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U. Machias Online
EDITORIALS
March 4, 2001
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Some Thoughts on Gender Issues
And Intimate Partner Violence
By Reid D. Albee
I have been studying Behavioral
Science and, specifically, Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) for
the past five years. I thought I
was getting a pretty good education and I guess was
getting a bit complacent in my perceived knowledge
of the causes and dynamics of
domestic violence.
While there are many theories that I have studied
that make good empirical sense to me,
I have recently discovered that I really was
not paying enough attention to a very large part
of the IPV paradigm; our culture's sexism and
the denigration of women.
I took a class last semester entitled, Cross-Cultural
Examinations of Domestic Violence. I got
a lot from this class, but the most important
thing that I brought out of the experience is the
indisputable fact that sexism and cultural attitudes
towards women directly contribute to the
problem of domestic violence.
Okay, I am a man, and I guess that
part of my own cultural education probably blinded me from
taking a deep look at what myself and other
men do to contribute to the problem of sexism and
domestic violence.
As men we do not witness,
and even when we do, we ignore the cumulative pain and rage of
women, who have been controlled, used, beaten
and oppressed by sexism, sexual assault and
domestic violence. We are too often inclined
to ignore this deep emotional involvement into the
heart of the problem, and instead we often take
a distant, macro approach to solving the problem,
instead of a personal one.
I have been involved with the movement
in a little more than macro way, but I guess a turning point
for me is what I have learned and witnessed
in the class mentioned above. One of my classmates
(I was the only male in a class of 25) was closely
related to the young woman who was recently
killed in Dexter two years ago. The day
after it happened our class immediately began to rage,
grieve and try to comprehend what had happened.
I was able to open my mind and heart and
participate in this and it has changed dramatically
the way I think about sexism and domestic
violence. It was a total shift of thinking
for me.
So what is it that we men and our
culture do to contribute to domestic violence? Well lets talk
about sexism, male privilege and pornography.
Sexism: It is everywhere.
Newspapers, billboards, television, radio, Internet, everywhere.
How
does it contribute to domestic violence?
Well it's quite simple really. Men are trained by culture
and custom to assume assertive, aggressive roles
in our society. If one is allowed to be this way
by his society and customs then it is a natural
progression to have the mindset that: "If I have this
power and privilege, then I am in control, and
if I am in control, then I have the perception that I
can do anything I want."
This leads to an attitude of dominance over
women and makes us look down on them, and I think
this happens unconsciously. So if we men
and our culture think its okay to control women, then the
next step is to think that as part of this control
we can actually strike someone; then turn our backs
when one of us hits, uses, assaults or denigrates
a woman, because thousands of years of culture
says its okay. Men who commit acts of
violence towards women often say afterwards that they
see nothing wrong with what they have done;
"she was asking for it, she deserved it." Individually
and as a male dominated society we are guilty
of this. If we did not take such an attitude don't
you think that we would have done much more
about the problem than we are doing now? If men
are in control of this society, then it is our
fault if we have not done enough to end sexism and
domestic violence. Yet how are we going
to accomplish this if our own sexism and attitudes
towards women prevent us from seeing the real
issues?
Pornography: Pornography is
a controversial issue that many men feel okay about. What is wrong
with this multi - billion dollar institution
and why does it contribute to violence?
It just contributes to men's perceived
control and 'rights' to control and use of women for their own
pleasure. When taken with the above gender
issues it is safe to say that if we as men already are
predisposed to control the women in our society,
than being able to view photos of their bodies
only contributes to our power and control and
further weakens the power of women. When we
view these photos of women we are viewing them
not as women, but as objects; more specifically
sex objects for OUR pleasure. This contributes
to the power and control issues and further drives the
rationalization and existence of sexism and
violence.
Any group in any society that has a disproportionate
share of power and control over another group
aids and adds to the denigration and suffering
of the controlled group.
If you are a man reading this I
hope you will take a look at the things around you that we often take
for granted and I hope you will start thinking
about how women in this society deserve better. Look
at calendars, posters, magazine ads, television
etc., and you will see, if you truly open your eyes,
blatant and hurtful sexism.
You will see ads and TV shows that
tacitly degrade women, and in some case actually seem to
endorse hitting them. Is this what we
should be exposing our young children to?
I think not.
I have shifted my focus from purely
empirical evidence to taking a long hard look at sexism and
other factors that contribute to domestic violence.
I would encourage all men to do the same. We
can work with women to crush sexism, sexual
assault and violence. If we change our attitudes and
start seeing women as persons equal to ourselves
then we will be better able to see how much they
suffer and have suffered because of the sexism
that we and our culture allow to be perpetrated on
them every day.
Think about it…. Get involved, we have the power
to change society and ourselves. It is a cultural norm
than will not change until we change ourselves.