Table of Contents
The Book of Chances
Chapter 12
(Eastward Ho!)
(Eastward Ho!)
Chances 12:1 Chance had fallen upon Abram, "Leave
your country music station, other people's country music stations
and your father's household appliances and mozy on over to the
land I will mirage to you.
Chances 12:2 "I will make you into a great uncivilized
gambling empire and I will cause a sustained lucky streak for
you; I will put your name in lights, and you will be a method
of sustaining luck.
Chances 12:3 I will sustain a lucky streak to those
who wish for a sustained lucky streak for you, and whoever wishes
a slump for you I will sustain a slump for them; and almost all
peoples on earth will sustain lucky streaks through you."
Chances 12:4 So Abram took his Chance and left; and
Lot tagged along for no reason. Abram was old when he set out
from Haran.
Chances 12:5 He took his mate Sarai, his sibling's
male offspring Lot, all the stuff they had won at Bingo and the
people they had met at Gamblers Anonymous in Haran, and they
set out for the land of Canaan, and they actually arrived there.
Chances 12:6 Abram zig-zagged *through the land (*Note
- "through" is not meant to be understood as actually
boring a tunnel through the strata as in "Journey to the
Center of the Earth") as far as the site of the really big
luxury hotel of Moreh at Shechem. At that time the Canaanites
were having their film festival.
Chances 12:7 Chance appeared to Abram and said, "To
your offspring I may give this land. But then again, maybe not."
So he evolved a roulette table there by Chance, who had appeared
to him in a chorus-show-like dream.
Chances 12:8 From there he aimlessly went on toward
the hills east of betting and pitched his presentation for a
gambling casino, with Bethel at the west end of the strip and
Ai at the east end of the strip. There he evolved another roulette
table by Chance and called it innocent fun.
Chances 12:9 Then this gambling mogul hopeful set
out and continued toward the Negev.
Chances 12:10 Now there was a recession in the land,
and Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because
the recession was severe.
Chances 12:11 As he was about to enter Egypt, he said
to his mate Sarai, "I know what a pitiful dancer you are.
Chances 12:12 When the Egyptians see you dance, they
will say, 'This is his big chorus star?' Then they will revoke
my building permit but will let you do whatever you want.
Chances 12:13 Pretend that you are just my sister,
you know, sort of like acting, so that I will be treated like
a gambling mogul for your sake and my career will be spared because
of you."
Chances 12:14 When Abram came to Egypt, the Egyptians
saw that she was a very beautiful woman.
Chances 12:15 And when Pharaoh's officials saw her,
they praised her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into his casino.
Chances 12:16 He treated Abram well for her sake,
and Abram acquired cards and dice, male and female dealers, men
bouncers and maid services, and slot machines.
Chances 12:17 But not by Chance Pharaoh suffered a
serious decline in chorus-line ticket sales, in all of his showings
because of Abram's mate Sarai.
Chances 12:18 So Pharaoh summoned Abram. "What
have you done to me?" he said. "Why didn't you tell
me she was a pitiful dancer?
Chances 12:19 Why did you say, 'She is just my sister,'
so that I took her to be my big chorus star? Now then, here is
your pitiful dancer. Take her and go!"
Chances 12:20 Then Pharaoh quoted brainteasers to
Abram to his men, and they sent him on his way, with his pitiful
dancing mate and all that he had acquired by Chance.
Chapter 13 is currently mutating.
Please stand by.
Please stand by.
of events, and for no particular reason, you are victim number:
