Table of Contents
EvoNews!
Evolution in the news and the
news covering evolution
(and maybe some atheist tidbits too)
(and maybe some atheist tidbits too)
[Note: the Editor in Chief's added comments are shown in brackets. Hey, just like this one! How about that?! Titles are links to the original stories.]
The Evolution of Junk-Food Junkies
For many parents [,school dieticians and the Green Giant], persuading young children to eat fresh fruit and vegetables [as opposed to rotting fruit and vegetables] is exasperating - if not impossible [- if not exasperating].
But new [and improved] research suggests [to some people] fussiness over [vegan] meals could [or could not] be due to an evolutionary trait designed [By a designer?] to protect youngsters from harmful toxins [Unless said toxins would cause genetic mutations aiding in Neo-Darwinian evolution, otherwise that would be self-defeating].
The problem is that a strategy which was sensible thousands [if not millions] of years ago does not apply today [Why not? Did all the toxic veggies become extinct?] and may be responsible for British children [not children from any other country] not eating enough fruit and veg.
Cancer Research UK found children may [or may not] have evolved a natural suspicion [a.k.a. natural selection] of foods with the potential to upset their tender stomachs. [So eating junk food with all its grease and fat doesn't have the potential to upset tender stomachs? Are you kidding me?!]
The study's authors hope [on bended knee] that by understanding the reasons behind children's [evolved] fussiness, [higher evolved] strategies can be developed to encourage [trick] them to eat healthily [like deep frying said vegetables and dipping them in powdered sugar].
The scientists asked [while drinking coffee and eating Spam] whether youngsters were reluctant to eat any unfamiliar foods or whether they were selectively rejecting those most likely to pose a threat to health [or whether they were selectively selecting foods which might aid in their future quest for attracting the opposite sex].
This theory dates back to early human history when the presence of toxins in many plants made eating fruit and vegetables a risk to young children. [But this is not the case any more. All toxic plants have died out and kids can eat everything they want from mushrooms to poison oak.]
Questionnaires were given to 564 [human animal] mothers of [human animal] children aged two to find those who were neophobic - reluctant to eat new foods. [I am neophobic too. I am reluctant to digesting new research such as this.]
The results showed neophobic children often ate very low amounts of green vegetables, meat and fruit. [And what's wrong with that? It's worked for thousands of years, hasn't it? Why buck the trend now? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Dance with the one what brung ya. - You get the idea.]
The more fussy [selective] a child [offspring] was, the less they consumed potentially dangerous [as well as potentially healthy] foods.
[So kids stopped eating all together. The human race died out. You don't exist. This is all an illusion.]
Lead researcher Lucy [I Like To] Cooke said: "The problem is that strategies which were sensible for children to adopt thousands of years ago [Note: they adopted this strategy in the historic vote of Childrens' Dietary Independance of 1776 B.C by a margin of 336 to 12.] are not such a good idea now [Because her investments in vegetable farming are plummeting to record lows]."
[So... early in human history...
Were the mothers of these infants trying to feed them harmful toxic food that they themselves would not eat and the kids rejected it? If so, were the mothers evil or just stupid?
Or were the kids toddling about by themselves and eating everything they could put in their mouths and spitting out those items which they felt might be harmful? If so, where were the mothers and how did these kids survive in the first place?
All of this "research" has frazzled my nerves. I need to go eat some chocolate. Mmmmmmmmm... choc-o-late.]
McCave Kid - He's lovin' it!
