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Do you want a quick way into some Internet stuff? Click below
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The Original Academy Page
| Platypus God | Wounds | Banana Book | Public Transport | Entertainment |
| WWW Sites | Marshmount Castle | Marshmount Folly | Doctor Who | Sump Man |
Some outside sources in this vein...
| The Dilbert Zone | Worthless Web Pages |
Walter Miller [dead link] |
Irving's Stupid Stuff |
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Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary |
Coolnerds Web Page Options |
Harry Steven Keeler Society Page |
The Bureau of Missing Socks |
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Mutually beneficial links with other imbecilic sites:
View list. "It is a truth that a committee of imbeciles is more like to reach a consensus, in less time and with less argument, than any assemblage of men who call themselves well-informed and intelligent." -- Gomer the Greek |
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Additional Links from This Page
The Casebook of William Blackstone Wildman
Idiotic Detective Stories
Religion Sucks! Why Grobius is an Atheist
Atheism as a Belief
Some Observations about the British Empire after the loss of Hong Kong
Empress of Gibraltar
The Grobius Op-Ed Page
Items in the News (July '97)
New: The Peeve Page
Is the Quality of Life in Decline?
This page is becoming very cluttered up as more things are added to it. Here is an alternative:
NEW: Hot News Buttons
This sort of thing is ephemeral. There is a special web page for items like this at Tripod, where
they will be archived. Marv and Di will disappear from the Academy Hot News Buttons -- actually they already have -- as soon as the Monica and Bill pages are set up (if I ever bother). A list of old Hot News Items follows, since we never throw anything away at the Academy:
Princess Diana:
What would she have looked like in 40 years?
Princess Diana:
What was her Brooklyn connection?
Marv Albert:
Trial Summarized in Four New York Post Headlines
Santa Claus Slain:
He dissed my mom
They died on Snow:
Farley, Kennedy, and Bono
Be Sure to Visit Our Sites in Great Britain
CLAYHEAD :: FLATMAN
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Some Items in the Fishenet
Links and More Links...
The Archbishop of Glasgow's "Monition of Cursing" against the Border Reivers |
Campaign for the Defence of the Traditional Cathedral Choir |
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 Bart Simpson's BlackboardYes, all of Bart's blackboard punishment assignments! |
An English-style Cryptic Crossword Puzzle (with answers & explanations) |
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| By the way, be sure to check out this excellent web page: Mobile Homes of Mississippi. They were too snobbish in that wonderful state to let Doug Kelley, as a Yankee, do plantations, so here is his revenge. | |||||
[Note: this will only work on a Windows Desktop. Click here to download it.]
CHANCERY COURT HAS UPHELD SETH GUICHARDO POTTLEBURY'S CLAIM TO MARSHMOUNT CASTLE! For more information on this story, click here.
LEMEL and FLOORSWEEP
Can you decipher this clue?
"--el 3 oz 5dwts
--eep 9 1/2 oz"
The subject of jargon is undergoing major research at the Academy, and has serious philosophical repercussions vis-a-vis serendipity, scavenging, and stupidity -- analogies in the animal kingdom are the various creatures that eat shit. Humans are the only beings that can convince their fellows that beyond your having to eat it perforce, it tastes good too and is beneficial to your well-being whether you like it or not. The premise is that any jargon invented in the cause of baffling us normals with gobbledygook can be transformed into a meaning any one of us can understand -- language recycling, you could call it. See the prototype site at L&F. Fishe's 'The Jargon Basement Recycling Catalogue' is in preparation, and is now up and running to a great extent. (But as of March 1998 was deleted. In the meantime, amuse yourself with Douglas Adams's and John Lloyd's The Meaning of Liff.)
Recipes --
yes, this web site is also a cook book of sorts
Dum Di Di Do De Dum Dum (extra onions and hold the pickles).
Use lots of hot sauce and cholesterol-free turkey meat*, but avoid
salt at all costs -- that is guaranteed to give you a headache. Garlic should
be used liberally in practically everything you eat (except for corn flakes).
* Click HERE for more information on turkeys
and other stupid birds that let people eat them. If you are more interested in what
hot sauces to use than the fate of these poor beasts that have the misfortune of
not being red meat animals in this health-conscious age then click on what may be the
most comprehensive hot sauce Web Page on the Internet -- plug, plug, and drink
lots of water: HOT SAUCES
You might also want to visit my new web site
Junk Food Delights.
Dum Di Di Do De Dum Dum (extra onions and hold the pickles). Use lots of hot sauce and cholesterol-free turkey meat*, but avoid salt at all costs -- that is guaranteed to give you a headache. Garlic should be used liberally in practically everything you eat (except for corn flakes).
* Click HERE for more information on turkeys and other stupid birds that let people eat them. If you are more interested in what hot sauces to use than the fate of these poor beasts that have the misfortune of not being red meat animals in this health-conscious age then click on what may be the most comprehensive hot sauce Web Page on the Internet -- plug, plug, and drink lots of water: HOT SAUCES
You might also want to visit my new web site Junk Food Delights.
Contact Information
Click this icon to send mail to Grobius.
Click this icon to send mail to Fishe.
Click this icon to submit a Form
(which will be ignored, of course).
There is a brand new Quick Menu for the Grobius Shortling Site -- it is probably
the ugliest menu you will ever see, but was done under our Arts and Imbecility Aegis, and it did not
cost you taxpayers a penny
The Messy Menu
** The Academy Hot Desk is manned 24 hours a day, except on shorter ones **
"A pox upon't, ye cursed caitiff blatherskites!" We teach BUBONICS as a Second Language here at the Academy: We don't care what language you speak as long as you speak our language
Number of IMBECILES who have tried this page:
| The Grobius and Fishe Academy of Arts and Imbecility has one of the most complete collections of pickled bird brains in the world; both Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan have willed us their brains, and we are looking forward to that so we can start our experiment: | ||
| 'Can Science Clone a Smart Man from Mere Dull Gray Matter'Research Project (fondly called in shop CSCSMMDGM). |  |
We are looking for a better acronym: you are welcome to submit either a mnemonic or your brain, doesn't matter |
| It's tax deductible (to us anyway, since there is no capital value attached). The best entries in the name-this-project contest will be listed on this page -- sorry we can't display brain donations, but the Web does not support that technology yet. Please submit your entries on the form supplied above. If it's your brain you want to send us, please click on the "YES, MY BRAIN IS ENCLOSED" box, otherwise we might not know what to do with it. (But be sure to pack it in ice, and enclose a self-addressed, stamped return label so we can ship it back to you if it isn't needed. We use Federal Express and recommend you do the same -- UPS tends to hold back deliveries if no-one is there to receive them, and postal delays tend to be harmful to brain tissue.) We will NOT ACCEPT UNSOLICITED BRAINS unless they come with the SASE>. In most cases, you can't use that as an excuse for not going to work ("My brain is at the Academy") but if you click that button, we will provide a certificate: not quite as good as a Jury notice yet quite effective and official-looking, with the Platypus seal. | ||
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"Many now believe the seat of reason is in the brain. I know that the source of all wisdom resides in the heart. A person who is dead has no wisdom, and that is the proof of the matter." -- Gomer the Greek | ||
Submissions for the Clone Project Name:
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These are pathetic -- come on, gang!
(I had to make these up. Submit something snappy, like BRAINPANS, or AIRHEADS,
or REAGANAUTICS.)
Anybody who responds to this site with e-mail or a form will receive a copy of the BUB.GIF brain logo (which was free from DEBBIE'S graphic animation site). We would appreciate your adding this link to your Web Page if the site appealed to you:
[cut and paste]
Do you want a link to your web page on this site? Click here.
Bonus: The Alien Curse Generator
Another Bonus: The Profound Phrase Generator!
Grobius Shortling in Brooklyn
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Sturge's List of the Insane and Unusual Ed Weinblum: Welcome to My Random Thoughts Please visit the entries in the Imbecile Web Page above in the table of mutually beneficial links (by clicking on the yellow bar), as this is very important to the CAUSE |
Software to DownloadFonts:
You might not have all the fonts for optimum viewing of web pages accessible from this site.
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Take me out of here
Do you believe in
Free Speech? Of course you do!
It doesn't cost anything to talk (although talk can cost you).
Time and Date
Web page copyright © 1997 Cthulhu & Nosferatu Inc.
"We Can Spin A Web For YOU!"
Who is Cthulhu? ::
Who is Nosferatu?
"http://www.nethernet.com/cthulhu/websnare.htm"
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I am moving all future artwork to a new page. This one is getting too top-heavy to float in most browsers without capsizing. -- G.S. 5/98
The entire site is copyright © Grobius Shortling from 1996 on
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