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A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV) |
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What did the baby chick
say when the mother hen laid an orange?
Look at the Orange Momma laid!
Knock knock. Who's there? Lass. Lass who?
Lassoo my horse! It's getting away!
What did the snail say as he was riding on the turtles back?
(throwing your arms straight up for visual effect)
Ooouuuueeeeeeee!!
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza maker?
Make me one with everything.
What do you call a psychic midget who's escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
What do you get when you cross an agnostic with a dyslexic insomniac?
Someone who lies awake at night pondering the existence
of doG.
What do you get when you cross a mafia don with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand.
What do Winnie the Pooh and Atilla the Hun have in common?
Same middle name.
What do you call Bob the Electrician after he's been fired?
Bob.
What do you get when you cross a bowl of mashed potatoes with a sponge???
I don't know what you call it but it sure soaks up the gravy!!
How many ski instructors does it take to put in a light bulb?
Ten. One to put it in, and ten to tell her how good her turns
are.
Why is Cinderella such a poor soccer player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach!
Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?
Because they have such big fingers.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A lot of big holes in Australia.
What did the man say when he walked into the bar?
"Ouch!"
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
What is British Columbia's favorite wine?
"I wanna go to Hawaii!"
What do you get when you cross Lassie with a cantaloupe?
A melon-collie baby.
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says:
"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"
Why did Cleopatra always say no.
Because she was the Queen of de Nile.
There
was a journalist who was sent to find
photographer Tanaka Rhee, who had been lost in
New Guinea while on assignment for LIFE magazine.
After months of searching through steaming
jungles and rank swampland, he finally came upon
a small village where several outsiders were held
in deep, murky pits.
Shining
a flashlight into one pit after another, the
journalist at last spotted his quarry. Jumping
for joy, he sang out, "Oh, sweet Mr. Rhee of
LIFE, at last I've found you!"
TRUE FACT ...
Humans begin laughing at two to three months of age. Six year
olds laugh about 300 times per day, while adults laugh from 15 to 100 times per day.
SOURCE:
NYT, Dr. William F. Fry, Stanford University
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Today's Word –
BELIE
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