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Ronn's apartment was fucking ages away. I got there exhausted. As I opened the door, an leather-skinned, older woman in white PVC go-go boots, hot pants and basically a bikini appeared behind me. She winked at me and walked in the direction of a security guard as I held the door open for her.
The three of us got to the already packed elevator at the same time, forcing us to uncomfortably squeeze together.
"Nup, piss off, get the other elevator" the security guard said to me through a food-encrusted moustache.
"What? Hah," I said, unflinching, thinking the fat guy was being funny.
"Look mate, I'm not sharing an elevator with you," he said, this time pushing me out.
What a fat fuck. I'm not sure how many of you prostitutes think pushing around little kids is impressive or sexy, but I'm sure he acted like a prick just to show what a cool character he was, in an effort to get extra headies.
Getting the next elevator, I stroked my chin, wondering how much he was paying for her, and whether a strapping young lad like myself could possibly get a Schoolies a discount. Then, I got a stiffy.

I knocked thricely on Ronn's door, a pantsless Ronn answering the door on my fourth stroke.
"Fuck mate, why do you have stiffy?" he enquired, peering at my turgid little parsnip, then at his own underpant-clad crotch. "Never mind. Come in, come in..."
I remember sitting on his couch, drinking a chocolatey, almondy milk drink he'd made for me. Then after that, I don't remember much at all. All I remember is ordering shark penis soup from a Japanese restaurant, eating shark penis soup from a Japanese Restaurant, a small Japanese girl pleading with me that she serve me in a Japanese restaurant, and Ronn do a hideous fart in a Japanese restaurant. Of course, this was immediately met with riotous laughter and applause from both myself and the other, solely Japanese diners. Thinking back further, I can remember that it was one of my first times being a minority (except for that Tuesday afternoon when I thought I was gay). It wasn't a particularly harrowing experience, and actually empowering in a lot of ways.
Two $4.50 Bundy and Cokes, a platter of brown shit, and 3 horrible Karaoke renditions of Tom Petty's 'Free Falling' later, Ronn and I thought it was best we leave this strange, new world.
Sucking in the warm, stringy, mucous-like puddle of the remaining shark penis soup, Ronn and I left to even more applause. I just didn't get it.
Giving Ronn a cuddle, looking into his eyes and telling him how good it was to catch up, I patted him on the bum as I turned on my heel to make the long, tiresome trek home.