| BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts." IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni." Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!" RANCH - noun. A tool. Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far." Y'ALL -- noun. A degree of rotation. Usage: "There are three degrees of Southern rotation: Pitch, Roll, and Y'all." BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!" TAR - noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck." TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eifel Tire in Paris sometime." WARSH - verb. To clean. SQUARSH - noun. A vegetable (also verb - to flatten). Usage. "warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where it's been!" GUMMIT - noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Great... ANOTHER gummit shutdow!" |
| SOUTHERN UNITED STATES TO ENLISH DICTIONARY |
| HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ. HOD - adverb. Not easy. Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix." RETARD - Verb. To stop working. Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65." TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred." RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats." Southerners have very friendly rats ... in fact, you could almost say that we have some downright civil rats.) LOT - adjective. Luminescent. Usage: "I dream of Jeanie with the lot-brown hair." FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country." DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim." EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!" BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence." JU-HERE - a question. Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?" HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert." SEED - verb, past tense. VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?" HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action. Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?" |
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| The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes, the South has 'mater samiches. The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses. The North has dating services, the South has family reunions. The North has switchblade knives, the South has Lee Press-on Nails. The North has double last names, the South has double first names. The North has Ted Kennedy, the South has Jesse Helms. The North has an ambulance, the South has an amalance. The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races. The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits. The North has green salads, the South has collard greens. The North has lobsters, the South has crawdads. The North has the rust belt, the South has the Bible Belt. If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....Don't buy food at this store. Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive. Get used to hearing "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?" You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Y'all ought not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!" Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," as in "big'ol truck or "big'ol boy". Most Northerners begin their Southern- influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there. When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere, and that is the proper speed and position for that vehicle. Do not be surprised to find that many 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits! |
| If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles: |
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| "Y'all come back now, y'hear!" |
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