1/18/03: Start jobbing, pal!
Hello people,

Finally I made myself a nice lil' column. The reason for this? Well, Tom "Z-MAN" Zenk, the Honky Tonk Man and the Ultimate Warrior (yes, the Warrior) have inspired me to do this. Althought the Warrior has his part in inspiring me, my columns will lean a lot more towards wrestling rather then "Finding your inner Warrior and releasing him out into the world". I'd also like to state that although I am not a former wrestler (they usually do columns like this) I have been a fan of wrestling (mostly WWE) since I was 5. Now with this small little introduction said, I will begin my rants.......

Now for the people who know me, you obviously know I cannot stand, Triple H nor the Undertaker. Also, if some of you already read "Words of a Politician" you would know that as well. I'm going to first rip on Jean-Paul and then move on over to Mean Mark (in a few days).

Triple H is a man who really believes he deserves to be the top dog in the WWE. It's sad really. This guy hasn't put on a good match in a long time and he can't draw for shit. Sure, his match with Shawn Michaels at SummerSlam '02 was pretty amazing, but WHO carried that match? Our favorite politician, Triple H? No! The Bible fed, "I love Jesus" boy, Michael Hickenbottom (for those of you who don't know, that's Shawn Michaels) made that match memorable. Now yes, Triple H allowed Shawn to win, he jobbed to him (let Michaels win), but who walked away the true victor? Triple H. Now, Triple H may have lost the match, but he got the last laugh in at the end, like he usually does. He took a fake sledgehammer to Shawn's back and "Destroyed" him. Let's not forget the fact that the only reason Triple H really jobbed to Shawn is because they're friends. He would have never allowed Jericho, Kane or RVD defeat him, unless those boys got help from...... Shawn Michaels.

Now I'd get into the whole necro angle, but, that was not Triple H's idea. He did not come up with that piece of garbage, surprisingly. He did however, bury Kane (Trip's idea) like he has everyone else who poses a threat to his spotlight. The only time Triple H jobbed cleanly to anyone was when he wasn't dating, Stephanie McMahon and no Triple H marks, Triple H was not "championship material" long before he dated Steph. He didn't become a "deserving" competitor 'til after. You know it's true.

How many times is, Triple H going to ruin a push? I'm so sick of seeing RVD get so far only to smash into a wall with the letters "H", "H", "H" spraypainted on it. The WWE always teases us with this shit. "Wow it looks like, RVD is finally going to win the title...... oh wait, no...... Triple H won again". Give RVD the fuckin' title, dammit! Triple H does NOT deserve it, the selfish prick.

Remember Survivor Series '02? Triple H got beaten up, because he was a "marked man", you know, being the champ and all, and Shawn Michaels finally comes in, wins and becomes the new World Champion. A bible fed gets to carry around the old WCW title for about a month because Triple H was going to win it back, OOOOHH YEEESSSS. Triple H dropping the title to his pal doesn't mean it's a clean job. You see, Triple H was getting beaten up by a bunch of other guys, which basically means "Shawn, you couldn't beat me fair and square. If those guys weren't all over me, I would have whooped your ass because I am the Game and blah blah blah suck my ass blah blah". So Triple H and Shawn Michaels square off yet again, the match that finally settled the score, so to speak, but who wins without any help? Triple H. So once again Jean-Paul carries that 15 pound, old WCW title over his shoulder. Man, I really didn't see that coming, ppfftt.

Speaking of the old WCW title, why did it even come back? Simple, Triple H couldn't stand the fact that he wasn't the champion. He couldn't stand the fact that, Brock Lesnar, a guy who could out wrestle him anytime, anywhere, was the WWE undisputed champion. Triple H has the WCW title HANDED to him by Eric Bischoff on RAW. That same night, the second that belt was GIVEN to him, Brock's title went down in value. Brock went from the WWE undisputed champion, to -- WWE champion. Now let's not forget that a week before, Brock went to Smackdown! exclusively. Why? Triple H didn't want him on RAW because he was afraid Brock would be in HIS limelight. So Brock goes to Smackdown!, and Triple H is given a belt the next week. He held Brock down without actually beating him. He also took shots at Brock the same night the title was given to him. Why didn't Brock say anything on Smackdown!? Why didn't he have a rebuddle? I wouldn't be surprised if Stephanie told him to keep his mouth shut. I could see her doing something like that, since she is sucking Jean's teeny weenie.

Now I'm going to skip ahead here to the present day WWE and the present day feud. "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner against Triple H. A feud that involves Triple H that I'm actually interested in, how odd (I guess it's because I'm a Scott Steiner fan, heh. I'm being honest). The only problem with this feud is how I believe it's going to end. Scott's been getting the upperhand since the feud started but I'm afraid Triple H will get the last laugh in the end. I fear Triple H will leave the Royal Rumble this sunday with the belt still in his hands and Scott buried 6 feet below. I hope I'm wrong. I don't care if people feel the Steiner shouldn't win the title because he just returned to wrestling at the Survivor Series. I just want that belt away from Triple H. I honestly want that belt gone. I'm not the only one who shares this opinion either. There are countless others, I dare you HHH marks to test me on that.

So let's see what happens to, Steiner this sunday. If Triple H is set to win, I hope Scott beats the shit out of him for using backstage politics. And when I say I hope he beats his ass, I'm not talking about storyline, fake beatings, I'm talking about throwing his ass around, fighting stiff and actually punching the bitch in the face.

Triple H, you need to get your head out of your ass and put over guys who are 10x better then you, and that means you need to put over everyone. You are worthless. You are what, Tom Zenk says you are, THE LAME.



Coming soon -- My rant on the Undertaker
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