You Bring Me Joy
(Like a Best Friend Should)
by Zaen
23. Key buddies and cat attack
“Dude, I was knocking for, like, two
whole minutes! Were you hanging your
pantyhose in the bathroom or something?” Justin jokes when Josh opens his door.
“I was on the phone, nosey.” Josh closes the door behind Justin, then motions for him to sit on the couch. There’s a glass of wine already waiting for him. It’s not quite red, kinda pinkish, but that’s
close enough for Justin to get all tingly.
“Besides, I figured you’d just use your key.”
“You don’t want me just barging into
your apartment—do you?”
“Well, I don’t exactly want you to
go Kramer on me, but, I don’t know. If I
know you’re coming over, then, sure, just come on in.”
“Wow, ok.” Justin sits back and takes a sip of
wine. “I guess you really trust me.”
“Of course I do,” Josh professes as
he sits down next to Justin with his own wineglass. “Do you trust me?”
“Sure.” A half smile/half smirk appears on Josh’s
face. “What?”
“So, um, did you ask Joey to be your
keymaster?”
“Dude, you are so mixing your
pop culture references. It’s keybuddy,” Justin
states confidently, then frowns in confusion.
“At least, I think it is!”
“Well, then…did you?” Josh’s smile
slips a little.
“No.”
“Oh.”
“Not yet, anyway.”
“Oh.”
“Why, Josh?” Justin asks
innocently. He pats Josh’s knee in a
conciliatory gesture. “Are you worried
that my spare set of keys won’t find a home, and be forced to live in spare-key
limbo for all eternity?”
“I don’t know why I bother,” Josh
laughs and moves to the other end of the couch.
Justin giggles and places his wineglass on a coaster.
“Aww, does
Josh want to be my keybuddy?” Justin teases as he
moves over to Josh and pokes a finger in his side.
“Don’t tickle me!” Josh yelps. Justin takes Josh’s wine glass, places it on
another coaster, and flicks a finger along Josh’s stomach.
“Stop!”
Josh laughs, holding his arms out to keep Justin away.
“Does Joshy
worry that I’ll lock myself out of my own apartment?”
“Hey, it could happen!” Josh slides down on his back, and Justin
crawls over him and attacks his armpits.
“Aagh, Justin, please!”
“Tell me you want to be my keybuddy, and I’ll stop!” Justin demands. He tickles Josh until he gets that high
pitched, girly squeal that he’s come to love.
“C’mon, say it!”
“Never!” Josh slips his hands from Justin’s chest and
tries to tickle his sides.
“Uh-uh, no way!” Justin grabs Josh’s hands and pushes them
above his head. Josh writhes about,
laughing and trying to catch his breath.
After a minute of watching Josh breathing hard underneath him, Justin
stops. Josh smiles at him sweetly. “Say it,” Justin whispers. When Josh shakes his head, Justin leans
closer. He licks his lips and says
firmly, “Say it.” Josh’s gaze moves from
Justin’s eyes down to his mouth and back again.
“Say what?”
“Say you want my keys,” Justin
orders. Josh’s eyes twinkle playfully.
“I want your…keys,
Justin.”
“Good,” whispers Justin. Their fingers curl together as they gaze at
each other. “Check my back pocket.” A sly grin spreads across Josh’s face as he
pulls his hand out of Justin’s grip and slides it down Justin’s back. He pats Justin’s right butt cheek, and Justin
giggles. “Left side.” Josh bites his bottom lip.
“Right.” Josh slides his other hand down Justin’s back
and into his back left pocket. When he
feels a set of keys his smile deepens so much that his eyes almost disappear. “I guess this means that you trust me?”
whispers Josh.
“I guess I do.” Justin holds his breath while Josh digs
around in his pocket to get a firm grip—on the keys or his ass, he isn’t
sure—and lets it out when Josh holds the keys up to inspect them. “Happy now?”
“Yes,” Josh whispers.
“Good.” Justin smiles down at Josh and suddenly
realizes that they’re almost nose-to-nose.
And that Josh’s other hand is still on his ass. Josh gazes up at him, his mouth just slightly
open, his breath shallow. On the count of 3, Justin promises
himself. At 2 he’s tilting his head, at
2 and a half Josh’s eyes start to close, and then—
“What the fuck?” Justin screeches,
falling off the couch after Shere Khan lands with a thud on his head. She leaps off him and onto the couch next to
Josh. Justin lies still on the floor,
not knowing what just happened.
“She, um…wow, she’s never done that
before,” Josh says as he scratches his head.
He looks as shocked as Justin, but perhaps a little amused, too. “I’m sorry, J.”
“Yeah.” He looks over at Josh, and they share a
regretful, confused glance. “Me, too.”
“Well, maybe this means that she
likes you now,” Josh chuckles as he pets the cat.
“You think so, huh?” Justin sits up and gently offers the top of
his hand for the cat to sniff. “Do you
like me now, Shere Khan the Tiger?” Justin doesn’t even flinch when the cat spits
and swipes her claw against Justin’s hand.
“Kitty! How dare you!” Josh yells at the leisurely
retreating cat. “No catnip for you for a
week!” She stretches out on the floor at
a safe distance and growls at them.
“Call me crazy, but I don’t think
she likes me, Joshua!”
“I’m sorry, man. Let me see that.” Josh takes Justin’s hand and traces the red
scratch. Then he notices another,
slightly older scratch on the inside of Justin’s wrist. And another on Justin’s
forearm. “She did this?” Justin starts to say something, but changes
his mind. Josh looks positively
humiliated. “I’m so sorry, J. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry, man.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Justin says,
shrugging. “They’ll heal.”
“There’s more?” Josh asks.
“A few.”
“C’mon.” Josh stands and takes Justin’s hand. He leads Justin back into his bedroom, and
when they pass the cat he shakes his head disappointedly at her.
24. Impromptu massage
Justin squirms on the bed as he
listens to Josh making noise in the bathroom.
As many times as he’s been in this room before, he feels nervous
now. When Josh comes in with half his
medicine cabinet, Justin starts to get up.
“You know, I’m fine—”
“Sit down, J.” Justin does as he’s told. Josh douses a cotton ball with alcohol and
takes Justin’s hand. “She’s never been
this bad before, and she’s always been bad,” Josh admits as he gently dabs the
cotton on the new scratch. Justin
hisses, even though it doesn’t hurt that badly.
“Sorry. Here.” Josh lifts Justin’s hand to his lips and
blows on the scratch.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Josh finishes with the cotton ball, then takes out a large neon bandage.
“Dude, aren’t those for little kids?”
Justin jokes.
“Aren’t we all kids at heart?”
“Oh, please.”
“Stop complaining, I’m trying to
take care of you here.” Josh smiles
brightly and places the pink bandage on Justin’s hand. “There.”
He smoothes it down gently, and Justin almost asks him to kiss it.
“Well, thanks,” Justin mumbles
nervously, pulling his hand away.
“What’s for dinner?”
“I’m not done yet.” Josh takes Justin’s hand and places it on his
own thigh. Justin doesn’t know whether
to giggle or moan. “This’ll help clear
the scratches up,” Josh says as he opens a small bottle. “It’s vitamin E oil. Put this on a few times a day.” Josh lets the thick liquid roll onto the tip
of this finger, then massages the oil into the scratch
on Justin’s wrist. Neither of them
speaks as Josh applies the oil to the other scratches on Justin’s arm.
“Thanks again,” Justin murmurs when
Josh releases his arm. “I feel much
better.”
“Did she get you anywhere else?”
Josh asks apologetically.
“Um, I think on my ankle.” Justin starts to lift his foot up, but Josh
stops him.
“I’ll do it.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” Josh says softly as he
kneels on the floor in front of Justin.
He takes off Justin’s sneaker and sock.
“Josh,” Justin squeaks, biting his
lip.
“It’s ok, man. It’s my fault, so I want to do it.” Josh smiles as he gently strokes Justin’s
foot. “Big feet ya got there.”
“Is that a compliment?” Justin
teases. Josh laughs as he rubs the oil
into a long scratch on the outside of Justin’s ankle.
“I think it is.” Josh keeps rubbing, and after a few seconds
Justin relaxes, stretching his arms behind him as he watches Josh give him an impromptu foot massage.
Josh hums under his breath as he works.
“What’re you humming?” Justin asks.
“Just something I’ve been working
on.” He points to Justin’s other foot,
and when Justin doesn’t say no, he removes the other shoe and sock.
“You…um…you’re…writing a song?”
Justin asks breathily, not quite believing that Josh is rubbing both his feet,
hoping to God they don’t stink.
“Trying. It’s hard without my piano.” Josh readjusts his legs to get more
comfortable on the floor.
“You don’t have to do this—”
“It’s ok,” Josh whispers.
“I don’t even think she scratched me
on that foot.”
“I don’t mind,” Josh giggles. He rubs Justin’s feet and smiles broadly when
Justin groans. “Good?”
“Excellent.”
“A friend of mine is a massage
therapist, so she taught me a few tricks,” Josh says as his hands work the
Achilles’ tendon.
“You don’t talk much about your
friends in
“Didn’t know you were interested,”
Josh replies. When Justin smirks at him,
Josh smiles and says, “She was a friend of me and my ex.”
“Was, uh, your ex a massage
therapist, too?” Justin asks carefully.
“No.” Josh slides his hands down Justin’s feet and
mutters, “A songwriter.”
“Wow.” Justin suddenly feels foolishly
inadequate. Josh sighs resignedly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked—”
“No, no, it’s
fine, J.” Josh smiles up at Justin and
idly rubs Justin’s calf. “Where else did
she get you?”
“Oh, um.” Justin thinks for a second, and realization
causes him to blush. “There’s, um, I
think there’s one on the small of my back.”
Josh smiles wickedly and stands up.
“Ok.
Lay down.” Josh gently pushes
Justin’s shoulder down until he’s lying on his stomach, his head propped up on
Josh’s pillows, his bare feet just barely dangling over the edge of the
bed. Justin buries his head in the
pillow so Josh won’t see how red his face is.
“Ok, um, just relax.” Josh sits
astride Justin on the bed and gently pushes Justin’s shirt up. “Where?” Josh
whispers.
“Here.” Justin slips his hand behind him and feels
around for the scarred skin.
“Damn.” Josh strokes Justin’s back, and Justin’s
retreating fingers in the process. “I
feel really bad about that.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Yeah, it is, but don’t worry. You put this Vitamin E on it a few times a
day, and the scratch will scab up and fall off, no scar, I promise,” Josh says
as he applies the thick oil to his fingertips.
“How do you know so much?” Justin
kids.
“I read men’s magazines!”
“Oh.
Like, say, Maxim?” Justin questions.
“More like Details,” Josh
says as he rubs the oil into Justin’s back.
Justin nods, though he feels like whatever he was just fishing for got away. Josh finishes applying oil to the scratch and
lays his palm flat against Justin’s back, just lightly tickling the skin. “Um, how did she get you here anyway?” Josh
asks amusedly.
“Oh.” Justin thinks fast. “Oh, yeah, I, um…I kinda…well, I sorta took a short nap on your bed.” Justin pulls his hand underneath him and
crosses his fingers. “Yeah, I was just
in here, you know, trying on that shirt you said I could borrow, and I was
tired, and um…yeah.”
“I see.” Justin can hear the smile in Josh’s voice,
even though he’s too embarrassed to look.
“It was just for a few minutes,
man.”
“Right.”
“And I guess Shere
Khan didn’t like me napping on your bed, so, you know, she jumped on me and,
um, yeah.” Justin hopes his little white
lie won’t bring him bad karma. “I’m
sorry, man.”
“It’s ok, J,” Josh laughs. “I don’t mind at all. But…all you did was sleep, right?”
“What?” Justin shrieks, then starts coughing to clear the huge lump choking his
throat.
“Oh my God!”
Josh giggles as he slaps Justin on the back.
“Justin, how could you! Please
tell me you changed the sheets when you were done!”
“I didn’t…what are you…but…but…ugh!”
Justin collapses and catches his breath while Josh has a good laugh at his
expense. Justin squints very hard, until
the memory of when and how he got that scratch leaves his head, and then he
opens his eyes. “Listen here, Mr. Shur-shay, I don’t know what you’re accusing
me of, but I don’t do such things in other people’s beds!”
“Oh no?”
Josh chuckles. “Not even when you’re invited to those beds?”
“No—shut up!” Justin laughs and
turns his head away from Josh. “I’m a
good boy.”
“Sure you are.” When Justin calms down he realizes that
Josh’s hand is still on his back, and now it’s slowly pushing the shirt further
up.
“Um, C—”
“Just checking to see what else she
did to you for violating my bed!”
“OK.” Justin takes a few deep breaths to calm
himself as Josh’s hands run all over his back.
“Are you sure you don’t mind that I was on your bed?”
“For anyone else, I’d mind. Not for you.”
“Thanks, man.” Justin relaxes into the bed and stretches his
arms out to the ends. “Your bed is
really comfy.”
“Yeah, it is.” It’s quiet as Josh gently rubs Justin’s
back. Justin tries to relax, but the
closeness is making him nervous. “Relax,
man. You’re muscles are so tight.”
“Yeah, I just…I haven’t had a
massage in a long time, that’s all,” Justin lies.
“Want one?” Josh asks softly.
“All right.” Justin bites his lip to keep from smiling
when Josh goes to his bathroom.
“This should do.” Josh pushes Justin’s shirt all the way up to
his neck and then opens another small bottle of soothingly scented oil. “You know what,
maybe you should take that off, so it doesn’t get all, um, sticky.”
“All right.” Justin sits up to remove the shirt, hoping
Josh doesn’t notice the blush covering his entire body. He doesn’t dare turn around; he just folds
the shirt and lies back down on his stomach, his arms stretched out, his face
in the pillow, his heart thumping loudly.
“Now then.”
Josh hesitates, and Justin is just about
to change his mind when Josh crawls onto the bed. He straddles Justin, his knees against
Justin’s sides, and starts working on Justin’s shoulders. Justin closes his eyes and tries to imagine
his high school gym teacher or Dick Cheney or anyone else rubbing his shoulders
and back with such grace and tenderness.
It doesn’t work, if the thickness against his thigh is any indication.
“Does this feel good?” Josh
whispers. Justin nods, afraid if he
opens his mouth he’ll scream.
“Good. Just relax, man. I’ll take good care of you.” Justin tries to take deep breaths, but it’s
hard to remain calm with Josh sitting on him, rubbing his naked back and
shoulders, humming softly under his breath.
After a few minutes it’s so good that Justin has to speak just to
disguise the moaning.
“You’re really, um, good at that.”
“Thanks.” Josh kneads Justin’s shoulders before moving
out to his arms.
“Oh…that’s…nice. Feels good.” Josh responds only with a small nod, but he’s
so close that Justin feels Josh’s hair and breath on his bare neck. Justin starts to relax even more, what with
the wine on an empty stomach. “It’s
really good. I haven’t had this in a
long time.” Justin sighs and lets himself go. “I
haven’t been touched…like this…in so long,” he admits.
“Yeah?”
Josh whispers, and when Justin nods he adds, “I know what you mean. It’s nice to be touched…by someone you care
about.”
“I know.” Justin breathes deeply as Josh continues,
leaning over Justin, his breath hot against Justin’s neck. Justin can feel Josh’s body all around
his. He can’t fight the arousal. He takes another deep breath and whispers, “I
missed you, Josh.”
Josh answers, “I really missed you,
Justin,” without missing a beat.
It’s quiet for a while as Justin
lets their words sink into his brain.
After a short pause Josh starts again, working his hands down Justin’s
back. When Justin’s soft moans start
coming somewhat regularly, Josh says, “If you ever need me—I mean, need this—I’m
here. OK?”
“Yes.” Justin arches as he yawns, inadvertently
brushing his ass against Josh’s thighs.
Josh moves back quickly, and Justin grins into the bed.
“Dinner will be ready soon,” Josh
says nervously as he starts working Justin’s calves. Justin mentally high fives himself for
changing into the loose fitting long shorts he’s wearing. The feeling of Josh’s hands on his muscles is
positively divine. Lying half dressed
and hard in Josh’s bed is positively divine.
Josh is positively divine.
“What are…oh…what are we having?”
Justin whimpers as Josh works the tension and nervousness out of his lower
legs.
“Poached salmon
and roasted baby potatoes.” Josh
moves to the floor and starts kneading the soles of Justin’s feet. “Sound good?”
“Mmmm.” Justin
knows he shouldn’t let himself get this relaxed, shouldn’t let Josh know how
good this feels, but part of him can’t resist.
And part of him wants Josh to
know. He starts to say as much, then squeals when Josh manipulates his toes. “Hey!
That tickles!”
“Sorry.” Josh sighs jokingly and moves back to the
bed, his hands gently gliding up the back of Justin’s legs. Justin holds his breath when he feels Josh’s
hands on his thighs, kneading and caressing.
Josh makes broad strokes from there up to his lower back and his sides. He hesitantly massages Justin’s ass in the
process. “Um,” Josh asks shyly, “is this
ok?”
Justin swallows hard. “Yeah. It’s good.”
“OK.
Tell me when to stop,” Josh whispers.
Eventually the muscle massage turns more into just touching. Josh slowly draws patterns with his
fingertips, then his palms, along Justin’s spine, his arms, his neck, then to
the tattoos. Josh traces the one on
Justin’s ankle, the one on his shoulder, and the one on his back. He asks, and Justin happily tells him the
story of each individual tattoo. When
asked if there are others, Justin blushes and points to his hip before gently
pulling the waistband down a little so Josh can touch the one there, too.
“Did they hurt?” Josh asks as he
traces the ink on Justin’s hipbone.
“Yeah, but only
for a little while.” Justin licks
his lips and tries not to grind the bed when Josh’s hands slip under his shorts
to gently knead the glutes. To cover up the moan rumbling in his throat,
he mutters, “Do…do you have any ink—oh, that’s right. You mentioned once that you hate needles.”
“You remember that?” Josh asks with
a grin.
“I remember everything you
say.” Justin is almost too relaxed and
turned on to care how that sounds. He
almost doesn’t care that Josh could find him out any second. Justin thinks he might want Josh to
find him out.
“Between this and the wine, I’d say
I’m pretty comfortable,” Justin sighs happily.
“Good.”
“I haven’t felt this…relaxed…in a
long time.”
“I’m glad I could help you out,”
Josh giggles. He drags his fingertips up
and down Justin’s sides, causing Justin to hiss. “You like that?” Josh teases.
“Mmm.” Justin
lets his eyes close, and tells himself that he’s half asleep and half drunk,
and that’s why he can be bold enough to half jokingly ask, “So, Josh. Do you give happy ending?”
“Very funny,
asshole.” Josh sounds serious,
but then he laughs heartily, and Justin has to laugh too, so Josh won’t notice
his pink face. “You really are funny,
J.”
“I know.” Justin wants to bury his head under the
pillows.
“I mean it,” Josh whispers as he
goes back to tracing the scratch on Justin’s back. “You make me laugh so much. It’s one of the things I love about you,
man.” Justin doesn’t say anything, just
breathes deep and silently urges Josh to say more. “Aren’t you upset about all these scratches?”
“I told you it’s all right.” Justin sighs weakly.
“Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?”
“I’m sure.”
“Well, just in case.” Josh slides down and presses his lips to
Justin’s back. “To make it all better,”
he whispers before gently kissing the scratch.
Justin shudders from head to toe.
“All better?”
“All better,” whispers Justin,
barely perceptible over the catch in his throat. Josh places another quick kiss to the skin
and then moves back to a sitting position on Justin’s legs. “Like I said, she’s never been that bad
before. I wouldn’t have asked you to
cat-sit if I’d known—”
“It’s really ok, C. Besides, it gave me a chance to look through
all your stuff while you were gone.”
“Oh yeah?”
Josh snickers. “Find anything good?”
“Just tons of porn and sex toys,”
Justin kids.
“Oh,” Josh says softly. After a few seconds of silence he sheepishly
asks, “So…you went through my bottom drawer?”
Justin does a double take and quickly turns to look over his shoulder at
Josh, who is positively pink in the face.
“Josh, man, I was kidding!” Josh goes from pink to red.
“Oh!
Um, yeah, right, I know. I was
just kidding, too, you know, ha ha ha!”
“You spa—freak.” Justin catches himself, and Josh smiles
gratefully.
“Thanks,” Josh whispers. He leans down and presses his forehead to
Justin’s. “You remembered.”
“Yeah.” Justin lays his head back on the pillow. “But you’re still a freak!”
“Ha!
Go ahead, call me names,” Josh laughs.
He leans down, his hands on Justin’s sides, his lips on Justin’s ear,
his chest just touching Justin’s naked back, and he whispers, “You love me
anyway.” Justin gulps, and Josh giggles,
kisses Justin’s cheek and gets off the bed.
“C’mon, let’s eat,” Josh says
happily as he holds his hand out for Justin.
Justin blinks and tries to think fast.
“Uh.”
“What’s wrong, J?” Josh asks
sincerely. Justin decides that Josh has
no idea that he’s sporting wood just for him.
“I’ll be there in a minute.” Justin fakes a yawn. “I’m so relaxed, don’t want to move
yet.” Justin yawns again, and Josh
smiles and strokes Justin’s cheek with the back of his hand. Justin closes his eyes and thinks about
spiders, deflated balloons, and melted ice cream. When he opens his eyes Josh is calling to him
from the kitchen and he’s flaccid again.
25. Touching after the massage
“Thanks again for dinner,” Justin
says when he comes up behind Josh, who’s just finished brushing his teeth. “As always, it was wonderful.” They smile at each other in the bathroom
mirror’s reflection.
“I’m glad you came.” Josh puts his toothbrush away and stretches a
little with a yawn. “You don’t have to
thank me, I want to. Besides, after two
weeks of my cooking, you’ll probably hate it.”
“No way,” Justin says sweetly, and
they smile at each other in the mirror again.
Eventually Justin sighs and says, “I guess I should get going.” Josh nods, but Justin doesn’t move. Instead he touches Josh’s back when Josh
stretches again. He kneads Josh’s neck
and shoulders as Josh closes his eyes and hums appreciatively. “Thanks for…before, you know. This. The massage, I mean.”
“You’re welcome, man.” Josh leans back and sighs as Justin rubs his
work and cooking weary shoulders. “Mmm. That’s so good,” groans Josh. He steps back, closer to Justin’s body, and
tips his chin to chest so Justin can work the back of his neck. Justin runs his fingers through the wild
curls, pulling them aside to expose the pale skin. He stares at it, has to fight the desire to
kiss it. “Thanks, J. This is just what I…mmm…need,”
Josh mumbles into his chest. “It’s been
a long time for me too. I mean…you
know…massages and all,” he whispers.
“No problem. What are friends for, right?” Justin asks
softly.
“Right.” Josh rolls his head and cracks his neck.
“Shit, man!” Justin yelps, his hands
reflexively coming around Josh in a protective manner. “That sounded painful.”
“No, it’s good. I feel good.”
Josh pulls Justin’s arms around his body and smiles at him in the
mirror. Justin rolls his eyes and pulls
Josh tight against him, laughing into Josh’s neck.
“What am I gonna do with you?”
“Whatever you
want.” Josh’s smile is hard to
comprehend. For a moment they just stare
at each other in the mirror. When that
becomes uncomfortable, Justin scrambles for something to say.
“It’s really nice of you to offer to
cook for me for 2 whole weeks, but you really—”
“I want to, and that’s that. OK?” Josh says seriously, and Justin
nods. He won’t give Josh another chance
to change his mind—he doesn’t want him to anyway.
“You’re so…um…you’re a really great
friend,” Justin says. Josh smiles, but
it’s small, unsure. He pulls Justin’s
arms down to his sides and interlaces their fingers.
“So are you, J.” He sounds a little sad, and Justin wants so
badly to make that sadness go away. He
just wishes he knew how. He settles for
stroking Josh’s arms slowly, just gently rubbing his palms up and down the
skin, until Josh closes his eyes and sighs.
“This is nice.”
“Yeah,” Justin whispers as he watches
Josh’s biceps flex under his touch. Such
strong arms on such a skinny guy, he thinks.
Justin smiles as he imagines his female relatives in
“You’re right.” Josh sighs, and suddenly his hand is on
Justin’s leg, just tracing soft circles into the shorts. “You don’t know how important it is, until
you don’t get it for months and months.”
“I’m sorry.” Justin holds Josh closer, his hands spreading
across Josh’s chest and stomach while Josh massages Justin’s arms. “I’m sorry, Josh.”
“Don’t be, this is so good,” Josh
whispers. Justin nods and kisses the
side of Josh’s face.
“Is this alright?” Justin
whispers. Josh smiles and wraps Justin’s
arms tighter around his body. Justin
rests his chin on Josh’s shoulder and the two friends look at each other, their
faces, their bodies, their arms. There’s
heat between them, but Justin knows it’s more than just sexual for him. He knows that he’s never felt quite like this
before in his life.
“What are you thinking?” Josh asks
after a few moments.
“That we look really good together,”
Justin answers confidently, not afraid of how Josh might take that, because
Justin means it in every way.
“Yeah, we do.” Justin steels himself and lets his fingers
explore. His left hand steady on Josh’s
waist, Justin brings his right hand up to Josh’s face, tracing the chiseled features
as if he’s studying him. Josh smiles,
and then giggles.
“What?”
“That tickles my big ass nose, man!”
“Shut up, your nose is…”
“Big,” Josh pronounces. Justin looks at it, marvels at it.
“Yeah, big and
strong and beautiful.” When Josh
tries to protest Justin quickly murmurs, “You’re…beautiful.” A look of surprise and wonder emerges on
Josh’s face, and then he turns pink.
“I…I mean…I didn’t know that…um,
wow,” Josh stammers. He lowers his eyes
and whispers, “Thank you.” He looks
genuinely happy, which makes Justin genuinely ecstatic. When Josh meets Justin’s eyes again, he
smiles sweetly and says, “I think you’re…well…you’re absolutely…you’re alright, Justin.”
“Oh, thanks a lot!” Justin harrumphs
and feigns offense while Josh has a nice laugh.
When the laughter dies Josh twists around to whisper in Justin’s ear.
“Justin. I think you’re magnificent.” Justin blushes and buries his warm face in
the crook of Josh’s neck. They stand
like that, wrapped together, just barely moving, for a full minute. “I’m glad we can be like this,” Josh murmurs.
“So am I.” Justin peeks out from behind Josh’s hair, and
they smile at each other. “It’s weird, ‘cause I really never liked to be touched at all when I was
younger.” Justin plays with Josh’s
shirttails. “Sometimes I still don’t.”
“Why didn’t you say something? I wouldn’t have—”
“It’s different with you.” Justin’s throat goes a little dry, but he
manages to add, “I don’t know why, it just is,” when Josh asks him to explain.
“So…we can do this…again?”
“Yeah.” Justin looks down at their legs, which are
nicely tangled together. He clears his
throat and whispers, “I’ll always be here for you. If you need me.”
“Justin.” Josh turns around in Justin’s arms and they
embrace. It’s a sweet, long hug, one
where they don’t speak but gently rock each other. Justin nuzzles Josh’s neck, just barely able
to resist licking the skin. After a
while Josh pulls back and looks very serious.
“Justin, I want to…I have to…”
“What? Tell me, C.
Please tell me.”
“I just,” Josh says nervously, like
he’s searching for the right words. “I
want you to know that…you’re special to me.”
Justin’s stomach flutters.
“I know. So are you.
I mean, um, we’ve become such good friends, you know?”
“Friends,” Josh murmurs.
“I’ve never had a friendship quite
like this,” Justin says carefully, looking into Josh’s eyes as he squeezes his
hand.
“Yeah. Friends,” Josh sighs.
“Very, very,
overly affectionate, girly friends!”
“Yeah!”
Josh laughs.
“This is a little weird, isn’t it?”
Justin asks. Josh nods. “I think I know why we’re…you know. So, um…touchy-feely.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. Because neither of us has gotten laid in
months! If we don’t get some fast, we’ll
be humping each other soon!” Justin
laughs when he says it, so he won’t say anything more.
“I see.” Josh turns pink and looks down at his feet.
“Am I right?” asks Justin nervously.
“No, you’re right. You’re right, Justin. We’re both missing something, so…yeah.”
“Let’s go out tomorrow night. I’ll call Britney, and we’ll go dancing or
something. Maybe she can hook you up
with a hot friend of hers. Or…something.”
“Mmm. Ok,”
Josh mumbles to his feet.
“You don’t want to.”
“No, that’s…I haven’t been dancing
in so long, so yeah, I wanna go. Good
idea. Yes.”
“Ok.
I’ll let you know at work tomorrow.”
Josh nods and shifts his feet.
“Cool beans. I can’t wait!”
“Me either. I want to dance with you—I mean, I want to see you dance.”
“Yeah, me too.” Justin blushes when he realizes that they’re
still holding hands. “It’s getting
late.”
“Here.” Josh hands Justin the Vitamin E oil
bottle. “Don’t forget. Two to four times a day.”
“Ok.
Will you help me with the scratch on my back tomorrow?”
“Sure,” Josh says with a sweet
smile.
“Ok.
I’ll let myself out.” Justin leans
in for a cheek kiss and says, “Good night, Mikey.”
Josh smiles and replies, “Night,
Brian.” They go to kiss cheeks, but they
get corners of mouths in the process. It
happens so fast that Justin can’t react.
He leaves and goes over the entire night in his head on the drive
home—the massage, the kisses on his back, all the touching, Josh telling him he
was magnificent. The
pseudo-kiss. Justin starts to
feel more encouraged than ever, despite his lack of concrete proof of
Josh’s…predilections. Or
Josh’s feelings toward…anyone in particular. Still, Justin touches the corner of his mouth
where Josh kissed him and smiles. And hopes.
<<CHAPTER
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