Here is the first attraction that greets you when arriving at Epcot. Spaceship Earth is a very cool omnimover ride that takes you through the history of communication. Sadly, the brainiacs at Disney have decided to gut the ride and turn it into an indoor rollercoaster. Boy, that’s original! Anyone ever hear of a ride called SPACE MOUNTAIN? Seriously, one of the bad things going on at amusement parks these days is that they are taking down their dark rides for “thrill” rides. I’d much rather ride through the Haunted Mansion than have my heart explode, pee myself while throwing up at the same time on some unoriginal roller coaster. Enough with that soap box. Let’s move on…
There’s loads of stuff to occupy your time in Epcot. Here’s a room full of interactive craziness and scientific malarkey to keep you entertained while at the same time, teaching you something. Why the frell couldn’t Sister Timon’s 5th grade science classes have been like that?
Every so often a bus load of Disney characters would drive around the World Showcase at Epcot. This time it went by, the wise cracking driver was yelling, “OH GOD! THE BRAKES ARE OUT!!! I CAN’T STOP!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I’M HEADING RIGHT FOR THE AZTEC TEMPLE AND MIKEY AND ALL HIS FURRY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO PARISH IN A BLAZE OF TWISTED METAL, TORN FLESH, RIPPED FUR AND BLOOD!!! OH, THE HUMANITY!!!” Needless to say, that driver is now serving people Whoppers and apple pie at Burger King.
It is here that many a Guinness went down my gullet quite smoothly. Just thinking about it makes me need to pee.
Well kids, this ends my trip to Walt Disney World. I hope you’ve had as good a time reading about it as I did going (but, you probably didn’t so… bites to be you).