This article aims to make explicit some of the assumptions pertaining to sexual identity, especially bisexuality, within the queer community. It is abridged version of a paper I presented at Queer Collaborations national conference, in July 1996. It arose out of much thinking on my part pertaining to the marginalisation of bisexuals in the queer community. Notions of queer community emphasise inclusivity and diversity, yet this requires the rejection of a particular construction of sexuality, and a reappraisal of the phobic, sex- negative culture we live in.
Firstly my use of the term 'queer' should be explained. Queer means to me that body of new thinking in regards to sexual politics which is inclusive of difference; sex positive; tolerant of fluidity in gender and sexuality; and is a proudly subversive radical liberation agenda. I see 'queer' as distinct from the more prevalent liberal Gay and Lesbian Equal Rights agenda. I am also using 'queer' as an umbrella term - an abridged way of saying 'gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, transsexual and everybody else who is not straight'. By queer community I mean these people, us, the scene, support groups, Pride organisations, campus groups, media, the friendship networks we create based on queerness ETC. The queer community is not always 'Queer' (or a community) in the way I have suggested, and this to some extent is the crux of this paper.
Any discussion of bisexuality must take into account the impressive and daunting diversity of the bisexual population. Although I acknowledge that within any category of sexual identity there is massive diversity, it should be noted that the sphere of sexual identity and activity outside exclusive homosexuality and heterosexuality is huge. Not all bisexuals are part of, or are interested in any inclusion in, the queer community (although I'm sure there are a few suburban closeted gays and lesbians who aren't either). The issues affecting me as a bisexual queer-identifying woman are distinct from those affecting men, and more straight-identifying bis.
Here I feel it is necessary to give some discussion of the schism between activity and identity. That is I believe someone may be bisexual even if in a monogamous homosexual or heterosexual relationship, a woman may be a lesbian even though she has sex with men, a man may be straight even if he is a regular beat visitor, and so on. Obviously, there are a number of pressures on people which affect how they identify, not least of which are the phobias I will address. But my basic contention is that a person's sexual identity is what they feel it is, rather than the sum total of their sexual activity. That is, how we define sexual identity is not just who we fuck, it often has to do with how we fuck (e.g. s/m or vanilla), emotional ties, preferences or lack of preferences, and community affiliations.
The dominant construction of sexuality in our society is a basic dualism which posits heterosexuality in opposition to homosexuality, and vice versa. Such a binary opposition suggests that there are no similarities between these two categories, and no difference or dissent within them. The defining characteristic of either category is that it is not the Other. Binary oppositions necessarily involve hierarchy, depending upon positioning. In the straight world this is obviously hetero over homo. Heterosexual activity and identity are privileged or assumed, whereas non-heterosexuality is denied, despised, and systematically marginalised. This hierarchy is so dominant that many people internalise it and often regulate their behaviour, thoughts and desires to conform with it. This is homophobia and heterosexism.
However, in the queer community I would suggest this binary is alive and well. That is, queer experience is defined in opposition to heterosexuality, by what we are not. What that really means is that homosexual experience is privileged and frequently assumed within the queer community. Much of the rituals associated with developing pride also serve to invert the binary, they serve to assert a hierarchy of homo over hetero. This is something which is entirely understandable but isn't mentioned much at all: Heterophobia.
This would be fine and unproblematic if there was complete homogeneity in queer experience, as the binary suggests. But there obviously isn't. More than that, this is a binary opposition of monosexualities - it completely omits bisexual activity and identity. This construction of sexuality fails in that it doesn't fit bisexuals. Just as homosexual people are testament to the failure of homophobic social conditioning, bisexuals confound the bogus assumption that all people are monosexual. Bisexuals are involved in straight relationships, bent relationships, monogamy, poly-fidelity, rampant promiscuity and celibacy, but we are here.
Bisexuals are subject to a set of rather nasty phobias: biphobia, homophobia and heterophobia. In the most part bisexuals experience biphobia as homophobia in the straight world and heterophobia in the queer community (another illusory binary!). But there is a specific oppression experienced by bisexuals. This biphobia is apparent in the following comments:
'It's just a stage you're going through'
'I was bisexual too before I saw the light and came out as hetero/homo'
'Bisexuals are fence-sitters, promiscuous, a cop-out, etc'
'My last lover was bisexual. She/he left me for a man/woman. I'll never fuck one of you again'
as well as
'I think everyone is bisexual really'
I categorise this as biphobia because it constructs bisexuality as transitional, a delusion, cowardice, or as untrustworthy, rather than a legitimate sexuality. I categorise the last comment as biphobic because it denies the distinctness and importance of my sexuality - it undermines the position of bisexuals by generalising it. It is also the comment I've heard most from straight people who have never fucked a member of the same sex and have little comprehension of the societal consequences of such action.
Bisexuals who are out about their bisexuality are the target of the harshest and most outspoken biphobia. But it's important to acknowledge that it not only affects bis. I consider heterophobia in the queer community to be damaging and hurtful to a lot of queers, and the relationships they have with each other and straight people. I view heterophobia, like homophobia, as a constricting set of fears solidified into a moral code which polices and moderates certain behaviour. It makes the distinction between homosexuality and heterosexuality rigid, with the consequence of stepping over the dividing line being a threat to the stability of the identity.
For queers who have struggled to develop an identity outside compulsory heterosexuality the crisis of identity presented by heterosexual activity can seem risky and threatening. Yet some lesbians still have sex with men, and some gay men still have sex with women. My concern is that heterosex is closeted in the queer community, whether bisexuals, lesbians or gay men are involved. I believe this is due to a large extent to the internalisation of the construction of sexuality I've discussed. In the queer community this involves the belief that heterosex is inferior, less valid, deviant, aberrant, and tantamount to a betrayal. This is biphobia but not of the vocal, visible, external variety. It is the biphobia which I think a lot of us in the queer community carry around very quietly inside our heads, influencing decisions we make about both sexual activity and identity.
This brings me back to sex negativity as a defining aspect of dominant sexual ideology. The culture we live in is profoundly anti-sex. Despite the fact that sex is constantly talked about, represented in the media, used to sell stuff, and validated as central to intimate relationships, it is to a large extent shrouded in puritanism, shame, embarrassment, misinformation, and way too much hype. Just because much of what brings us together in the queer community is to do with sex it doesn't mean we've suddenly exorcised all this shit and become liberated sexual beings. I view biphobia, and the constraints it places on the expression of desire, as a manifestation of sex negativity. Biphobic self-governance is a reflection of the extent to which this oppression has been internalised.
There is no room for biphobia in my queer utopia. But it isn't going to disappear
overnight. I feel it needs to be addressed in the queer community if we are indeed going to
be a real community, inclusive and accepting of diversity. I'm not satisfied with bisexuals,
lesbians or gay men feeling compelled to lie to be accepted in the queer community. That
is, I feel that heterosexual desire and activity must be acknowledged as able to be
incorporated in queer identity, not solely the domain of heterosexual identity. Ridding the
world of sexual oppression demands that all queers, as well as queer-friendly straights, are
allies.
For bisexuals:
(1) Come out
(2) Resist the urge to be closeted in the queer community, even though it may seem really cosy sometimes. If you're in a same sex relationship don't let people assume you're lesbian or gay.
(3) Be aware of heterosexual privilege. If you're in a straight relationship don't let people assume you're straight.
(4) Tell everyone it's not just a phase you're going through.
(5) If it's a phase you're going through, enjoy it, but recognise what this may mean to people who are exclusively homosexual.
(6) Don't just whinge about the marginalisation of bisexuals. Do something about it, step outside your comfort zone.
(7) If bisexual activism for you means the creation of bi-only space be careful that 'community' does not become segregation, isolation and the legitimation of oppression. Enjoy your opportunities to love hets and homos.
(8) FUCK AND FALL IN LOVE WITH WHOEVER YOU LIKE
For gay men and lesbians:
(1) Don't say 'Queer' when you mean 'lesbian and gay men'. Don't say 'lesbian and gay men' when you mean 'Queer'. This term is of importance to many bisexuals as it relates non-specifically to non-heterosexuality. We'd like it to include us so please don't use it exclusively.
(2) Don't assume that everyone at your club, pride event, organisation or in your bed is a lesbian or a gay man. Bisexuals are everywhere.
(3) Be pro-sex. If a friend, whether they identify as bisexual or homosexual, starts sleeping with someone of the opposite sex, don't ignore them, lecture them, persecute them. Desire is unpredictable and excellent.
(4) If you feel attracted to a member of the opposite sex, enjoy it.
(5) Recognise your heterophobia where it might exist. Consider what it gains you now, and what it might gain you to give it up.
(6) FUCK AND FALL IN LOVE WITH WHOEVER YOU LIKE