You Bring Me Joy

(Like a Best Friend Should)

Chapter Eighteen

32. Miami car accident June 27

The morning of June 27, Justin comes back from a coffee break to find his cellphone blaring in his desk. Within minutes he’s gathering his stuff and shutting down his computer. He tells Johnny that he has to leave—it’s an emergency—and goes over to Josh’s empty desk.

“Justin, what’s going on?” Joey asks.

“I’ve gotta go to Miami,” Justin mumbles as he scribbles a note for Josh. He folds the note in half and places it under Josh’s coffee mug in the middle of the desk. “Can you tell Josh when he gets back?”

“Sure, but what’s the matter?” Joey asks, reaching out to grab Justin before he races out. Justin stops just for one second.

“I just got a call. My mom’s in the hospital.”

“Mama? Mama? Can…can you hear me?”

“Of course I can hear you!” Justin’s mother grunts, eyes flying open as Justin grips her hand desperately, waking her out of her painkiller-inducing rest. Justin sighs and collapses next to his mother’s emergency room bed.

“Oh, thank God. You’re breathing!” Justin groans tearfully. Lynn rolls her eyes and pats Justin’s head.

“Baby, what are you doing here? Didn’t they tell you I was fine? It was just a little car accident.”

“But…but…you’re in the hospital,” Justin says as he pulls a chair up to her bed. “They told me you were unconscious.”

“Yeah, um, that.” Lynn struggles a little, and with her son’s help she sits up against the flat pillow. “When I came to, and saw the bone sticking out,” she drawls and points to the cast on her leg, “I screamed like a cat thrown headfirst into a bubble bath!”

“Oh, Mommy.” Justin takes a peek at her wrapped up leg jutting out from her hospital gown, then smoothes the sheet back up to his mother’s waist. “That looks painful.”

“Only giving birth to you was worse, baby. I screamed so much that I made myself pass out!” Lynn sighs and rifles her fingers through her curly hair. “I must look awful!”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“This is the last time I come to Miami for a weekend of shopping with the girls!”

“Mom, shouldn’t you get some sleep?”

“Justin, you didn’t have to come all the way here! Your stepfather will be here as soon as he can get a flight out of Memphis. Do you have any chocolate? I’m dying for a Twix!”

“Mommy, did they give you Oxyconton?”

“Don’t be silly,” she huffs, dismissing Justin’s question with a flick of her hand. “They don’t give you acne medication for pain.”

“Um, I think you’re high,” Justin mutters as he looks around for a doctor.

“My sweet baby boy came all the way to see me!” Lynn yawns and reaches out for Justin, who only stares at her blankly. “Such a good boy. You’ll be a great dad some day. But not yet! Still using condoms every time?”

“Mom!”

“I know, you’re a good boy. Always wearing a coat when it rains.”

“It’s the drugs, mommy! Fight it!”

“Justin, do you know what French ticklers are?”

“Ok, you need to get some sleep, ‘cause I’m gonna freak out if I have to listen to this any more.”

“Be a good boy and get your mother some snacks or something.” Justin nods and pecks her on the forehead. Halfway into the hallway he hears, “And bring me a Coke! Not like cocaine, but the soda!” Justin shakes his head and thanks God his mother is safe, even if she is temporarily insane.

“All I could get is a Pep—mom?” Justin tiptoes back to his mother’s bedside when he finds her fast asleep. He pulls a chair closer and lays his head on the bed next to her arm. For a second he thinks about rushing outside to make a quick call on his cellphone, but changes his mind when his eyelids start to droop. He probably doesn’t even have his cell phone on, he thinks as he drifts off to sleep.

It’s nearly 5 PM when Justin wakes up with a crick in his neck. He stretches and goes off to find the restroom. On the way back he looks around the bustling emergency room. Everywhere there are adults complaining, kids screaming, people looking really sick. He stands against the wall and takes several deep breaths. He focuses on the wall opposite him, a wall with little flags drawn by little sick kids. It suddenly dawns on Justin, in his still sluggish haze, how lucky his mother really is…how lucky he is. He sits down in a nearby bench and rests his head in his hands. He’s like that for a few minutes—just silently thanking God that his mom only has a broken leg, that his mother is still with him, and that his world is going to be just fine—so he doesn’t notice his name being called.

“Justin?”

“I’m…here.” Justin looks up, and almost bursts into tears.

It takes Josh several minutes to discern that Justin’s mother only has a broken leg, and is going to be fine, and that the redness in Justin’s eyes is from exhaustion and not sorrow. Justin keeps interrupting Josh’s questions with questions of his own: why did you come, how did you know I was here, when did you leave work, what are you doing here? Josh explains slowly, so Justin will calm down, that he was worried when he read the note, and he couldn’t concentrate on his work. Justin watches Josh’s mouth move, but he doesn’t even hear the words the first time. He’s so indescribably flabbergasted. He makes Josh tell him again how he lied about being sick to Johnny to get out of work early. He smiles and stares at Josh’s hands on his as he listens to, again, Josh tell him about getting lost on the highway, and arguing with the receptionist at another Miami ER before finding the correct hospital.

“You didn’t have to come all this way,” Justin says. “I didn’t…I didn’t expect that.”

“I wanted to. It’s only a three hour drive. Well, 3 and a half, if you count my stopping to get these.” When Justin sees the bouquet of flowers that Josh carefully takes out of his girly manpurse, he almost loses it. He grabs Josh in a tight hug and doesn’t think he can let go.

“It’s ok,” Josh whispers as he holds Justin tight. “She’s gonna be ok, right?”

“Yeah,” sniffs Justin. “It’s just…if I lost her, I’d be completely alone.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Josh says softly. He pulls out of Justin’s embrace and wipes away a small teardrop from beneath Justin’s eye. “Can I meet your mother now?” Justin nods slowly as Josh straightens his clothes and runs his fingers through his hair like a nervous prom date. “Do I look OK, man?” Justin sniffs and nods. Josh smiles and walks ahead of him into the bed area. He’s too far away to hear Justin whisper, “I love you,” but Justin smiles anyway. It felt good just to say it out loud.

Even though it’s their first meeting, Lynn recognizes Josh right away. Justin is mortified when Lynn accepts the flowers with an enthusiastic, “Justin said you were cute, but you’re a fox!” Josh delights in that, then promptly compliments Lynn when she suggests that she must “look like road kill, and thank you very much, Justin, for not giving me time to freshen up before springing your hot young friend on me!” Before Justin can say anything he gets shooed out the door for refreshments. He gives Josh and his mother a few minutes to chat before returning to find Josh holding a pocket mirror up so Lynn could fingercomb her hair. When they have a minute alone, Lynn grabs Justin’s hand and whispers, “He’s wonderful, honey. I couldn’t ask for a better…friend…for you, baby.” Justin only smiles and nods.

Lynn is released from the hospital when her husband arrives from Memphis. The four of them spend the evening noshing on takeout and talking over Pay-Per-View movies at a Miami hotel. When Joey calls Justin’s cell to see if everything’s ok, Justin tells him that he’s spending quality time with “his family.” Josh overhears that, and gives Justin the brightest, sweetest smile he’s ever seen.

Justin wakes up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. Instantly, Josh is out of his own bed and sitting on Justin’s, stroking Justin’s forehead and whispering his name. Justin lets his eyes adjust to the dark hotel room before speaking.

“Nightmare.”

“I figured,” Josh whispers. “It’s no wonder, after all the stress you’ve had today.” He goes to the bathroom and returns with a plastic cup of water. Justin takes it and sits up to drink.

“Thanks, C.”

“No problem.”

“No, I mean, for this. Today.” Justin sighs and sets the cup on the nightstand separating his double bed from Josh’s. “Have I thanked you yet? For coming all the way down here to see about my mom…and me? Have I?”

“About a million times,” Josh answers with a smile and gentle squeeze to Justin’s hand.

“It’s just, when I saw you, I couldn’t believe it.” Justin looks down bashfully. He’s still a little upset by his dream—his mother in a hospital room, surrounded by doctors, a long, blaring beep, his own screaming. He looks up at Josh and swallows. “C?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you—nevermind. Go back to sleep. I’ll be ok.” Josh nods but doesn’t move. “Really. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You were, um. When you were sleeping, you were talking a little bit,” Josh murmurs.

“What did I say?” asks Justin nervously.

“You were, I think, calling for me.” Josh holds Justin’s hand in his lap and smiles reassuringly. “Or maybe I was dreaming that you were talking to me!” Justin smiles, but he knows the truth. “Either way, I’m here.”

“I know that. Thanks. Again.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. It was just a nightmare.” Justin pauses and stares at Josh’s hands around his. “My mom was…it was bad.”

“It’s only anxiety about her accident. She’s going to be fine, you know that.”

“I know, but I’ve never seen my mom in a hospital bed before. I’ve never seen her that vulnerable before.” He looks into Josh’s penetrating eyes. “It scared me. It was just one of those moments that makes you see how fragile everything is, you know? It’s a cliché, I know, but…life is so short. I’m probably not making sense.”

“No, you are. I get you, man. I totally get you.” Justin nods his head, because Josh is one of the few people on the planet that really does get him. He smiles wearily.

“Is this too deep for 3 AM in a hotel room?” Justin chuckles.

“Just a little!” Justin smiles wider and ruffles Josh’s hair.

“Be right back.” Justin stumbles to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. When he returns Josh is still sitting on his bed. Without a word Justin slips into the right side of the bed, leaving plenty of space on the left. When Josh doesn’t take the bait, Justin nonchalantly stretches his arms out, pulling the covers down in the process. Josh looks down at the uncovered corner of bed with question in his eyes.

“You trying to seduce me, Justin?” Josh taunts.

“Wh—no! I was just—”

“Kidding, J.”

“Oh…um…well. Goodnight then.” Justin turns on his side, his back to Josh, and winces at his behavior. Josh chuckles behind him and goes into the bathroom. Justin closes his eyes and listens—a flush, running water, footsteps. He feels rather than hears the bedcovers rustling and the mattress dipping. He smiles when he feels Josh’s hand on his shoulder.

“Asleep yet?”

“Almost,” Justin lies.

“I just wanted to say that, well, I’m really glad I came today,” Josh whispers as he strokes Justin’s arm. “I mean, I’m not glad about the why, but I got to meet your family, so…at least for me, it was a good day. You know?”

“I know. I’m glad for that, too.” Justin pauses and then adds, “My mom thinks you’re, like, wonderful. Or something.”

“Mm,” chuckles Josh. “The feeling’s mutual. Of course, I knew she’d be fabulous.”

“How’d you know that?”

“Well, um, you know. The pear doesn’t fall far from the tree. Or, um, apples, maybe,” Josh stammers.

“Apples, yeah,” Justin whispers. He pulls Josh’s arm around his waist, effectively forcing Josh to spoon him. He holds his breath, but Josh doesn’t resist. After Josh makes himself comfortable behind him, Justin says, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Josh whispers into Justin’s neck. The last thing Justin feels before falling asleep is Josh’s big, beautiful nose nuzzled against the back of his ear.

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