice" he said.
"Good Lord!" said Tigress.
Reain started to appear, but then changed her mind, Lord, she could pretend she hadn't heard, God, on the other hand had her running to where ever like a mad woman.
"Can't you untie me? I'll explain, honest!" said Andy still embarrassed.
"Ok" said Georgeschick, always one for a good tale.  Once untied Andy started to explain, pulling out a ring on some string round his neck as he did so.
Just then the four horsewomen of the apocalypse galloped over, cloaks billowing, leading thier horses, they hadn't managed to learn to ride yet.
Screaming Andy grabbed Georgeschick and Tigress and then slipped on the ring.
"Where'd they go?" asked Crevette sadly, she'd thought they'd found someone to help with the horse riding.
Andy was still screaming as they ran and ran.
"Wraiths, wraiths, they want the ring!"
"What?" shouted Georgeschick
Realising they were far enough away, Andy let go of them and removed the ring, they all appeared again.
They now seemed to be in a small  stone village.  An olde worlde inne, with its flickering oil lamps seemed as good a place as any to go in.
Entering, Andy ordered them jugs of ale and sat them at a quiet corner table.  He now seemed to be wearing a green tunic.  Georgeschick and Tigress also were in jerkins and leggings.
"Ok, so please tell me why am I dressed like a middle England loon?" asked Tigress sticking a smiley sticker to her tunic to brighten up its brown-ness.
"Middle earth" corrected Andy
"Middle what?" asked Georgeschick.
"Middle earth" explained Andy, "My full name is Andy Bilbo Taylor Baggins, you understand why I dropped the Bilbo and Baggins for the stage?"
Realising that most of the people in the bar had big hairy feet too, Georgeschick and Tigress filled up their goblets with ale and tried to drink themselves into oblivion.
"Next we'll be seeing Gandalf and Legolas" said Tigress.
"Well,now you mention it" coughed Andy as he beckoned over two cloaked and hooded figures.
"Gandalf and Legolas, meet Georgeschick and Tigress" said Andy
Agog Georgeschick and Tigress drank more ale.

Lava Lamp Queen was walking round his troops.  they all seemed fairly well armed from Bernadettes armoury and Drnmodes explosives, but he was still unsure about some of thier loyalities.
Evil Kimmie was a live wire at the quietest of times so who knew when she'd go off at a tangent!  DazzleGirl was a LK homey, although she said she'd renounced the whole LK Home, he still wasn't sure.  so with that thought he'd given DazzleGirl  the picnic hamper and no weapons, just in case.
Giz was too busy loving all the troop and LLQueen really didn't think he could  be trusted either, he'd probably end up marrying everyone at LK, not fighting them.
Sighing, LLQueen knew they'd have to march soon, with a flourish of his purple hanky he marked the start of his troops march, with LLQueen at the top followed closely by Evil Kimmie and DazzleGirl they marched on.
and on,
and on.
The landscape began to take on a snowy feeling, puzzled LLQueen span round to talk to his troops, when he saw that there was now only Evil Kimmie and DazzleGirl.  Facing forward again he saw a faun approach.
"Ahhh, hello" said the faun in a fairly friendly fashion.  DazzleGirl smiled happily at it, Evil Kimmie tried too but it came as a grimmace, it'd take work but she was a nice girl really.
"My name is Mr Tumnus" said the faun adjusting the scarf around its neck, "Now, daughters of Eve and son of Adam...." Mr Tumnus faltered confused,
"Daughters of Eve" he finished lamely, deciding  not to address the issue.
"Please come quickly before the Snow Queen arrives and offers you turkish delight"
"Another queen?" bristled LLQueen, he was the only queen round these parts!
"Oohh, I like turkish delight" said DazzleGirl
"No, no no!" we must go" said Mr Tumnus as he grabbed Evil Kimmie and DazzleGirl, hoping LLQueen would follow
A tinkling of sleigh bells heralded the imminant arrival of the Snow Queen, LLQueen stood his ground while DazzleGirl, Evil Kimmie and the faun Mr Tumnus hid behind a bush, next to an old fashioned 1900s lamp post.
The fight was about to commence.

It was with happy thoughts that LK and LQ retired for the night.  tomorrow they'd let in the residents, they couldn't make them stay out again, they'd lose their grants from the council!
But which ones would return was a different matter altogether!!

Here's hoping you all know the stories of Alice in Wonderland, Alice through the looking glass, Macbeth, The lion the witch and the wardrobe, Gremlins, Flashdance, Lord of the rings, Jack and the beanstalk...(All highly edited of course!) and finally your DD videos!  If not....go read them now!!!!