I am sharing this poetry in hopes that you may find in it,
familiarity and a sense of healing. You are not alone. I care Note:Some Poetry May be Triggering!
Frenzy
Please don't say
you understand
if you’ve never been
to the brink of insanity.
Don’t tell me
you know what it’s like
to feel turmoil
day in and day out.
In your mind
black is black,
white is white
and colors enhance
everything in between.
In mine,
there is no distinction,
nothing but rainbows
in disarray…
Out of Reach
I wish I could remember
soft, gentle touches
by loving hands,
affectionate words
spoken without enuendo.
I wish I could recall
a time when innocence
was unbroken
and little hearts
still trusted
beyond a shadow of a doubt…
Incest
He waits
until darkness
to distribute his love
in obnoxious lethal doses
of sin…
Death of Innocence
I remember, I remember
the fury inside,
the shame that I suffered
when my pain was denied.
I felt like the corpse
of an innocent child.
The instant he touched me
my spirit was defiled.
I remember, I remember,
my cries went unheard
and I will never forget
when the killing occurred…
Call To God
How can you justify the misery
Of little ones so innocent and pure?
What logic is behind iniquity?
Is evil something we must all endure?
If there’s a better place beyond this earth
where misery and suffering disappears,
why must we bear this pain from time of birth
until the ocean fills up with our tears?
Lord, I ask for kindness with these prayers,
from children who call out to you at night.
Dear God, they need to know that someone cares,
these angels who are precious in your sight.
Deliver us from evil, I implore
Oh God in heaven, we can’t take much more…
Things Not Dared
I never
danced a ballet
like other little girls did.
I was too busy
running away.
I never
had the nerve
to perform in the school play
or tell anyone
why I wouldn’t.
I did finally
enter the talent show
and sang my heart out,
but Billy Thomas
must have been better
or was it simply
that grownups
have a soft spot
for little boys
playing Romeo?
Things Unfinished
Once
when I knew the answer
to Mr. McHenry’s question,
I couldn’t make myself
raise my hand
because the memory
of your face
reminded me
that I could never trust
anyone…
I Never Knew
I never knew
that other little girls
didn’t play
the same games
that you and I played Daddy.
I never knew
that hugs and kisses
could be good things
and that there was
any such thing
as “bad” touches.
I never knew
how much I hated you
until Haleigh
smiled at me
and said,
“I love you Grandma.”
Act One
This lifetime
is simply a rehearsal.
In my next gig
I will sing opera
and dance seductively
with a handsome stranger.
In my next life
I will sip margaritas
on a deserted island
and never feel alone.
I will never know
the feeling of being betrayed.
I will not have to imagine
a world without child abuse
for in my next gig
the world will be a perfect place
where suffering and hate
aren’t even in the dictionary…
Transformation
From daughter of darkness
to woman of light,
I searched for my soul
to make everything right.
I suffered in silence,
too long I was still
now I shout out the truth
and it helps me to heal.
My secrets no longer
have any control.
Now I am the master
of my own soul
and finally, finally
this woman is whole.