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| "A Fresh Start Every Day" |
| Copyright © 1987 - 2000, W. H. Lee Ministries, All rights reserved. |
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| Jesus n' me |
| I spent the first thirty-four years of my life running away from Jesus because I was sure that I was doomed. I had even been thrown out of the Baptist Church because my mother refused to quit her job at a radio station that played Rock and Roll. I lived in rebellion. If it was scripture based I would have none of it. I became an anti Christian. To prove my point to others I used the fallen leaders of the church as an example that Jesus was nothing more than a scam to get money from the "Faithful" Then, when I was at my worst, the lowest depth of the abyss that I had created for myself, I asked God for help. I had nowhere else to go. I prayed to God for forgiveness, expecting nothing in return. What I got was the ability to come to terms with myself, my past, and Jesus. God brought others into my life that had walked where I had been and was at that time. They had their work cut out for them. Never one caught short for an explanation, I countered their words of faith and wisdom with sharp words of my own. Advised to "fake it until I make it" I kept up my little mental duel until I was faced with a trial where I had to make a choice of accept faith in God, or be flung back into the abyss. (Isn't it funny sometimes that it is always a choice that we can't get away from that often defines us and what we have become)? I still hadn't accepted Jesus. And didn't until almost two decades ago. I had been hardened against the church and those that were sitting in judgement of others on Earth. All of the pictures I had seen portraying Jesus were so solemn. So serious. So perfect. So much the saddened martyr. That is the way they saw Him. The righteous. Those that were the defenders of the faith. I remembered the picture of Jesus that I had seen during the late sixties that portrayed Him as a soul who enjoyed life. Jesus' was image was in black and white with His hand on His chest, and in full guffaw. The picture seemed so full of life and showed a glimpse of the man, not the Son of God. I could relate to that image. It began ever so subtly. It was as if it were a whisper upon my soul. It was as if God was saying you have been talking with me for so long now, come meet the rest of the family. I started to study all of the world's major religions seeing that all had some truth to them, but I hadn't looked at Christ yet. My studies were as if I was in a giant hamster wheel looking for the Holy Grail. The more I looked, the more obsessed I became. I had to find the answers I sought. It is written that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And appear they did. I was prepared for the litany of "thou shalt nots" but I got thrown a curveball as I expected the high and fast heater. What I got was all the ways that Jesus taught his followers out of love and compassion. Nowhere was even the hint of scripture. Instead, I was inspired by the example set as these people lived their lives in faith and only when I asked for a clarification did they even attempt to mention the Bible. "Oh, it was just something I read in the Bible." And then they turned and walked away. That drove me nuts. Finally I cornered one of my mentors and begged him to tell me what he had learned. He tossed his worn Bible at me and said one word. "Read!" I have spent the better part of the last twenty years doing so. I learned that Christ doesn't go get you. You have to go to Him. There are no holds, no confinements. You can come and go as you please. But as in everything else, that is a choice too. No one may make it for us. There are consequences though. Read on... |
| All of my young life I had been told about Jesus but never given the chance to discover Him for myself. It was always "You better believe or you are going to Hell, boy!" or "Jesus is coming back and He's gonna judge you. You're gonna burn in Hell!" when I asked questions of people that probed the basis of all of this talk about Jesus |
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