Do you know you're a dream walker? Did it ever occur to you that your presence could haunt my childhood from behind prison bars a tenth of the way across the world? Well, I'll tell you...
It started out in a cow field. Green and sunny and something the little girl me knew and trusted. He was so far away at first. I came to associate Him with protection. Light. Even an innocent sort of love that I don't think I've had for anyone else aside from my own nephews. This Man returned to me night after night in my dreams. Each night, never speaking, we stepped closer to each other across that open plain. Until we were standing face to face. Sometimes so close that We were One person looking in opposite directions at the same time.
By the time we were that non-distance apart, we were standing in an expansive field of golden grain under a sky so blue it breaks my heart to only see it in dreams. A turquoise sky that makes the native in my vains surge with pride for my mother land. His eyes are my focal point. I've written poetry about those faded-out blue cowboy's eyes more than once.
At first I thought he had that sort of deep tan you get from spending a great deal of your life outside. But later, as we neared one another, I realized it was copper. As shiningly copper as the grain was gold. I got into a lot of trouble as a teenager looking for my real life god with that shaggy, malnutrition-blonde hair. Even outside of the dream I knew he was real, knew he was someone trying to step into my life and tell me something. Maybe it was meant to be a good omen, but it lead me through a string of bad relationships and serious sexual trauma. |
