The love-hate relationship
It's not so much of a problem, but it HAS created some "angst" : )
My friendship with ...lets call him hotstuff, is only about 8 months old. I met him at my lame residence, and he is also in engineering (chemical) ... The fact that i have become semi-attracted to him, has posed a problem. Therefore, i have created some distance between us....
When i first met him through a friend, i thought he was a strange, compulsive fellow! After some time, i grew to like him, and understand him ...i'm sure he felt the same (He thought I was nothing less than a mega-bitch...as i've come to know now, hehe). I saw the way people were treated him, and i didn't want him to think that i was like them. This is when i started making a conscious effort to be nicer. We started watching tv and movies together...going out for dinner.. and he even cooked for me and some other friends a few times. But then i started to realise that although it was nice to spend time with eachother, I was losing touch with most of my girlfriends (long story...in a nutshell...hotstuff + my friends = badness). It got to a point where my nights consisted of watching Survivor with 6-8 other guys in a tiny room. The time that we did spend together, was always when it suited him, mind you; and I got a little tired of being his backup plan...the last resort... ...playing second banana : P (you get the idea!).
I'm also starting to see a slight blur between the line separating drunkass-hotstuff, from just plain asslike-hotstuff. Another factor however, is the fact that he is very focused on school, which is completely understandable. I *should* be too! I think that i sometimes take offense to his shortness with me, when he's all set to start his work every night... HOWEVER i think i have good reason to expect more from a friend than a couple of icq messages and two hours of conversation-less television/movie hours once or twice a week. I'm right, aren't i?
Maybe he's just treating me like he would any other friend. I just feel like I'm being taken for granted. UGH! I'm pathetic.... As you will continue to observe if you keep reading about me : 0
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