Movies | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Read My Movie Reviews For The Now Defunct UIC Today!!! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
The Movies of 2005 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Cinematic Feast: Will Make My Top Ten List of the Year | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Close To Being Recommended Movies | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Dark Water - I've got to give credit to Walter Salles and the cast of this movie for trying to give a horror film a heart, soul, and brain. The atmosphere, lighting, and camera angles are all beautifully accomplished. Unfortunately, the actual plot (the scares) is dull and the ending is unsatisfyingly sad and numbing. I didn't just pay $5.75 and sit through 90 minutes of a horror flick to have the cliches fall apart Kingdom Of Heaven - Oye...Halfway through this lethargic Crusader epic, I realized something; the screenplay was so flat and characterless that the younger actors (Orlando Bloom and Eva Green) despite their talents, could do nothing to save that movie. Orlando Bloom, theoretically the lead, is essentially a figurehead in his own movie and is given little motivation for anything. This could have been great; instead it was boring and featuring a ridiculous romantic subplot. Last Days - Gus van Sant's look at the last days of a Kurt Cobain-inspired singer is beautiful to look at but glacial to experience. He also poorly incorporates the shifting time format of "Elephant" (a better film). I enjoyed moments and the general indictment of the stupidity of the grunge generation is appreciated as is the silliness of the deification of a Cobain-like person, but aside from that, the film has very little to say and takes forever saying that. Me and You and Everyone You Know - This one was a real disappointment for me. The film suffers from one indie cliche after another and is way too quirky for its own good, and for the audience to really connect with what's going on. The people don't seem to be real, in fact I have trouble recalling one moment of real, logical human emotion in the whole film. Good acting by the cast who desperately try to make the audience believe in their skewed real world. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - This should have been better. Of course that would require George Lucas to stop masturbating to old pictures of Carrie Fisher and then turning his cum into dialogue. Nice sense of epic doom and tragedy, but the dialogue and acting...ugh... |
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Downfall - Probably the best film ever made that attempts to show the last days of the Third Reich in Berlin as Hitler goes clearly mad in the bunker. Great performances. |
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Very Good Film: A Highlight of the Year | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Batman Begins - I thought that this would be good with an accomplished director and cast, but I didn't think it would be this damn good. Great acting and good plotting make this the best Batman movie since the Tim Burton ones and successfully sets the stage for sequels that could be just as intriguing and psychologically creepy. Just tell Nolan to film the fight scenes better. The Constant Gardener - Professional, intelligent, depressing; all those things we've come to expect from art movies about corruption in Africa. Great work from Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz. I need to see this again. Crash - While I realize that the characters are all ciphers and that the circumstances in which they interact are all way too coincidental, I think that the movie has some very important things to say about racism and people in general. Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room - Engrossing and easy to follow documentary involving the rise and fall of Enron. Though the filmmakers tend to rely on pop music and gimmicky cut-aways (ala Michael Moore) too heavily, this is still a well-made movie that has a wonderful commentary on how the fall of Enron was an indictment of what people are willing to do to reach the "American Dream" these days. Palindromes - We follow Aviva, a girl whose only goal in life is to have children. When she gets pregnant at a young age, her liberal mother forces her to get an abortion, causing her to run away from home into the arms of a pedophile, then, a good born again Christian family, but something's not right there... Todd Solondz continues to make intriguing films about subjects most people won't touch. Sin City - It's all style, and little substance, but is presented stunningly and is never, ever dull. Good work by Willis and Rourke. Stay - Probably the movie that people who read this site (all 5 of you) will have the biggest problem with its ranking. For my two cents, I was intrigued by this story about a psychiatrist, his wife, and his patient. Great work by McGregor and an unrecognizable Janeane Garofalo. Yes, the ending may mean that the audience has been tricked for 100 minutes, but I liked that trick. |
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Some Redeeming Facets... Somewhere... Don't Ask Me To Find Them, Though | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
2 For The Money - I feel as if this should be in the above list, but I can only come close to recommending this if you're an Al Pacino-cholic. He chews the scenery very nicely and Rene Russo has good moments as his wife, but Matthew McConaughey and the plot suck the life out of this movie. The Boys & Girl From County Clare - One of those "Irish Slice Of Life, Oh Aren't We So Fucking Quaint" movies that makes you realize why the Protestants kill Irish Catholics. So deriviative... trite...bad... Fantastic Four - 10 or 15 years ago, this would have been passable summer entertainment. Big, loud, showy, with decent special effects. However, in the age of Batman Begins, Spiderman 2, and X-2, this movie just seems dated and boring. Uninteresting plot, crap dialogue, and boring....very dull...and boring... But it really isn't that bad of a movie. Odd, no? House Of Wax - Yeah, I know I come with low expectations to a horror movie, but this just wasn't good. And the worst thing about it, interestingly enough, was not Paris Hilton. The only reason this movie is not in the "Absolute Crap" section is because of the really nifty set design that incorporates Art Deco and Art Moderne patterns into the entire tiny town. The was figures are also well done as well as some of the deaths. Remind me not to get encased alive in wax... The Island - A promising first third full of sleek mystery and good acting falls prey to a final two-thirds full of so-implausible-I-can't-enjoy-this explosions/chases, heavyhanded ethical questions, no dialogue, and idiotic character shifts. Well made, but crap. Millions - Normally magical reality works for me (see "Amelie", "A Very Long Engagement", even "Eternal Sunshine" to a certain extent), but this film sat on my head and crushed it. The story of two boys who find a suitcase of cash and how it changes them, the script wants to do way too much and succeeds in doing virtually nothing. The ending is also a catastrophe...nothing like the old cliche of liberal whites bringing water to poor, stupid, Africans... |
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Good Movie: You'll Enjoy This On Cable | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Brokeback Mountain - The hype machine for this machine has put it in an awkward position. It's a good movie, but ultimately the homosexual love story isn't nearly as interesting as the two failing heterosexual marriages that our "heroes" are "roped" into. Decent acting, spectacular cinematography, and a nice music score can't diminish the fact that the viewer can definitely tell that the source material was a (very) short story. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - I'm so inclined to put this in the "Very Good" category, but I can't for two reasons. 1) The flashbacks, though enjoyable, are stupid and ultimately rather unnecessary. They are also terribly cut into the film and 2) The characters of Grandpa Joe and Charlie seem to have absolutely no dimension (not the actors' fault) so as we see the factory through their eyes...we/I didn't really care. On the plus side are the visuals (amazing), the Oompa-Loompas (Deep Roy, you rock), and Johnny Depp (mugging a bit shamelessly, but always entertaining. Constantine - You'd better not be religious if you plan on seeing the film and drawing something meaningful. It's silly and preposterous, but enjoyable. Tilda Swinton makes the most awesome androgynous Gabriel ever. The Family Stone - A perfectly enjoyable little Christmas movie that stays within the confines of its genre but is able tol give off a genuine feeling of holiday and good tidings. Heights - The movie is predicatble, yes, and the fact that it's based on a stage play is rather obvious. However, the acting is superb (Glenn Close rules and Rufus Wainwright has a nifty supporting role) and there are some nice moments in it. Definitely recommended for theatre majors. The Interpreter - There are many plot holes and logic problems in this film, but to simply see an intelligent political thriller these days is a wonderful thing. Sean Penn and Nicole Kidman live up to their expectations as actor/stars. Kung Fu Hustle - I was expecting to enjoy this movie more... It left me kind of cold, even though I appreciated the artistry. There's also something about a kung fu master that always has a cigarette in her mouth that is wonderful. Lord of War - An absolute blast of a movie that I never, ever have to see again. Nicholas Cage does a great job with a great role and handles the character's moral swerves with aplomb. The movie could be less stylish and more smart, but the fact that a movie this thoughtful got released as a sort-of action/summer flick is an accomplishment in and of itself. Mr. and Mrs. Smith - The audience member wants me to put this in a higher category; for two hours I was thoroughly entertained by two beautiful people trying to kill each other. But the critic in me says: Is this all it takes for you stupid Americans to be entertained? Munich - I got no real feeling for these people in the movie and wasn't terribly interested in anything. It was three hours of somewhat crappy plotting with a not terribly good last ten minutes. Must Love Dogs A perfectly harmless little romantic comedy that sticks to every rule in the book yet comes out competent and intelligent. I enjoyed it and am not ashamed to admit it. Mysterious Skin - Fascinating movie about a boy who was molested and a boy who claims he was abducted by aliens and how they end up relating to each other. Fantastic acting (especially by Joseph Gorden-Leavit) and good directing undermined by the story a little bit. War of The Worlds - The ending is weak. The main characters deserve this ending, but it could have been a lot better and less cloying. However, the movie is consistently terrifying with fantastic special effects and believable performances. A thinking person's summer blockbuster. |
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Utter And Complete Crap | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
The Producers - It pains me to put this movie at the bottom of the list, but it was terrible. I didn't enjoy one overdone, hammy minute of it. I also say this as someone who adored the stage show. Nothing works in this movie. Nothing. It made me angry and bored. |
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I like movies. Can you tell? Movies are fascinating things because they allow us to live our lives through other people. We always feel free to judge movie characters however we see fit. If a character does something dumb, we automatically assume that we would have done it better or not it all as the case may be. Movies are inherently magical and can often seem more real than life. I know that I approach schizophrenia with that comment, but t'ever. Therefore, because I've seen way too many movies for someone my age, I decided to make a list of my favorite movies. Fifty-six to be exact. They are in alphabetical order because any true movie buff should not be able to name his favorite movie. That's absurd... |
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IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE to WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? |
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ABOUT A BOY to THE HOURS |
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My Complete List of The Movies of 2004 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Top Ten of 2003 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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