You Bring Me Joy
(Like a Best Friend Should)
by Zaen
37. Josh’s birthday Friday
August 8
Justin comes into work on Josh’s birthday
trying very hard to conceal his anxiousness.
He checks his cell phone several times during the day, attracting
curious glances from the birthday boy.
Around 4 PM he gets the call he’s been expecting all day and decides to
take the rest of the day off. Josh
inquires how he’s supposed to get home, as Justin had picked him up that
morning. Justin mentions something about
being designated driver, insists that Joey take Josh to Pearl’s Necklace
directly after work, and rushes out the door.
Later, after happy hour at
The restaurant finally kicks out the
loud quintet around 11:30. After much
confusion, arguing, and key wrestling, Justin and Josh manage to drive their
three friends and their cars to their proper places. They arrive at Josh’s apartment just before
midnight. As they walk up to the door,
Josh thanks Justin profusely for his birthday dinner. Justin nods and smiles nervously. Josh is still babbling nonstop when he walks
in, turns on the light, and stops dead in his tracks. His living room furniture has been rearranged
to accommodate a new addition—a shiny brown upright piano.
BUYING THE PIANO
“I…wha…what’s
that?” Josh stutters, pointing weakly to the instrument that fits perfectly in
the corner where before stood only unpacked boxes. He walks over to it slowly, like it’s a wild
animal that might easily be frightened away.
“Jus…what is this?” he whispers.
He turns wide, surprised eyes to his friend. “Justin?”
“Happy birthday,
Joshua.” Justin swallows the
nervous lump in his throat as he watches Josh’s face change from confused to
utterly surprised…and grateful.
“You…bought me a…piano?” Josh whispers. His hand goes over his chest. He looks as if he might fall out.
“Do you like it?” Justin walks over to the piano and touches
Josh’s arm on the way. “Remember when we
saw it? At that music
store?”
“This is that piano?” Josh bites his
lip and walks over to the piano to look at it.
His eyes fill with tears as he lifts the lid and gingerly touches the
keys. “Justin…it’s a…it’s a piano.
How did you do this?”
“You said you really liked it when
we saw it that time we were window-shopping.”
Justin approaches Josh, whose lip is quivering just a little bit, and
lays his hands on the deep brown wood.
“You said you would love to have it, remember?”
“Yes, I do.” Josh had drooled over the instrument while
counting on his fingers how many months it would take him to save up for
it. That was months ago, and at the time
it hadn’t really occurred to Justin that he could actually afford to buy
it. But the idea stayed with him, so
when the opportunity presented itself over a casual lunch with Britney, he
realized he’d found his answer.
“Do you…do you like it, C?” Josh stares at the keys, the wood, touching
it first with his fingertips, then his entire hands, seemingly oblivious to
Justin nervously shifting his weight.
“Don’t tell me I got the wrong one!”
“I just…I can’t believe you did
this,” Josh whispers. “But it’s so
expensive. How did you do it?” he
implores, not meeting Justin’s eyes, his voice soft, almost somber.
“Well, it was previously owned, so
that helped. I think the guy at the
store said it belonged to an old jazz musician, who took excellent care of
it. It does have a few dings and scratches
and stuff on it—”
“Gives it character,” Josh says as
he traces a faint scar on the side.
“Exactly.” Justin’s heart thumps in his chest as he
watches Josh look over every inch of the medium sized instrument, his bashful
smile widening every second.
“Wow.” Josh still doesn’t look at Justin, but he
walks over next to him, his hands still on the top of the piano. “You have to let me pay—”
“No, C. It’s a gift.”
“But,” Josh whispers, and sniffs a
little. “How can you afford it?”
“Most of my tax
return. And,
um, three weeks of dancing at One-Eyed Monks.” Josh looks up at Justin, his eyes wide and
bright. “Yeah, they really liked me
there. Paid me under
the table, so…yeah. Great tips,
too.”
“You. You danced in a Speedo. For
me?”
Josh whispers, and Justin laughs.
“Yeah, I guess I did.”
“I can’t believe it.” Josh covers his face and sighs deeply. Justin is confused for a second, until Josh
pulls his hands down to reveal an adorably shy, ear-to-ear grin. “Justin Timberlake, you bought me a
piano. For my
birthday.” Josh puts his hands on
his hips and regards Justin like a schoolteacher catching a usually disobedient
child doing something nice for a change.
“Do you even know how amazing you are?”
“So,” Justin asks bashfully as he
flushes under Josh’s awestruck gaze, “does this mean you like it?”
“Like it?” Josh squeals, jumps up
and down and hoots at the ceiling as Justin looks on bewilderedly.
“Um, you ok, C?”
“Justin! Justin, oh my God, man!” Josh grabs Justin by the arms and looks at
him closely. “Justin, this is the most
wonderful, generous gift anyone…fuck, man! I fucking love you!” Justin nearly has the wind knocked out of him
when he’s grabbed into a tight bear hug and lifted off the ground. He’s not sure if Josh is physically picking
him up and shaking him, or if it’s just the effect of hearing Josh say the
words.
“Put me down, man!” Justin laughs.
“Dude! I can’t believe it!” Josh catches his breath, his eyes going from
the piano—his piano—to Justin and back.
“J, man, are you sure? I thought you were saving up to buy a new
car!”
“Yeah, but I figured that if my car
dies anytime soon, then you’ll just have to chauffer me everywhere I
go.” Josh laughs and claps loudly.
“You got a deal! Wow, you are too much, cat!”
“Cat? Who do you think you are, Miles Davis?”
“Ha ha ha!” Josh pulls him into another hug. “Thank you, Justin.” He repeats it several times against Justin’s
cheek. Justin nods his you’re welcome. He can feel Josh’s heart thumping against his
chest, so he doesn’t think he can speak.
“You shouldn’t have done this, you know that, right?” When Justin giggles, Josh hugs him tighter
and whispers, “You’re so sweet” in his ear.
“Hey…aren’t you going to play it?”
“Yes!” Josh smacks him on the cheek and walks over
to the piano bench. He shakes his head,
mumbling “I can’t believe it” several times as he sits down and stretches his
fingers. He runs his fingers over the
keys, pressing them down so softly that they barely make a sound.
“It’s in tune, I think,” Justin says
nervously. Josh plays a few simple
chords and nods approvingly. He pauses
for a second, and then begins to play in earnest. His eyes fill within seconds, but he bites
his bottom lip and continues. Justin
isn’t sure if it’s a song or improvisation.
Whatever the music is, Josh’s elation is obvious. He plays more, faster at times, slower and
more reflective at others. Justin sits
on the couch and watches the tears fall out of Josh’s closed eyes. Josh laughs and sniffs, but doesn’t wipe them
away, only keeps playing.
Only when the music stops and Justin
opens his eyes does he realize that his cheeks are wet, too. He watches Josh leave the piano and kneel
down on the floor in front of him.
Josh’s hands are shaking as they rest on Justin’s knees.
“Why did you do this for me? Why not just let me buy it myself?” When Justin’s confusion shows on his face,
Josh smiles, squeezes Justin’s hand and asks, “I mean, why give it to
me?”
“Because…I wanted
to make you happy.” Even through
tears Josh’s face crinkles up into an infectious grin. “Are you happy, C?” Josh barely whispers a “yeah” and then Justin
is in his arms. They stay like that for
a moment, then Josh pulls back to look Justin in the eye.
“Justin. Thank you.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart,” Josh states with a quivering
voice.
“You’re very welcome.” Justin’s voice is equally weak.
“It’s perfect. It plays beautifully. It’s just…it’s just perfect,” Josh whispers
as they gently press foreheads together.
“It’s what I’ve always wanted, and the fact that you gave it to me makes
it even more special.” Justin clears the
lump from this throat and nods. “I can’t
even express how much this means to me.
It’s too big,” Josh whispers as his hands rest on Justin’s face. “I’m completely overwhelmed by it. By you. I love…the piano. I love it, man.”
“I’m glad,” Justin mutters, his eyes
falling quickly to the floor. He waits,
but hears for a moment only Josh’s breathing, and his
pulse in his ears. When he looks up
again, Josh is staring at him wide eyed.
“You’re an amazing person,” Josh
whispers. “I’m so glad I went into computers.”
“Aww,
man,” Justin groans as he pulls Josh into another hug. They rock just a little as Josh whispers
thank you again and again against his cheek.
Lips press there for a few seconds before moving to the other side. Justin sighs happily as Josh showers long,
soft, slow kisses to his eyelids, his cheeks, his forehead, his jaw—everywhere
but Justin’s trembling lips.
“I hope you don’t mind this girlish
affection,” Josh whispers, “but I really need to do this. This moment calls for, like, heavy powerbonding, don’t you think?”
“I think you’re right.” Justin shivers when Josh kisses his
earlobe. His hands slip of their own
will down into Josh’s back pockets.
“I mean, it’s not every day that
your…um…close friend gives you the second best birthday gift of your
life.” Josh smiles when Justin looks up
sharply.
“Second? Well, um, what was the first,” Justin asks
sheepishly.
“Your friendship.” Justin can’t even look at him. Josh chuckles at the high blush covering
Justin’s face. He rubs Justin’s warm
cheek and whispers, “Do you even know how grateful I am?”
“I know, C.” They gaze at each other closely, wiping cheeks of last remnants of
tears. When it looks like Josh has
nothing more to say, Justin smiles sadly and clears his throat. “That was definitely a heavy powerbonding moment.”
Josh swallows and whispers, “Can we
have a, um, MichaelandBrianmoment?”
“Yeah,” is all Justin can utter
before leaning in to meet Josh. Their lips
touch briefly, softly, shyly. It’s only
for a second, and then, before Justin even has time to register what just
happened, they’re back to hugging warmly again.
Josh plays nonstop for half an hour
before thinking to check his answering machine and mail. He opens cards from his siblings and parents
but leaves the rest for tomorrow. Then
he plays several messages, all wishing him a happy birthday. Justin gives Josh privacy, but swears he
hears his name mentioned on a message from two very giddy sounding men. Before he can remember to ask about that, he
hears Josh squealing to his folks about his new piano. Within minutes Josh is bounding out of his
bedroom and handing Justin the phone. It
all happens so fast, luckily for Justin, so he doesn’t have time to get nervous
about speaking to Josh’s parents for the first time. They sound like such nice people, and it
warms Justin’s heart to hear how proud they are of their son. Justin likes them instantly, and he thinks
they like him, too, if their subtle inquiry about his Thanksgiving plans is any
indication.
It’s very late to be playing piano, and Justin has been
fighting the yawns for a while, but he’s too happy watching Josh play to ask
him to stop. Or to go
home. He sits next to Josh on the
piano bench, watching Josh’s fingers on the keys and his feet on the pedals and
his eyes disappearing into happy slits.
When Justin’s eyes start to close on their own, he lays his head on
Josh’s shoulder.
“Am I boring you?” Josh chuckles.
“No.
Keep playing. I’m just
tired. Been a long
day.”
“Yeah.” Josh plays a bluesy version of “Rock a bye,
baby,” which makes Justin only yawn more after he laughs. His arm finds its way around Josh’s waist.
“Mmm. You’re a
real musician,” Justin mumbles. “I wish I
played better.”
“Yeah, I remember you told me once
you used to take lessons.” Josh moves
easily into another lullaby, this time accompanied by Justin’s two fingers on
some high notes. “You took lessons for 2
years before you decided to teach yourself, right?”
“You remember me saying that.” It no longer surprises Justin that Josh
remembers nearly everything he says.
“Of course I do.” Justin sighs and rubs Josh’s back as they
play an impromptu melody. Justin
remembers enough about keys and changes to follow along. He smiles when Josh’s right hand travels up
to the higher notes, Josh’s fingers lightly brushing against his on their
retreat.
“You had the—my piano
delivered when you left work early, didn’t you?” Josh asks after a while. Justin nods against his neck. “You’re too much, J. You’re so good to me.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Seriously, though. You are.
I wish I could…”
“What?” Justin chirps
hopefully. Josh stops playing and taps
Justin’s thigh. Justin looks up to see
that now familiar look in Josh’s eye that says I have an idea!
“What are you doing two weekends
from now?” Josh asks with a hesitant smile.
“Um, I dunno.” Justin sits up, removes his hand from the
small of Josh’s back, and clears his throat.
“Why?”
“I want you to come to
“You…what? What for?
I mean, um, really?”
“Yeah, man! You know that I’m going to a wedding that
weekend, and, well, I know you’ve never been to L.A. and you could use a few
days off after working 2 jobs for all these weeks for me—thank you again, by
the way, and no I will not stop thanking you—and it’d be really great to see
California with you and…um…yeah.” Josh
has worked himself into a mild frenzy, and Justin is only too happy to witness
his bliss. “I could show you around, and
we could do the touristy thing for a few hours or whatever and, um, I could
take you wherever you wanted to go. If we have the time…and, the, um, funds.” Justin laughs as Josh grabs his hands and
wriggles excitedly. “Dude, we’ll have a
blast. I really want you to come with
me. Please come, J. I’ll get your ticket and pay for everything.”
Justin’s eager grin falters
slightly. “Josh. Is that why you…look, you don’t have to pay
me back, ok?”
“I know that. I do.”
Josh rubs the worry from his friend’s face. “It’s not like that, J. I want to show you my old home. C’mon, we’ll have a blast.”
“It’s too short notice,” Justin
states emphatically, even though he knows he’s giving in already. “A ticket to
“Not…necessarily.” When Justin peers at him suspiciously, Josh
twists bashfully and says, “There might be airline specials. And if not…I still have access to my ex’s
frequent flyer miles!”
“Oh.
That so?”
“Between work and vacations, the
miles really rack up.”
“Are you allowed to do that?” Justin
asks hesitantly. Josh shrugs and turns,
giving Justin his profile. He hesitates
for a few seconds, then nibbles on a thumb.
“Um. I think…I know it’ll be ok.” Josh looks at Justin out of the corner of his
eye, sighs, and says quickly, “Besides…Ton won’t miss the miles anyway.”
“Ton—Toni?”
Justin squeaks. He pats a large hand over
his loudly protesting stomach.
Josh blushes and just barely
nods. “Yeah…my ex.”
“So. Toni.”
Bitch, Justin thinks. Now
he has a name to attach to the faceless phantom of Josh’s brokenhearted
past. He waits for Josh to start in—and
he really wants Josh to rip the woman to shreds—but he says nothing. If anything, he seems to be waiting for
Justin to reply. Justin takes Josh’s
hand, and is surprised to find it clammy.
“So,” Josh says barely above a
whisper. He glances at Justin only for a
second before settling nervous eyes back on the piano keys. “Now you know.”
“Yeah, but don’t worry, C. I’m not going to put a hex on your—Toni,
or anything, just because I finally know what name to call the voodoo doll.”
“No,” Josh laughs nervously. “I didn’t mean about…um…nevermind.” Josh ruffles his hands through his floppy
hair and lets out a long, miserable sigh.
“Toni really hurt you.” Justin’s hand finds its way back to the small
of Josh’s back.
“Yeah.”
“I’m really sorry, Josh.” Justin almost says Women suck, but he
doesn’t think that would sound very het of him right
now.
“I’m not sorry,” whispers Josh. His eyes change almost instantly, from
remorseful to hopeful. “If we hadn’t broken up, I would have never
moved back to
“Right!”
Justin blurts out as his stomach flutters.
“I mean it. These last six months have been so amazing.” Josh wraps a hand around Justin’s, squeezing
gently as they gaze at each other.
“Yeah, for me,
too.” Justin nervously coughs and
lets Josh’s hand go. “So, if Ton…I mean,
if you can cash in the miles, and I get to go, what do I do while you’re at the
wedding?”
“Oh, um. Well.”
Josh nods, but his eyebrows wrinkle.
“Actually, I was hoping you’d come to the wedding, too. You know, be my date, I guess.”
“Huh?” Justin does a cursory fingertip cleaning of
his ear. “How can I be your date?”
“You come with me, that’s how!” Josh
cracks his knuckles, and then casually inspects his fingernails.
“No, I mean…I can be your date? Won’t the bride and groom mind at all?”
“Not likely,” Josh laughs before
starting on a fresh, un-nibbled nail.
“And there’s, um, no bride. Just 2 grooms.”
Justin is fairly certain that his stomach is completely audible now.
“Really. Really?” Josh glances at him hesitantly, but when
Justin adds an excited, “Cool, I’ve never been to a gay wedding before,” Josh
smiles brightly at him.
“I’m glad you…I mean…yeah. Wow.
Good.” Josh bites his lip, his
face absolutely radiant, like it was when he first discovered his birthday
present. “So, you still want to come
with me?”
“Yeah, I do, C. But, seriously,
“Ha!
Usually, but I’ll make an exception.
I don’t mind spending a couple of extra dollars on you, man.” Justin shrugs like he doesn’t love the
compliment, which he does. “It’ll be
fun, I promise.”
“I’m not worried. We always have fun together. Don’t we?”
“Absolutely.” There’s a pause while Justin tries to think
of ways to ask questions he’s not sure he wants answered.
“Are both grooms, um, friends of
yours?” Justin asks nonchalantly.
“Mm-hmm.”
“How did you meet them?”
“I met Alex and Brad at college, and then we used to
jam together sometimes,” Josh replies easily.
“Were they together when you met
them?”
“No.
They got together a few years later.
What’s with all the questions?”
“Don’t you want me to know
everything about you?” Justin teases.
Josh sighs and motions for Justin continue. “You all, I mean, the 4 of you were friends,
right?” A cautious
nod. “Will Toni be at the
wedding?”
“Most likely,” Josh mutters. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure.” Justin feels guilty for asking, and for
causing the worry lines that suddenly appear on Josh’s face.
“Look, don’t worry, ok?” Justin slips his hand inside Josh’s and
clamps their fingers together. “Don’t
worry about seeing—we’ll have a great time no matter what, ok?”
“Ok, sweetie.” Justin quiets the butterflies in his belly
with a warm hug and a quick kiss to Josh’s face. Luckily, Josh doesn’t seem to mind that
Justin accidentally got his mouth in the process.
Lucky for Justin, their greeting and
parting kisses gravitate from cheeks to full-blown, on the mouth, very
quick kisses virtually overnight. Public
PDA’s remain at handshakes and one-armed hugs, but Justin quickly learns to
expect—crave—the soft warmth of Josh’s lips, even if only for a short second
here and there, when they’re alone. He
keeps meaning to mention this new trend, but he’s fairly certain Josh will say
something about being open-minded or evolved or metrosexual. And didn’t Britney once use that word with
him? So Justin shuts his mouth and
waits. It’s coming. It has to be.
He’s fairly certain that most heterosexual men don’t kiss hello on the
mouth. Or sleep in the same bed several
times a week. Or call each other
sweetie. Or buy each other pianos.
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