'When you feel all alone, and the world has turned its back on you. Give me a moment please, to tame your wild wild heart. I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you, its hard to find release and people can be so cold. When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore, Let me be the one you call . If you jump Ill break your call. Lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart, I can meand a broken heart, if you need to crash then crash and burn but your not alone. When you feel alone and a loyal friend is hard to find. Your caught in a one way street with the monsters in your head. When hopes and dreams are far away and you feel like you cant face the day.'
The ides of march have come and gone, and they yeild what was expexted I guess. I got an email from a friend a few weeks ago with the lyrics to this song in message. He said he missed me. And I sent back a generic email telling him how busy I was and that I would write again when I had a chance. His name was Ashley. He lived just outside my hometown in Tennessee, we used to play together when I was little. Ashley died this morning, of Aids. He turned 15 about 3 weeks ago. I've always heard that death comes in threes, but I try to make myself forget abot that when someone dies, because I never want to know who could be next. This is number 3.
I felt his caress so soft and gentle, so deleciate I asked for more. I thought the whole universe was inside his heart. Get Real. You know, a friend actually said that to me tonight. I told the rest of the story for her. But instead he was a pig, he broke my heart and blah, blah, blah. Jesus, how stupid are people. One of the first lessons that I have to teach people now, is that the only person you can truly trust is yourself, and then only half the time. Cause anything else ends up with loss and lonliness. No matter what the situation.
People (and this doesn't exclude myself) should open their eyes to what's going on around them. Take things as they find them, instead of how they want them to be. Sorry, I guess should step down from my soapbox now and let someone else bitch. I just realized it tonight, but that has been one of my major problems.
Tonight I said that it had been raining in my life for months, I think it's about time for that to end. I mean, I've had a few good days here and there, and some great days, and some really sucky days. I guess that's the way things work out. Anyway, good night.
I didnt have a big agenda today, so I slept in, smiles, my favourite thing to do. Then I went out to the office for a bit, which was okay. And now I'm home again.
I was just thinking this morning that it's pretty sad that we all, or most of us anyway, place our happiness in other people's hands. Most people focus so much on what other people think of them, that we don't take enough time to focus on what we think of ourselves, which in the long run is the only thing that matters. I'm probably the worst off as far as this matter is concerned, and its a hard thing to reverse. But Im gonna try. Im not saying everyone should be self centered, but we should focus on our needs before we try to meet others needs because we cant help if we arnt fit for it, I dunno, maybe im just rambling, i tend to do that sometimes, but that was on my mind so I wanted to say it.
Maybe the grass is greener on the other side. *wink* Happy St. Patrick's day everyone. later...
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