February 1997 Column from THE WORLD OF SOOSE--A "SITE" FOR SORE EYES

Hi, everyone! Its February and I'm baaack for another visit!

CRASH!!!

Duh,...hey you! What you want I should do wid dis here chair?

Duh,....ok.
CRASH!!!

I assumed that I could have a desk, chair, table, etc. But they explained to me that this was CYBERSPACE and that there was no room for actual furniture! They said that things like HTML, GIF, URL, and HTTP, among other things, were appropriate for my page. I don't know the meanings of half of this stuff!

So, as I understand it, these "codes" are like furniture for Cyberspace. I can just imagine inviting someone to my page and asking them to pull up a "MID" and sit a spell, while having a cup of "MOD". Then I would "WAV" good-bye to them when they would leave. RIGHT! There are no "GIFS", ands, or buts here! This "lingo" has got me confused!

For example, "Surfing the Net" leads me to picture a surfer on his board, "hanging ten" on a fish net. "World Wide Web" (www) brings to mind a giant spider web covering the entire earth. And they don't call it the "Web" for nothing! Once you're hooked, its like you're the fly caught in that "web"--indefinitely (HELP MEEEEE!).

But, back to these confusing "codes". Below, I have listed just a few of the most common ones with MY interpretation of what they mean. In parenthesis, are what the letters really stand for (I think). The actual meanings are "meaningless".

HTML (Hyper Text Mark-up Language)--

HiT [and] Miss [and] Luck--For me, its usually more misses than hits, and little luck, in which case I would need...

HTM (Hyper Text Mark-up?)--

HiT [and] Miss [but little or no luck]

GIF (Graphics Interchange Format)--

Getting It [to] Function--I also notice that it has a sound from combining a cough and a sneeze, with a hiccup thrown in on the side. (GIF! Ooops! Pardon me!)

VRML (Virtual Reality Mark-up Language)--

Very Rough [on the] Mental Logic--It sounds like the name of a disease, "Vermil" (Example--"Yikes! You've got a bad case of Vermil!").

FTP (File Transfer Protocol)--

Forget The Problem--I think its similar to STP for a car, except that its for a computer, and without Mario Andretti.

HTTP (Hyper Text Transfer Protocol)--

Had To Take Pills because I was Having [a] Tough Time Perceiving this stuff.

URL (Universal Resource Locator)--

Unusually Rough Lingo--To me, this has at least two meanings: it could either be a person's name (sounds like "Earl"), or in some parts of the USA, the word "oil" is pronounced "url" (Example--"Url needs url in his car.").

And then there are three of the many different kinds of audio formats--

WAV (WAVE)--

A gesture made with either the hand or the hand and arm, meaning "hello" or "good-bye"; or what surfers ride when they are not "Surfing the Net".

If MID = MIDI, does MOD = MODI?--

When I saw both of these terms, I felt as though I was being transported back to the 1960's and early 1970's (remember "midi"-skirts?, and "mod" meant "modern"?).

And last, but not least,...

PIXEL--

A distant relative to the "fairy" and "elf" families. You DO believe in them, DON'T YOU?

Now, let's see...if I make a couple of sentences using these things, this is how it would look:

CRASH!!!

This page is dedicated to WEBTV, because if it hadn't been for WEBTV, I wouldn't be here tormenting you with this stuff, would I?

I want to say "hello" and thanks to Wrenn, Rare Bear, jc, and the Andresen Family for their assistance--"HELLO AND THANKS!"

ALSO, a VERY special "hello" and thanks to Linda, my "mentor" and "guardian angel", who is helping me make this site compatible not only for WEBTV users, but for pc users as well. If you "click" on her name, you can go to her award winning site. And boy! Is IT a site (30 pages)! She says that she needs the "hits" (or was that "needs to get hit"?)!

THE NEXT INSTALLMENT WILL BE SOMETIME IN MARCH. SEE YOU THEN!

© 1997-2004 soose@thegrid.net

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