What does it mean to be a man today?
The dynamism of the men's movement of the 1990's was in many ways similar to the women's liberation movement of 20 years before. But there are considerable dissimilarities too. For example, while women's liberation was in many ways a discussion of power and influence, the men's movement is focused more on self-awareness and returning to roots. Self-actualization vs self-realization.
While Gloria Steinem and Andrea Dworkin talked about the need for liberation, in "Iron John", Robert Bly talked about the need to recover forms of initiation for contemporary males and the need of younger men to have mentors. Patrick Dougherty has talked about our need to learn from other men, "To be truly intimate with either men or women, a man must establish the deep foundation of his masculinity. This can be discovered only in the company of other men. It should be obvious that we cannot learn it from women, or from men who practice only a feminine style of intimacy." As any therapist will tell you, we are different and it is the difference which we need to embrace and celebrate. Perhaps we have to dim the feminization of men.
Moore & Gillette defined the four mature male archetypes: king, warrior, magician & lover. One question facing the man on the edge of the new millennium is can he fit into those archetypes and if he does, how comfortable is the fit? Do we have to define new archetypes?
"It used to be easy for men - full employment was virtually guaranteed and a sense of masculinity and power could be derived from work. Men still want their masculinity confirmed through work, but that's no longer so easily achieved. As well as the risk of unemployment, men face job insecurity through the short-term contract, increased competition from women and the decline of the traditional heavy industries with their demand for hard physical labour. "Employers now require staff with more 'feminine' skills such as teamwork and communication. If we're working in a fast-food restaurant, the boss wants us to be friendly and pleasant to the customers, not to terrify them by pulsating our pectorals. And with women now making up about half the working population, men can no longer see themselves as the sole family breadwinner."
It's not only on the economic level that men are feeling disoriented. Culturally, men are on the short end of the stick at the moment. Consider media portrayals of men as bumbling, inept fools. Perhaps it's time for both genders to drop the "dumb blonde" caricatures. The UK writer "Perseus" says men are facing a crisis as feminism marches on, "It is now acceptable and popular to blame 'maleness' for every negative human trait in a way that would be unthinkable, and actually illegal, if the same criteria were applied to Blacks, Jews, Asians or homosexuals. The 'rules' do not apply to men.”
And perhaps that's where some of our problems begin. The rules have changed so much over the last 20 or 30 years that our concepts of manhood, masculinity and maleness have been battered around pretty badly. How much are we to blame for that? "Man's inherent nature is to be curious, gentle, intimate, responsible, enthusiastic, sensual, tolerant, courageous, honest, vulnerable, affectionate, proud, spiritual, committed, wild, nurturing, peaceful, helpful, intense, compassionate, happy and to fully and safely express all emotions. When will we stop training him to be otherwise?" (Gordon Clay)
As men, how conscious are we of the role models that we present to our younger brothers? Do we take the time to assist the teenager in trouble or the young father trying to cope with a new family and two jobs? The Boys Town ad still says, "he ain't heavy - he's my brother". How many of us think about that responsibility? Or do we any longer consider that we have a responsibility to our brothers? Or, do we revert to the survival of the fittest mentality to protect our own fragile, mortal shells?
One of the strengths of the women's liberation movement was the strong bonds and networking developed by the women. They were able to achieve that on all levels. As men, we're good at networking in business, but we have to expand that. We have to see these issues as a common problem that affect all of us and require our attention. It's then that the New Warrior training, the Promise Keepers promises and the rest of the men's movement will gel in a way that will exceed all of our expectations.
The Nation of Men lists as its top priority "to support and honor men, team and community". Sounds like a good place to start!
Hopefully those are some of the issues that will be raised here in the Warrior Soul Resource Centre..
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