| Two people walked into a bar. You think the other guy should have ducked? Get it? |
| A man and his wife decide to go to Florida for a vacation. The husband leaves the day before to make sure all their reservations are alright. When he arrives in Florida, He decides to write an e-mail to his wife. When sending the e-mail, the wrong e-mail address was written. The e-mail was sent to a wife who's husband just died. When the lady reads the e-mail she faints. Later on that day, the sister walks in the room and reads the e-mail. It says: "Hi Honey, How you doing? I'm having lots of fun. It's really hot down here. I'll be expecting you tomorow. Bye, your husband" |
| Warning Labels for Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. (Comments in brackets are sarcatic remarks) 1. On Sears hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair) 2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (Evidently, the shoplifter special) 3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how. . . ?) 4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." (But it's "just" a suggestion) 5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down". (Oops, too late!) 6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (As night follows the day . . .duh!) 7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save even more time?) 8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) 9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (One would hope) 10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only" (As opposed to what?) 11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (I gotta admit, I'm curious.) 12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". (NEWS FLASH) 13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta.) 14. On a child's Superman costume:" Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company...I blame parents for this one.) 15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?....Good Grief) Welcome to the page where I will place all kinds of funny things! |
| Funny Things |
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