Back to Index Chapter 11

"You wanna say no to me again?" The man hissed, his left eye purple and swollen. Brian swallowed his terror, feeling the knife as it bit at his vulnerable throat. Keeping the sliver of metal steady at Brian's Adam's apple, the man began fumbling with his belt.

"W-wait--" Brian choked out, but the man merely forced the knife up higher making the back of Brian's head collide with the hard wall.

"Shut up." The man spat furiously. Brian closed his eyes, hands helplessly scrabbling at the wall, looking for something--anything--to save him. His attacker yanked down his jeans one handed, shoving them down until they were puddled at his feet. Icy eyes locked on Brian's trembling figure while one rough hand slithered down to caress himself. His eyes flickered shut briefly before the hand holding the knife inadvertently twitched, jerking the serrated edge upwards again. Brian whimpered and attempted to stretch his neck away from the knife, tears beginning to leak down his flushed cheeks. Pulling his hand away and grabbing a fistful of Brian's hair, the man forced Brian onto his knees, knife held steady against the blue vein in his neck. Brian's eyes snapped open in horror. He turned his head away as the man tried to force his face into his crotch.

"No--" He sobbed.

"Fucking whore!" The man snapped, yanking Brian forward by his hair. Brian yelped in pain. "Now!" More tears tumbled down Brian's face. He couldn't do it. The man ground his cock against Brian's lips, and Brian felt the urgent need to throw up. But then he felt the sting of the blade, nicking the tender skin of his neck. He inhaled sharply as several drops of hot blood seeped down over his clavicle. Where was Steve? Slowly--wanting merely to curl up and die, Brian opened his mouth. Impatiently, the man violently forced his cock inside, all the way to the back of Brian's throat, making Brian gag. A low moan escaped the man's lips as he thrust into Brian's mouth over and over. It was several minutes before the man--panting--finally wrenched Brian's head away from his swollen erection, and hauled him back onto his feet. Legs quivering, the tiny man would have fallen over, if it weren't for the vice like grip of his assailant. Brian's face was streaked with black tears, his eyeliner smeared hopelessly and running down his face.

The man smirked devilishly at Brian before removing the knife and forcefully turning Brian around, slamming him back up against the wall. Brian grunted as the air was forced out of him. He struggled, but the man had him pinned forcefully. Holding him down with one arm, Brian's attacker hoisted the crimson dress up, and moaned lustfully. Brian shivered in terror as the man tore Brian's lace panties off with an almighty wrench.

Brian flinched and bit back a cry as he felt the knife skimming across his lower spine, down to his ass, and between his thighs--Please--"He pleaded, his voice cracking

"Shut up, you stupid whore!" Brian sobbed, feeling the knife dig into his inner thigh, once more drawing blood.

****

Frowning, Steve looked around for Brian. He couldn't find him anywhere. "Brian?" Steve craned his neck, scanning the crowd for his short friend. Bewildered, Steve walked down the sidewalk, thinking that he might have gone to the next street in order to catch a taxi. He rounded the corner, eyes scanning the street for any sign of Brian. Everything was deserted--but then an odd noise reached Steve's ears. His inebriated brain took a second to register. Whirling around, Steve frantically searched for the source of the noise. He spotted the alley and started running, trying not to think about what he might find. Panting, Steve skidded into the alley and stopped dead, his eyes widening in horror. The same man from the club who'd threatened Brian, now had him pressed up against the filthy brick wall, a knife gleaming as it skated across the pale skin of Brian's bare ass.

Absolute fury, a kind Steve had never before felt in his life, took hold of the drummer. He could no longer see clearly--there was a roaring in his ears. Eyes blazing, Steve flew to the man who was trailing the knife in-between Brian's unprotected legs.

"Please," Brian was crying.

"Shut up, you stupid whore!" Steve saw the line of red appear on Brian's inner thigh.

"Oy!" Startled, the man turned. Steve grabbed the hand holding the knife, wrenching it backwards. Nails pressing into the man's arm, Steve yanked him away from Brian, still rotating the limb.

"Fuck!" The man screamed. Steve twisted the arm one last time. There was a sickening crack, and Steve felt the bones snap beneath his strong fingers. Beyond fury. Beyond rage. Steve took the knife as it fell from the man's limp hand. He reared his fist and decked his opponent between the eyes. Blood splattered everywhere as the nose broke. All he saw was a haze of red. Holding the blade clenched in his fist, Steve didn't even feel the blade cutting through his own hand. He brought it to the man's throat and was seconds from slitting through the bobbing flesh when he felt a violently trembling hand clutching at his shoulder.

"Steve no!" Dazed and confused, Steve looked up to see Brian staring down at him, eyes wide and terrified. His small body was wracked by vicious spasms, and a small wound on his neck was weeping blood. "Steve, don't!" Brian cried. The haze of red seemed to disappear, and suddenly Steve found himself back in the alleyway.

"Oh God Brian!" Steve dropped the knife with a clatter, and wrapped his friend in his arms. Brian melted into his embrace, shuddering against him. "It's ok, I've got you! I swear I've got you." The blood from Steve's hand smeared over Brian's cheek, as Steve gazed into his eyes.

"Steve you're hurt!" Brian chattered. Steve looked down at the gash across the palm of his hand.

"It's nothing." He shrugged it off, brushing his fingers over the mark on Brian's neck. "Did he hurt you anywhere else?" Steve's eyes flickered down to the slice on Brian's leg. Swallowing, Brian shook his head.

"No. You stopped him in time."

"Good." Steve looked over his shoulder, at the crumpled form of the man. "Fucking bastard. He's lucky you stopped me in time." He stood stock still, trying to control his breathing in a mad attempt to stop himself from launching at the heaving figure. "C'mon baby." Steve muttered at last, turning back to Brian and lifting him into his arms. "Time to go home."

****

Steve winced as Brian dabbed at his hand with the antiseptic. Brian glanced up at him, biting his lip, before reaching for the gauze. "I don't need that..." Steve protested, but stilled at the look in Brian's eyes. The guitarist held Steve's hand and tightly wound the cotton strips around the wound. Finished, Brian replaced the bandages and antiseptic back in Steve's medicine cabinet.

"There." He said quietly. "All done." He swept the bloody cotton wads into the rubbish bin. Steve stood up and cupped Brian's face in his hands.

"Your turn, Molks. You're all covered in blood." Brian swallowed and looked away. Setting him down on the toilet seat, Steve grabbed a soft cloth and ran it under the faucet. He then began to gently remove the smudges of blood from Brian's pale cheek, and then from the cut on his graceful neck. Grabbing a large bandage, Steve gingerly smoothed it over the slice across Brian's thigh. "There you go, Bri." Steve dropped the rag in the sink. Brian was trembling violently, trying to fight back tears. "Oh sweetheart," Steve murmured. He pulled Brian into a tight hug, feeling the smaller man cling to him. "Let's go to bed, yeah?" The small one nodded into his shoulder. Keeping an arm around Brian, Steve led him out of the bathroom and down the hall to the bedroom.

Flicking on the bedside lamps, Steve crossed to his dresser. After rifling through the top drawer a minute, Steve held up the smallest shirt he owned. "This work, Molks?" He asked. Brian nodded and caught the fabric as Steve chucked it to him. Slowly, he peeled off the wrinkled and crumpled dress, and then paused realizing he no longer had any underwear.

"Erm--Stevie, can I borrow some boxers?" He ventured timidly with a faint blush, holding the dress over his hips.

"Of course, Bri." Steve sifted through the clump of multi-coloured underwear until he found a pair that had shrunk in the wash. "They'll still probably be too big," He said looking them over. "But they'll work." He handed the plaid boxers to his friend who quickly stepped into them.

"Thanks, Steve." Brian muttered, scratching his head.

"Don't worry 'bout it." Steve stripped out of his bloody t-shirt and changed his boxers before getting in the bed. He patted the spot next to him and waited as Brian clambered in next to him. The guitarist cuddled up beside him, clutching Steve's arm.

"Steve--I--I can't even begin to--"

"Ssh." Steve interrupted, turning to face Brian. "You don't need to say it, Bri." They were quiet a minute, Brian's crystalline eyes fluttering shut. Steve leant over and turned off the light. Settling back down again, Steve let his eyes close, feeling Brian's heart beat against his chest. But then, he felt something new. The drummer's eyes snapped open. "Brian what are you doing?" He gasped.

"Please Steve." Brian pleaded meekly. "Let me--let me say thank you the only way I know how..." He trailed off uncertainly. Steve's brain told him he should tell Brian no, but his friend's hand was already making his heart race. So Steve said nothing. Brian wriggled down underneath the blankets, feeling his way to the elastic of Steve's shorts. Hearing the sharp intake of breath, Brian began to slowly peel Steve's boxers down over his hips. Inch by inch. Finally--though he couldn't see due to the lack of light under the blankets--Brian got the offending fabric all the way off. He brought his fingers up, travelling through the coarse hair until he found what he was looking for. Lowering his cheek, Brian nuzzled into Steve's crotch inhaling his scent and gently caressing the quickly hardening cock. A muffled whimper was all Brian needed to continue. Using his hands to guide him, Brian brought his mouth down to Steve's erection, slipping it inside. Steve bucked involuntarily, gasping heavily, his hands coming down to grip Brian's shoulders.

Brian took this all in stride, waiting for Steve to settle before beginning to move his tongue. A flick here, a stroke there. He swirled his tongue slowly around the head, and then along the underside. Judging from Steve's harsh breathing and muffled moans Brian was doing something right--Still sucking diligently, Brian moved his hands around until he found Steve's balls. Steve's hips twitched as the guitarist began to massage them in time with his tongue. "Fuck." Steve spluttered. Brian grinned to himself, and let his teeth, ever so slightly, scrape against Steve's shaft. "Fucking shit christ" The drummer exploded. Brian giggled, sending vibrations tingling up and down Steve's cock. "Oh God." Steve's large fingers pressed into Brian's shoulders as the smaller man deep throated him. Biting down hard on his lip, Steve fought to keep from screaming. Brian's mouth was so hot--so moist--he shuddered as he felt Brian's hands holding his hips to keep him steady. In the dim moonlight, all he could see was the hazy shape of the blanket bobbing up and down.

"Fuck Mollks--Im gonna--I'm coming--" Steve crushed his head into the pillow, arching his back. Brian sucked him in as far as he could, pulling the square hips closer into his face. With one last growl, Steve came hard, shooting his cum into the back of Brian's throat, who lapped it up without thought. There was silence, broken only by Steve's heavy panting, as Brian threw back the blankets, his hair a wild halo of electricity. He curled up in the hollow of Steve's chest as the drummer wrapped his arms around him, placing a gentle kiss on Brian's forehead. Brian's eyelashes fluttered shut.

"Thanks Steve." Brian murmured softly, already drifting off to sleep.

"You're welcome Brian." Steve whispered, smoothing back Brian's static-y hair with a fond smile.

"I love you, Stevie Bean..." His voice trailed off as his head lolled against Steve's chest. Steve stared at the dark ceiling and sighed. How the bleeding hell was he going to tell him now?

"I love you too, Molks."

****

Wrinkling his nose, Steve came into the living room where Brian was munching on his toast, settled comfortably on top of the counter. "Here's your dress, Bri." Steve held up the newly washed garment, and then folded it, placing it gently over the back of the couch.

"Thanks." Brian managed through a mouthful of toast. Steve didn't respond, letting his fingers slide over the cool material of Brian's dress. Brian cocked his head to one side. Judging by the absence of Steve's usual screeching at him to get off the counter, he knew something was up. "What's wrong?" He asked, swallowing his latest bite. Steve sighed, running a hand through his unkempt hair. Brian blinked once, pulling the toast away from his mouth. "Steve?"

"Bri--erm--remember last night I told you someone wanted me to sit in for them?" Brian nodded slowly, not liking where the topic was leading them. "Well--that wasn't the full truth--I mean they do want me to sit in--but--on tour..." He trailed off, trying to gauge Brian's reaction. The guitarist's lips parted slightly, and the toast fell from his fingers, landing butter-side down on the linoleum.

"You're leaving?" Brian whispered horrified.

"Not permanently, Molks." Steve reasoned, coming to stand by the counter.

"How long?" Steve scratched his ear and muttered something unintelligible.

"What?"

"Well it hasn't really been confirmed yet..."

"How long?" Brian demanded, trying to keep his voice steady, but failing miserably. Steve sighed again.

"Till next September." Brian blanched.

"That's a fucking year and a half!" He croaked. Steve tried to take Brian's buttery hand, but Brian wrenched it away, leaping off the counter.

"Bri," Steve pressed, his voice pained. "Bri, it's not so long--I promise I'll call and--I'll be back for a month or so over Christmas..." He felt his heart break as Brian turned his back, refusing to look him in the eye. "Molks please--"

"Don't Steve." Brian cut him short, voice quavering. Staring at the wall as if it might tell him what to say, Brian swallowed.

"Brian, look at me." Steve said grabbing Brian's arm. Brian turned his head away, trying to hide the tears that were quickly forming. "Look at me." Careful not to hurt the smaller man, Steve pulled Brian around so that he was forced to face him. Steve put his hands on either side of Brian's face, looking into his wide eyes. "Sweetheart, it's not forever." Steve soothed, perplexed at the overly dramatic reaction. Brian wrenched away again, hugging his arms to his chest.

Steve sighed and pulled Brian backwards into a hug. "I promise everything will be ok while I'm gone, Bri." Steve breathed into Brian's ear. The guitarist squirmed uncomfortably, but Steve refused to let go. "Did you hear me, Brian?"

"Yes." Brian snapped crossly. "And you're fucking squishing me! I can't breathe." Sighing heavily, Steve pulled back. Brian's shoulders slumped the second he felt the strong arms withdraw. A solitary tear tumbled down Brian's cheek, still lightly smudged with dark eyeliner.

"Steve..." Brian whispered meekly, turning to stare at the drummer uncertainly. His own eyes glistening, Steve once more opened his arms. This time, Brian launched himself at his best friend.

"Everyone leaves." Brian whimpered, his face hidden in Steve's shirt. Steve frowned.

"What?"

"Everyone leaves me." Steve wiped away the tear tracks with his thumb and pulled Brian even closer.

"I promise I'm not leaving you, Molks." Brian clung to the drummer as if his very life depended on it. "I promise I'll come back for you." Brian shuddered, soaking Steve's t-shirt. Steve closed his eyes. He'd expected Brian to be upset, but he hadn't thought Brian would take it like this--as if Steve were abandoning him. "And besides, in the meantime, Gypsum's here for you--and Gyp won't ever leave you." Brian sniffed. "And just think, Bri. With your scary boyfriend gone, how many new guys are you gonna pick up, eh?"

"But what if I don't want them?" Brian's lip trembled. "What if they're like the guy last night?" Steve hesitated and then hitched up his grin.

"Well I'll just have to pay for a bodyguard to follow you around, won't I?" Brian smiled weakly.

"Will he be hot?"

"Very."

"Well that's ok then." Brian sniffed again, pulling back from Steve, trying not to show how hurt he really was. He had known it would happen again, but he hadn't been prepared for it to happen so soon. He wanted Steve all to himself for as long as possible. Stocking up on those few precious moments before the inevitable happened, and Steve found someone new. Someone better and more exciting than stupid, fucked-up Brian Molko.

"Brian?" Steve asked his face creased with worry. "Brian, if you really want me to stay, I won't go." Brian stopped, staring up at his best friend in shock. Steve was willing to give up everything. Give up his entire future career, to stay and take care of Brian. The shorter man hesitated a split second, the word 'stay' poised on the tip of his tongue. But instead, he shook his head, and forced a watery smile.

"No." He choked out. "Don't give up your dreams because of me. I'll survive without you for a little bit." No I won't! his mind screamed, but he ignored it. Steve searched Brian's face for a moment before breaking into a grin.

"God Molks, you've no idea how much your approval means to me." Brian gritted his teeth, keeping the smile wavering, but in place. Beyond elated, Steve planted a sloppy wet kiss on Brian's forehead. "I promise I'll call--probably not for the first couple of weeks 'cuz everything'll be really hectic..." Brian nodded.

"I'l miss you--but I'll manage." Brian swallowed, furiously wiping away tears. He forced a laugh. 'Look at me. God I'm such a girl." Steve smirked.

"Nah--you're too pretty to be a girl." This time, Brian let out a small genuine giggle.

"Aw Steve, there's hope for you yet!"

"I dunno Bri--you may be right! That blowjob last night was pretty phenomenal." Brian blushed crimson.

"Thanks." He mumbled, scratching his ear in embarrassment. Steve winked and ruffled Brian's hair.

"C'mon Missy, I'll drive you home."

****

"Ok Molks, I'll stop by on Monday before I leave, alright?" Brian nodded silently, sliding out of the car. "And I'll bring you home lots of presents, yeah?" Steve winked, and Brian forced a weak smile.

"Alright Steve, see you later." Brian slammed the car door and shuffled up the steps to his flat. After fumbling with the key for a minute, Brian managed to force it into the lock, and push the door open. The flat was dead silent, and all the lights were off. Frowning, Brian closed the door behind him. "Gyp?" There was no answer. It was nearly three in the afternoon. Why wasn't Gypsum back yet? Confused, and slightly worried, Brian stripped off his borrowed jacket and wandered through the still apartment. "Gyp?" He paused in the bedroom, but it was empty.

Brian dropped his jacket on the bed and looked around. Ah ha! Brian thought elatedly, as he noticed the blinking answering machine. Eagerly, he crossed to it and punched the play button, settling down on the floor next to it. Immediately, the cool detached voice began to play: "You have. One. New message. And zero. Old messages." Brian tapped his fingers impatiently. "First. New message: Hey Brian," He sat up quickly as Gypsum's voice floated out of the speaker. "It's me--obviously. I have some great news. I'm still at Larry's, and I'm gonna stay tonight as well." Brian frowned in distaste. Why on earth was Gypsum staying a second night? "But I might be home tomorrow morning to grab some of my stuff." Brian's heart nearly stopped. What? "Don't worry, I'm not moving out on you. I'm looking out for us." Gypsum's voice lowered to a conspiratorial whisper. "He's got the good stuff, Bri. And if I stick around long enough, he'll give me some." Brian's eyes widened. "So I'll see you around. Love ya!" The machine beeped, and silence fell back over the room. Brian sat frozen on the hard floor. Gypsum had left him for some dealer! First Steve, and now Gypsum.

Brian was right. One by one, they always left.

****

Brian poked his head out from under the blanket as he heard the door open. "Gyp?" He mumbled, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.

"Hey Brian--I've gotta run, I'm only grabbing some of my clothes." Gypsum rummaged through the closet, stuffing things in a bag. Brian pushed the blanket off.

"How long are you going for?" He asked, attempting to keep the resentment from his voice.

"I don't know." Gypsum answered absentmindedly. "Could be a couple weeks." Brian sat up in horror.

"A couple weeks? But what about our gigs?" Gypsum didn't even look at him; too busy deciding which sex toys she needed.

"There are more important things, Bri."

"What?! Gyp this is our only source of income!" Gypsum turned to face him, her face feverishly flushed.

"C'mon Bri! You know even with those gigs we could never afford this much smack! We need this! And if we have to miss a couple of gigs for it, so what! You, Steve, and Geo can go on without me if it's so important to you."

"No we can't!" Brian said hotly, folding his hands over his chest. "Steve's gone. There's nothing Geo and I can do without a singer!"

"You sing then!" Gypsum folded her own arms, staring him down. Even without heels, Gypsum was taller than him. And when she was angry, Brian's basic instinct was to duck and cover.

"You can't just leave us hanging there, Gyp!"

"Excuse me, Brian," Gypsum spat. "For trying to look after us! I'm fucking this guy to get you your fix!"

"Well maybe I'd prefer to eat!" Brian said furiously, struggling to get off the bed.

"Whatever Brian. I have to go. Larry's waiting in the car." She snatched up a fistful of lacy bras and stormed from the room. Brian stood stalk still, unable to believe what had just occurred. In all of his life, he'd never had a fight with Gypsum. Sure they'd argued over small things, but never seriously. Slowly, Brian sank back down on the bed, his mind a tattered mess.

Even playing without Steve would have been difficult. But now without a keyboardist and vocalist, Brian and Geo were fucked. There was nothing the two of them could do on their own, and there was no way in hell Brian was going to sing. For what seemed like ages, Brian merely sat there, staring at the wall. His life was going to hell, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

****

She'd been gone a week, missing three gigs so far. Brian had half believed, half hoped that Gypsum would walk back in, laughing and professing about how sorry she was for scaring him like that. But she didn't. Geo had waited around for the first couple days but when Gypsum didn't return, he caught the next flight to Italy to make it to his sister's wedding. So it was just Brian. Wasn't that the story of his life? Just Brian. So all alone, and rapidly running out of groceries, Brian had dug into his private stash, which stayed hidden in the closet. Unfortunately, it hadn't stayed quite as hidden as he'd remembered. Instead of the expected two hundred pounds, he found thirty quid.

Brian sat with his head between his knees, trying to ignore the pure shittiness that was his current life. There was a knock on the door, but Brian hardly budged. Whoever it was would leave eventually, so why even bother with the hassle of getting attached? The pounding got louder. "Molks? Molks are you in there?" Brian blinked lethargically, and straggled to his feet. Swallowing a wave of depression, he opened the door and peered out. At once, Steve shoved the door open and barrelled inside, a bag slung over his shoulder.

"I'm off Molks!" He jabbered, catching Brian in a backbreaking hug that lifted the smaller man off the floor. He dropped the guitarist back to the ground and stepped back. Brian rubbed his neck ruefully, and forced a grin.

"Remember you promised to call as soon as you could." He poked Steve in the stomach and the drummer beamed.

"Of course! Plane leaves in four hours. Starting off in L.A. Isn't that just fucking fantastic, Molks?" Steve hugged Brian tightly again. Brian swallowed the fresh batch of tears that threatened, and nodded.

"I'm happy for you, Stevie B." Brian smiled, praying that Steve couldn't tell how he really felt. "Remember your condoms--don't want you bringing back any fucking American diseases--you don't know where those birds have been." Steve roared with laughter.

"Is that 'fucking American diseases' or 'American fucking diseases'?" Despite himself, Brian grinned.

"Both."

"Well don't you worry your pretty little head, Molks. I've got plenty stashed away." He winked and patted his bag. Steve glanced at his watch. "Right, well I should be off. Is there anything you need before I go, love?" Anything he needed--money. He needed food--Brian blinked up at his best friend. There wasn't a care on Steve's face. Only pure happiness. Brian shook his head.

"Nah. I'm fine. Have fun Stevie. And--don't forget me?" Steve laughed again, crushing Brian in a huge bear hug.

"Oh I won't Molks." He boomed, not realizing that Brian hadn't been joking. "I'll see you at Christmas!" With one last kiss on the cheek, Steve was gone, the slam of the door still ringing in Brian's ears. He knew that Steve would have gladly loaned him money, but Brian couldn't bear to wipe that look of bliss from the drummer's face. But now with Steve totally gone, Brian was more alone than ever.

*****

A week later and Gypsum still hadn't returned. Oh, she turned up every once in a while to grab new clothes, but every time she left without speaking to him. Gypsum's absence forced Brian to miss another three gigs. The loss of those opportunities to play lost Brian his opportunity to eat. The thirty quid had soon run out, and he had no other source of income. He couldn't call his parents, because they'd already told him that he would receive no more help from them until he got a proper job. But who was going to hire a junky Nancy boy with no work experience to speak of?

Brian leant against the cool window of the train, trying to ignore the rumbling in his stomach. Swallowing, Brian closed his eyes. He was so hungry--he hadn't eaten since Friday morning. It was now Monday night. He heard his stop being heralded, and forced himself to his feet. Swaying through the crowd, he managed to get off the train without falling in the gap. Brian's head was spinning, and he was feeling fainter than ever--"Brian?" Blinking sluggishly, Brian looked up to see his overly gleeful drug dealer bounding towards him. "Hey! I haven't heard from you in ages!" Brian managed a shrug.

"Sorry--I haven't got any money for you Danny." He muttered, his stomach growling loudly in testimony. Danny's grin began to slip as he looked over Brian.

"Hey man, you don't look so hot."

"I'I haven't eaten since Friday."

"Fucking Christ man!" Danny grabbed Brian's arm as he swayed dangerously. "No gigs?"

"No band." Brian said thickly, his head spinning again. Holding Brian upright, Danny began steering him away, and Brian was too weak to resist.

"C'mon, Brian. I'll get you something to eat."

"I can't." Brian tried to protest. "No money to pay you back."

"Don't worry Brian." Danny smirked. "You know you've got something much better than money."

****

Brian finished the food on his plate, before looking up at Danny. The dealer was sitting across from him, watching Brian's every move. "Better?" Brian swallowed and nodded.

"Yeah." He said meekly. "Thanks." Danny grinned.

"So tell me, Brian. What happened to the band?" Brian shrugged, trying to force away the hurt.

"Steve went on tour with some other band--the Boo Radley--I think it was--and Gyp is off fucking some bloke for smack." Danny's eyes widened slightly.

"Jesus."

"I know." Brian fidgeted with the hole in his jeans. He knew what Danny wanted, but was glad that the dealer had the decency to wait for Brian's food to settle. Or so he thought--Brian's heart sank as Danny stood up and sidled around behind him. He felt Danny's hands wrap around his chest, and his warm breath against his neck.

"You know the drill, Brian." He breathed against Brian's ear. "You give me what I want, and I'll give you what you need."

"No--no smack." Brian managed as Danny sucked lightly on his neck. Danny chuckled lightly.

"No, I don't accept sexual favours for that, Brian. One shag, one meal--I'm not made of money you know..." Brian closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears. He was full now, and it was easy for his stomach to tell him to say no. But his brain told him that tomorrow he'd be hungry again. And the next day after that. And the day after that. He had no choice.

"Ok." He whispered. Danny bit down on the tender flesh, making Brian wince. His heart began to pound faster and faster as Danny pulled him out of the chair, and swivelled him around so he could gain access to the soft cherry lips...

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