Get ready for a travelogue for the happiest place on earth from yours truly! Come and help me relive some of my fondest memories from my summer of 2003 trip! C’mon! It’ll be fun!!
Here’s where my family stayed. I got to bunk with my mom who snores like a constipated elephant in heat (not that I’ve had any personal experiences with constipated elephants in heat. But if I were to guess what one sounded like, I would assume it would sound like my mom snoring). Luckily I was armed with ear plugs.
I’m finally here, after 24 years, at the Happiest Place on Earth. Where cast members in hot, cumbersome, stuffed animal suits cow tow to kids trampling each other to shake their hands. THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH, I TELL YA!!!!! Main Street is pretty neat. You gotta give those cast members some serious credit
Every morning, as the Magic Kingdom opens, a train load of Disney characters comes into the station to herald in a new day at the Happiest Place on Earth! Cheers of “OPEN THE FLIPPIN’ GATE, ALREADY! YA FRIGGIN’ MOUSE!” can be heard from the unruly crowd below. Actually, it was just me yelling that. Well, c’mon!!! I had a Haunted Mansion to ride, fer crissakes!!!!!
Hey kids, do you wanna hear an interesting Disney fact about the park? It has been rumored that Walt Disney has been cryogenically preserved after his death. That’s not true at all. It’s an old urban legend. What really happened was that after his death, Disney instructed that his body be dipped in melted bronze and to put him on display in the middle of the park. And Kids, if you listen hard enough you can hear Walt’s soul crying out in eternal pain from within his eternal bronze prison.
THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!!!!!