| Cheap Shots... |
| The rundown of the situation(s) with the various "gentlemen" in my life..... |
| The Player In a nutshell, this guy's a jock. A typical rugby player-wrestler-dude; but the first guy that has ever made my race fast...in a completely superficial way, of course. :) There isn't much to explain, since the whole thing began and ended quite quickly. It all started at the beginning of the term, when we met at a residence meeting. I didn't take any notice, since he was hanging out with Hotstuff...the main attraction, as far as i was concerned. I was trying to get some people together to go to a rave, and he seemed eager to attend one... so he gave me his number, and asked me to call him with details. We ended up talking for a really long time when i did call him, and he invited me to come have dinner with him. So i did. BTW, at this point, Hotstuff and i weren't friends - he was just this guy that i used to try and annoy. I wasn't particularly fond of him; i only put up with him because of a mutual friend. At this time, he was not doing particularly well in any of his classes, and this troubled me. Being in engineering, everything ultimately comes down to calculus - a subject he'd never taken before. He was floundering, so i told him i could help him out if he wanted. The night of his home-cooked dinner, we went to the library with Hotstuff (who conveniently happened to show up with my friend,at his place when i was there). That night, we stayed up late crunching out the basics of calculus; but it eventually turned into a chat-fest about our summer's ...and his (many) trips to Germany. We had a lot of fun, and i had his complete attention as i acted foolish, and blabbled. The next morning, i woke up with a cold... and when we saw eachother at school, it turned out he woke up the same way. The rave was coming up at the end of that week, and we both felt like hell. We spent a lot of time on the phone; he was checking up on me, and i was all smiles. We decided not to go to the rave, and he suggested that we just rent a movie - since we couldn't make eachother any more sick than we already were. I tried not to act too excited. But it was very exciting! hehe. We went to Swiss Chalet, and had some food, before heading over to the video place. At this point, i was still unsure as to what his intentions were - he was very gentleman-like, and it was very platonic. Until of course we were in the store looking at the shelves, just joking around - he came up behind me when i wasn't paying attention,and just rested his chin on my head... i dunno, it was something :) Anyway! I'm not going to go on and on, describing every detail of that night...but we ended up back at my place (since i have the tv!), and we lay on my bed to watch it. About halfway through, he sorta brushed his hand against my arm - i thought nothing of it- until he did it again. We held hands during the rest of the movie; and eventually cuddled. He wasn't a savage. baha. how naive am I?. It took him ages, but he finally kissed me. And when he did, i thought i was going to melt. Anyway, so the night went on, and it was nice (nothing else happened). He had a rugby game early the next morning, so we went to the elevator and he went up to his room - and I to mine. We talked frequently on the phone -nearly every night. I was quite content, and i couldn't wait to see him again, because i thought things would get better. (is this foreshadowing?) One night came, where he just announced that he was coming down to my room, because he needed help with calculus. Fair enough, that's what i was working on! Although, i was pretty sure we wouldn't be doing much work. Sue me! We worked for awhile..then he asked me how to do a couple of questions, and as we were going through them, he was playing with my hair... He wanted to watch tv for awhile...so we quit calculus. One thing led to another... you know the rest. This kind of bothered me - i asked him what was going on- he didn't have an answer for me. It didnt REALLY bother me...after all, i've never been kissed like that by anyone...sadly enough, not even Outback Jack! All i can say is : "Wow". It had gotten to a point where i didnt know where i stood. Typical girl eh? : ) I guess i just wanted to know that he wasn't doing this with every girl he knew... or something. Just some reassurance. When he left, he kissed my forehead, hugged me and said good night. My birthday came around, and we had a big dinner thing; a few of us went out to a club -he was a bit subdued, but still quite affectionate. As we were walking, he picked a flower, and handed it to me... awww. But then towards the end of the night, he seemed hostile. More confusion. That evening, he hugged me goodnight... I was really confused. I didnt know what to think. Meanwhile, Hotstuff, being the ass that he was at the time; somehow managed to mention something about him having a girlfriend (back home). This pissed me off, to no end. My friends urged me to confront him, or at least find out the truth. He came around to my place with some treats for my birthday. Things were all well and good, and he was just turning to leave -when i decided it was time to ask. I asked him if it was true. He turned red. Great. I felt like such an ass. He babbled something about how they broke up before he came here, and that they were still friends, and "seeing other people". I felt like crying. I dont know who was more of an idiot, him or me! Later that night, i realised that my questions weren't fully answered. I ended up going to his place for more of an explanation. He seemed surprised- but unwilling to give me any feedback; worried about saying too much. In summary, we ended up agreeing that we didn't think we had enough time to have a "relationship", so we would be friends. It was probably more his decision than mine - foolish girl that i am, i probably expected more. Blah. After that, he distanced himself, and i found myself spending more time with Hotstuff. He got to hear all about my worries, concerns, and fits of anger. He even had the privelege seeing me cry once. I was really only spending so much time there, in the hope that i'd run into HIM. And i did. He was very nice, but I was furious. I didn't let it show, of course. Anyway, i eventually got over it... and i stopped thinking about him. It helped that i didnt really see him that much anymore, and we didn't talk. Hotstuff and i went out more, and we related to one another. He made me realise that The Cute American was a waste of time, and i could do much better. I soon believed it myself, and i was soon free! The last effort on my part, was a Christmas card i left at his door, with a note inside asking to be friends -forgetting about the past, and just being happy... must have worked : ) It has since been a few years, and the Cute American and I have kept in contact... all very casually. He's still a charmer, and always says the right things.. I have no regrets; I just chalk it all up to some life lessons which could have turned out much wrose than they did. No worries :) |
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| "The Cute American" |
| If you don't hate reading this painful drivel, continue with... |
| "Mr. Fix-It" |