You Bring Me Joy
(Like a Best Friend Should)
by Zaen
18. Chatting online
WiteChoklat: Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll work at Zeeks
Tech the rest of my life.
Bluenote26:
Me, too.
WiteChoklat: No way, man. You’ll be a
musician one day, I know it, Josh. Just
don’t forget us little people when you’re rich and famous.
Bluenote26:
The guesthouse is all yours, my friend.
*****
Bluenote26:
I did shrooms once.
Horrible trip.
I got so sick. I was really
scared.
WiteChoklat: Damn, C.
Bluenote26:
C?
WiteChoklat: Well. I can’t call you J. And, er, that’s
kinda what me, Lance, and Chris were calling you during your first couple of
days—when we weren’t sure how to pronounce or spell your last name.
Bluenote26:
Ok, A, it’s not hard to pronounce! And
B—I don’t mind. I could use a new
nickname.
WiteChoklat: What was your old one?
Bluenote26:
Bluenote26:
WiteChoklat: Josh? Still
there?
Bluenote26:
Spazz.
Bluenote26:
From my ex.
WiteChoklat: I won’t call you that, ok, C?
Bluenote26:
Thanks, J.
*****
WiteChoklat: So, what did you think of us at first?
Bluenote26:
Truthfully, I was worried you’d resent me.
Chris and Lance were fine, but you were kinda cold at first.
WiteChoklat: I was not!
Bluenote26:
No, you weren’t horrible to me or anything, just a little, I don’t know. Distant. And I totally understand that. I was the new kid and I already knew your
good friend Joey. I didn’t want to horn
in.
WiteChoklat: I didn’t mean to be antisocial
or whatever.
Bluenote26:
No, it’s ok, really. It’s always weird
when someone new comes along. I was just
glad that I already knew Joey.
WiteChoklat: Yeah, well. Yeah. That was fortunate.
Bluenote26:
And I’m glad that I made new friends. One really good friend in particular.
WiteChoklat: Who? Lance?
Bluenote26:
Asshole!
WiteChoklat: LOL
*****
WiteChoklat: I graduated at 21 because I skipped the fourth grade. I was supposed to be so smart, you know? By the time I got my degree I had a solid C+
average. How’s that for unused
potential?
Bluenote26: C’mon, J, you know you’re smart. You’re the best programmer at work. And you talked me through hooking up my DVD
player over the phone with no problem.
And you’ve got such a great mind for stuff. You’re well rounded.
WiteChoklat: But I can’t cook for shit!
Bluenote26:
I wouldn’t know.
WiteChoklat: I’ll have to burn dinner for you sometime.
Bluenote26:
I’d like that.
*****
WiteChoklat: I told you about my parents divorcing when I was little. I think maybe it fucked up my feelings about
love and marriage somehow.
Bluenote26:
I’m sorry to hear that. I think you’ll
make someone a great husband someday.
WiteChoklat: :-)
WiteChoklat: <blushing>
Bluenote26:
Just remember to invite me to the wedding!
WiteChoklat: I have a feeling you’ll
Bluenote26:
:-)
WiteChoklat: definitely be there.
Bluenote26:
Better be.
*****
WiteChoklat: So, how long have you been wearing that Leo thing around your neck?
Bluenote26:
Um. I dunno. 11 or 12 years.
WiteChoklat: And you never take it off?
Bluenote26:
Nope.
WiteChoklat: Doesn’t it smell?
Bluenote26:
Hey, man, I do wash, you know!
WiteChoklat: I know, C.
But why so long?
Bluenote26:
Um, it’s just special to me.
Someone…special gave it to me.
WiteChoklat: Oh.
Bluenote26:
Yeah.
WiteChoklat: You want to tell me who? Unless it’s private, of course.
Bluenote26:
It is.
WiteChoklat: Ok.
Bluenote26:
I’ll tell you. Soon.
WiteChoklat: You can trust me, C.
Bluenote26:
I know I can.
*****
Bluenote26:
I think I’m getting the hang of this whole Internet chatting thing.
WiteChoklat: Yeah, man, you’ll be ready to hit the naughty chat rooms in no time.
Bluenote26:
Yeah, so, um…what are you wearing? :-)
WiteChoklat: Hey! How do you know I’m not
underage?
Bluenote26:
Better still!
WiteChoklat: Actually, I’m wearing your black silk Versace shirt.
WiteChoklat: :-)
WiteChoklat:
WiteChoklat: Hey, I’m kidding, dude!
Bluenote26:
You can, if you want. Borrow it,
man. I think it’d look good on you.
WiteChoklat: Really?
Bluenote26:
Yeah.
**********
19. Cybersex
at Josh’s house
The next night, when Justin goes to
feed the cat, he saunters into Josh’s bedroom.
He casually goes through the closet.
Interspersed with the familiar dress shirts and pants are a few casual,
bordering on flamboyant articles of clothing.
Justin pulls out a pair of jeans with Dead Sexy written on the ass. After laughing uncontrollably for a few minutes,
he puts the jeans back and thumbs through more shirts he’s rarely seen, each
finer than the next. He fondles a
luxurious sweater, traces patterns on a knitted pullover, checks
the labels on a few expensive looking jackets.
And right next to them, a faded brown and green checked vest that could
have only come from a thrift store.
Justin smiles at the eclecticism.
Only Josh would have clothes from Goodwill, Dolce & Gabbana, and Wal-Mart in the same closet, he thinks.
Finally Justin pulls out the soft
black Versace shirt that Josh said he could borrow. He runs his hands over it as he walks over to
Josh’s bed. It has a subtle texture,
naked to the eye, but it tickles his fingertips. He starts to remove his shirt, and then has
to stop to let himself feel like a silly girl.
The mood passes, and soon he’s slipping Josh’s shirt onto his body. He sits on the bed as he buttons it up. It’s tight on him, as he’d expected, but it
feels wonderful. He runs his hands over
the arms as he breathes deep. The room
smells like Josh. Justin breathes
deeper. He stands and looks at himself
in a mirror. The shirt hugs his chest
perfectly, accentuating his muscles without looking tacky. Justin smoothes it along his torso, imagining
Josh in this shirt, wondering how in the hell a shirt can make him feel so
sexy. Justin swallows as he watches his
nipples emerge through the soft dark fabric.
It takes a lot of effort, but Justin
does not go through Josh’s drawers.
He walks around the room and checks book titles, takes note of scents
and toiletries, wonders where Josh keeps his month-long stash of manpanties. Justin
sits back on the bed and smiles at the memory of Josh revealing his
“eccentricity” to him a few weeks ago.
He’d laughed when Josh told him that he tossed his underwear after one
use; now it just seems…not that strange. Justin sighs and
allows himself to lie back on Josh’s bed.
He kicks his shoes off and stretches out, then lets out a happy
yawn. He feels comfortable enough to do
this because he knows Josh wouldn’t mind.
He knows Josh. Eyes closing,
Justin unbuttons Josh’s shirt until his bare chest is exposed. He lies there for several minutes, petting
his naked chest, nuzzling his face in Josh’s pillows. It feels so good, and for a second Justin
considers sleeping here tonight. His
eyes fly open; it’s too much, the shirt, the bed, Josh’s smell on him…Justin
looks down at lap. He rolls his eyes at
his cock flinching in his pants.
“Forget it, Justin!” he laughs out
loud, but the thought won’t leave his mind.
“You will not defile Josh’s bed.”
He giggles, then sighs and brushes his hand against his crotch. He feels 14 again, when he
could walk around half hard all day if the wind blew the right way. He’s been feeling 14 again for months now. For a second Justin wonders if Josh would
notice if his sheets were washed while he was gone. Then the phone rings.
Justin is surprised to hear Josh’s
voice coming through the answering machine.
“Justin? Hey, it’s me.
If you’re at my house, pick up!”
“Hey, man,” Justin chirps when he
answers Josh’s phone. “How did you know
I was here?”
“I called your place, and you
weren’t home, so I thought I’d try my luck,” Josh responds happily.
“I know, I have no social life,”
Justin grunts. “Rub it in, why don’t
you.”
“Justin, please,” Josh laughs. “I’m calling my own phone on a Friday
night. If anyone here needs a social
life, it’s me!”
“Why aren’t you out with Joey?”
“I think he got tired of me. No, he went out with some guys from the
office tonight.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“No, it’s ok. I think they just went to a strip club, so
I’m not missing anything, um, important.”
They both chuckle at that, though Justin isn’t sure what that means. “Actually, I’m glad to have a night to
myself. I love Joey and hanging with
him, but I just wanted to chill tonight.”
“Yeah, I get you.”
“Besides, I get to talk to you,
so…so…you know. Just
as well.”
“Right,” Justin says as he sits down
on Josh’s couch. They don’t say anything
for a minute, but Justin is content just to listen to Josh breathing. He notices the TV remote control. “Hey, you think there’s any good soft porn on
now?”
“Good question.” Josh doesn’t miss a beat. Justin hears the TV come on over the
telephone. “Horny teenage girls like us
need to see images of simulated graphic sexuality on television, so we know
what’s expected of us when we grow up!”
“Oh, totally!”
Justin says nonchalantly. “How else are
we supposed to know how to please our mens, if we
don’t see people doin’ it on pay cable? For reals?”
“Are ya feelin’ me, Justine?” Josh laughs.
“I’m sooo feelin’ ya, Josh—no! Wait! How about…Alexis?”
“Fer sure!” Josh laughs. “But if I’m Alexis, then you have to
be…Courtney!”
“That’s crunk!” Both men giggle falsetto as they flip
channels. “Hey, Alexis, turn to Cinemax! I see naked
chicks!” Before long a very silly
role-play/movie critique ensues.
“Alexis” and “Courtney” make fun of the bad acting and equally bad
dialogue. When a sex scene comes along,
they can’t contain the laughter.
“Like, omigod,
Court! That guy is soooo
not even cute!”
“I know! And he’s got a saggy ass! Ewwww! I would never do him!” Justin squeals.
“Me either. I might do her, though!” Josh
giggles. Justin gasps.
“Alexis! You mean…are you saying…you’d do a…a girl?”
Justin asks, shocked.
“Oh, yeah. I’m like totally gonna be a lipstick lesbian
when I grow up,” Josh announces. “It’s,
like, the way to go. All the really hot
strippers and porn stars are into girls, Courtney.”
“I knew that!” Justin snaps. “I have HBO.
I know what goes on.”
“Yah, so, you know. I think that girl is hot. I like her ass, but her boobs are fake. I think I’ll
like real boobs.”
“My boobs are real!” Justin says
quickly. He can hear Josh giggle in his
own voice, then the falsetto returns.
“I know, Court.”
“Well, then if you’re gonna be a
lipstick lesbian, then I am too!” Justin declares.
“Cool!”
“And…and…I’m gonna do
everything. I’m gonna use toys, and
harnesses and shit, and I’m gonna spoon, and I’m gonna cliff dive and
everything!” Justin asserts enthusiastically.
“I don’t think it’s called ‘cliff’
diving, girlfriend!” Josh laughs.
“You know what I mean,” Justin says
as he stretches and gets more comfortable on Josh’s couch. “I’m gonna embrace my sexuality, and be open
to any and all forms of stimulation. As long as I don’t have to pay for it!”
“You go, girl!” As they laugh, another much better looking
man comes on the screen. Soon the
soft-porn actress is sandwiched between two men, and
seemingly enjoying herself. Justin
watches intently.
“You know, Alexis? Maybe I’ll just be bi. I can’t limit myself to just women!”
“I was just thinking the same thing,
Court!”
“Sometimes a girl just needs some
serious deep dickin’!” Justin states, and that sends
Josh off into hysterics for several moments.
“Besides, I’ve had a crush on Keanu Reeves since, like, forever!”
“Oh, me, too! I want to have that man’s babies!” Josh
squeals.
“Ok, top 5 guys you want to do,
Alexis.”
“Um. Mr. Reeves.
Brad Pitt. Tyson Beckford. Sting.
And…um…oh! I know! Ryan Phillippe!” Justin covers the phone and giggles himself
silly before putting the receiver back to his ear.
“Really? Ryan Phillippe,
huh, Alexis?”
“Oh, yeah!”
Josh groans, sounding every bit the teenybopper. “Love that curly blonde hair!”
“Interesting,” Justin mutters. He can hear Josh trying to stifle a
laugh. He doesn’t care if Josh is joking
or not. Just the idea makes him swoon.
“Your turn,
Courtney!”
“Hmmm. Ok, my future husband Keanu. Colin Farrell.”
“Ohhhh,
yeah, he’s hot! And
such a badass!”
“You know it, girlfriend. Ok, um…David Beckham. Nelly—”
“Really?”
“Oh, girl, yes! I love tattoos and muscles, and he’s my faaaaavorite rapper!
I’m telling ya, I’d be a hoochie
mama in one of his videos any day!” Justin squeals.
“Riiight,”
Josh laughs. “One
more.”
“Orlando Bloom,
baby!”
“Oh, God, yes!”
“Oh, he’s so pretty! I can’t wait for the last Lord of the
Rings!”
“Me either! Let’s go see it when it comes out in
December!”
“You’re on, Josh—I mean, Alexis!”
Justin laughs. “Oh, that boy is so cute,
with those pretty eyes, and all those curls.
I just want to run my fingers through all that soft brown hair.” Justin gulps and bites his bottom lip.
“I like his hair, too, Courtney,”
Josh says softly, and in his own voice.
“Yeah,” Justin replies in his normal
voice. The movie credits roll, so Justin
silently channel surfs some more. “You
got any other good pay channels, Lexis?”
“Check out Showtime, channel 64,” Josh says. When Justin arrives there he sees two men
kissing. “Anything
good on?”
“Look for yourself.”
“Ok, I think they have Showtime on
this—oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” Justin stares at the screen, his mouth
agape. “Is, uh, is this Queer as Folk?”
“Yeah,” replies Josh.
“So,” Justin
whispers, not sure to speak as himself or as Courtney. “Who is, uh, that guy?”
“The one…on top?”
Josh asks bashfully.
“Yeah.”
“That’s Brian.”
“Mmm.” Justin
watches Brian doing his thing, and doing it very well. “He’s kinda hot—huh, Alexis?”
“Absolutely,
Courtney.”
“And, wow, naked guys on TV.”
“Yep.”
“Yep,” Justin squeaks, and then the
talking stops as they watch the show.
Between the conversation, the black silk, and watching QaF, it’s no
wonder Justin is getting hard.
“That was, uh, explicit,” Justin
says when the scene changes. Josh
mumbles something, and then clears his throat.
“Ok, that’s Brian. So the guy
he’s kissing now is his boyfriend?”
“No,” Josh giggles, “that’s his best
friend, Michael.”
“Awfully friendly for a platonic
kiss, wouldn’t you say?” Justin asks with the tinge of a something in his
voice.
“You catch on quick, my
friend.” Justin sighs happily. “They’re very affectionate, and somehow they
end up making out a few times a season—or so I’ve heard!” Justin smiles at Josh’s attempt to hide his
knowledge of the show.
“Well,” Justin says softly, “I think
it’s good for friends to show a little affection every now and then.” When Josh doesn’t respond, Justin nervously
adds, “Don’t you?”
“Absolutely…friend.” Justin bites his bottom lip.
“Not that I’d go around shoving my
tongue down my friends’ throats or anything!”
“Oh, of course
not!” Josh giggles. “Brian
doesn’t do that to everyone. Just his best friend.”
“I see.” Justin nods like Josh can actually see him
doing it. He considers asking Josh if he
has a best friend, but then Brian starts making out with yet another guy on the
screen. “So, like, is that blonde guy
his boyfriend?”
“Well—do you really want to
know?” Josh asks shyly. Justin can
picture the crooked smile on Josh’s face.
“Mmm hmm.”
Justin slides to the floor and stretches his legs out, his back against
the bottom of the couch. He watches the
show and listens to Josh’s brief introduction to the characters and story
lines. Josh speaks whisper soft,
stopping here and there to watch, and to clear his throat. Justin puts the phone in the crook of his
neck and concentrates more on Josh than on the attractive men on the TV
screen. Justin licks his lips when the
screen fills with writhing, semi-nude men engaging in all sorts of homoerotic
activity. Justin’s not sure if it’s a
gay club or a bathhouse or someone’s basement.
All he knows is that Josh is breathing loudly in his ear, and that it’s
making him hard.
“Still there?”
Josh whispers. Justin grunts and nods,
knowing full well that Josh can understand him from 1200 miles away. “So, what do you think?”
“What do I think about what?” Justin
whispers as he deftly unbuttons Josh’s shirt all the way.
“This. The show.”
“It’s. Hm.” Justin’s fingers
slip inside the shirt and brush against an erect nipple. He swallows a moan and answers,
“It’s…pretty…interesting.”
“Yeah, it is.” Josh sighs again, and Justin echoes him as he
traces his other nipple.
“You think…uh…that…watching
something like this will…like…corrupt our impressionable young teenage girl
minds?” Justin asks as he rubs his stomach muscles.
“Hope so.” Josh chuckles and adds, “I could definitely
use some corrupting. How
about you?” Justin smiles at the
tease in Josh’s voice.
“I’m already corrupted, baby!”
Justin growls with his hand on his crotch.
“Oh, yeah?”
Josh whispers.
“Yeah.”
“Mmmm. Good to
know I’m not the only dirty-minded teenybopper around.”
“You don’t know the half of it,”
Justin teases as he tickles the bulge in his jeans.
“Enlighten me.” Josh exhales slowly, breathily, and Justin’s
fingers move of their own will to his zipper.
“I’m a naughty girl,” Justin
murmurs. He smiles when he hears Josh
inhale sharply. On the show the hot male
flesh is replaced by two women putting a baby to bed. “What’s this?
Mommies?
How are we supposed to get off on this?” Justin says, only half kidding.
“Just wait,” Josh whispers. Soon enough the women are tearing one
another’s clothes off and sliding naked onto their bed. Justin grunts a quiet “all right” as he
watches the women make love, and makes a mental note to order Showtime.
“Hot,” Justin mumbles into the
phone. He slips his hand under his
waistband, but stops short of his cock.
He waits, frozen, suddenly very aware of where he is,
what he’s about to do, and who’s listening.
“Josh, you there—”
“Shhhh.” When
Justin hears that, hears the quiet urgency and breathlessness in Josh’s voice,
he gives in. He only holds his cock at
first, just toying with the flesh as the TV scene changes yet again. Nonsexual stuff keeps happening, so Justin
mutes the TV, closes his eyes, and concentrates on Josh’s intermittent
sighs. He’s fairly certain Josh is doing
at least something akin to what he’s doing, but he doesn’t dare risk
ruining this by mentioning it. He’s just
happy to be here, happy that Josh would rather spend his Friday night on the
phone with him than out drinking and watching naked women. Happy that Josh is breathing
heavily into the phone.
“Mmm…Jo—I
mean, Lexis?”
“Court?”
“What cha doin’
over there in
“What cha doin’
back in
“Oh, I’m not doing anything
special,” Justin mutters.
“Me either.”
“Yeah? Just sitting in your room? All alone?”
“I’m not alone,” Josh whispers. “I’m with you.”
“Oh.” Justin struggles to hold back a whimper as he
strokes himself slow and steady. He watches
Brian and the blonde guy make out.
“What’s his name again?”
“Justin,” Josh mutters
anxiously.
“I’m listening.”
“No, I mean, his, um, he’s called
Justin,” Josh whispers. Justin nods and watches, eyes wide and fixed, as Brian proceeds to fuck his
young lover. It’s hotter than Justin can
stand, as is the heavy breathing in his ear.
“Josh?”
“Ugh.”
“You ok?”
“Just…um…oh.” Josh’s voice is muted, like he’s covering the
phone, but Justin can still hear him.
He’s sighing, and sucking breath in, and when his voice comes back clearly, Justin can hear him lick his
lips. “I’m…just fine, baby.” Justin gasps as his cock leaks all over his
fingers.
“Fuck.” Justin doesn’t care anymore if Josh
knows. He lifts his hips and fucks his
hand. He leans back and spreads his legs
wide, sliding his free hand down behind his balls. He hisses into the phone and silently begs
Josh to come with him. Then Josh groans.
“I, um…Justin…I gotta go now.”
The disappointment is evident in Justin’s
voice. “Are you sure?” He’s so close, and he’s almost certain that
Josh is, too.
“Yeah…um…I…ugh…mmm…I
gotta…oh,” Josh sighs, his voice urgent, sultry. Justin strokes himself faster as he leans
into the phone.
“Josh, don’t go yet. Talk to me. I’m not ready to hang up yet,” he teases,
though he’s losing control.
“I really…oh…have to go, J.” Josh’s breathing is heavy, so damn sexy
Justin wants to scream. “I
can’t…please.”
“C’mon, C,” Justin
whispers. “I know you don’t want
to go yet. Stay with me.”
“Justin.”
“Aren’t we having fun?” Justin
whispers breathlessly. He looks down at
his leaking cock as he presses his fingers into his perineum. “Oh, God…uh…we’re just playing, right?”
“Playing?”
“Aren’t we?” Josh is silent, and Justin panics. “Josh?
Oh…don’t go, man.”
“I have to,” Josh whimpers. “I’m…it’s too…can’t play anymore, Justin.”
“But we’re…Josh…I’m…wait—”
“I’m…Justin…oh…fuck.”
“Josh,” Justin squeaks, right on the
edge.
“I’m sorry,” Josh whispers, and then
there’s a click.
“Josh!” Justin squeals, then drops the phone as he strokes himself to climax with
both hands. He catches his breath as he
rubs his semen into his stomach, careful not get any on Josh’s shirt. Josh’s shirt. He collapses against the couch and sulks as
he stares at the dark fabric, a marked contrast against his pale skin. He lets out a long breath as he watches the
credits.
“Damn it.” Justin shimmies out of the shirt and
helplessly watches it fall to the floor.
He pulls his legs up, wraps his arms around his knees and takes a few
deep breaths. “Damn it, Josh,” he
whispers. “What are you doing to me—hey!” Justin jumps a
little when he feels fur against his back.
He turns his head to see Shere Khan rubbing her tail along his exposed
back. “Um…hello,
kitty. Did you hear me talking to
your boyfriend?” The cat looks up at
Justin and meows roughly. “That’s right,
baby,” Justin mocks, “I think I just had phone sex with your man. Well, at least I had phone sex with him, I’m
not sure yet if he had it with me.”
The cat snarls again. “So, how
you like them apples?”
“Rrrarh!”
“Fuck!” Justin squeals after Shere Khan scratches him along the small of his
back. She leisurely meanders out of the
living room, but he doesn’t try to go after her. He just sits there for a little while longer,
staring at the shirt, wondering what the hell he’ll say when Josh comes home in
two days.
The next day, Justin goes to the
video store and rents the first few episodes of Queer as Folk season 1.
Later he goes online and orders both season 1 and 2 from
Amazon.com. And, for good measure, he
calls up his cable company.
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