War of The Coprophages

Scully: Mulder, I think the only thing more fortuitous than 
        the emergence of life on this planet, is that 
        through purely random laws of biological evolution, 
        an intelligence as complex as ours ever emanated 
        from it. The very idea of intelligent alien life is 
        at its most basic level downright anti-Darwinian.
Mulder: Scully, what are you wearing?

Sheriff: Who was that? (on cell phone)
Mulder: My drug dealer.

Mulder: I see the correlation. But just because I work for 
        the Federal Government doesn't mean I'm an expert 
        on cockroaches.

Mulder: It appears that cockroaches are mortally 
        attacking people.
Scully: I'm not gonna ask you if you just said what I 
        think you just said because I know what you just 
        said. 
   
Scully: Mulder you're not thinking of trespassing onto 
        government property again are you? I know that 
        you've done it in the past, but I don't think 
        that this case warrants it...
Mulder: Too late. I'm already inside.
Scully: (sigh) Well, what's going on? What do you see?

(Mulder freaks at sight of cockroaches coming out of 
walls.)
Scully: Mulder. What's going on?
Mulder: Gotta go.
Scully: Mulder...Mulder...Mulder?

Mulder: Dr Berenbaum I'm going to have to ask you a 
        few questions.
Dr Berenbaum: For instance?
Mulder: What's a woman like you doing in a place like 
        this?

Bambi: Does my scientific detachment disturb you?
Mulder: No...No actually I find it quite refreshing. 
        (cell phone rings) Not now! (hangs up)

Mulder: Bambi also has this theory I've never come across 
about U.F.O's....
Scully: Who??
Mulder: Dr Berenbaum.
Scully: Her name is Bambi?
Mulder: Yeah both her parents were naturalists. Her theory 
        is that UFO's are actually nocturnal insect 
        swarms passing through electrical air fields.
Scully: Her name is Bambi??

Mulder: Scully, can I confess something to you?
Scully: Yeah, sure. Ok.
Mulder: I hate insects.

Scully: Mulder, are you sure it wasn't a girlie scream? 
        (scream in background) What was that?
Mulder: I gotta go!
Scully: Mulder.....

Mulder: Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany. And as a 
        result I screamed. And not... not a girlie' scream, 
        but the scream of someone being confronted by some 
        before unknown monster that had no right existing 
        on the same planet I inhabited...
Scully: Mulder, are you sure it wasn't a Girlie scream? 

Dr Ivanov: Anyone who thinks alien visitation will come not 
           in the form of robots, but as living beings with 
           big eyes and grey skin, has been brainwashed with 
           too much science fiction. (Mulder gets funny look)

Mulder: Greetings from Planet Earth (to roach from floor 
        of research lab)

Mulder: So this one is just programmed to head towards any 
        object moving within the field of its sensors?
Dr. Ivanov: No.
Mulder: So why is it following me?
Dr. Ivanov: It likes you.

Scully: Mulder, I think you've been in this town too long.

(Scully pulls up next to Mulder's car and sees woman in 
passenger seat.)
Scully: Let me guess... Bambi.

Scully: Smart is sexy. Think of it this way Mulder. By the 
        time there's another invasion of artificially 
        intelligent dung-eating robotic probes from outer
        space maybe their uber children will have 
        devised a way to save our planet.
Mulder: You know I never thought I'd say this to you 
        Scully.... But you smell bad!