Foley High Trumpets
The Powers of Woodwinds

WIN-1
a. The only people with fewer rights than freshman are woodwinds. b. Yes, this means that woodwinds have LESS than no rights.

WIN-2
a. The status of Honorary Woodwind shall revoke all privileges and rights given to the afflicted brass player(s). During this time, all truebrass shall shun the freebrass.
b. During this time of mourning, the afflicted freebrass shall not speak to a truebrass unless specifically ordered to do so. Failure to comply shall result in permanent loss of brass status. The former brass must then choose their new denomination: Woodwind or percussion.

WIN-3
Should a woodwind attempt to be cool, they shall be placed in solitary confinement until they have regained their sanity.

WIN-4
a. Asking a woodwind, other than those designated as honorary brass by the trumpet section leader, any question requiring an intelligent answer, shall be illegal.
b. In an emergency, the above law shall be voided on a per case basis with written consent from the Trumpet Section Leaders.

WIN-5
The words ‘loser’ and ‘woodwind’ may be used interchangeably.

WIN-6
a. No woodwind shall be given an unaccompanied solo greater than 5 sec. in length, for any reason.
b. Should a woodwind desire a solo longer than the allotted 5 sec, he/she must be accompanied by a brass player (preferably a trumpet player).
c. Augie is exempt from WIN-6a and WIN-6b.

WIN-7
Siblings of woodwinds shall have the right to band-subsidized therapy.

WIN-8
a. A woodwind's four responses are: "Yes, sir," "No, sir," "I do not know, sir," and "No excuse, sir."
b. Any other responses given without permission shall be referred to TSL-10.
 
 
The Foley High School "Mighty Band From Lion Land" Trumpet Section

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