Sharpie Love

5. Have you ever seen a Rainbow? Yes, I have. I've seen several. My first one seemed perfect, in the field right across from my house. My mother and I saw double rainbows once from the car. The last ones I saw were the ones that my plane flew threw on the way out of Philly International during my second plane experience ever. Of course, there are also the ones that I pay attention to in crystal and what-not.

6. If you had to name one thing that rules you, what would it be? The opinion of others. No matter how often or how strongly I tell myself and others that I'm selfish and everything has to be my way and I don't care about other people's opinions of me... It matters more than anything in the world sometimes.

9. If you could exist as one animal what would it be? - And why? I'm already an animal and I'm not really interested in being a different one. I rather like my thumbs.

10. What is your main goal in life? At the moment, it's emotional/physical/financial well-being. That may seem like an odd combination, but on a part-time job that pays just above minimum wage, one begins to grasp the reality of commerce.

11. What is your worst fear? Alienating myself from everyone I love.

13. Do you believe in destiny/fate? At the same time that I believe in it, I also believe that individual destiny is corruptable through either accidental or purposeful means.

15. What is your favorite season? Winter. I can always put more clothes on if I'm too cold, but a person can only get -so- naked when it's too hot. One of my favorite sensations is having on my great coat and walking out the door to get an icey blast of air on my throat just before I give in to my muffler.

17. Do you feel, in any way, more sensitive to your enviroment or others than other people seem to be? And if so, how? My sister, mother, and myself have had several conversations about how people just don't look up at the sky in this age. I'm in love with stars. They're the root of my spirituality... But I know so many people that don't even know how to find the "Big Dipper" at night. They barely even know what phase the moon is in my looking. During the day it's even worse. They don't notice if the sky is blue, grey, or magenta!!

18. Do you think someday, you'd want children? Maybe. I'm far too selfish and too financially unstable for children right now, but I'm sure my biological clock will kick in just like most other women. And, hey, even if it doesn't, I'd still like to adopt and give a kid that's -already- here a break in life. I'm not too keen on the idea of having a 9month illness that I'm supposed to love after it puts me through the biggest pain I may ever endure in life.

30. What is the most frightening thing that has happened to you in your life? I have an amazing fear of being alone. The most frightening thing I can think of right off the top of my head is getting lost at the Ohio state fair. I think I was 9 or 10 years old when it happened. I walked all the way around the fair ground several times without finding my parents or my cousin Charles and had been panicking for quite awhile when I finally worked up the nerve to approach the gaurd post when my cousin found me. I was still worried about my parents' location, but the fact that someone I knew was standing there beside me was a real life-saver.

39. If you could change ONE thing about yourself, what would it be? And why? My temper. I have a very short, hot temper that gets me into a lot of trouble. I would like for my temper to be calmer or I'd like to have a longer fuse. I end up hurting a lot of people I really care about because my mouth just tends to run away with itself and my mind goes into meltdown when I get angry. I almost always regret what I've said in anger.

44. What is the most risky thing you have done in your life so far? Having unprotected sex is the first thing that popped into my mind. Having a child right now would ruin my life.

47. Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas? I got everything and more. I usually have no idea what to ask for, so I asked for things I needed, then got a few things besides.

50. If you could choose to live forever or not which would you choose? Unless 'drew was also given the choice, I would choose to die whenever the time came. If he was also allowed to choose, I would want to live forever with him.