Horoscope
horoscope
madam lisa

It gives a whole new meaning to star gazing...
Madam Lisa knows your future.

Aries

March 21 - April 19

Aires
You will die and no one will go to your funeral...Peter wrote this.
Taurus

April 20 - May 20

Taurus
The jelly in my pants is turning me into a robot.
Gemini

May 21 - June 21

Gemini
If I had a dollar for everytime I was called Mickey Mouse with a hangover...I would be pretty damn poor
Cancer

June 22 - July 22

Cancer
There's cancer on my face....and a kitty. Kitties and cancer make me a better dancer.
Leo

July 23 - August 22

Leo
You're a lion who plays drums and your also a dick. You make fun of kids half your age and you hold 3 month old $10 grudges with someone in Missoula,MT when you live in Seattle
Virgo

August 23 - September 22

Virgo
If my house was made of candy canes...I'd have a sticky house with pepermint breath.
libra

September 23 - October 22

Libra
i'm a vampire of death...arggh...roar...
Scorpio

October 23 - November 21

Scorpio
I blame Barzon...bouncing on a trampoline with his snowboard...shucks.
Sagittarius

November 22 - December 21

Sagittarius
If I didn't know better, I'd say that you use a chees grater for a pillow.
Capricorn

December 22 - January 19

Capricorn
Chocolate will never replace the love that is shared between a person and their lucky charms.
Aquarius

January 20 -
February 18

Aquarius
Blop.
Pisces

February 19 -
March 20

Pisces
Rainbows are going to destroy the universe someday.

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