 |  |  | That's right, Hugo. Dudette showed
me how to be a character.
Well, now that she's gone,
I'll put my image and balloon away.
 | |  |
|
Good. You STILL look weird
in those things....
Duh.... Ya can't come in.
No kids allowed.
I'mnotakid!
I'mHugo'snephew,Jamie
.
[TRANSLATION: "I'm not a kid! I'm Hugo's nephew, Jamie." And I'M SUE--the creator
of this column! I created Soose, Hugo,
and YOU! So, you better let us in....]
Duh.... OK SUE! SORRY!
I'm just followin' Soose's orders....
Jamie! Sue! I'm glad you could make it!
JAMIE! Good to see you!
I see you brought your
"translator" with you....
Hehehehe!!!
[Watch it, Hugo! As I said in August,
I can ALWAYS write you OUT of this column....]
Okay.... Jeesh!
UncleHugo,whyisthereadeadbodyhere?
Arewegonnadissectit?
[TRANSLATION: "Uncle Hugo, why is there a
dead body here? Are we gonna dissect it?" DEAD BODY???!!!
DISSECT???!!! What's going on here?]
Well, gee Sue, YOU of all people should know! YOU'RE the creator of this column! YOU'RE writing this stuff, not ME!
[Oh, yeah.... Hehehe! I forgot....
(ahem!) Nevermind!]
Uh, Jamie, that's not a dead body. That's last month's guest. He fainted....
FAINTED?! I think he's beyond
"fainted".... "Blotto", maybe.....
I said ya gotta have a password,
or ya can't come in!
PASSWORD??!! NOW what is that goofball up to? Hugo, go see what all this "password" stuff is all about, ok?
Uh, Soose, I, uh, told
the "goofball" to ask for a password....
WHAT??!!
HOW will THAT work? NObody knows the password! I don't even know the password!
But, him and me do....
UGH!!! Tell him to let whoever is out there in (sigh!).
Hi, everybody! I'm Denise Andresen,
your first kidnap victim. Remember ME?
You are NOT Denise Andresen! You're SAGE!
Ah! But that guy at the door
doesn't know that!
OH NO! NOT YOU!
I thought we FINALLY got rid
of you in July after fighting
the whole month of June with you!
That's what YOU think!
Hi, there, Reader!
Remember! Visit The Sage Page!
Its new and improved!
Its GREAT! Its.....
Ah, shuddup, will ya?!
HUMPH!
Oh, boy.... Here we go again...
HEY! What's THIS? Another kidnap victim?
(sigh!) No, that's last month's vict... GUEST. He fainted.
Likely story. More like "knock-out drops"....
Duh.... Ya can't come in.
Denise Andresen is ALREADY here, so ya can't be HER.
Look, I AM Denise Andresen!
You SHOULD know! You kidnapped me, you bubblehead!
NOW what?
Duh.... HUGO! They found your mother!
Momma's been found? WHERE is she?
Duh.... She's over at some place called The Sage Page.
I hear dat she's busy re-decoratin' it.
(COUGH!) (GASP!)
Well, I hafta go, now. Its been SWELL!
But, I think I hafta get back to (gulp!)
The Sage Page....
OH! Are you LEAVING, Sage?
Uh...yeah, Soose. Sorry, but something's come up....
But, I'll be back! Happy Anniversary!
Maybe you better tell the reader to wait awhile before coming to MY site (sigh!)....
SLAM!!!
I guess that means that (gulp!) I can
come in now, huh?
Duh.....well.....
LET HER IN!
OKAY!
Hi, Denise! I'm glad that you could make it under your own power this time. I still feel bad about what happened in May....
That's okay, Soose. After a little therapy,
I'm fine now. But, I DID
want to stop by and
wish you a Happy Anniversary.
Therapy? (gulp!) Oh....
Uh, maybe I shouldn't ask,
but what IS that on floor?
You haven't gone in for MURDER
now, have you? What's this
"OUT OF ORDER" sign doing on top?
Uh, No... That's Brian, last month's guest. Its a rather long story. You see, he passed out from....
That's okay. I don't think I WANT to know.
I've got to go, now. I get rather
nervous here...
Well, thanks for stopping by!
No problem, Soose. Happy Anniversary!
I don't understand it. She puts an "OUT OF ORDER" sign
on some poor "victim".... (sigh!)
SLAM!
Well, I got Momma back home! I hope she stays there....
Good! I was hoping that you wouldn't bring her HERE. Poor Sage. Hehehehe.....
Well,...Pilgrim....
you better let me in....
Duh.... John Wayne, right?
Well, sorry, John, but dis is a
private party....
My name is NOT John.
I'm Linda! Soose invited me!
Duh.... You just said YOU was John....
Do I look like a "John" to you?
Duh....well....now dat you mention it....
Nevermind.
Duh... Well....is THAT John?
No, that's....
Hi, there, bright boy!
I'm J. Theodore Mudd--Talent Agent. Say, I just LOVE
that "dumb act" of yours. Have you ever thought of
the entertainment indust....
Don't waste your breath....
Duh.... HUH???
LET THEM IN, YOU DING-DONG! Jeesh!
OKAY! (gulp!) She wants ya....
LINDA! You've come back!
"Glad to see you again, dahling, RALLY I am."
HUH? THAT doesn't SOUND like you! Has "stardom" gone to your head or something?
That was Katharine Hepburn.
I'm adding new voices to my repertoire every day!
Oh, I see... I see you brought that talent scout with you....
Hey there, Soose baby!
This kid is just LOADED with talent!
She made ME her agent!
I bet! (sigh!).... I caught a glimpse of her "talent" in July and August....
Well, Soose, in honor of your anniversary,
I thought that I'd sing....
Oh no! Not THAT! PLEASE!
"The Good Ship 'Lollipop'" as Shirley Temple....
(Ahem!) On the goooood ship, "Lol-li-pop"...
(Groan) Uuuuuuuuhhhhh........
Something, something,can-dy shop....
Something, something, candy shop?! Those aren't the lyrics!
I know! But I don't know all the words!
Oh, boy....
Ifthisistheentertainment,
thenI'mleaving.
[TRANSLATION: "If this is the entertainment,
then I'm leaving." Me, too!]
But....
Solong,Soose,
andHappyAnniversary!
[TRANSLATION: "So long, Soose, and Happy
Anniversary!" Yes, Soose. Happy Anniversary. I didn't think
that we'd EVER make it to our first anniversary,
but we did! Take care!]
Thank you, Jamie, and thank you, Sue. Its true. With all the "interesting" things that took place in 1997 in Sooseland, I'm surprised that we survived the year.... So long, and thanks for coming!
SLAM!!
[SLAM!!]
Hey, where did everybody go?
I was just getting warmed up!
AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Did my singing do THAT???
Is he dead?
(sigh!) No, he's not dead. That's Brian. He was last month's guest. He fainted at the thought of being taken over by an insect god or something....
SOOOOOSE!
Its ME, Outrage!
Can you tell this big ape out here
that I BELONG at this party? He says that
I hafta PAY to get in!
UGH!! Listen you big dummy! The guests DON'T pay to get in! Got that? THEY DON'T PAY!!
Duh.... Ain't dis like "pay-per-view", or sometin'?
NO!!!Come on in, Outrage....
Hey, Baw! Thanks!
Ummmmm....Soose....is this the guy
who invents different webpage tricks
that don't work right? I heard about
what happened in November and December....
Yeah.... That's HIM!
Well, in THAT case, I think that
we'd better be going. I don't want to
get trapped in one of his inventions,
if you know what I mean....
I can relate. Thanks for coming, Linda. You too, Mudd.
Anytime, Soose. Happy Anniversary.
Its been "REAL", Soose baby....
Happy Anniversary, ya know?
Yes, I know....
SLAM!!
SLAM!!
Hey, Soose, I have invented a SPECIAL anniversary trick
just for THIS occasion!
Uh-oh.... NOW what have you dreamt up?
Oh no! I heard about YOU and your inventions!
I'm gettin' outta HERE! Bye, Soose and
Happy Anniversary!
SLAM!!!
Hugo??? That chicken..... (sigh!) All right, Outrage, what's the deal? What's gonna explode? What's not gonna be there? Hmmmmm?
Why, Soose! I've been practicing! REALLY!
Can ya have the reader "click" something?
Please?
Okay.... (sigh!) Everybody, because it IS Sooseland's first anniversary, and a very happy occasion for Sooseland, I'm going to humor Outrage and ask you to CLICK HERE.
I hope THIS works....
Trust me!
HA!!!
© 1997-2004 soose@thegrid.net 
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