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| Well it's been 10 months since I came off the anti-anxiety/antidepressant medication and I thought I would write and tell you how I'm doing. :-) I'm VERY happy to say that I've finally worked off ALL the weight that I gained on Paxil! I've lost 30 lbs in the past 6 months! (Now I'm trying to work off all I gained having babies... hehe) I'm also very happy to tell you that I'm FREE from depression. I am delivered and I thank God for it. Now I want you to know that doesn't mean I've never had a down time, nor felt anxiety tighten it's fingers around my chest, but I have learned how to deal with it. When I feel anxiety threatening me, I go to God and cry it all out to Him. I read and claim His Word and I beging to praise, praise, praise..... God has brought me a mighty long way.... It amazes me how much he must care for me and my feelings and what I go through. Everytime I began to doubt, someone would share a testimony of God helping them, or He would show me in His own way how much He was concerned about me.... and that just chased my doubts away. I cherish those little lessons that I feel God ordained just for me. :-) I still have a difficult time dealing with stress. I will still once in awhile get a little dizzy if I'm fatigued and overwhelmed by something whether it be grocery shopping with three children... (aaaawgh!!) or a very stressful day in the Portrait Studio at work.... but it doesn't frighten me anymore. And I'll sometimes get days where I feel like I have no energy and Depression will try to grab me, but I've learned ways to deal with that. Depending on the weather... I will grab all the kids and we'll go for a long bike ride, walk to the park, or we'll turn on some bouncy jammin music and we'll all dance in the living room... The kids love it and it always puts me in a better mood. I've started a regular exercise routine and it helps a LOT with combating muscle tension, stress and depression....as well as I take vitamins, some herbals, drink lots of water and eat healthy..... (cutting out chocolate has helped me shed those pounds too!) Oh, and I also have learned my limits and I will say "No" if I need to.... I try to get enough sleep, though that can be difficult. I have periods where I'll suffer several nights of insomnia, which can throw me off a bit. One of the most liberating lessons that I have learned just recently is this and it's so simple..... How I feel does not have to dictate what I do. I used to be so bound by how I felt. I would do the absolute minimum to get by when I was so ill.... I would take care of my children's basic needs and lay on the couch, so depressed, and anxious, wallowing in self pity and fear. I was paralyzed by my emotions. But I've learned that I can still wash the dishes even though I don't feel like it. I can still clean my house, rake my yard, take my kids for a walk, even though I am not in the mood! I can still do it. Even though sometimes I dont' feel like playing with my kids I CAN STILL do it... and more often than not, the feeling will follow. (Well I never "feel" like doing dishes....lol....) And even though I don't feel like praying....... I CAN STILL DO IT!!! I am free, not bound by depression or anxiety or stress..... My family and friends all tell me that I am not the same person that I was.... they can see that I am happier, yet not emotionally numb as I was on Paxil..... God is so good to me... And I believe that He's allowed me to go through these things for a reason. I still don't know why specifically, but I do know that these experiences are shaping me for a certain ministry and though I dont' know what it is yet, I hope that someday He'll be able to use me for His Glory.... Well I've really rambled here.... I don't know if this makes much sense.. hehehe.... But what I'm trying to say is that I'm still doing fine off the medication. I've learned a lot of lessons and if you are facing some of these things and would like me to share with you some of the things that I've learned and that God has taught me through my experiences please write to me. I would love to help you and to pray for you..... Like a good friend always tells me, in a play on my name, Wiebe..... Weebles wobble, but they dont' fall down!!! lol.... |
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