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The co-author for this episode is Kary Ann. You are an AMAZING writer to work with and I owe you lots!
NOTE: Please don?t send either Kary Ann or I hate mail! :)

Episode Six ? Is It Chicken or Not?

***** Team Pagong *****

?This is where both of your tribes will merge into one new tribe.? Jeff announced after all the remaining members of Team Taki ? Mark, Christina, Nicky and J. Lo dumped their smelly belongings onto the beach of Team Pagong.
?Finally! Some fresh new faces!? Chyna yelled out after seeing both Nicky and Mark wearing no shirts.
?What is that bitch doing here?? Christina stared at Britney.
?Talk to the hand!? Britney stuck her hand into Christina?s face and walked off.
?Oh Lord,? Nicky groaned. ?I?m stuck with a transvesite and three self-absorbed divas.?
Jeff grabbed his hat and blew his whistle. ?I?m off now. Don?t forget the immunity challenge tomorrow. We have a big surprise for you!?
Bryan screamed. ?Yay! I love surprises!?
?Shut up Bryan!? Everyone else snapped at him.

***** Later that night *****

?Mmm?. Chicken?..? Chyna mumbled in her sleep as she slept next to Nicky.
Chyna had a bad habit of sleepwalking and it was hard to not to now that she was sleeping next to Nicky Byrne, whom she considered the sexiest member in Westlife. ?I must go to the refrigerator to get some chicken.? Chyna continued to mumble.
Thinking that Nicky?s pants were the fridge, Chyna moved her hand underneath the covers and felt a zipper and started to unzip his pants. ?Thank God I opened the door.? Chyna continued to mumble in her sleep, not realizing that she was unzipping Nicky?s pants.
Chyna felt a huge object and slipped her head underneath the covers, thinking Nicky?s ?ding-dong? was the drumstick of the chicken she was imaging in her sleep.
?Oh yeah?.? Nicky murmured after feeling excited all of sudden.
?I?m hungry.? Chyna whispered and took a huge bite of the ?ding dong? she had her in hand.
?YEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!? Nicky screamed after feeling like someone had ripped his mini Nicky off his body.
?Who woke me up?? Chyna suddenly woke up growling, disoriented after hearing a loud scream.
?Oh my fucking?..? Nicky moaned in pain and looked underneath the covers to see his partner in crime all swollen with nasty bite marks all over it.
?Where?s my chicken?? Chyna blurted out in the darkness.
?You ate my?..? Nicky sputtered and winced in pain.
Christina screamed out inside the tent. ?Which jackass ruined my beauty sleep?? she yelled out and removed her sleep mask.
?Yeah! Me too! I was just dreaming of putting make up on Mariah Carey!? Mark wailed and removed his sleeping mask as well.
?Did you just say ?chicken??? Bryan piped in from the far corner of the tent.
?I?m never going to be able to make junior Byrnes.? Nicky cried out in pain and huddled into a ball. ?All that is left of my mini-Nicky is a twisted piece of hotdog!?
?Oh my god! I?ve caught the West Nile Virus from Nicky?s pecker which obviously looks like a chicken!? Chyna screamed and wiped her mouth in agony.
?Aaaahhh!!!! Get away from her!? J. Lo yelled out and everyone scurried away from Chyna and Nicky.

***** Immunity Challenge *****

?What is going on?? Britney exclaimed after approaching the immunity challenge site. There was a massive catwalk and bright lights everywhere.
Jeff popped out from the curtain and took a bow. ?Welcome to your immunity challenge. Now that the two tribes have merged into one, you will all vie to win immunity for yourself and not for the team. Once you win immunity with this Elton John statue, you cannot be voted off the island and you are safe for another three days.?
?Wow! Now this is my type of event!? J. Lo pushed through the other Survivors and jumped onto the catwalk.
?Hey! What the hell do you think you?re doing?? Jeff screamed at her and pushed J. Lo off into the sand.
?Ha ha!? Bryan teased J. Lo and made a funny face.
?Shut up Bryan! Is there anything in your brain besides air?? Jeff berated Bryan before taking a deep breath. ?Today?s challenge will test your catwalk abilities. We have selected an outfit for each of you and you are required to walk down this catwalk and display your modeling abilities. To determine a winner, we have three special celebrities judges to judge the contest and here they are!? Jeff applauded.
Angela Lansbury, Eminem and Ronald McDonald appeared from the curtains.
?Oh my god!!!? Britney screamed. ?I?m a huge fan of you Mrs. Fletcher! I loved your show!?
?Everybody, follow me to put on your selected outfits!? Jeff motioned for everyone to follow him behind the stage while Angela, Eminem and Ronnie took their seats.

***** Later on *****

Chyna appeared on the stage first wearing a huge diaper and a bib around her neck.
Eminem roared with laughter. ?Your prize should be a lifetime supply of Depends!?
?That reminds me. I need to buy some on the way home!? Angela commented and made a mental note.
? Say! Aren?t those the stolen napkins for the McDonald?s joint in Siberia?? asked Ronnie glaring sternly at Chyna looking at the bib.
?Here I am! Oh Mr. Ronald!!!!! I am like?a?BOMBASTIC fan for yours!!!! Can I have an autograph!?!?!?!?!?? Bryan shouted out gleefully wearing nothing but a silver thong.
?AAAHHHH!!!!! I?m blinded by the sight of this loser!? Eminem wailed and covered his eyes.
?What? is?. That?? Angela gasped and covered her eyes as well. ?Zero points for you! Yuck!?
?Sure you can, son!!!? said Ronnie. ?Say! Maybe you can come work for us! Our loo cleaner died last week cuz of the high cholestrol levels in our oil!?
After Bryan was forced off the stage by Jeff before he could explode in excitement, Britney slowly walked onto the catwalk with her face all red. She was wearing a nun?s attire. It was however slightly?ummm?awkward since the uhh?gown stopped just 3 inches below the hips.
? Isn?t it supposed to cover your cave-man legs??, asked Jeff puzzled.
? Stupid chest!?, cursed Britney for the first time. ? I knew I shouldn?t have gotten so much plastic! Now this whole shitty thing is stuck on my chest?.
? I can help you yank it down?, said Chyna meekly.
? Stay away from me you West nile-infested-mongrel?, shrieked Britney in fright and horror.
?I knew it! You?re not a virgin by the look of your face! What did your mama say?? Eminem taunted Britney.
?Tsk tsk. Shame on you.? Angela tutted, and marked Britney?s score down to a zero.
J. Lo followed Britney wearing Teletubbies underwear and an undershirt.
?Hey Hey Ho, looks like you?re a Po!? Eminem sang as J. Lo swore at him.
Angela looked confused. ?Who are the Teletubbies? Are they Barney?s cousins??
Up next was Christina wearing a Britney shirt with a boa constrictor around her neck.
?Hey bitch! I?d rather have the snake suffocate you to death than look at you!? Eminem screamed at Christina.
?You asshole! You ruined my life with that song of yours! I?ll suffocate you all right with my hair!? Christina screamed back and jumped off the platform onto Enimem who was choking on Christina?s hair and by her body odour.
?Heaven help me!? Angela gasped and swatted the flies away from her that followed Christina wherever she went.
Next up was Mark in Christina Aguilera?s Moulin Rouge outfit. He was all decked out in black garters.
?Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?? Mark sang as he shook his booty for some bonus points.
?Whoo! You?re making me blush!? Angela fanned her papers and blew Mark a kiss.
Mark grinned and slapped his bare booty for her. ?Anything for you, dearie!? He looked around to find Christina to impress her but saw Enimem choking her. ?Christina! Why are you not looking at me?? he screamed at Christina to get her attention. Halfway through the dance Mark completely forgot the routine!!!
?SHIT!! How did those whore?s do the whole thing?, he mused desperately. Meanwhile Angie Lansbery began shrieking and yelling for more. Mark had no choice but to move on to the next best thing?the macarena, much to Eminem?s utter fright and disgust.
?Get the hell off the stage!? Jeff?s voice boomed from the loudspeakers. Nicky appeared from the curtains wearing a stolen pair of J. Lo?s booty shorts and a tight tee resembled Barbie?s day with the band Steps.
?Aaaahhh!!!! That man is wearing my leather booty shorts!? J. Lo yelled and jumped onto the stage to rip them off Nicky.
?Noo!!!? Nicky wailed as J. Lo finally ripped them off, revealing Nicky?s ?ding dong? that was incredibly swollen and had teeth marks all over it.
?What is that?? Angela peered at Nicky?s lower body.
Eminem scratched his head in disbelief. ?It?s hard to tell.? He said and put his glasses on.
?Stop that!? Nicky cried and ran backstage.
Jeff got up on the stage and whispered to the judges about the votes. ?We now have a winner. Can I have a drum roll please??

~~~~~ Drumroll~~~~~~

?The winner is?.? Jeff held the Elton John statue high in the air. ?Mark!?
?I won?? Mark exclaimed. ?I won!!!!? he screamed in a shrill voice and sauntered over to pick up his award. ?I won!!!!? Angela Lansbury could be seen blowing kisses at Mark.
Jeff laughed at everyone?s ridiculous outfits. ?I?ll see you all at Tribal Council tonight to determine the sixth person voted off the island.?

***** Tribal Council *****

?Bryan, are you sure you?re not cold?? Jeff quizzically asked Bryan who still remained in his silver thong.
?No..p?e?? Bryan shivered and shook his head.
?Weirdo.? Jeff mumbled and looked over everyone else. ?By the way, as you can see, Mark has claimed the Immunity Idol. That means he cannot be voted off the island. Britney, you?re up first.?

***** Voting Booth Speeches *****

Britney: ?That nun outfit was too much for me. I?m almost feeling guilty right now. Oh gosh?. I think I caught the West Nile Virus from Chyna. She?s gone too far this time. Poor Nicky. He?s going to be shunned by girls forever now that his you-know-what has been reduced to the size of a prune. So Chyna, you gotta go.?

Chyna: ?I swear Nicky has contracted the virus! I feel really sick. How can I help it when his d*ck looks like a yummy piece of chicken. I?m going to vote Christina off because there?s something wrong with her voice. It?s too whiny and she reminds me of Robin Williams, which I won?t want to be reminded of again.?

Mark: ?I?m so glad I won immunity! I actually put some effort into something! That inspires me to want to lip synch for real in our next video! I?m going to put my vote to Chyna. What the hell is she? Some science experiment gone wrong? She even ate Nicky?s penis!?

Nicky: ?I?m in soooo much pain right now. Oh my god?. I?m voting Chyna off. She?s some sort of ax murdered. Who does she think she is? My Junior Byrne is not a toy! It?s my best friend! When you hurt my best friend, I?m gonna hurt you!?

Christina: ?I hate you Eminem! I?m glad you nearly choked to death on a fly that was in my hair! Hmph! I don?t care who?s going this week! I?m voting for Britney this week. No explanation needed!?

J. Lo: ?You peed in my booty shorts Nicky! Now the leather smells like poo for some reason! I think I?m doing you a favour by giving you the boot!?

Bryan: ?Oh gosh? Christina is so tiny. I wonder how she can have sex with someone with her size. It?s like she?s staring up at the guy?s thighs when he?s on top of her! Anyway, I?m conscious enough to make a clear vote. Hey! That was a big word! I?m voting Chyna off this week. That he-man has got to go! Man! What she did was not cool!?

***** Back at Tribal Council *****

?I?ve read and tallied the votes. I don?t care who goes because I?m getting paid big bucks to embarrass you guys on national TV.? Jeff complained and started to pull out the votes of the voting jar.
?Hurry up! I?m due for a mud mask back at camp!? Mark said and tapped his foot.
?First vote is J. Ho. What do you mean J. Ho? Oh yeah!!!!? Jeff chuckled evilly after realizing the meaning of the nickname.
?Shut up!? J. Lo screamed at Jeff and stuck the middle finger at him. Jeff pulled out the next piece of paper. ?Next vote is Chyna.? He continued to draw the papers. ?Chyna again. More votes for Chyna.?
?What the hell?? Chyna exclaimed.
Jeff rolled his eyes. ?You know what? I already counted the votes and I don?t feel like reading them. Chyna, you are the sixth person to be voted off the island!?
Chyna growled.
?Uh oh.? Bryan whimpered. ?Now?s the time to scram!?
?I said you?re gone!? Jeff yelled back. ?You stupid wrestler!?
Chyna marched over to Jeff and gripped him by the neck. ?I?ll show you who?s really the man!? she continued to growl and lifted Jeff up by one arm and choke slammed him through the podium.
?Urgh?.? Jeff moaned and closed his eyes. ?Ouch??
?Good bye. You?re on my hit list from now!? Chyna kicked Jeff in the ribs and picked up her bag and left.
?Help?.? Jeff whimpered and the rest of the Survivors were nowhere to be found.