The Divorced Dad's site -= My Story =-

Divorced Dad's

Well here it is. I wrote this back in the day's when this site was very young, only a couple of hours old, as a matter of fact. It is the one page on this site that does not require a lot of changes. No matter how much we each wish that we could change our stories, the sad truth is that we can't, and sometimes that is for the best.
I would encourage you to share your story, and have it displayed on these pages. You can remain completely anonymous if that is what you want. You might think that your story has no place here, that maybe it just isn't that helpful, but your story could be the one thing that convinces another person to not feel so miserable about the choices that we make. Maybe your story is the one that they can relate to.

My Story

It gets to be really tough trying to decide where to start something like this. I am going to focus on how the divorce effected my kids, and my relationship with them.

I have two children, and the oldest was three when the idea of the divorce became final. My ex and I had decided that it was time for me to be spending my nights elsewhere. We had kept the talk of divorce very quiet around Zach, our son, until we were sure of the decision.
I spoke with Zach on the day I was going to be leaving home, and I tried to explain to him that I wasn't going to be living there any longer. As you can probably imagine, or maybe you have experienced it yourself, the tears and questions of why started to flood at me.
I am still not sure that I was correct in saying what I did, but when he started asking why I only had one answer pop into my head.
I asked him to remember Peter Pan, and that Pan never grew up. Once I was sure he had this image in his mind I explained to him that I had been a lot like Peter Pan, however, it was time for me to grow up, and that's why I was leaving the house.
As I mentioned before, I am not sure I said the right things or gave the right explanation, but I do know that I was honest.

That is where it all started. The relationship with my children was going to take on a different form, from that point forward. I think that it is benefitial for you to know that the relationship I do have with my kids is fantastic. Zachary is seven now, and knee deep in soccer and tee-ball games. Hannah, my daughter, is three, and all she wants is to be able to keep up with her brother.

It has been a few years now since that first day, and I would be lying to you if I told you that things have gotten easier. They haven't, not entirely anyway. The passing of time has lessened the impact for everyone involved, but sometimes there are still tears. I am getting better at it, and rest assured that you will too.